Mine (Revised)
by taylansmommy
Summary: This is a Jacob and Nessie story. I previously published this a few years ago, but I am going back and editing and expanding on it in hopes to continue with a sequel.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own these characters. They belong in the world of Stephanie Meyers. I published this story a few years ago, but I wanted to go back and revise and edit. Adding and cleaning things up as I go. It is my intent to continue where I have left off here, but I had to revisit this world in order to do so. Please review and let me know what you think. It has been awhile. The chapters alternate between the POV of Renesmee and Jacob, and situations are repeated from each of their POV. It is fun to go back and spend time in this world. I hope you enjoy and the chapters will be posted as they are edited. Thank you…Dana

Mine

A Renesmee and Jacob Story

By Taylansmommy

1. New Eyes

Renesmee

I knew I was dreaming; everything was too out of focus for me to be awake. I looked down at myself in a flowing white gown and then up to see my father waiting for me by the door. I walked slowly to him as he handed me a bouquet of gardenias and red roses. He smiled and I knew if his frozen body would have allowed him to cry, that is exactly what he would be doing. Music drifted up to us, and I recognized it as one of my father's compositions. He gently took my hand and placed it in the crook of his elbow. I held onto him tightly as we descended the large curving staircase of my Grandparent's home. When we got to the bottom the room was empty. I looked to my right and my father was gone. I was still dress in my gorgeous gown and holding my fragrant flowers, but I was alone. I cautiously walked into the large living room and standing there in front of the windows that looked out over the lawn, was the most beautiful person I had ever seen. I realized as I watched him, standing there with his back towards me, that I would never be alone. I felt my body being pulled to him, as if there was a cable attached to my heart that he was reeling in. My vision was still blurry and out of focus, but I knew who it was. I had always known. But I had never really seen him. Not until this moment. As I got close enough to touch him, he turned and I saw his hands reach towards me. It was then, when he was lifting the veil from my vision that everything became clear. My eyes slowly moved up his body. He was wearing a classic black tuxedo, his long, black hair slicked back into a ponytail. The contrast of the white collar on his russet colored neck made my heart quicken. It was as my eyes met his onyx gaze and he flashed his brilliant smile that I was complete.

He lifted his warm hand to place on me cheek and whispered, "Welcome home baby." And I realized that I was. Wherever he was, was my home.

I woke to the sound of something metallic falling to the ground, followed by the sound of my Uncle Emmett's deep laughter. I lay there wishing I could go back and finish the dream, but at the same time, I had to accept what my heart already knew. I was in love with Jacob. And the feeling went beyond love. He was essential in my life. Without him, I would cease to exist. This was a fact that I was only starting to fully realize. He had always been with me, as protector, best friend, and confidant. Only recently had I realized that my heart didn't truly beat unless he was with me. I was lying in my bed thinking just that when I heard another object crash to the floor, glass this time, and once again, the baritone laughter of my teddy bear of an Uncle.

"You act like you didn't know this day would come." Uncle Emmett said between chuckles. I heard my father sigh loudly as if in resignation. With that I decided it was time to face the irritated expression my father had worn for the past week.

I swung my legs over the side of my bed and shuffled to my closet. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and quickly dressed. I hadn't decided exactly what I was going to do with the first part of my day yet, so I just was going to be as casual as possible. The second half of my day, on the other hand was already planned. You see, today was my 18th birthday. Well at least by my way of counting.

While I had been alive for only 6 calendar years, my family and I have had to judge my age by a different set of standards. Because of my accelerated growth rate, we had been counting every 4 months as a year. So today, on my 6th calendar birthday, we are celebrating my 18th real birthday. Confusing I am sure, but I guess you would have to be part of a mythical family to completely understand it. But as I am a member of the immortal crowd, starting today, my birthdays went back to normal. Well as normal as things here can get.

I looked at myself in the mirror and quickly put my hair into a pony tail. I noticed the dark circles under my eyes and thought briefly that I should hunt. It had been almost two weeks since I had gone with Jake and I was well over due, but the thought of going without him hurt too badly. I could wait one more day and have him take me tomorrow. I slipped on my flip flops and slowly made my way out to see what expense thing my father had destroyed in his fit of denial. My Uncle Emmett was lounging on the couch, snickering to himself as my father swept up the shattered pieces of one of my Mother's favorite vases.

"Morning there pretty little lady." Uncle Emmett casually waved as I entered the room. I ran over and jumped into his lap, giving him a big hug. He was still laughing at my father when I turned and noticed the bend fireplace poker lying next to where he was removing the remaining broken glass.

"So, is something bothering you this morning Dad?" I thought it was a pretty innocent question, but it sent an even more violent fit of laughter heading in my father's direction. Dad looked at us like he was going to rip Uncle Emmett's throat out.

"Isn't there something you could be doing back up at the house?" he growled. With that Uncle Emmett stood up and dropped my on the couch.

"You know Nessie, not only do you get prettier with every year, but you really are making things a lot more interesting around here." Uncle Emmett leaned down and gave me a kiss on the forehead before quickly walking out of the cottage. I got up and walked behind my Dad and gave him a big hug, resting my head on his back.

"I'm sorry if something I've done is upsetting you Daddy." I had found over the years that anytime I was the subject of my Father's frustrations, pulling out the Daddy card always seemed to help.

He sighed again and grabbed my hands. "You haven't done anything sweetheart; it is just hard for me to let you grow up. I feel like I haven't gotten enough time with you, and then to see you have dreams about leaving us, it is just really difficult for me." I lowered my hands and he turned to embrace me tightly. He kissed my forehead and then finished his clean-up of the evidence.

"It was just a dream Dad." I bent down and picked up the fireplace poker, handing it to him so he could return it to its normal state. "I don't think that my feelings are in any way reciprocated. Jake has always treated me like his little sister. I am beginning to wonder if the poor guy didn't get a defective imprint." I half smiled and started towards my bedroom again. The conversation was making me miss Jake too much. There was an ache in my stomach and my heart.

My Dad gently grabbed my arm stopping me from leaving the room. "Sit down for a minute Nessie." He turned to face me and then took a deep breath. I could tell that this was going to be a conversation that was hard for him and I just hoped that in the end, my heart still remained intact. In the silence before he spoke, my mind went to all the wrong places. Maybe Jacob had told my Dad he would never have those kind feelings for me. Maybe he had asked him to let me down easy. I really didn't want to get the "I hope we can still be friends" speech from my Father.

"Nessie, what did Jacob tell you about why he went away this week?" Dad was looking intently at me, and there was sadness in his eyes.

"He told me that his and Sam's packs were going to be doing some training and bonding. That they had all gotten sloppy and needed to get back on track." I chuckled a little at the memory of Jake saying they had all become Lazy Ass Dogs. Dad smiled as he picked it out of my thoughts as well.

"That was not the main reason for him leaving. He wanted to give you some time. In fact, he thought he should go away for longer than a week, but your Mom and I knew how difficult that would be for both of you." He took my chin in his hand and moved my face so I was looking into his eyes. It reminded me of when I was little and he wanted to make sure that he had my full attention. "His feelings for you are deeper than you can even imagine Nessie. It is because of that love and the respect he has for you, as well as your mom and me that Jacob has never pursued those feelings. He wanted to give you time to see if you felt anything close to that without him influencing you." He gently brushed a tear way from my face as the realization hit me that Jacob truly loved me. To be honest, it was more of a confirmation than I realization. In my heart I knew, but my mind would not let me believe.

Dad lowered his hand and his eyes. I could tell while I saw this conversation as a beginning; he saw it as an ending. With his words, he felt as if he had set me free to fly away. This time it was my turn to raise his eyes to mine.

"I love you Dad. I am sorry that you and Mom were cheated out time with me as a child. I wish that I could make it so that time would have slowed down for you. But I am the luckiest person in the world. You and Mom have given me more than I could ever ask for, and because of this magical life that we are a part of, we get eternity to all be together. I am in no hurry to run off and get married, and I will always be your little girl. But I would consider it the greatest honor in the world if I get to have Jacob to complete my life. I just hope that he doesn't feel like he hasn't had a choice." That fear had gripped me more this last week than I wanted to admit. As soon as Jacob left, as I watched him wave at me from the edge of the forest that morning before he disappeared, I had begun to panic that he may resent the fact that he had no choice as to whether or not he was bound to me. As the days had gone by and my ache and need for him had grown, I kept thinking that maybe he was glad to have some distance. I didn't want him to think of me as an obligation, when I thought of him as the most wonderful gift in the world. As I was finally able to push these fears forward, the tears really started to flow.

Dad wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. "That is one worry you can just push right out of your mind Renesmee Carlie Cullen. I have never, not one time, heard Jacob think or refer to you as an obligation. From the first moment he saw you, his life became full. It had a purpose. The way he feels about you now, the love that he feels for you, is one that has grown and changed over the years. As much as I hate to admit it, I have a great deal of respect for Jacob Black. And I dare say that there is not another person on this Earth that I would even consider to be as worthy for you as he is."

I knew how hard that was for my father to say. Jacob and he had had their problems over the years. I knew all the stories and I knew that it had taken a lot of patience on everyone's part for life to be as harmonious as it was. I had always had the utmost respect for my Father, but I was now in awe of this wonderful man. "Thank you. I love you too." He whispered as he kissed the top of my head. I hugged him tighter, and he sighed.

"Well I had better go and see if they need any help at the house. Plus I have to explain to Bella about the vase. I guess we will just have to go back to Venice to replace it." I looked up at him and smiled. No matter how many centuries we all lived, I would always be my Daddy's girl. "You better go get yourself cleaned up too. I am sure that Alice will be sending someone for you soon."

We stood and after one more hug he was out the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts and my ache. Jacob assured me that he and the pack would be there tonight. I had decided, even before my talk with my Father that I would try to be subtle about letting my feeling show and let him have time to adjust. Chicken way out, I know, but I didn't want to make things awkward either. If he was not ready to see me as a woman yet, I didn't want to throw myself at him.

I decided that I had better take a shower and give Aunt Alice the "best canvas" possible as she always put it when we had one of her parties. Since my Mom turned, I had taken over duties as "Guinea Pig Barbie". I enjoyed it though. It was fun to spend time with Aunt Alice. She always made everything so much more than you thought it could be. After my shower, I put on a simple little sundress I knew that I could pull it over my head without ruining my face or hair. I put my flip flops back on and grabbed a sweater. I knew well enough by now, to not go up to the house before I was summoned. I sat on the couch and put on some music. I just hit the play button on the remote and Debussy filled the cottage. I lay my head down on the arm rest and let myself drift. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, there was a knock on the door and I looked at the clock on the mantle. Two hours had passed.

I quickly went to the door and Seth and Embry were standing there with huge smiles on their bronze faces. "Happy Birthday!" they yelled together, each taking a turn giving me a big hug. I pulled them into the cottage.

"Alice sent us down here to get you." Seth said quickly looking over at Embry.

My heart started to crack; normally this as Jacob's job. He would always race me to the house and once we were there he would pick me up and carry me in with one hand over my eyes.

"So are you guys all back?" I was trying to be a casual as possible. I was trying to not see too much in the fact that Jake had not been here yet.

"Yeah, Alice has everyone working like crazy. That's why she sent us and not Jake, he has his hands full right now." Embry looked at the floor while he spoke kind of chuckling the words out.

"Well let's get this show on the road." Seth said as he opened the door. They didn't offer to run, but I knew the faster I saw Jake the better I'd feel. I took off with them laughing behind me. I didn't run at full speed, because I didn't want them to have to phase. Seth caught up easily and we only had to slow slightly for Embry to be on my left. Before we reached the house they each grabbed one of my arms to stop me.

"We're here" Seth yelled towards the house. We were still far enough in the woods that I couldn't see anything but trees.

"Keep her there. No peeking Nessie." It took all my self-control to not break free from them as Jake's voice echoed through the trees.

In a flash, Aunt Alice was standing in front of me. She giggled as she tied a blindfold over my eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

I do not own these characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyers.

2. Well It Sounded Like a Good Idea at the Time

Jacob

When I brought up this idea, I didn't know how hard it would be. "Oh I'll just stay away for a couple of weeks", like it was not big deal. Ok what can I say, I'm stupid. Thank God Bella and Edward had their heads on straight. All I could do now was hope that Nessie was having as difficult of a time as I was. I wanted to run back to her, as fast as I could, but I would have to wait. I still hadn't decided what I would do if this time apart had the opposite effect that I was hoping for. I can't believe it had only been a week since I left. That was definitely long enough for me. And some of my pack wasn't too happy with me. I decided, as Alpha, if I was going to suffer, we all would. Quil was sitting across the fire pit from me, grumbling about how he wished he would have never switched packs. Embry was faring a little better. His imprint, Stephanie, decided to go visit her sister in Seattle, so there really was not temptation for him to go home yet. But I could tell it was getting harder with each passing second. Seth hadn't imprinted yet, so this was just a good time for him and Leah….Well Leah had stayed in wolf form all week. She was happier that way. I wasn't going to argue.

Leah had just gotten back from a run, I really wasn't sure to where, when she finally decided to phase back to her human form. She walked up to me with a big smile on her face.

"Well Jake you will be please to know that your bloodsucker light is doing just fine, although Edward was having a fit this morning. He kept mumbling under his breath about him not getting enough time and something being inevitable. Maybe that is good news for you huh?" She set down on the log farthest away from me. It probably was a good thing because, although I hadn't given a direct order to stay away from the cottage and the main house, she knew I didn't want anyone within 10 miles of the place.

Still, I found myself wanting to know more. Could she be right? Could I get the answers that I wanted tonight?

"She didn't see you did she? Did Edward know you were there?" I was trying to sound angry, but I think that hopeful is what came out of my mouth.

"Well I was getting ready to leave when Emmett came out of the house and whispered for me to stop. He came over and told me to pass you a message." She stopped to take a long drink of her Dr. Pepper and looked into the fire not saying anything for about two minutes. Finally I couldn't take it anymore.

"And…" Now I was angry.

She smiled and looked at me. "Emmett said that you should come to the house as soon as you can. Edward wants to talk to you and Alice needs our help with the party. Don't ask me anymore because that is all I know and I am not going to turn into your personal carrier pigeon."

I stood quickly and was trying to figure out what to do first. I looked at the fire and the camping mess we had scattered all about. Oh yeah, we were more human on this outing than normal.

"Quil, Embry, get everything picked up and take all this stuff back to my garage. I'll deal with it later. Then go to my room and grab some clean clothes for me; something semi nice. Ask Rachel to help you. Then meet us at the Cullen's. Leah, you should go home and try to look as much like a girl as possible." She shot me a dirty look. "Then get over there too. Seth, you come with me."

"Hey sis, could you bring me some clothes too please?" Seth asked Leah as we started running towards the trees, stripping off our clothes getting ready to phase. Before she could answer, we had phased and were running at top speed.

_I think tonight is going to be your night Jake. I have a good feeling._ Seth was a good kid. I was lucky to have him in my pack. He had always been the one who understood the most. _You two are just meant to be._

I chuckled a little. _Hey Seth, no chick flick moments. I just consider myself lucky to be a part of her life anyway she wants me._ Well at least that is what I was saying; my heart would have had a completely different answer. Despite my better judgment, we ran by the cottage on the way to the main house. I just needed to smell her. To maybe catch a glimpse. We stayed hidden by the trees and I could hear that beautiful music that always helped her sleep drifting from the house. I walked a little closer, and that is when I realized that Seth had phased and was standing beside me.

"Wait here" he whispered. Staying low he quickly ran across the lawn and under the front windows. I phase and got dressed. He very slowly rose and peeked in the window and then ran back to me again.

"She's sleeping on the couch. Go get your fix man." He smiled and patted me on the back. Great, now I have resorted to being a peeping Tom. But I just needed to see her; just a little something to tide me over until I could look into her eyes. I walked as quickly as I could and pressed myself up against the side of the house. I turned and instantly saw her; my Angel, my whole world, peacefully snoozing away. I could have stayed there looking at her forever. I realized that if need be I could live with just having this. I was getting ready to walk back to the trees when she sighed and rolled onto her side facing me. I could see one single tear resting on her cheek. I wanted so badly to go to her. But I had told her that I wouldn't see her until tonight. I didn't want to seem like some stalker. But then again I was getting my fix, just like the kid said. She suddenly sighed again, deeper and started talking. I was always please that Bella had passed my Nessie that trait.

"Come home Jake. Come home to me." She frowned and took a ragged breath, as I watched her slide deeper into her dreams. My heart almost broke through my chest. I watched her for one more minute and deeply inhaled her into my lungs. I would force myself to make do with that until tonight. I wanted this night to be a new beginning for us; her words gave me hope that that was exactly what it would be.

I quickly ran back to Seth. The smile on my face must have been a good indication of my mood. He grinned even wider and grabbed my arm.

"Well you look better. Did you get enough?" He let out a short quiet laugh.

"Not even close." I patted him on the back in appreciation and we started running towards the main house, not phasing this time. We ran through the creek, mostly because it was fun, but also, I wasn't in the mood for Blondie's crude remarks; might as well try to tone any offensive smell down a little. As we came to the yard, I saw Emmett swinging from the branches of the large cedars, stringing twinkle lights. Jasper was feeding them to him, making sure that they didn't get tangled. I had that job last time, and was very thankful that I missed out this time around. Bella was arranging flowers on all the tables that were perfectly spaced in the yard. Edward was standing over the stereo in the living room, organizing the music for the evening. I hated that damn stereo. I could never get the thing to work. I swear you needed to go to college just to figure out how to hit play. I could hear Blondie and Esme in the kitchen. Carlisle must have been around somewhere, but I didn't see him and Alice was a blur as she kept everyone on schedule.

Seth and I shook off the excess water from our run through the creek and headed in the house. Rosalie came out of the kitchen as we were walking in. I was hoping she would just say want she wanted and get it out of her system. I was too nervous to deal with her crap.

"I thought I smelled wet dog. It was so nice not having you around. We finally got the house aired out. Planning on going away again anytime soon?" She wrinkled her nose up, looking at me with a mixture of hope and disgust.

"Not if I can help it. Sorry to burst your bubble." I turned my back on her and walked towards the living room. I might as well get the part that scared me the most out of the way.

Alice came at me as a blur, blocking my path. "Where is everyone else? We have a lot to do you know!"

Crazy little pixie; she had more energy than anything I had ever seen before.

"They are on their way. Put Seth to work now, and I'll be with you in a minute. I need to talk to Edward." I gently picked her up and half turned, placing her in front of Seth, and then continued into the living room.

"Hello Jacob." Edward didn't look up from his task, but his voice didn't sound like I was headed for my execution, so I guess that was a good sign. "How was your week? I hope that you were able to find some of the answers you needed." He then turned to face me and suddenly I was very nervous. For the first time I didn't see him as Edward, I saw him as the father of the woman I loved. I felt like I was going to puke. I stopped and kept a distance between us, just in case.

"Well, I already knew how I felt. The real question is how is Nessie? I hope that I gave her enough time to figure out how she is feeling, or at least a good start." I wanted the answer. That is what I kept telling myself. Part of me wanted to tell him to lie to me if it was bad news. No I wanted the answer. I guess because of past experiences my mind seemed to always go to the dark side of things.

Edward walked towards the large white couch and motioned for me to join him. We sat as far from each other as possible. He half smiled as I was sure he was reading my thoughts and how negative they were. He shook his head slowly and looked down. "You really have no idea how similar you two are. Everyone around both of you can see how much you two love each other and yet in each of your minds you are both expecting rejection and heartbreak. I will admit, that this time away was a good idea, but you really only had to be away for a day Jacob. Her mind was made up after that first night. It wasn't that she was indecisive about you before, it was just that with your absence came her true need for you. I could see how much of her was missing when you were way, and she felt it acutely." He continued looking down now and I knew this was hard for him. Part of him probably wished that the outcome would have been different.

He chuckled lightly as he read my thoughts and looked at me, his eyes intense. "Only a very small part." His mouth smiled, but his eyes told me that I had better pay attention to what he was about to say. "I know that this path the two of you are starting on is inevitable, I will not stand it the way of the two of you sharing a life. I just ask that you continue to have respect for Bella's and my feelings as you proceed. I will expect you to help Renesmee proceed with maturity and dignity. Aside for Bella, Nessie is the most precious thing in this world to me. I will not stand silently by if I see your relationship head in a direction that is anything less than honorable. It will be a tall order. You know how impetuous she can be and stubborn." He looked out the window at Bella who was laughing at Emmett who had gotten himself tangled between the lights and a branch. "She is so like Bella when I met her. It took every ounce of strength I had to keep her best interest in mind. I am sure you remember that she never really gave much thought to what was best. All she really knew was what she wanted and she would do anything in her power to get it. I am sorry to say, but I think that you will have your hands full with Renesmee. She is so much like Bella." His voice seemed like he was lost somewhere in the past. He then looked back at me and smiled slightly. "But you probably know that just as much as I do."

I was finally able to breathe. He had actually just given me his blessing and told me that Nessie loved me? I wanted jump up and run to her. Wrap her in my arms. I wanted her to know how much I loved her. I looked back at Edward's face as it started to look like he was in pain. I quickly decided to drop where my thoughts were going. Nessie's father, not Edward. I kept repeating that in my head. And he smiled slightly.

"Don't forget that for one second Jake." He patted me on the back as he stood.

I was so damn happy.

The rest of my pack entered then looking pretty spiffy. I was pleased. I wanted to make a good impression tonight. Not that anyone would really care, but this was my Nessie's Birthday party. Embry handed me a bag with some clothes as Alice and Seth quickly entered the room. Leah gave Seth his clothes, well threw his clothes at him I should say. At least she looked a little better, even if her attitude hadn't improved. Alice looked at Seth and me like she was about to slap us.

"You two go take showers and get cleaned up. You three come with me." She pushed Seth and me towards the stairs and led the rest of the pack outside. Seth followed me upstairs. He took the bathroom on the second floor and I went up to the third. I have to be honest and say I don't even remember taking a shower. My mind was in a daze. She loved me. I would get to have my Nessie.

I quickly dressed and came downstairs. Everyone was in the living room. My pack was in the back of the room, all of them giggling and looking at the floor. That is when I really got a good look at the rest of the people in the room. Bella and Edward were sitting together on the long couch. He had his arm around her, holding her close and they were whispering to each other. He looked almost peaceful, but Bella looked at me with so much sympathy, I started to wonder who had died. Carlisle and Esme were standing behind the couch. They were also looking at me like we were about to attend a funeral and not a party. Then I saw the four of them. I suddenly wondered when my life became a Godfather Movie. Emmett, Blondie, Jasper and Alice all stood in a line, their arms crossed in front of their chests. Jasper was the first to speak.

"Well Jacob, we hear that you are intending to make your feelings known to our niece this evening. While we all like you and consider you family." Blondie cleared her throat and shot Jasper a dirty look. "Well most of us do. We need to get a few things out in the open, so you know exactly what we expect from you."

Alice quickly winked at me and then got a stern look on her face as she turned back to my pack. "Seth. Embry. You two go and fetch Renesmee. Only take her as far as the creek. Don't let her peek. Leah, you and Quil finish the lights." They all stood there looking between her and me. I nodded my head and they all took off to perform their orders. She looked back at me and mouthed a thank you as Jasper cleared his throat.

Emmett walked towards me and stood about two feet from me. He gave me a look that if I didn't know him so well would probably have made me pee my pants. "That girl is like a daughter to all of us. I speak for all of us here when I say, if you cause her any pain, of any kind, we will tie you in the yard and beat you regularly dog." After a few second, although it kind of seemed like hours, Emmett flashed a huge smile and gave me a hug. "Welcome to the family Jake." He slapped my back as he was hugging me and I swear he left a mark. The rest of them were surrounding me now and giving me hugs and they seemed happy. Well everyone but Blondie. She just stood back shaking her head mumbling "She could have done so much better."

Alice quickly got us back on track. I went out to help Leah and Quil with the lights. Alice walked up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder.

"Jake, I'll leave it up to you. Do you want to see Nessie when she gets here, or do you want to wait until I'm finished with her?" She flashed me a smile that made me think maybe she was more devil than pixie.

"Really Alice, what do you think?" Like she really had to ask. The quicker I saw her, the sooner my life truly started.

Alice smiled. "Ok, when they get here, I'll run over and blind fold her. Then you sneak up and carry her into the house." She clapped her hands together and jumped up and down. I was beginning to think that she was more excited than I was.

"We're here!" I heard Seth yell from the tree line. My stomach lurched. I'd have her in my arms soon. I looked to Alice quickly as she whispered to me, "Wait here", and quickly jumped across the creek.

I yelled, "Keep her there. No peeking Nessie." I was ready to run as soon as Alice gave me the go ahead.


	3. Chapter 3

I do not own these characters they belong to Stephanie Meyers

3. Close Your Eyes and Make a Wish

Renesmee

As soon as Aunt Alice secured the blindfold on me two thoughts hit me at the same time. The first was I was going to see Jake, and the second was that I really should have hunted. I realized that I had been so consumed by Jake's absence that I had not comprehended how badly I needed to feed. Because I am half human, my thirst hits me differently than the rest of my family. Grandpa said that if it wasn't for the vampire in me, I would have blood sugar issues. Without warning, my body started to have a mind of its own.

I felt Aunt Alice run away, the breeze from her leaving seemed to knock me backwards. The small amount of light that entered on the edges of my blindfold started to disappear and my legs gave out. I then heard Seth, but it sounded like he was by the house and not standing beside me.

"Nessie?" There was panic in his voice. I grabbed his hand as I started to descend into darkness. He shouted out what I was telling him with my gift. His voice was a perfect mirror of the panic that I passed to him. "JAKE!" My legs completely failed me and I was lost in a sea of black ink.

When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in a sea of ink but of panic and commotion. Everyone was talking at once and my poor Grandfather was standing next to me with his eyes closed trying to concentrate. No one was looking at me though. I quickly grabbed the closest hand to me, and when I did the warmth told me immediately whose it was.

I sent a thought through to Jacob that I was awake and I was fine. He quickly looked at me and roughly kissed my forehead.

"Nessie, are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?" I looked at him and smiled trying to calm him. By this time I realized I was in my Grandparents' living room laid out on their couch. Everyone had circled around it when Jake called my name and they were waiting for my response.

"I'm fine. I just haven't hunted in a while. I really shouldn't have waited so long." I went to set up; big mistake, because as I did the ink quickly returned to my vision and I was out again.

This time when I woke, I was warm and I felt completely at ease. It was quiet. I slowly opened my eyes. When I looked up I was in Jacob's arms and he was looking down at me. Worry and love covering his face. His hand gently brushed my cheek and his eyes didn't leave mine.

"Doc?" He didn't say it above a whisper, but my Grandfather was at my side immediately. I looked over at him and saw my parents' worried faces behind his.

"Nessie, how long has it been since you've hunted?" My Grandfather was calm. But I suddenly was afraid to answer. The last time I had one of these fits was when I was about 12 and I had only gone a week. Everyone was so upset and kept me on such a strict schedule that I had almost switched to human food just to have some freedom in my eating habits. How would they all react when I told them it had been almost two weeks this time?

I didn't answer and looked down to the floor. It was Jake that broke the silence.

"Well I know she went not last Saturday, but the one before because I went with her. When did you go this week Ness?" He was calm and I knew that as soon as I answered him that would go right out the window.

I didn't answer and continued to look at the floor. I heard my father huff loudly as my answer came into my head.

"What?" Jacob was looking at my father now. I looked up at Dad too and he was just shaking his head at me. "Renesmee, do you mean to tell me that you haven't hunted in almost two weeks? What the hell were you thinking?" Jake's angry tone took me off guard. I quickly looked at him and then looked back at the floor as I started to cry. He never used my full name unless he was really angry with me, and that had only happened a handful of times in my whole life.

Grandpa stroked my hair, trying to calm me. "We have some blood here. Let me get you some and it should hold you over for tonight, but you are to feed first thing in the morning and then every four days after that for a while." He quickly walked out of the room.

Jacob didn't say anything, but I felt his arms tighten around me. My Mom kneeled down in front of me. "Nessie, honey, why didn't you hunting this week?" She stroked my hair as she spoke to me. I just continued to cry and I didn't want to answer her. I was so afraid that they would try to keep me away from Jacob if they knew while he was gone it took every ounce of strength I had to keep functioning at all.

"You need to take better care of yourself Renesmee. Please don't do this again." Of course my father heard my explanation in my thoughts and he would explain to my Mom later. Grandpa returned with a large metal cup with a bendy straw sticking out of the top. Dad put a hand on his and Mom's shoulders. "Why don't we give these two some privacy?" Grandpa handed Jake the cup and Dad led them out of the room as I continued to cry. I was so afraid of what Jacob would say to me when we were alone. Here I thought he would be looking at me as a woman, and how could he look at me now as anything other than a child who couldn't take care of herself?

He shifted me in his arms so that I was setting more upright. He held the cup up to me. I set there for a moment and just looked at it. I was suddenly reminded of a time when I was about four. Jake had tried to get me to drink milk and I had refused. I sat on his lap for about two hours and we argued until he finally gave up and stormed out of the room. The memory of this made my embarrassment even more profound.

"Nessie you need to drink." His voice sounded angry and I was afraid to look at him. I was afraid of what I would see when I met his eyes. "Please." I took the cup from him and took a small sip. I didn't truly realize how thirsty I was until I had my first taste. I still only took small sips though, trying not seems like I had pushed myself too far. He didn't speak to me again until after the straw made the sound of sucking air. He took the cup from me and set it on the end table.

I took a deep ragged breath and finally turned to look at him. I was expecting the look he used to give me when I would go out and jump in a puddle or hide from him while we were alone in the woods. Instead I was met with mixture of fear, sadness, anger and love all converged in his eyes.

"Why didn't you hunt Nessie? What have you been doing all week?" He spoke softly. I wondered if he figured that this was a better approach to getting an answer from me.

I couldn't speak because I knew if I did I would start crying again. Instead I put my hand on the side of his neck. I showed him how I felt during our last hunt together, then how I felt as he waved goodbye to me last week. Then I showed him how I felt while he was gone. I wanted to convey to him how life just didn't seem to work right without him. He quickly closed his eyes and I saw a tear run down his cheek.

"God I am such an idiot." He mumbled this under his breath and immediately my mind went to my worst fear. All I could think those words to mean was he thought he was an idiot to even consider me anything other than a child.

I quickly moved from his lap and was standing in front of him before he could protest. My head felt like it was about 5 seconds behind my body and I swayed slightly. Jacob's eyes popped open and he reached for me. I started to cry and quickly took a step back. I was scared and confused. All I kept thinking was how I had messed everything up; how I wasn't even worthy to be standing there. I was a burden. I was an obligation that he had no choice but to take on.

As I took another step back, my balance escaped me. I started to sway again, but before I knew what was happening, Jake had leaned forward and took a hold of my arms, gently lifting me back to his lap.

"Wait Nessie, please just let me explain. I am an idiot for staying away from you. The whole time I was gone, I was feeling the same way. I just didn't take into consideration how you would react. I just thought that you would just go on and do what you always did. I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I'm sorry that I'm the reason you got sick." He looked down at the ground and another tear rolled down his cheek.

I put my hand on his neck and tried to comfort him. It didn't seem to be helping, so I moved my hand to his chin and lifted his eyes to mine. "It is not your fault that I didn't go hunting. It is not your fault that I missed you so much while you were away. The only thing that I want you to accept is…" I paused for a second. I was ready to tell him this, but was he really ready to hear it? This was not how I wanted to do this, but the time was now and I'd just let the chips fall where they may. "I love you. I am in love with you." I looked down, afraid of anything negative I might see in his eyes.

Jake quickly placed one hand under my knees and one behind my head. He gently moved me so that I was reclined in his arms, across his lap, looking up at him. I looked back into his eyes and I saw my future. He leaned down to me and with his hand brought my head up to meet his. His warm lips met mine and I moved my hands placing one behind his head to hold him to me and the other on his neck to show him all the things I wanted to say to him. I have no idea how long we kissed for. One second it seemed like just that, seconds, the next it seemed like days. We were finally brought back to reality by someone clearing their throat.

Aunt Alice stood by the couch, another metal cup and straw in her hand. She had a big smile on her face. "Well lovebirds we still have a party to get ready for. Jake, go outside and get to work. You come with me birthday girl." I didn't want to leave my blissful state, but we both knew that there was no fighting Aunt Alice.

Jake kissed me one more time and whispered "I love you", before Aunt Alice swooped me into her arms and ran me up the stairs.

In less than five seconds she was setting me in the beautician's chair in front of her huge vanity mirrors. She handed me my cup of blood and kissed me on the cheek. She dashed out of the room and then back in holding a white garment bag.

"You are looking much better. I don't know if it is the blood or Jacob, but whatever it is, it is working." She clapped her hands together and then started the process of my transformation. I finished the second glass of blood just as Grandpa brought me a third and checked to see how I was doing. I was feeling back to normal. Well that is not true. This new normal was so much better. After I finished my third glass, I closed my eyes and drifted in a kind of limbo. I felt Aunt Alice as she worked on my makeup and hair, but in my mind I was back in Jacob's arms.

The next thing I knew, Aunt Alice was holding my hands and lifting me from the chair. I opened my eyes as she unzipped the garment bag. From the unassuming white bag, she lifted the most beautiful dress I had ever seen. It reminded me of a flapper dress from the 1920's but instead of fringe, the ivory shell of the dress was covered in small teardrop crystals. When the light from the mirrors hit them, they shimmered with every color of the rainbow. I was instantly reminded of my family's skin in the sunlight. As a child I had often voiced my disappointment with the fact that my skin did not react to sunlight the way theirs did. It gave me a lot of freedom to live in the human world, but it often made me feel different from them.

"It's beautiful." I gasped, reaching out and gently running my fingers along the crystals. She handed me a silk, off white bustier and panties and turned her back while I slipped off my dress and replaced my simple cotton undergarments. She turned and motioned for me to raise my arms. Then she gently lowered the dress over my head. She then pulled out a pair of Ivory heals and gently lifted each foot to place the shoes on them.

"Well the shoes fit, so I guess tonight you get to be Cinderella." She giggled as she turned me to the full length mirror behind the door. I didn't even recognize myself. My make-up was put on so that you really couldn't tell I had any on, but my face looked flawless. My hair was pinned back at the sides, revealing my neck, with my copper curls spilling down my back. With only the slightest movement, my dress would change colors as it caught the light. I continued to move gently from side to side as I watched the colors change and listen to the crystals gently hit each other creating the sound of a soft wind chime.

She came behind me and peeked around my shoulder. As always, I could tell she was pleased with herself and was more than satisfied by my reaction.

"I have to go and get ready now, you stay here and I will tell you when to come down." She dashed out of the room and I was alone. I looked at myself and for the first time, I felt as if I was grown. I was a woman. I don't know if it was the dress, turning "18" or moving forward with Jacob. Maybe it was a combination of all three.

As I stood there looking at myself in the mirror, I heard the music start downstairs. I heard the knocks as the people who meant the world to me arrived. I could hear the voices of my Grandpa Charlie and his new wife, who just happened to be Seth and Leah's mother, Sue. I heard Sam and Emily. The voices of Sam and Jacob's packs were a buzz, but I could occasionally pick out individual voices. Then I heard the laugh that made my heard sing. Jake and his Dad, Billy where laughing with my parents about a joke that I obviously had missed the punch line to. There was a light tap on the door and it slowly opened. My Grandfather, Carlisle, was standing in the doorway smiling at me. "I just wanted to check on you one more time before you went downstairs. How are you feeling?" His voice helped soothe the butterflies that were starting to form in my stomach. He walked over to me and put his hand on my cheek. "You have turned into such a beautiful woman Renesmee, both inside and out. You have been such a blessing to all of our lives since the day you were born. Thank you for letting us share your life." He kissed my forehead and then looked into my eyes. "You seem to be doing better. But you are to hunt tomorrow young lady. Doctor and Grandpa's orders."

"I am doing much better." I put my hand on his and showed him that I was almost back to my old self.

I smiled at him and Aunt Alice stuck her head in the door. "It's time. Come down when you're ready." She grabbed Grandpa's hand and led him out of the room. I took a deep breath, looking at myself in the mirror one more time. I slowly walked to the top of the stairs. As I stepped on the top step, The Way You Look Tonight started to play. I looked over the crowd that had gathered at the bottom of the stairs. I saw them all smiling at me and as I scanned their faces I was overwhelmed by their love. As I slowly descended I saw him. Aunt Alice had gotten to Jake too. He was standing at the base of the stairs, his right arm resting on the banister. He was wearing a black suit with a deep blue shirt. His hair was slicked back into a pony tail. But the best part was the smile he wore just for me. I was three steps from the bottom when he reached out and took my hand. With his warm touch the rest of the room disappeared and it was only him and me. As I stepped off the last step I looked up at him and placed my hand on his neck, replaying the last few minutes. He smiled and leaned down placing his forehead on mine. "You are my heart. You are my home." He whispered as I rose up to my tiptoes to kiss him. He placed his hand on the small of my back and pulled me closer to him. I didn't come back to the reality of the situation until the applause started. Jack slowly ended our kiss, but kept me close to him as I became instantly aware of the others in the room. I looked back to him and put my hand on his cheek. He bent down and whispered in my ear, sending a chill down my spine. "I love you too."

Jake then took my hand and led me into the dining room. Everyone started to sing Happy Birthday to me and he led me around the back of an elegant three tiered cake. It was covered with intricate sugar flowers and bright candles. When the song ended, Jake moved to stand behind me. He put his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his chest. He leaned down and once again gave me chills as he whispered in my ear, "Close your eyes baby and make a wish." I did just that and with his help, blew out the candles


	4. Chapter 4

I do not own these characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyers.

4. That's it. Alice is definitely more Devil than Pixie.

Jacob.

I stood there waiting for my cue. I saw Alice start to jump across the creek and then I heard Edward yell Carlisle's name and a split second later I heard Seth yell from the woods.

"JAKE!"

I took off running, followed closely by Edward. When we got to where they were, Seth was setting on the ground holding Nessie who appeared to be passed out. I froze for a second as Edward ran past me and asked Seth and Embry what had happened.

Seth looked up at me with panic in his eyes. "She was fine. We were just going to take our time to get here, but she wanted to run. She seemed normal and then as soon as Alice left, I felt her wobble and she grabbed my hand. She screamed Jake's name into my head and then it all went black and she passed out."

Embry just stood there looking between Nessie and me. By that time everyone had converged on us. Carlisle was leaning over Nessie and trying to wake her up. "Let's get her back to the house." Carlisle said calmly. I hurried and picked her up, placing her hand on my neck, hoping that she could show me something, but there was nothing but black. I ran as quickly as I could to the house. We all got there at the same time and it almost seemed like a Three Stooges movie as we all tried to get through the door. It would have been funny, if the love of my life wasn't lying motionless in my arms. "MOVE" I yelled as I pushed my way to the couch. I laid her down gently and moved to make room for Carlisle. He checked her pulse and breathing. He then turned to Edward and Bella who looked like they were even paler than usual.

"Has she been feeling ok lately?" He as in Doctor mode and that made me feel a little better.

I looked at them. I suddenly felt like I was completely out of the loop. I had no idea what she had been doing for a whole week. Had she not been feeling well? Was she sleeping? Was she eating? I felt completely worthless. I looked between the two of them, searching for answers.

Edward shook his head. "She hasn't been sleeping very well this week. I think she went hunting a few days ago, or at least that is was she said she was going to do. She seemed fine this morning. Just a little tired."

Bella looked at Edward and nodded in agreement. "She has been a little sad, but that was the situation more than anything." She looked at me kindly, but it didn't help. I had made her sad. I had caused her to lose sleep. I was a big stupid ASS!

At that point all the Cullen's started talking at once. They were comparing notes about what her behavior had been the past week. I looked over to Carlisle who was trying to get as much information from the noise as possible. I looked back and forth for a while hoping for some kind of answer. I didn't even realize Nessie had touched me until she sent me her beautiful voice. _Jacob. I'm fine._ I spun quickly and lost my senses for a moment when she smiled weakly up at me. I was so happy to see her eyes open I didn't even think and leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"Nessie? Are you okay? Do you hurt anywhere?" I wanted her to say something. I needed her to talk so I could know she was ok. Once I knew that, then I would want to know what the hell was going on.

Everyone rushed to surround the couch and it got suddenly very crowded again. Nessie looked at me and smiled weakly.

"I'm fine. I just haven't hunted in a while. I really shouldn't have waited so long." I suddenly remembered back to when she was twelve and had gone a week without eating. Alice had taken her shopping and she passed out on the way home. I was so worried about her. Because of that, and the fact that we all were feeling the same way, we had forced her to hunt almost every day. She got so angry at all of us trying to control when she'd eat that she used to hide from us in the woods. But that couldn't be it, because Edward said she went hunting. There had to be something else wrong.

Nessie lifted herself up to her elbows and when she did, her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out again. I grabbed her hand and again there was nothing but black. She felt cold too. Nessie never felt cold to me. Edward read my thought and touched her.

"She is cold. You're right." He shot worried glances at me, Carlisle and Bella.

I picked her up and set on the couch, holding her in my lap. I looked at Carlisle as he was quietly clearing out the room. He looked back at those of us who remained, Bella, Edward and me. "She probably has just depleted herself by not eating. As soon as she wakes up, we will be able to get her balanced out again. She should be fine." His words seemed to calm Bella and Edward, but I would find no peace until the blackness of her thoughts was gone. I held her hand in mine as she lay in my arms. I wanted to know the second she started to come back around. Slowly, in her thoughts there were flickers of white. I held her hand tighter as I watched her eyes flutter. I don't think I blinked once as I waited for her eyes to open. When they did, I felt a hell of a lot better. I was afraid to look away from her; afraid that if I did, she would pass out again.

"Doc?" I said softly, trying to get Carlisle's attention. I knew that she must have been a little out of it too and I didn't want to scare her by letting my panic come through in my voice.

Carlisle knelt down beside her using his best bedside manner. "Nessie, how long has it been since you've hunted?" As he was asking the question, Nessie quickly removed her hand from mine. She didn't answer him and looked to the floor. I looked over at Edward and Bella who were standing behind Carlisle. I kept watching Edward for some kind of an answer, but he looked as confused as I did. I thought maybe I could help everyone remember if I volunteered the last time I knew she had gone hunting with me.

"Well I know she went not last Saturday, but the one before because I went with her. When did you go this week Ness?" I waited for her to answer, but she continued to look at the floor. The way she was acting reminded me of when she used to throw a temper tantrum as a kid. She would have her screaming fits the first few years, but as she got older, it was always the silent treatment. It used to drive me nuts.

I looked over to Edward, trying to get an answer from him. His face slowly went from worry to anger as I knew he received some information from her that she didn't want to share with the rest of us. He let out a loud huff and closed his eyes. I hoped that I wasn't the only one without super doper mind powers who was frustrated by the silence. I quickly looked at Bella as she was staring at Edward, waiting for an answer as well. Finally I just couldn't take it anymore.

"What?" I asked looking at Edward. He opened his eyes and looked down at Nessie and quickly up to me. His face was a mixture of worry, anger and sympathy. I knew immediately what he was trying to convey to me. I was instantly pissed. Not at Nessie, but at myself. Unfortunately, the tone of my voice kind of made it seems like my anger was aimed in a different direction. "Renesmee do you mean to tell me that you haven't hunted in almost two weeks?" As I was saying the words, my anger had another target besides myself. I was pissed at Edward and Bella. I had expected them to take care of her while I was away. What kind of people let their child make herself sick? Edward winced at my thoughts as I could tell he was thinking the same thing. I looked quickly between the two of them. "What the hell are you thinking?" And then my gaze went back to Nessie.

Nessie looked up at me and I could tell she was starting to cry. She looked back down to the floor as Carlisle's calm voice broke the tension in the room. He was talking, but I didn't hear a word he said, and only realized he was done talking when Carlisle left towards the kitchen.

The realization that my need for answers, my impatience had put Nessie in danger, just about ripped my heart out. She seemed so small and fragile in my arms, even though I knew she was practically indestructible. My arms tighten around her, as if I was afraid of her being taken from me. I felt she was still crying and I looked up to Bella as if wishing her to make it stop. Bella lowered herself beside the couch and tried to calm Nessie and get answers at the same time.

"Nessie honey, why didn't you hunt this week?" Bella looked up at me with sympathy as the silence continued. We both looked over to Edward to see if he could get her to talk. I passed a thought to him that it wasn't fair that he knew answers we didn't. He looked back at me, his eyes showing his concern, but I knew he wouldn't spill anything she didn't want me to know.

"You need to take better care of yourself Renesmee. Please don't do this again." He was in full Dad mode and I instantly had memories of all the times over the years that I had heard those exact words come out of his mouth with different degrees of anger and concern. Today, it was all concern. Just then Doc came back in the room carrying the all too familiar metal cup. I remembered that cup well. I sent Edward a thought, asking him if I could please talk to Nessie in private.

"Why don't we give these two some privacy?" He put his hands on Doc's and Bella's shoulders. I put my hand out and took the cup from Carlisle and Edward led them out of the room. Nessie was still looking at the floor and the seconds seemed like hours. I knew that no progress would be made in my search for answers until I got some food in her. I shifted her body so that she was more upright. She continued to stare at some invisible mark on the floor. I wanted her to look at me, but I wasn't going to force her to. I was still pissed at myself. I had been very selfish this past week. I can't believe that I had actually wished for her to be having as difficult of a time as I was. What kind of monster was I?

I wanted her to drink so I moved the cup in front of her face. She just sat there and made no effort to take it. I refused for this to be the milk fiasco all over again. I was trying to calm down my fear and the anger I was feeling, but I spoke before I could get myself in check.

"Nessie you need to drink." As soon as I spoke, I knew that it came out a lot more stern than I wanted. I felt her move away from me slightly and took a quick breath before I spoke again. "Please" That was better.

She gently took the cup from me and took a small drink. I waited patiently as she continued to take small sips. I knew her well enough by now that she was doing this deliberately. She was trying to make it seem like she wasn't as thirsty as she was. Relief washed over me as I heard the straw suck nothing but air. I took the cup from her and set it on the end table. She still was not looking at me, but my love for her was overwhelming. I needed to know what had happened. I needed to try to make it better. I made myself as calm as possible before I spoke.

"Why didn't you hunt Nessie? What have you been doing all week?" I was happy that I was able to speak as softly as I did. I wanted to scream. I wanted answers. I was scared and I felt like a big jerk.

She slowly turned to look at me. She looked so beautiful, my angel, but I could tell that she was not done crying yet. She stared deeply into my eyes and sighed. She slowly put her small hand on my neck. I instantly saw our last hunting trip. She passed images of us running and laughing. Her laughing at me when I had been goofing around wiggling my butt before I took down a big buck. The emotions she shared, her emotions were blissful. Peaceful. I remembered what I had felt that day, and when my own feelings combined with hers it was better than any drug could be. I wanted more, but her vision changed. She then showed me standing on the edge of the trees by the cottage. My stomach knotted while I saw myself wave at her. When I stepped into the trees, I gasped as I felt a crack in my chest. Oh God, I thought. That is what she felt when I left. She then showed me a collage of images and I was sent waves of fear, sadness, confusion, more sadness. As the images of her time while I was away continued, Edward looking sympathetic and angry, Bella taking Nessie's hand and wiping a tear away, Nessie looking in the mirror and how exhaustion and sadness painted her expression. Suddenly I realized that it felt like my whole chest was being ripped open. The pain almost took my breath away. I had made her feel this pain. I had forced her to suffer a week of torture. I closed my eyes and the disgust I had for myself made me want to heave. I felt the tears in my eyes, but tried to fight them because I didn't want to cause her anymore pain and I knew that this amazing creature in my arms would willingly take any of my pain and turn it into her own. One tear broke ranks and I felt it make its way down my cheek. "God I am such an idiot." I spoke in a whisper, but as soon as I did, I realized I should have just kept the thought to myself. Before I could protest, Nessie jumped out of my arms and was standing in front of me. The pain in her eyes poured salt in my gaping chest wound her visions had caused me…No that I had caused, all me. She swayed slightly and I was afraid that she would pass out again. The rejection I saw in her eyes was like a slap across the face. But she wasn't rejecting me; she had a look like I had rejected her. Oh crap. I needed to fix it, now.

She took another small step back as she started to cry again. When she did, I saw her falter. She was going to fall down. She was still close enough to me that I was able to lean forward and grab her arms to keep her from hurting herself. As soon as I touched her though, I knew that wasn't enough. I needed her in my arms. I needed to make this, us, better. This day had gotten so messed up. Well I guess that I could never be confused with Prince Charming.

I gently lifted her back to me. Placing her in my lap and having her close made everything seem so much more fragile. I could see clearly what I had to lose. I needed her to understand. I needed to fix it.

"Wait Nessie, please just let me explain. I am an idiot for staying away from you. The whole time I was gone, I was feeling the same way. I just didn't take into consideration how you would react. I just thought that you would just go on and do what you always did. I'm sorry that I made you feel that way. I'm sorry that I'm the reason you got sick." All I wanted to do was to make her happy. I wanted to make her safe. The fact that I had put her in danger was like a 2x4 hitting me in the back of the head. Another tear broke ranks and ran down my cheek.

I couldn't look at her. I just looked at the floor. I felt her hand on my cheek. _Shh. I'm fine. Everything is fine. Shh. You're home now. We're together. Shh. _Her sweet words in my head only made it more clear to me how much I didn't deserve her.

When I still didn't look at her, I heard her sigh and she put her small hand on my chin and raised my eyes to meet hers. When she spoke, her voice sent a shiver down my spine.

"It is not your fault that I didn't go hunting. It is not your fault that I missed you so much while you were away. The only thing that I want you to accept is…" She paused. I wanted the truth. If this was too much for her I could wait. I would wait forever. I watched her closely as I saw her make up her mind about something. It was a look I knew well. I had had a lot of experience with that look. When that determination came across in her eyes, her mind was made up and there was no changing it. My stomach did a flip. She locked her eyes on mine and her lips slowly parted as she got ready to speak.

"I love you, and I am in love with you." She said the words slowly, but when she had finished, she quickly looked down. That was all I needed to hear. I wanted to show her how I felt. I needed her to know that she was the woman I loved. I put one arm under her knees, and one hand behind her head. I moved her so she was reclined in my arm and so that she had no choice but to look at me. Neither of us blinked as I slowly lowered my head and raised hers. I felt her breath catch as I got closer. When my lips met hers I felt every piece of my life click into place. The past, all the pain over the years, the awkwardness, it all had a purpose. It brought me to Renesmee.

I felt her hand move through my hair, holding me to her. Then as I kissed her, she showed me our past and our future. All the special moments that brought our love to this point. Then she showed me her standing in front of me in a white dress; an angel that was all mine. Then my sweet angel's thoughts got, well…She showed me images of us wrapped in each other's arms, surrounded by glowing candles. I was kissing her neck, kissing my way down her body. As the images got more explicit, it was hard for me to remember where we were in reality. I had promised Edward that I would do this with honor, but Nessie was not going to make this easy. Part of me wanted to just carry her out of the house, take her back to my house and show her exactly how much I loved her, but no, I had waited this long, I would do this right.

I felt a mixture of relief and annoyance when someone cleared their throat. I looked up to see Alice standing there with a huge smile on her little face. Nessie and I both blushed, but she didn't seem fazed at all.

She told us it was time for us to get ready for the party. I could tell that she didn't want to go any more than I did, but we both knew that Alice would just stand there and be a pain in the ass until she got her way.

I leaned forward and kissed her one more time. "I love you". Alice swooped in and lifted Nessie out of my arms. In a flash they were up the stairs. I stood up and started to walk outside to see what else needed to be done. Before I could get to the door, Jasper was standing in front of me looking smug. I felt very calm suddenly though and I knew that he must be on a mission from that little Devil of his.

"Oh no you don't Jake. You are coming with me. Alice told me I am to make you look presentable." He gently patted me on the back and gestured for me to go upstairs. We walked all the way to the third floor into Edward's old room. He handed me a garment bag and black dress shoes. "I'll be back in a minute." He said as he closed the door. I unzipped the bag and took out a really sharp looking black suit. I had never had a suit this nice in my life. I didn't see a tie, so than made me feel better. I looked closer at the shoes. In the left shoe was a new pair of underwear; in the right a pair of black socks. I quickly undress out of my inferior clothes and carefully put on the suit. There was a knock on the door and Jasper slowly opened it and stepped in followed by Esme.

"Would you mind if I fixed your hair Jacob?" She asked sweetly. "Renesmee has always said she loves it when your hair is pulled back." I set down in the desk chair and smiled at her.

"Work your magic." I said with a chuckle. I was starting to get nervous for tonight. I don't know why. The hard stuff was over. All the uncertainty was gone. But this would be our first "public" outing. I still had my Dad and Charlie to deal with. Dad wasn't really a problem. Charlie was a completely different story. I was just glad he wouldn't be bringing his gun tonight. I felt a wave of calm come over me. I looked over at Jasper and smiled. "Thanks. Would you mind working your mojo on Charlie tonight so he doesn't kill me?"

Jasper smiled "Not a problem. What is family for?" Family. Who would have ever imagined that I would consider bloodsuckers family? But I did.

Esme gently patted my shoulder. "You're done. Why don't we go downstairs and relax a little before everyone gets here." I stood and she placed her arm through mine. She was a very special lady and I liked her a lot. She reminded me a lot of my mom. When we got to the bottom of the stairs Edward and Bella were on the couch smiling at me. Emmett and Blondie were watching the beginning of the sunset. My pack softly wolf whistled at me.

"Looking pretty sharp Jake." Seth smiled.

Leah rolled her eyes. "Well at least it is a slight improvement."

I turned just as Alice stopped in front of me. She looked up at me and then slowly looked me over from head to toe. She motioned for me to bend down as if she wanted to tell me a secret. I did and she quickly pecked me on the cheek. "Much better." She giggled. She grabbed my face and leaned into me to whisper in my ear. "She looks absolutely gorgeous, so if you want to keep your head, be sure you control your thoughts so Edward doesn't kill you." She giggled and I heard Edward growl. I looked over to him and shook my head. _I will do my best. You have my permission to smack me lightly in the head if I get off track. _

"Just remember you gave me permission." He smiled at me, and for once there was no pain in his eyes when he looked at me regarding this subject.

Bella looked at him with disapproval. "Permission to do what?" She asked skeptical of what had passed between us.

Edward leaned over and gently kissed her. Then he got a huge smile on his face. "I get to hit Jacob in the head anytime he thinks something inappropriate tonight."

The room broke into laughter and Emmett came over to me smiling and shaking his head. "Good thing you heal fast kid. Let just hope your head is still attached by the end of the evening." He patted me on the back and headed into the kitchen.

"Keep him occupied for me Bells will ya?" I was hoping that she could help me out a little.

"No problem Jake." She smiled and leaned over giving Edward a long slow kiss.

Alice came back into the room again stating it was party time. Edward got up and started the music. There was a knock at the door as the guests started to arrive.

Sam and Emily were the first one to walk through the door. Hugs and handshakes were exchanged and of course comments on my appearance. The rest of his pack arrived shortly after. Of course Paul and Rachel gave me all kind of grief about being "domesticated". Dad had come with them so I took him off to the side and explained that Nessie and I had taken a step forward in our lives together. He smiled brighter than I think I had ever seen. He gave me a big hug and we rejoined the party. There was another knock and this was the one I was dreading. Charlie and Sue entered. I always felt a little sorry for them in these situations. I knew that they felt out of place, but they were troopers. I gave Sue a hug and shook Charlie's hand. I walked quickly over to Bella and asked if she could be there when I talked to Charlie. I thought maybe she could soften the blow.

"No problem Jake." Edward came with us and we approached Charlie and Billy who were talking about the Seahawks.

"Hey Dad." Bella gave him a big hug and Edward shook Charlie's hand. "Dad, Jake has something he needs to talk to you about and before he does, I want you to know that Edward and I are supportive and happy with what has happened." She smiled at Charlie and then looked at me.

_Crap. _I thought, causing Edward to let out a short laugh. Bella shot him a dirty look and then looked back to me supportively. "Charlie, as you know, over the years I have had a very special relationship with Nessie. Well our relationship has been changing and Nessie and I are going to be building a life together." I looked at him and smiled. Suddenly I became worried as I could tell he stopped breathing. He turned purple and looked quickly between the four of us.

When he finally spoke I was prepared for the screaming to begin, but he shocked the hell out of me. He just quickly nodded his head, stuck his hand out and said, "Welcome to the family Jake." Although I could tell from his tone that there was part of him that really wished he had brought his gun tonight.

"If it makes you feel any better Charlie, Jake gave me permission to cause him pain if he gets out of line."

"Actually that does make me feel better Edward. Thanks" We all laughed and Charlie walked back to Sue shaking his head.

Alice and Carlisle came down the stairs just then and she grabbed me and told me to wait at the bottom of the stairs for Nessie.

The room got quiet as she started down the stairs. I heard a quiet collection of gasps behind me and then everyone else seemed to disappear. Descending the stairs was my whole reason for living. I had seen Nessie practically every day of her life. I had always thought she was beautiful. There were no words to describe the sight I was seeing. She simmered. She glowed. She held me in the palm of her hand. I would do anything for this woman. I wanted to be the best possible version of myself I could be for her. She smiled at me and I couldn't help but return one to her. As I looked at her, all the visions she had passed through to me earlier came flooding back. I suddenly realized that Alice definitely was more devil than pixie. She was going to give me no option but to give Edward an opportunity to kill me tonight.

As soon as Nessie was close enough, I took her hand. When she was on the bottom step I pulled her to me. She placed her hand on my neck and replayed the past few minutes for me and as she did all I wanted to do was pull her to me and pick back up where we left off when Alice had taken her away for my arms. I pulled her to me and placed my forehead on hers. I wanted her to know that it was more than love that I felt for her. "You are my heart. You are my home." I kissed her slowly and I knew that my life was complete. Suddenly the room erupted in applause. I reluctantly ended our kiss and she looked deep into my eyes, her hand still on my neck. _I love you with all my heart._ She sent it to me and I just wanted to cry. I leaned forward, keeping her close to me and whispered in her ear. "I love you too."

Everyone started singing Happy Birthday and I led her into the dining room to where the huge cake was a blaze. We walked around to stand behind it as the song came to an end. I pulled her close to me and leaned forward. "Close your eyes baby and make a wish." She sent back to me the images from this afternoon and thought _All this and forever too. Help me with the candles._

My heart melted as I knew I would do everything in my power to make all those wishes and more come true.


	5. Chapter 5

I do not own these characters. They belong to Stephanie Meyers.

5. If This Is a Dream, Then Let Me Sleep.

Renesmee

"Present time!" Aunt Alice sung as everyone was finishing their cake. Jacob's hand never left my waist as he led me to the platform where Dad's piano stood. The top of the piano was down and it was covered with so many packages that if the keys hadn't been visible, you wouldn't have been able to tell what it was. Jake moved the bench to the middle of the platform and took my hand to lead me to take a seat. He stood beside me as he handed me package after package.

Seth's package contained an elegant pewter picture frame. In it was a picture of Jake, Seth and me taken on First Beach last summer. Billy, Paul and Rachel gave me a blanket that had belonged to Billy's mother. Billy said "I wanted to keep it in the family" when I opened it. I had to take a deep breath to stop from crying. Grandpa Charlie and Sue gave me a Barnes and Noble gift card and tickets to a Mariner's game. There were four tickets in the envelope and Grandpa Charlie told me they were for me, Jake, Billy and himself. He always had loved the fact that I enjoyed watching sports with him. Of course he didn't have any idea of how the rest of us in the room liked to play baseball. There were earrings and sundresses, CDs and books. I came to a package with no card or indication who it was from. When I opened it, however I knew exactly who had given me this 'gift'. When I removed the lid and pulled back the red tissue paper, I looked immediately at my Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie. The box contained a dog collar and leash. "Thanks guys. Did you intend on us really using this?" I didn't let anyone else see what was in the package and they looked between the two of them and me. When the innuendo sunk into Uncle Emmett, he stopped laughing and looked at the floor. I looked over at my Dad and for the second time today, he looked like he was going to kill his brother. I quickly put the lid on the box before Jake got too curious.

Once the top of the piano was empty, I turned to say thank you to everyone. Jake reached in his pocket and handed me one more small box. I looked up at him the whole time I removed the paper. He looked down at me like he was nervous. But I grabbed his hand before I opened the box, telling him again how much I loved him. When I removed the lid, I gasped. To anyone else's eyes they would have just seen a green rock on a silver chain. To me, the unassuming rock was worth more than all the gemstones in the world.

When I was 8, Jacob had taken me to Second Beach in La Push. It was low tide and I was poking around in the tidal pools. Jake was standing over me, trying to keep me from falling into the water. I remember that it was cold and he kept telling me we should go back before I froze to death. Suddenly something in one of the pools caught my eye. I reached in, farther than I should and went head first into the water. I was able to grab what I wanted as Jake scooped me out. He picked me up and pressed me close to his warm chest. "Are you ok" he kept asking as I coughed out the small amount of water I had inhaled. I started to giggle and he was angry. "You are going to be the death of me Renesmee. I swear you about gave me a heart attack." He held me close and ran me back to his house. He set me on the couch in Billy's living room and ran to get a towel. He had kneeled down in front of me and was drying me off. "What was so damn important that you had to reach in so far?" He looked at me with so much frustration that I almost started to cry.

"Sorry Jake." I tried to smile, but my teeth were chattering.

He pulled me into a big hug. "Please Nessie. You have to be more careful" I remembered his voice trailing off as he tried to warm me up.

"Don't you want to see what I got? It's for you." He had leaned back from me and started to smile. "Close your eyes and put out your hand." I giggle as he stuck his tongue out at me once his eyes were closed. In his hand I place the treasure I had found in the tidal pool. It was a green rock that was shaped like a heart. I leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Open your eyes Jake. Look I gave you my heart." He looked at it for a long time before he gave me a big hug.

"I'll do my best to keep it safe." He had said to me.

I let the memory drift away and stared in awe at the same heart shaped green stone laying in the box in my hands. I started to cry and grabbed Jacob's hand asking him to put it on me. Everyone in the room had a curious expression about my reaction. No one knew what this ordinary rock represented. No one else needed to know.

Jacob gently reached down, grabbed the necklace and placed it around my neck. He kissed my check and whispered "I'm not giving the real one back, but I wanted you to know that I'll keep it safe." I turned to him then and pulled his face to mine. I kissed him like we were the only two people in the world.

"What would she do if you gave her diamonds?" Paul's voice broke our trance. Jake and I laughed as Sam reached over and popped Paul in the back of the head.

My Dad's voice broke through the laughter. "One more present." My Mom and Dad walked over to me. Each of them took one of my hands and guided me to my feet and led me outside. There was a deafening roar that came from the driveway.

"Holy crap!" I heard Seth mutter as the silver and black beast stopped at my feet. The door flung open and Uncle Jasper turned off the key, stepped out and handed it to me.

"You got me a Bugatti Veyron?!" I gasped. Because of my close relationship with Aunt Rosalie, I knew all about cars. Being with Jake didn't hurt matters either. My family all said "Happy Birthday" at the same time.

I then went and hugged everyone, all of my friends and family, thanking them and wishing them all a goodnight as the party started to thin. Jake's pack went into the house to help my Grandparent's with the clean-up. Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rosalie came up to me looking sheepish. Aunt Rosalie wouldn't look at me, but glared at Jake as they approached. Uncle Emmett looked like he would be blushing if he could. "You know it was just a joke right? Our gift?" I quickly looked up to Jacob and he looked confused. I reached up and placed my hand on his neck and showed him what the mystery box had contained. He let out a quiet growl. Then I reminded him what I had said to them I at the time. He let a low chuckle escape. Before I knew what was happening my father was at his side planting a not so gentle blow on the back of Jake's head. This caused my mother and Aunts and Uncles to start laughing.

"Sorry Edward". Jake held me tighter and looked at my father with guilt in his eyes. Why was he apologizing to my father? I realized I must not be in on the joke. I looked up to him for an explanation of what I had missed. He kissed the top of my head and chuckled. "I'll tell you later." He whispered.

The rest of my family drifted into the house leaving Jacob and I alone under a canopy of stars and twinkle lights. The night had turned a little chilly, but I pushed myself closer to Jake's body and it felt like summer. We walked over to the table that was farthest from the house. Jake set down and pulled me into his lap. His arms tightened around me as I nuzzled my face into the side of his neck. We sat in silence. I enjoyed the natural music the night was making. The sound of Jake's and my breath, perfectly synchronized. A light breeze rustling the autumn leaves, one lone frog by the creek, the muted laughter from inside the house. I sat very still, willing myself to commit every detail to memory. I think part of me was afraid that I was only dreaming and I wanted to be able to recall this exact moment so I could return again if I started to wake. I sighed and Jake leaned his head closer to mine.

"Did you have a good birthday Baby?" , his husky voice not over a whisper.

I kissed the side of his neck. "Better than I could have ever imagined., I cooed.

Jake gently shook his head. "It's all about the car isn't it?", his voice sounding disapproving. I hit his chest and he let out a soft chuckle.

"Well to be honest, I really do want one more thing for my birthday." I was trying to sound disappointed.

He shifted me in his arms and pulled me back slightly so he could look at me. I could tell that if I had asked him for a million dollars at that point, he would have run out and robbed a bank for me. His eyes looked eager. "What else did you want Nessie?"

I smiled at him and locked my eyes to his. I slowly wrapped my right arm around his neck and took his soft, shiny black hair down. I ran my hand up through his hair and pulled myself to him. He smiled and his right hand rose up my back, resting at the base of my neck. He gently guided me towards him. Our kiss started slowly, gently. I felt his left hand on small of my back, pulling me to him. We both inhaled at the same time, stealing each other's breath. When we started again, it was more fevered, urgent. Jake gently grabbed my hair, pulling in to give him access to my neck; when his soft, warm lips kissed below my ear, and I felt his breath on my neck something happened deep inside me. A desire that I had only ever seen dimly, rose. I wanted to have no barriers between us. I wanted him to know what his touch did to me. Without even realizing it, I had my hand on his neck and I was sending him the fantasies that were playing in my mind. I heard him groan as he pulled away from me slightly. "Nessie you are going to get me killed." He gasped as I told him I wanted more. I needed more. I pushed him back and started kissing my way across his beautiful face. His eyes were shut and I kissed each of this eyelids, thankful for his kind and gentle soul that was displayed in his onyx eyes. I worked my way down his cheek to his lips. As I slowly kissed him, I gave thanks to all the loving words he had spoken to me. I kissed along his jaw line. I pulled his head to the side as I took his earlobe into my mouth, thankful for his understanding. I sent all these thoughts to him. I slowly started to kiss down his neck. I heard his breath quicken. Part of me kept thinking that I should be nervous. I had never been this intimate with anyone before. Not that I hadn't thought about doing this, and more with Jacob for a while now. Thus the sour mood my father had been in lately. But I wasn't nervous. I wasn't scared. I wanted to give Jake everything and I wanted to feel like every piece of him belonged to me.

Without warning he firmly placed his hands on my shoulders and pulled me away from him. I instantly thought I had done something wrong. Had I bitten him and not realized it? He must have noticed the shock and concern on my face because he moved one hand to my cheek and smiled sweetly. I did notice a little wickedness in his eyes though.

"We need to take a break so I can calm down." He quickly closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes. He opened his eyes again and smiled. "Remember earlier when your Dad hit me in the head?"

"What was that about?" I huffed.

He smiled. "I gave him permission to hit me in the head if I thought anything inappropriate tonight." He looked back towards the house and quickly back to me. "I'm expecting to lose my head any minute now." I leaned forward and gave him a slow kiss. He pulled back and gently poked my nose. "Not helping" he then kissed my forehead.

"Do you think it would be safe if you just held me then?" I lowered myself back to where I had been, with my face buried in his neck.

"To be honest, I don't know if anything we did would keep me safe now." He sighed and pulled me closer. His warm chest under me and his arms around me were better than any blanket. It had been a long and beautiful day. I felt the toll of the events of the day wash over me. I pressed my face even tighter against Jake. My eyelids were heavy and I felt like I was floating.

I sighed "I love you Jake. Don't leave ok?"

I felt him turn his head and kiss my forehead. I was slipping into slumber now so when I heard his voice he sounded far way. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you more than life baby."

If this was a dream, please just let me sleep forever.


	6. Chapter 6

6. Ok, Go Ahead and Kill Me Now, because I'm already in Heaven

Jacob

The box in my pocket felt like it was made of lead. I didn't know if I should give it to her or not. Would she even remember what was inside? I hadn't gotten her anything else though and I didn't want to seem like a jerk. That would look really nice. "I love you baby. By the way, I didn't get you anything for your birthday." I just hope that she doesn't think that is wasn't important to me; that I gave it up so easily. I've held that little green rock every day since she gave it to me. If I hadn't known I'd get to still hold it, only attached to her now, I probably wouldn't have been able to give it up. All I kept thinking was _God I hope she likes it. I hope she understands what it means._

"Present time!" Of course Alice had to keep the evening moving. Couldn't let my potential embarrassment be delayed a little while longer, could she? She gave me a head jerk in the direction of the piano, so that is where I led Nessie. The whole top of the piano was covered with presents. Each one making my tiny box seem even more insignificant.

I moved the piano bench so Nessie would have a place to sit, and then, as Alice had informed me earlier, I was the present fairy. I stood beside my baby and kept as close to her as I could, handing her one present after another.

Seth gave her a picture of the three of us. The two of them looked great; I looked like a goofball. What the hell did Nessie see in me? Dad, Paul and Rachel's present was a blanket that my Grandma Black had made. I knew how much it meant to Dad and the fact he gave it to Nessie, well I guess that he considered her a daughter now. I was so stoked when I saw that Charlie had given us both Mariners' tickets. Nessie was so cute when she watched sports. She would yell louder than anyone else when she disagreed with a call. Recently she had been using some really colorful language. Personally I found it very sexy. Charlie wasn't too happy about it though. He kept telling me I was a bad influence and she needed more girlfriends.

I handed Nessie a rectangular box. It had no card or name on it. I looked around the room to see who it could be from as she opened it. As soon as she took the lid off, she looked over to Emmett and Blondie. Emmett was laughing softly until Nessie spoke. "Thanks guys. Did you intent on us really using this?" She asked as she quickly replaced the lid. I couldn't tell what was inside and she quickly looked at Edward. I looked quickly between him and Emmett and was relieved that it looked like I wasn't the only one in danger of getting his head ripped off by Edward tonight. I just hoped that Nessie would let me in on the joke later.

Before I knew it, the piano was empty. Nessie turned to thank everyone. Now was my time. I quickly took the small box out of my pocket and held it in front of her. She smiled up at me as she unwrapped it. I was so scared that she wouldn't even remember that nothing of a day. She had given me "treasures" almost anytime we were together when she was little. Most I didn't keep, but this green rock was so more for some reason; to me anyway. She grabbed my hand. _I love you, so much. You didn't have to get me anything. You are the best gift I could have imagined._ She put the box in her lap and took the lid off. I heard her gasp and she sent me the memories of that day on Second Beach. She remembered everything. It felt like I was there again. I can't begin to explain what went through my own heart that day when she gave me that small stone. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt that even in the endless life we were all living, I would never be able to show her how much I loved her. Now that feeling was doubled as she sent me the same emotions, her emotions. I felt like my knees would buckle. _Please Jake, put it on me. I'll never take it off. I can't believe you remembered. _She was crying and the rest of the room seemed like they were missing some kind of important information. As I clasped the necklace around her long, elegant neck I leaned forward kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "I'm not giving the real one back, but I wanted you to know that I'll keep it safe." She turned and looked at me. She grabbed me and kissed me like we were alone. I was briefly surprised by how enthusiastic she was, but then everything else went away except the feel of her lips on mine.

We were brought back to reality by my idiot of a Brother In-Law. "What would she do if you gave her diamonds?" Paul just never knew when to keep his mouth shut. Nessie and I both shot him a dirty look, but found ourselves laughing as Sam did me a favor and wacked Paul on the back of the head. Hey at least I didn't feel alone. Everyone seemed to be suffering some kind of head wounds tonight. I was impressed with myself that I had remained unscathed so far, but the evening was still young.

I quickly looked over to Edward and Bella. She winked at me and I realized that the big gift was coming. I had asked Bella before I left on my stupid experiment, what the Family was getting Nessie for her birthday. She had told me she wouldn't say because I couldn't keep a secret. I swear I will never live the stupid motorcycle thing down.

"One more present" Edward's voice rose above the rest of the chatter. They walked over Nessie and grabbed her hands to help her off the bench. I followed close behind them as we walked out the front door. I heard the engine growl before I could even see the headlights.

"Holy Crap." I heard Seth gasp behind me. I quickly turned to look at him. My pack had orders to be on their best behavior tonight. I wanted to remind him of that. When he saw the look on my face he quickly looked down.

I turned my eyes back to the driveway just as the most awesome car I had ever seen came to a sudden stop. I knew immediately what is was and I was prepared to help Nessie realize what she had just been given. Jasper handed Nessie the keys and she seemed to light up from the inside. "You go me a Bugatti Veyron?" She just kept looking back and forth between the car and the keys. I felt a strong twinge of pride. That was my girl and she knew her cars. Yes that was my girl. I was going to have to beg to get to drive the damn thing though. She was a speed demon and when she decided to go, she went as fast as possible. But this was more car than she'd ever handled before. I was going to have to convince her to take it slow. The family all yelled "Happy Birthday" and gave her a big hug.

The party was starting to wind down. Nessie had thanked everyone and we told them all goodnight as they all started to head home. I realized that since the moment that I saw her coming down the stairs tonight that I hadn't felt my feet. I felt like I was floating. I could die right now and my life would seem complete.

I looked up and gave Leah a head jerk towards the house. She grabbed the rest of the pack and went in to clean up. Then I looked forward to see Emmett and Blondie coming our way. He looked like he was guilty and she just kept glaring at me. Oh, that's right, the mystery box. What was in there anyway? Nessie had been very careful not to let me see. Looking at them now, I was more curious than ever.

"You know it was just a joke right, our gift?" Emmett wouldn't look at Nessie or me when he spoke. The suspense was killing me. I looked down at Nessie, hoping for an answer. She looked up at me and smiled a wicked little smile. She placed her hand on my neck and I she sent me an image of a dog collar and leash that were hidden under the red tissue paper of the mystery box. I let a low growl escape. I knew that it had to be Blondie's idea. Nessie then sent me what she had said to them. _"Thanks guys. Did you intent on us really using this?"_ Well my mind quickly went to a place that it shouldn't have. For a split second, I forgot about my agreement with Edward.

A very hard slap on the back of my head, knocked the very pleasant thought from my head and brought me back from the dark side. I started singing Amazing Grace in my head to scour out any remaining images that might send my head rolling across the lawn. "Sorry Edward." I looked over to Edward, but he smiled and the rest of the family laughed. I pulled Nessie closer to my side. She looked up at me confused. I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. "I'll tell you later." I was hoping that I could get through the evening without explaining. She would just be angry with her Dad and I didn't want that.

Everyone else headed towards the house. I just wanted some alone time with my girl. My girl. That sounded so good. I was hoping that Edward wouldn't pay attention too close. I would do my best to behave, but I was a man after all. I felt Nessie shiver slightly, the night had gotten chilly. I held her closer and guided her to the table farthest away from the house for as much privacy as was possible in this freak show we loved and called home. I set down in one of the chairs, facing the creek, and pulled her into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and she pulled herself as close to me as possible. She placed her head on my shoulder and nuzzled into my neck. We just sat there, not saying anything. We didn't need to. There was just peace. All things in the world seemed right and beautiful. I couldn't hear anything except her breathing. She sighed softly and her breath on my neck made me yearn to have her even closer to me. I figured I better say something before I started down the wrong road Edward warned me about.

"Did you have a good birthday Baby?" I whispered.

She nuzzled her face even closer into my neck and kissed me gently. She was not going to make this easy for me at all. "Better than I could have ever imagined." She sighed again, and I figured I had better lighten the mood a little.

"It's all about the car isn't it?" I shook my head in mock disapproval. She quickly jerked her hand back and slapped me on the chest. It stung a little, but it always made me chuckle when she tried to be tough.

She kept her head on my shoulder and sighed again slowly. "Well to be honest, I really do want one more thing for my birthday." She sounded disappointed, and I would have done anything to make her happy.

I shifted her so I could look at her. She was pouting, but I could tell it wasn't real. I had seen her really pout over the years, and this time there was no sadness in her eyes. There was however a mischievous spark in them. I could see the direction this could be going again. I had promised, and I wouldn't do anything that either of us would regret. Maybe I could just dance around the off ramp to that path and not take the exit. I sent Edward a quick thought. _I'm trying. Honestly. Please try to be understanding. Maybe, try not to pay attention._ "What else did you want?"

Nessie smiled at me and locked her eyes to mine. She reached her hand around to my hair and took it down. The yearning and desire in me slowly started to build. She kept her hand in my hair and pulled herself closer to me. I couldn't help but smile. She was the sexiest thing I had ever seen. I slowly moved my hand up her back and placed it on the base of her neck. I needed to have her lips on mine. I needed that connection. I guided her to me and we slowly started to kiss. Gently. Ok, I could be good. This was sweet, romantic. I put my hand on the small of her back and pulled her closer to me. When I did, we both took a breath at the same time, with our lips still connected. Something clicked inside me. All I could think about was how much I wanted her. How much I needed her. We paused for less than a second and when the next kiss came, there was nothing gentle about it. It was full of lust and desire. I ran my hand through her copper curls. I held them tightly in my fist and moved her head to the side. I wanted to taste every inch of her. To show her she was mine; that we belonged to each other. She smelled so good. I started to kiss my way down her neck. Before I made it half way down, Nessie put her hand on my neck. As I kissed her, I saw myself lying with her. Supporting myself above her and kissing my way down her body. The animal in me wanted to come out. I wanted her. I wanted her that way. I needed her that way. She continued to show me image after image; each one more intimate than the last. I felt her drag me down the path I was trying to avoid. Not that I didn't want to go. God knows I wanted to run full speed down that path with her in my arms, but I had promised not just Edward, but myself, that I would be responsible and mature. Oh God, why had I promised? She kept sending me images. I had to stop or there would be no going back. I gently pushed her way, just enough to break the connection. When I did I wanted to pull her right back. "Nessie you are going to get me killed." I was expecting Edward to be behind me any second. _It's her. Not me. I'm trying to be noble here. Remember, you told me I'd have my hands full. _I sent that thought to Edward, mostly hoping he wasn't paying attention, but it never hurt to plead my case.

Nessie looked at me, her beautiful brown eyes seductive. I had never seen that look before. She pushed me farther back in my chair and placed her hand on my neck again. _I want you Jake. All of you._ I closed my eyes as her voice filled my head. _I want to show you how much I love you._ She leaned forward and slowly kissed each of my eyelids. _I love you for your eyes that show what a kind soul you have. _She kissed her way across my cheek slowly and then kissed my lips. It was a strong, deep kiss. _I love you for how your words make me feel._ She moved to my jaw line. As she kissed up my jaw she gently pulled my hair, moving my head to the side. She worked her way over to my ear. Her warm breath made me forget about everything else but her touch. Nessie carefully took my earlobe into her mouth. It felt incredible. _I love you for the way you listen to me and understand who I am._

I didn't think I could be taken off guard any more than I already was. Nessie was being so bold. If I didn't know better, I would have thought she was more experienced than she was. She had never even kissed anyone until this afternoon, but she seemed so natural. There was no hesitation as she started to kiss her way down my neck. _I want to know every inch of you. Love every part of you._ I realized I was breathing faster. God I wanted to just run off with her somewhere private. Somewhere we could give ourselves to each other. Nessie started sending me those sweet, sexy images; one after the other. Desire pulsed through me and she was sending me a double dose through her hand on my neck. I had to get some control back, or I was going to regret the outcome. Not immediately, I am sure, but I knew this was not how we would want our first time together to be.

I quickly placed my hands on Nessie's shoulders and pushed her back from me. She looked at me shocked, but much to my relief not hurt. There was part of me that wanted to start up on her where she left off on me, but I knew I needed to be control myself for the both of us. "We need to take a break so I can cool down." I closed my eyes, so I could gather my resolve. I knew the longer I looked at her beautiful face the harder it would be for me to resist her. I took a few deep breaths before I opened my eyes. When I did, her expression was one of sadness and confusion. I leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek and leaned back to smile at her. I didn't want her to think I was rejecting her. I wanted her to understand the danger I was in from physical harm from her father. I chuckled a little. "Remember earlier when your Dad hit me in the head?"

She half smiled "What was that about?"

I smiled at her, trying to keep her from getting mad. "I gave him permission to hit me in the head if I thought anything inappropriate tonight." I quickly looked back to the house, half expecting Edward to be walking towards me. I then looked back into Nessie's eyes and laughed. "I'm expecting to lose my head any minute now."

She didn't say anything. She just leaned forward and kissed me. Slowly, full of love. I pulled back from her before any reason I had been able to hold onto disappeared. I smiled and gently poked her nose. "Not helping." But she smiled back at me. I knew she understood. She took a deep breath.

"Do you think it would be safe if you just held me then?" She leaned down again, laying across my lap, with her head against my neck. He warm breath keeping the thoughts of that wrong path in the forefront of my mind.

I laughed. "To be honest, I don't know if anything we did would keep me safe now." I pulled her closed to me. I wanted her to be warm. I needed her to feel safe. My heaven wrapped in my arms. My life in this moment was perfect. I felt her breathing change and I knew she was starting to fall asleep. She must have been exhausted. It had been quite a day.

She nuzzled even closer into in my neck. "I love you Jake. Don't leave ok?"

Where in the world did she think I could be going? I had no life if I didn't have her. No reason for my heart to keep beating. I turned and kissed her forehead. "I'm not going anywhere. I love you more than life Baby." She sighed deeply and I felt her slip into sleep. I sat there, listening to her breath. I gently took her hand and in her dreams was the whole day, replayed. I was lost with her, enjoying seeing everything through her eyes.

I heard someone walking up behind me. Seth walked around my chair and smiled down at us. He looked almost as happy for us as I felt. "Hey man. Good night huh?" I could tell that he already knew my answer, but he had been waiting for this day almost as long as I had. That was one of the downfalls of the shared pack mind. We shared each other's concerns, frustrations and desires. The rest of the pack just ignored it, but Seth seemed to be anticipating each step Nessie and I took. Sometime I would tease him that he was the girl of our pack, not Leah.

"Only the best night ever. You guys about done in there?"

He just nodded his head. "Bella told me to tell you to take Nessie up to Edward's old room when you were ready so she could sleep and we could clean up out here."

"I'll be right there."

Seth walked back towards the house. I kissed Nessie's forehead one more time and held her tighter to me. I would never lose my appreciation for the mystery that is my life. The fact that I was lucky enough to be bound, mind, body and soul with this angel was something I could never feel worthy of.

I stood, being careful not to wake Nessie. I crossed the lawn slowly knowing that as soon as I was inside she would be out of my arms and I'd be detached from my personal heaven until the morning.


	7. Chapter 7

7. New Day. New Life.

Renesmee

When I woke, it took me a few seconds to realize where I was. When I got my bearings and realized I was in my Dad's old room, I was ecstatic. This must have meant that last night wasn't a dream; that Jake and I had admitted our love for each other.

I lay there with the morning sun streaming through the windows. It was going to be beautiful day; maybe even warm, a rarity for Forks. I remembered instantly that I needed to hunt when my head spun slightly as I tried to set up. There was a light knock on my door.

"Come in." My voice still sounded full of sleep.

Aunt Alice poked her head in and when she saw I was in an upright position, she danced in and set next to me. She had some clothes for me in her arms and she threw them at the foot of the bed.

"How are you feeling this morning?" She looked at me like the Cheshire Cat. I instantly thought that I must have slept really hard and looked it.

"I'm good. Thank you again for a wonderful time last night." I leaned over and gave her a hug. She returned it and kissed me on the cheek.

"Anything for you Nessie. Now you need to jump in the shower and get dressed. You need to go hunting. Jacob should be here soon. Just because you've got that boy on a leash doesn't mean you can get all lazy." She smiled her devilish little smile. Then it quickly melted off her face. "We are also having a family meeting. So as soon as you can. Okay?" She looked sad and I knew instantly what this meeting was going to be about. This big house was going to be empty soon.

I hugged her again and she stood and quickly left the room. I grabbed my change of clothes and made my way to the bathroom. I didn't even look in the mirror before I stepped into the shower. I knew it was a sight I didn't want to see. The hot water felt rejuvenating, but as it washed over me, so did conflicting emotions. I was elated about Jacob. We were together. But that euphoria was quickly replaced by profound sadness as the reality of my family splitting up hit me. These waves kept crashing into me, over and over. I spent too long under the water, and finally forced myself out into the cold. I was feeling lightheaded. I don't know if it was the conflicting emotions or my need to hunt. I slowly dressed. T-shirt, blue jeans, flip flops, standard attire for me, much to Aunt Alice's disapproval. I towel dried my hair and quickly ran a brush through the curls. At least I looked awake and in somewhat of an intact state. I opened the door and leaning up against the wall opposite was Uncle Jasper. He was looking at me, compassion filling his face.

"Are you okay? That was some emotional display you were sending out there. I could feel it all the way downstairs." I felt calm and I knew that he was worried about me. Uncle Jasper was not as outwardly affectionate as my other Aunts and Uncle, but he and I had a very special bond. As I had grown, it was Uncle Jasper that helped me stay balanced. He and I would have long discussions on history and we would spend hours playing our special form of chess. He was the one person who was always able to predict my moods even before I had them. Suddenly knowing that I wasn't going to see him every day hit me. I swayed a little and started to cry. He helped calm me and drew me into a strong hug. We didn't say anything. We didn't have to. All I could hope for was that they wouldn't be too far away and that frequent visits would be possible. He squeezed me a little tighter and then pulled away. "Hurry and finish, then come downstairs. We're all waiting." He quickly left me standing in the hall. I went back to the bedroom, made the bed quickly, put on the necklace that Jake had given me and started my way downstairs. It was quiet. Too quiet.

When I stepped into the living room, everyone was sitting in the long white couches and chairs looking at each other. No one was saying anything. I walked over to the opposite side of the largest couch and sat on the floor, looking at my family. They all looked back at me. Uncle Emmett held Aunt Rosalie a little tighter. Grandma and Grandpa looked at me, love and sadness written across their beautiful faces. Uncle Jasper stared at the floor, Aunt Alice holding his hand, resting her head on his shoulder. A small but reassuring smile painted her face. Mom and Dad looked at me calmly, but I could tell that they were worried what my reaction would be when the words were finally spoken. After surveying the room, my eyes finally rested on my Grandfather. He took a deep breath and reluctantly began to speak.

"As I am sure you have guess Renesmee, the time has come for us to relocate. We have stayed longer than we should have and I only wish we could remain here. This is our home, our true home. We know that you will want to stay here, because of Jacob. Your parents will be staying also, but spending part of the time with us. Are your plans still in place for school?"

I had already registered of the University of Washington. I had been home schooled and all the documents had been obtained to get my admission. My schedule was already in place that I would make the 140 mile drive three times a week. With my car, I could probably get there in well under 2 hours. Mom and Dad had wanted me to live in Seattle, but I had insisted on living at home. Even without recent developments, I knew that I couldn't be that far from Jake.

I looked at my Grandfather and nodded my head. "Where are you going?" I was praying it would be somewhere close.

"We have bought land and a home in a small town in Oregon; Estacada. It is close to the mountain, so we will have good hunting and I have access to a lot of different hospitals for work. We will have to stay indoors a little more than here, but we will be close enough to see you every week if we wish."

I didn't want them to go. I had never been without my family. I looked around the room at them and my heart felt like it was cracking and each one of them was taking a piece. Would I feel whole without them under this roof? Could I feel truly happy without sharing every day with them? I knew that had to try. My life was where Jacob was. And Jacob had to be here. He had responsibilities and I would not make him chose between his pack and me.

"When do you leave?" Grandpa looked down and didn't say anything. I looked around the room and the silence gave me my answer. "Oh, today then?" Again silence. "I will miss you all. More than I can say. You take part of me with you wherever you are. And I plan on visiting a lot." I stood and started to walk towards Uncle Emmett the tears beginning to flow. He slowly rose from his chair and wrapped his huge arms around me.

"I love you Little Lady." He kissed the top of my head and passed me to Aunt Rosalie.

"I will miss you Nessie. Please visit as much as you can." Aunt Rosalie had been like a second mother to me. As she hugged me I could feel her start to lose her composure. Uncle Emmett wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him as Grandma stepped in.

"We love you so much sweetheart. Anything you need. We will be here." She held my face in her hands and kissed my forehead.

Grandpa was next and his hug was quick, but sincere. "It is an honor being your Grandfather Renesmee. Let me know how your studies are going."

Aunt Alice grabbed my hand and spun me in a circle before stopping me with a giggle. "We are going to still see you all the time. I think Jasper and I will be splitting our time too. Neither of us can go too long without our Nessie fix." She kissed my cheek and I looked down as Uncle Jasper slowly rose. He pulled me into a hug and I rested my head on his shoulder. I knew he felt my sadness, and he calmed me before saying, "You won't even have time to miss us." He gently pulled me away from him and moved me to his side with his arm around my waist. I did the same, but returned my head to his shoulder.

The doors to the patio open then, followed by the familiar noise of Jacob's pack's laughter. We all looked over and the revelry stopped as soon as they saw our combined somber expression. Jacob's eyes focused on my face. His face became flooded with concern and he was standing in front of me in three quick strides.

Jake tenderly placed his large hand on my cheek. The heat from it instantly dried the tears on the left side of my face. I closed my eyes and leaned into it, letting his touch comfort me. "What's wrong?" I opened my eyes and his gaze was quickly darting between all of us.

"We're leaving." Uncle Jasper reached out and placed his free hand on Jacob's shoulder. As soon as the words had left his mouth, I felt Jake's arm around my waist and he roughly pulled me to him, holding me there in a vise like grip.

"No." Jake's voice was angry and his arm around my waist became even tighter. "You can't go. She can't leave." I could hear the panic in his voice. I reached up to his neck and placed my hand there, telling him what the details of the separation were. His grip loosened slightly and his relief came out in a sigh. He kissed the top of my head and then looked around to the rest of my family. Our family. "Are you sure you have to go?" After his panic had subsided, sadness was now coloring his voice.

"It's time Jacob", Grandpa came around the couch and place a friendly pat on Jake's back. "We have stayed here too long as it is, but we will still visit often, with Renesmee staying here and those of us who will be splitting their time." Grandpa looked over to my parents, Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper. "So I am afraid, you will probably still be seeing your pack expanding."

"Hey the more the merrier", Quil said with a chuckle from the back of the room. Jacob let out a huff; Quil quickly looked to the floor.

"Well we need to finish packing and be on our way. We want to be to the new house while it is still light." As Grandma's sentence ended, all my family was off to their tasks except my parents and the pack. Mom and Dad went back to setting on the couch and Jack picked me up and placed me in his lap while he set in the chair. I was still crying softly and placed my face in his neck, letting his heat evaporate my tears before they could even reach my chin.

"Jake, we're going to go get some breakfast. You want anything?" Seth came to stand in front of Jake as he spoke. Grief covered his face too and I knew he would miss them all as much as any one of us. Jake looked up at him and smiled.

"Nah I'm fine man. You guys go and take the morning off. I'll let you know if I need you; been really quiet for a while now." He stopped his last word short and slightly shook his head. "Crap. Well I probably just jinxed it didn't I."

We all laughed lightly and it felt good. I knew that it was out of necessity that my family left this happy place, not out of want. I was relieved that they would be so close. And I also knew that all the changes that had already happened and that were coming for me in the next few weeks would be overwhelming. I was nervous about starting school. I had been very sheltered here. My accelerated growth rate had made it the only option. I had no friends outside of the pack and my family. With them I wasn't shy, but the thought of being surrounded by strangers, had me reconsidering my choice to go to college.

I had tried to convince Jacob to enroll with me, but he refused. Seth, on the other hand, volunteered with a great deal of enthusiasm. We had fixed our schedules so it was the same, at least for this first term. We could ride in together and have a support and a study partner. I loved to study, but my motivation was sometime a problem. There was always something more fun to be doing. Grandpa and Uncle Jasper always had more patience than my Dad when it came to lessons, and I knew that the professors would have even less than him. I had reached the age of maturity, time to act like it I guess.

Jacob's pack left then and the house became very quiet. The only sounds where involuntary from Jake and me; our heartbeats and our breathing. After a short time in silence, the rest of my family gathered in front of us. I knew that it was time for them to leave. _Be strong. Make this easier on them._ I told myself. I hugged each of them and we all exchanged "See you soon." "I'll call you every day." "Come visit as often as you like." Then they all quickly left going into the garage, leaving Jacob, my parents and me in silence.

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my emotions under control. The last two days had been filled with the highest of highs and now the lowest of lows. I took a step forward to return to the chair Jake and I had been sitting in, and when I did I was suddenly unsteady on my feet. Jake wrapped his arm around me, turning me to face him.

"I forgot, I was supposed to take you hunting this morning." He smiled down at me, but his eyes were full of concern. "Shall we?" He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"Have fun you two. We'll be back at the cottage when you are done. Take your time." My Mom was so much more understanding than Dad. Well on this subject at least. Jake was Mom's best friend and she wanted him to be happy as much as she wanted the same for me.

Jake took my hand and led me out the door. "See you guys later." He called back over his shoulder. We walked slowly until we got the creek, then he picked me up and cradled me in his arms. He leaned down and gave me a slow, deep kiss. He then pulled back and he had a wicked smile on his face. Before I realized what he had in mind, he was in the middle of the creek, jumping up and down like a two year old in a puddle. Water was shooting straight up in the air and huge drops were landing on our heads as they descended down. We both were laughing and had our heads back, catching water in our mouths.

"Ok enough. I'm soaked." I giggled and Jake quickly ran to the opposite bank and gently placed me on my feet. I couldn't stop laughing and had to bend over and put my hands on my knees to catch my breath. When I realized that my laughter was the only sound, I quickly let it trail off and stood upright. I looked up at Jake. His head blocked out the sun, but the rays created a halo around his handsome face.

He place one of his huge, warm hands on the back of my head and tilted it back even farther. "Have I told you today that I love you?" His voice was strong. It grounded me.

"Nope." I whispered, my eyes never leaving his, but I let my head sink even deeper into his hand.

"I love you beautiful lady." He whispered as he leaned down.

"Sure. Sure." I tried to imitate his casual tone he used so often. He brought my head up to his. His kiss was gentle, but there was something new there. Something I didn't feel last night. I liked it. No, that didn't cover it. I loved it. In that kiss there was steadiness, sureness. There was no hesitation, no doubt. We were past that now. We were moving forward.

Jake moved his hand to the side of my face and looked into my eyes. He winked. "Let's go hunt." He quickly kissed me and then ran to the trees to phase. I looked forward to the day when such modesty wasn't between us. But Jake had decided he would be a gentleman and so I must try to behave like a lady. That day would come, I was sure of it, but I had a feeling it wouldn't be as soon as I wished it.

Out of the trees came my red brown wolf. His face was smiling as he trotted over to me. I could even read his eyes in this state and I knew what he was about to do.

"Don't even think about it." I scolded, but before the last word came out he was covering my face with sloppy dog kisses. I pushed myself away from him and gently tapped his nose. "I prefer the other kisses much better. Come on I'll race you." I started running as fast as I could, following the creek. Jake was by my side almost immediately and starting to pull away. I seemed to be fatiguing easily, but I didn't want him to see that. He would only worry. I slowed down and started laughing. I really needed a break. My body was too depleted. I hoped that by laughing it would mask my real reasons for stopping. When I had stopped completely, it only took about three seconds for Jake to be at my side again. I could see the worry in his eyes.

"I'm fine." I kissed his nose and nuzzled his cheek. "I am just a little drained that's all."

He nudged me with his head and then looked towards his back. He lowered himself and I climbed on, running my fingers through his fur. He was preparing for winter already, so his hair was longer and thicker than it had been even 3 months ago. I held on and lay my head between his shoulder blades. He sighed and a purr rattled his chest. I always loved that sound. It meant he was happy. I knew all his sounds by now when he was in wolf form. I had heard them all, many times over. I had spent almost as much time with him this way as I had with him as a man.

Jake took off at full speed. Cutting away from the creek and flying past the cottage. It was hard to calculate how far we had gone. Even if I had been paying attention, which I wasn't, it was too easy to run a lot farther than intended. My mind now was in a place where I was looking forward to this hunt being over so I could be back in Jacob's arms. I wanted to see if I could convince him to continue where we left off last night. I knew it would probably be a fruitless effort, but I had to try.

Jacob stopped after we had been running for about fifteen minutes, I would guess. I slid off his back and I could smell the elk herd, not too far to the North. We quickly, but as silently as possible approached the herd, which was grazing in a small patch of sunlight. There were about twenty total, fat with winter preparation. I was the first to reach them. I quickly took down a large buck and drained him before he could even protest. I was ravenous. I went immediately and took down two more elk before I stopped to even catch my breath. After I drained my fourth animal, I looked around to find Jake. He was nowhere in sight, but the carcass of his buck lay in the shadows at the opposite end of the small clearing. I stood alone, the sun warm on my face, surrounded by the remnants of our meal. I almost called his name, but before I had a chance, he emerged from the trees next to his kill. He had phased back and was walking towards me slowly.

The sight of him sent a spasm through my heart. My yearning for him to be near me, touching me, was palpable. Now that all the worry and pretense was gone, the longing to be near him almost hurt. Even this small distance seemed excruciating. I couldn't take my eyes off him as he crossed to me. He didn't say anything as he stopped inches in front of me. I felt his body heat. I could hear his heartbeat. My eyes stayed locked on his and he ran his hand down the side of my face, placing it on the side of my neck. His other hand brushed the side of my body. It stopped at my waist and his fingers traced the waistband of my jeans to my stomach. He placed his palm on the center of my stomach and then drew a line up the center of my body. When his finger brushed my cleavage, my legs almost gave out. He now had both hands on the sides of my neck.

He sighed and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, the yearning that had been there before was replace with determination. I knew that his will power had wavered, but now he was back in control. I just wanted to be next to him, to have his arms around me. I could wait for the rest. We had forever. Not that I was happy about it, but I knew that Jacob was mine. That he loved me.

"Jake would you take me to the beach? I would love to have a bonfire tonight. It has been a long time." I knew that he would cuddle with me there. He used to cuddle with me at bonfires all the time, and now it would have a different meaning all together.

"You got it. Are you feeling better?" Oh he loved me so much. I knew it. I felt it. I couldn't help but let this blissful state carry me away.

"I'm perfect. I love you. Now take me to the beach before you find some excuse not to."

He laughed and lifted me into his arms. We could have made it there a lot faster if we had ran, but there was no way I wanted to rush even a second with his arms around me.


	8. Chapter 8

8. Damn It, I Don't Want to be Good!

Jacob

"Damn it. Who the hell is making all that noise?" I had been having the best dream and some insensitive ass jerked me out of it by pounding on the wall.

"Jake your snore would wake a dead man. We couldn't hear the game." Paul was leaning around the door looking in my bedroom. I reached beside my bed and threw the closest thing to me at his head. My black dress shoe from the party just missed him and hit the wall behind where his head had been.

I dropped my head back down on the pillow and let my dream drift back. I wasn't tired enough to sleep again, but I could replay the best part. Renesmee; the two of us together, nothing between us. Oh God, I sure hoped that I could keep my promise. Or if I didn't, at least keep all my body parts attached to my torso. I rolled over and looked at the clock. 9:30. That was the latest I had slept in, in probably a year. I rolled out of bed and headed straight towards the shower. A cold shower was a necessity this morning. Every time I closed my eyes, the images that Nessie had sent me at the party, were there. I needed to find a distraction. Something to help me stay focused on what was best for everyone involved.

I could hear more voices join the commentary about the game on in the living room. It was the early game, the Seahawks against the Buccaneers. It wasn't even kick off yet, but already, Dad and Charlie were anticipating how the game would go. Paul and Jared were arguing over who should go and get food. I could hear my pack just coming through the door. I turned the water off, wrapped a towel around my waist and walked back into my room. The game was the last thing I wanted taking up my day. Ten miles away, my Angel was waiting for me. I quickly dressed, pulling on cutoff jeans and a black t-shirt. I pulled my hair back and out of habit, opened the wooden box on my dresser. I had done the same thing for so long, that I had just expected to see the small green rock there. I smiled when I remembered where that lucky rock hopefully was right now; nestled next to her heart.

I walked out into the already crowded living room. Charlie, Jared and Paul were crammed together on the couch; Dad was in the doorway to the kitchen. Quil and Embry were halfway in the front door and I could see Seth and Leah on the porch. I thought I had a way to make this day better for everyone here, including me.

"Morning everybody." I crossed the room followed by shouts from the couch for me to stop blocking the TV. When I got to the front door, I pushed Quil and Embry outside as I called over my shoulder. "You guys enjoy the game. We'll see you later."

Quil and Embry started to protest, but before they could get two words out, I interrupted them. "Let's go to the Cullen's. We can watch it on their big screen", nothing like killing two birds with one stone. I could spend the day with Nessie uninterrupted and my pack would get a much deserved break.

"If we hurry, we can make it before kickoff." We all started to run towards the trees, stripping down. We phased and took off at top speed. Unfortunately my mind was still on my dream and last night, so what I had hoped to keep private was public knowledge now.

_I really don't envy you Jake. _Embry was chuckling in his head. _I can't imagine if Stephanie's Dad knew everything that I even thought about. I probably would have been shot about fifty times by now._ We all laughed as Embry involuntarily shuffled through images of him and Steph almost getting caught in various immoral acts.

_Well it does complicate some things. But I think that going slow is the best thing. Not the easiest, but the best._ I was hoping for support from them. I would need backup if I was going to keep from taking that road we danced around on last night. I needed someone to help me keep my mind straight, because I had already figured I wasn't going to get much cooperation from Nessie.

_Jake, we've got your back. All I ask is in ten years when I'm in this situation with Claire that you return the favor._ Poor Quil had to wait so much longer than I did. Even though we all knew that his feelings for his imprint Claire, who was now eight, were just that of a big brother; he hoped the time would come when he was in a pretty similar situation. I hoped that for him too. All that I had gotten to experience with Nessie since her birth had made my love for her stronger than I could ever imagine. But she seemed like two different people to me. There was the child that I nurtured and taught things to, but about a year ago, she had become a different person. The woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. I thanked God every day that Nessie was just as much of a freak as I was. I know that I would never have had the patience that Quil had.

We got to the creek and phased as soon as we reached the other side. We could all have been quick change artists with as fast as we could put our clothes on. As we approached the house, it was quiet. It was a beautiful day; the sun was shining.

The sound of Seth's stomach broke the silence. It was so loud it made Leah jump and we all laughed as I pushed open the doors that led from the patio into the living room. My laughter quickly stopped when I looked into Nessie's face. She was crying, the rest of her family surrounded her. It was like I couldn't get to her fast enough. I quickly crossed the room and stopped in front of her, placing my hand on her cheek. I wanted to take whatever pain it was away. She pressed he sweet face into my hand and I felt a tear run into my palm. She closed her eyes and my eyes started searching the other faces for answers.

"What's wrong?" My eyes quickly went from face to face. All of their faces were filled with grief, but no answers. My gaze quickly went back to Nessie's as her sad brown eyes met mind. I instantly felt a wave of calm and looked in the direction I knew it was coming from.

Jasper reached out from where he stood behind Nessie and put his hand on my shoulder. "We're leaving." The words didn't really register. I acted completely on instinct. My arm reached out and wrapped around Nessie's waist and I pulled her to me. What did they mean they were leaving? Not now. Not now. What were they doing? Playing some kind of cruel joke at my expense?

"No." I said angrily as I pulled Nessie even closer to my side. "You can't go." I looked down at Nessie. I then looked to Bella and Edward. I wanted to know why they would do this to us. What were they thinking? They had seen what separating us did to her. "She can't leave."

I felt Nessie's head fall against my chest and her hand on my neck. _I'm not going. The rest of them are going to Oregon. Mom and Dad will be here part of the time, but the big house will be empty. My family is leaving._ I heard the sadness even in her non spoken words. Though I was relieved that Nessie was staying the thought of this house being empty put a damper on that relief. I looked around at all of them and I knew how hard it would be to see them go; even Blondie. I kissed Nessie on the top of the head. My eyes then went to rest on Carlisle. "Are you sure you have to go?"

"It's time Jacob." Doc came around the couch and patted me on the back. I had taken for granted the fact that he was here. What would we do now if one of us got hurt? Bones would be almost healed by the time he got here from Oregon. "We have stayed here too long as it is, but we will still visit often, with Renesmee staying here and those of us who will be splitting their time." He looked between Edward, Bella, Alice and Jasper. I should have known that Alice and Jasper couldn't stay away permanently. Their roll with Nessie had really changed over the past few years. Blondie was like another mother, Emmett was like a big brother, but Alice and Jasper had become almost, aside from Seth and me, her best friends. I knew that they would be around a lot. "So I am afraid, you will probably still be seeing your pack expanding."

We hadn't gotten any new members, to either pack in the last six years or so. All of us continued to phase, so we weren't aging, but I knew that the day would come, probably sooner than I wanted, that the members of both Sam's and my packs would want to lead a normal life. When that day came, as long as the Cullen's were here, there would be new recruits.

I heard Quil chuckle behind me. "The more the merrier." I quickly looked back at him. While I loved my crazy, dysfunctional family, I didn't want to sentence anyone else to this life either. My look stopped Quil short and he looked to the ground.

"Well we need to finish packing and be on our way. We want to be to the new house while it is still light." Before I could even look at Esme as she finished her sentence they were all gone except Edward, Bella and Nessie. Edward and Bella went to set on the large white couch. I could feel Nessie was still crying and I wanted to comfort her as much as I could. I picked her up and carried her to one of the chairs, setting down and placed her in my lap. She pressed her face into my neck and I just held her. I would have set there with her in my arm as long as she needed. I just wished there was some way that we could all stay together. But I knew that this day would come. I was just grateful, as selfish as it was that it came after Nessie and I had moved forward together; but then again, knowing Doc the way that I did, that was probably the plan all along. I looked over to Edward and he smiled and gave me a quick nod. They were all kinder to me than I deserved.

I heard Seth walking towards me, and I knew that they wouldn't even want to watch the game now. They would be as upset as the rest of us about the move. "Jake, we're going to go get some breakfast. You want anything?" Seth came to stand in front me. His stomach growled again and even though I was hungry, I would wait until Nessie had calmed down to eat.

"Nah I'm fine man. You guys go and take the morning off. I'll let you know if I need you. Been really quiet for a while now." Why the hell did I just say that? "Crap. Well I probably just jinxed it didn't I."

We all laughed. It had been incredibly quiet. The last real action any of us had was the last visit from Volturi and that was more tension than action. The Cullen's had such a reputation, that no stray bloodsuckers ever came in the area. But the pack and I still did our patrols, just in case. Mostly out of habit.

My pack went out the same doors we had just entered through and the house was silent. Quieter than I think I'd ever heard it. Usually there was always some kind of noise. Music or the sound of the computer keyboard. Something. Now it was just silence. I realized that this is how this house would be the majority of the time now. I'm not sure how much time had passed, but Nessie was no longer crying. She still had her face in my neck and I was in the happiest place I possibly could have been. Suddenly, the rest of her family was once again in the living room. It was time for them to leave. We all exchanged hugs. When it got to be Blondie's turn, she looked up and me with her typical disgust.

"You better take care of her mongrel. I mean it. If I hear of one misstep, you will be eating your puppy chow through a straw." I smiled down at her and quickly gave her a big hug.

"Ah I'm gonna miss you too sweetheart." I said as she pushed against me. Emmett laughed and put his arm around her to lead her out the door to the garage. Then they were all gone again. The finality of it brought a physical pain in my chest, that I became even more aware of when I looked into Renesmee's eyes.

Nessie turned from me and started to walk back to the chair we had been sharing; when she did, she swayed and I thought she was going to faint. Crap, I had forgotten all about her needing to hunt. This stress probably wasn't helping matters out at all. I put my arms around her to steady her, and then turned her to face me. She looked tired and drained. I suddenly felt Carlisle's absence and it scared me.

"I forgot, I was supposed to take you hunting this morning." She looked up into my eyes almost embarrassed. I knew that she didn't' want to seem weak. "Shall we?" I kissed her on the forehead. I wanted to make it seem like it was less important that it was. I looked over at Bella. She was just as concerned as I was, but we both knew that showing that concern would only make Nessie resistant. I loved her more than I ever thought imaginable, but the girl had a stubborn streak that put her mother's to shame; and that was saying something.

Bella nodded her head once to acknowledge that she trusted me to handle the situation. "Have fun you two. We'll be back at the cottage when you are done. Take your time." Bella smiled at me and that put me at ease; an ease that was quickly shattered when I looked at Edward's face. He was back in dad mode, and wanted to get space between up before any progress that had been made last night dissolved.

I took Nessie by the hand and led her out the door as quickly as I could. "See you guys later." I looked back quickly and saw Bella whispering in Edward's ear and the tension on his face was easing. Once we were outside the house and had a closed door between us, not that it would help, I slowed down; wanting to stretch every moment I had with her. Once we got to the creek, I acted on instinct. I didn't even realize what I was doing until she was in my arms and cradled against my chest. She was looking up at me and again it was nothing but instinct. My brain and my heart didn't seem to be connected. I leaned down and pulled her up to me for a kiss. But this didn't feel like just a kiss. I saw the off ramp to the avoidable road and started speeding down it as quickly as possible. But I knew that Edward was still within hearing distance, and Nessie needed to hunt, so my brain took over, just in the nick of time. I did need to cool off though and lighten the mood. I pulled back from our kiss and looked at her. She looked so beautiful, I needed to act fast before my brain left the building again. I smiled at her as I began to form a plan that could be a distraction and provide me a cooling off period. I ran into the middle of the creek, Nessie still securely in my arms. I started to jump up and down and she began to laugh like she did when she was little. We were getting soaked, but it was doing the job. I was able to cool off and hopefully it distracted her enough that we could behave ourselves for the rest of the afternoon. I would have kept going, but Nessie was done.

"Ok enough. I'm soaked." She was giggling as I ran to the other side of the creek. I reluctantly put her on her feet, making sure they were steady under her before I let go. We were both still laughing, but then, once again, I was overwhelmed by her. She had to bend over to catch her breath. The love I had for her, how protective I was of her overwhelmed me. I couldn't laugh anymore. The distraction had not been enough for me. Not even close. She quickly stopped laughing and looked up at me. She smiled at me and I found myself getting sentimental.

The need to express myself to her overpowered me. I reached out and put my hand behind her head. I leaned her back because I wanted to kiss her. I needed to kiss her. But I realized that I hadn't done something yet today. "Have I told you today that I love you?" All my nervousness that seemed to color my words last night was gone.

Her eyes were locked on mine and her smile looked serene. "Nope." She whispered. I felt her relax, placing more of her weight in my hand.

"I love you beautiful lady." I started to lean down to her. Her expression never changed, and I could see the certainty that I felt mirrored in her face.

"Sure. Sure." She was trying to sound like me and I smiled for one second before I brought her beautiful face to mine. While our first kiss was one that I would always remember, this kiss was what I had always dreamed of. This kiss was cementing us. Making us real. Beyond all the romance and nervousness, this was the kind of kiss to build forever on.

I pulled back, reluctantly. I wanted to get the necessary task out of the way, so we could just be for a while. I put my hand on the side of her face and winked at her. "Let's go hunt." I gave her one more quick kiss and then returned her to the upright position. I was actually a little self-conscientious as I went into the woods to phase. There was a new level of intimacy between us and although I loved it, it was strange. I quickly undressed, attached my clothes to my leg and phased. In a way, this was a little more comfortable given the current situation. There was no way to act on temptation while I was a wolf, and that gave me time to get my head straight.

She was waiting, patiently for me when I came out of the trees. Just seeing her made me happier than I ever could have imagined. I walked over to her and decided I wanted her to laugh again.

I could tell by the look in her eyes that she knew what I was going to do. "Don't even think about it." She was trying to be stern, but she sounded about as mean as kitten. I proceeded to lick her face; covering it with the only kind of kisses that this form could give. Nessie did laugh, but pushed herself away from me. She smiled, but gave me a tap on the nose. "I prefer the other kisses much better. Come on I'll race you."

She started running, but I quickly caught up. I looked over as I passed her. I couldn't tell if she was conserving her energy, or if she was tiring already. I just kept running at the same speed, and suddenly realized she was not beside me. I heard her laughing behind me and I turned to see why she stopped, worried again that there was something wrong. When I got back to her, she looked pale and the circles under her eyes were darker than I had ever seen them. I quickly ran to her side.

"I'm fine." She said as she kissed my nose and placed her face next to mine. "I am just a little drained that's all."

Ok, once again, I would not be confused with Prince Charming. I hadn't even thought about offering her a ride before. Here she was, on the verge of passing out, and it never even occurred to me until now. I motioned with my head towards my back. I lowered down and she climbed on. She ran her fingers through my hair and while I couldn't act on thoughts in this form, didn't mean I still didn't have them. She lay down and placed her head between my shoulders. I couldn't help but breathe a sigh of contentment. This was as close as we could be while I was a wolf and it was like heaven.

I took off as fast as I could. I ran past the cottage and it was just a blur. I could smell a herd of elk not far away, but I wanted to have some privacy. I didn't want to be too close to the cottage. That way both Edward and I could relax. I kept running for about fifteen minutes, and then caught the scent of another elk herd. I stopped and Nessie slid off my back. I waited for her to make the first move. This was about her getting what she needed. I would let her get her fill. We quietly approached the herd from the south and I watched in awe as Nessie took down the biggest buck there. We used to have contests to see who could claim the biggest animal. But watching her now, how her hunting style had changed over the years, it looked almost like she was dancing with the animal. This particular time, however, she was different than I had ever seen her. She seemed almost animalistic. She had never let herself get this hungry before. Something inside me started to click. For the first time, I didn't see her as fragile. She was strong and forceful. I liked it.

I went for one of the smaller bucks, taking it down easily. I fed quickly and then watched as Nessie went on the finish her third elk. As she went for her fourth kill, I went into the trees to phase back. I wanted to be able to hold her when she was finished. I was very glad I had decided to get out of Edwards range. The thoughts I was having, they were speeding towards the point of no return. I wanted to go there. I no longer wanted to keep my promise.

After I had dressed I watched her for a moment as she looked for me, the sun shining through her copper curls. Everything else seemed to disappear. The only thing I saw was her. The only thing I wanted was her.

As I entered the clearing, her eyes met mine. I could see the desire in them. There was a force that I could feel pulling me to her. We didn't say anything, no words were needed. I stopped right in front of her and looked down into her stunning face. I put one of my hands on the side of her neck. My other arm wound around her waist and then came to rest on her stomach. I wanted to feel her body under my touch. I slowly ran my fingers up her stomach. I wanted to sweep her up and lay her down in the spear of sunlight coming through the trees. My fingers stopped when I could feel her heart beat under them. I debated for moment on whether to leave my hand there or not, but I decided to move it to the other side of her neck. It was at that moment, when my resolve seemed to vanish that I took in exactly where we were. I didn't want the first time, to be surrounded by the carcasses of animals. It looked like fate was taking over and forcing me to remain true to my word.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I tried to force the desire back. I didn't want to. That really was the last thing I wanted to do, but I wanted no regrets with Nessie. Losing my resolve now would be one of the biggest regrets I would ever have. When I opened my eyes and looked back at her, she realized that the moment had passed. It wasn't sadness I saw, but understanding. Maybe she would help me, and make this a little easier. But then again, part of me would like to say we couldn't help ourselves. This stoic crap was for the birds.

Nessie smiled up at me, "Jake would you take me to the beach? I would love to have a bonfire tonight. It has been a long time." That was one request I would gladly fill. Nessie wrapped in my arms under a blanket in from of a fire on the beach, doesn't get much better than that.

"You got it. Are you feeling better?" She seemed to be doing better. Her color was back and she seemed steady on her feet. I was going to have to make sure she that never went this long without hunting.

"I'm perfect. I love you. Now take me to the beach before you find some excuse not to."

I couldn't think of anything that could derail this plan. I wanted to get back and try to catch Seth and see if he could get the stuff together and the pack assembled. We might as well make a night of it; less temptation that way. I laughed as I thought of the pack as a built in safety measure. I reached down and picked Nessie up in my arms. It was still early, and I wanted to make this time last as long as possible. I turned and headed back, walking while carrying Nessie in my arms, towards La Push. I was in my own personal heaven and never wanted to leave.


	9. Chapter 9

9. Freshman

Renesmee

The next two weeks were kind of a blur. My days spent relaxing with Jacob; lines being crossed, followed by quick retreats. I could see the conflict in Jake's eyes and I had asked him if he was sure he was ready for the two of us, to be close, intimate.

"That's not it at all Baby. I've just got a lot on my mind right now", Jake had assured me one evening as we were laying on a blanket on the beach in front of a raging bonfire that threw green blue flames into the air. I could tell though that there was something he wasn't telling me. Something he was keeping from me. But if he was worried about something, I didn't want to push him. I had enough frustration going on for the both of us.

It was a week before classes were getting ready to start and Seth and I had to go into the college to take care of our last minute clerical duties and buying our books. Seth arrived at the cottage bright and early. He was almost bouncy with excitement. I suddenly wondered if this is what my Mondays had in store for me now. Jake followed him through the door, looking pensive. He was as nervous about me starting school as I was. I think he was only handling it as well as he was because he knew Seth would be with me. Part of me wondered if he would have tried to talk me out of this if he hadn't been able to send a personal guard dog.

My Mom and Dad were setting together in front of the fire on the couch. I was on my way from the bathroom to my room when Jake and Seth entered the cottage. Jake put his head down and walked into my room without saying a word. "I'll be just a few minutes Seth", I greeted my fellow freshman and followed Jake into my room, closing the door behind me. As soon as the door clicked shut, Jake had pulled me into his chest, so tight that breathing was actually a problem. He ran his hands over my hair and started kissing the top of my head.

"I'm not so sure about this." I could hear his voice crack as he spoke. I pushed slightly against his arms so he would loosen his grip enough so I could look up at his face. I wasn't happy about being that far from him either, but I would be back tonight. I realized for the first time that he was more scared about this step than I was.

"It will be fine; just like I'm on a shopping trip or something. Besides how much trouble can I get into with Seth there? He's almost as much of a worry wart as you are." I put my hand on his cheek and tried to reassure him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I need to finish getting ready. The sooner we leave, the sooner I come home." He leaned down and kissed me. Quickly, just a peck and it left me wanting more, but he was opening the door and halfway into the living room before I could make that want known. Damn. Well maybe it would just make the homecoming that much better.

I grabbed a pair of socks and my favorite pair of boots. No flip flops for me today. But I was still in my uniform, faded Levi's and an ivory v neck sweater. I put on Jake's necklace and sat on the bed to put on my shoes and socks. I gave myself a final look in the mirror. My life was changing again. These past few weeks had been so crazy. And now, I was stepping out into the real world. I would have to be so careful not to make a slip up. Life here was easy. We all knew each other's secrets. Even Grandpa Charlie looked the other way when one of us did something a normal person shouldn't be able to do. But I am going to be surrounded by humans; completely unaware that Seth and I are monsters. Well to them anyway. I took in a quick breath and huffed it out before grabbing my canvas messenger bag and making sure my wallet and keys were inside. I opened the door and put on my best poker face. Mom, Dad and Seth were all talking about what to expect when we got there. Mom and Dad had made a trip up to the college last week and had gotten us maps and plotted out the quickest route back and forth. Seth was fidgeting on the sofa and when he saw me emerge from my room, he was on him feet, ready to bolt at the door. Jake was standing next to the window, looking out into the woods. His back was to me and his shoulders slumped. I walked up behind him, put my arms around him and kissed his back.

"So you better have something fun planned when we get back mister." I was trying to help alleviate his mood. He held my hands to his stomach and I rested my head on his back.

"I'll figure something out." He sighed and turned, with my arms still around him, to face me. He looked over my head at Seth and I had never heard him sound more like the pack's Alpha. "You better bring her back exactly the way she is now, or you will have me to deal with. Do you understand me?" Seth didn't say anything, but I am sure that Jake got his confirmation because he pulled me back from him and lifted me up by the waist so that I was even with his face. "Be careful please. I will be here waiting for you." I wrapped my arms around his neck and he kissed me; softly, but with determination. I didn't want it to end. When it did I opened my eyes and he was smiling at me. Not a full smile, but one that set my mind at ease just a little.

"One more please. This has to last me all day." I said begging. This kiss wasn't so gentle and I left him with a little something to think about too. "I love you. I'll miss you." I kissed his cheek and he set me back on the ground.

As he released me he looked directly into my eyes. "I love you too." I turned to walk away and as I did, he gave me a gentle smack on the rear. "Now hurry up so you can get your butt back home." I laughed and took Seth by the arm.

Mom and Dad were by the door, opening it for us. "Drive careful", Dad said. "You have all your maps and schedule and everything right?" I patted my bag and they both came and gave us hugs. "Have fun."

"Remember what I said Clearwater." Jake ran his hand down my hair one more time as we walked through the door.

The clouds didn't look promising and I didn't want to get wet, so running was the best option. My car was in the garage at the main house. "Race ya Husky!" I giggled, taking off on the path through the woods. I stopped short though as I got through the first row of trees. Seth stopped on my heels and looked at me like I might be trying to cheat. I reached in my bag and threw my car keys at him. "Get it started will you? I'll be right there." He quickly nodded and headed towards the house. I ran back to the cottage as fast as I could. The front door was still open and Jake was standing, looking where Seth and I had disappeared to. When he saw me immerge for the trees, he ran to me. I jumped into his arms and he lifted me up, kissing me immediately. I pulled back and smiled "Walk me to my car?" He cradled me in his arms and we kissed all the way down the path. He very carefully walked through the creek and when we go to the other side; we heard the engine of my Bugatti revving. He set me down and held my hand as we approached the car.

Seth was setting behind the wheel, looking at me sheepishly. He had been begging me since my birthday to drive my car. Lucky for him I was in a generous mood.

"Go ahead. You can drive there. But I will be driving home." I winked at him and he revved the engine again.

Jake bent down and stuck his head in the window, whispering something to Seth that I couldn't hear. Seth smiled slightly and nodded his head. Jake patted him on the shoulder and then took my hand to walk me to my door. He opened the passenger door and helped me in. I rolled down the window and he shut the door. He leaned in the window, barely fitting. "Have a good day Baby. I will be here waiting for you to come home." He kissed me, and I suddenly didn't want to leave. But I knew that this would be the hardest day. The rest would be a piece of cake. At least that is what I was trying to tell myself. When our kiss ended, he looked over to Seth. "Remember what I told you brother."

Seth looked at him and smiled. "No problem man. Don't worry. We'll see you tonight."

Jake brushed my cheek as he moved his body out of the car.

"I love you baby. Have fun." He poked my nose and stepped back away from the car. He was still leaning down though so he could look into my eyes.

"I love you too. You better be ready for me when I get back. I'll be ready to put my feet up after a long day." I slumped in my seat with fake exhaustion and he laughed. "See you soon love." And with that Seth slowly accelerated away from the house. I leaned out the window to wave at Jake as we drove away. "I'll miss you." I screamed back to him and then blew him a kiss. When he was no longer visible, I set back in my seat.

Seth practically crawled down the driveway and I looked at him confused. He had been chomping at the bit to drive my car and now he was driving like a grandma.

"Better slow down you speed demon, you might flip the car." I laughed at him as he rolled his eyes. Then I began to guess what Jake had whispered to him before we left. "He didn't tell you to drive slow did he?" This was going to be a long day if he had.

Seth laughed, but still crawled down the driveway towards the highway. "No, I am just doing this so I don't catch hell when we get back for driving crazy with you in the car. I'll speed up when we get on the highway." The car finally made it to the black top of 101. As soon as we were about a mile from our driveway, Seth gunned the engine. We were going about 150 mph on the straight-aways. The speed lightened both of our moods even more. I was excited now, and his enthusiasm hadn't waned for a second.

We set in silence for a few minutes as I searched through my bag to organize the maps my parents had given us. Then my curiosity took over.

"So are you going to tell me what orders you were given before we left, or are you going to make me guess?" I watched Seth's face as I said the words, and I saw his expression turn towards embarrassment.

He never took his eyes off the road, but sighed. "You are going to have to guess, but only because I am under orders." Well this was very unusual. Jake never used his Alpha powers. I can only remember him using it once and that was when he had ordered the pack not to let me know about my surprise birthday party for my thirteenth birthday.

"I guess the suspense will just have to kill me then." We both laughed and we continued the small talk as we flew down the road towards Seattle. When we got to the outskirts of the city, Seth slowed to the speed limit. My car would be a magnet to any troopers in the area.

"So maybe you will find your imprint in the big city my friend." I was teasing him because this was a conversation we had had many times before. Seth was like my brother, and over the years, we had kind of grown up together. The fact that the only members of Jake's pack who hadn't imprinted yet were Seth and his sister Leah was a source of constant teasing. He was a much better sport about it than Leah though.

"God I hope so. I feel like a monk." He laughed. "I haven't even come close yet though. All the other guys had girlfriend before they imprinted. Me, nothing." I looked out the window and he cleared his throat. The only thing close to a girlfriend Jake had before I was born was my Mother. There were times that I was a little uncomfortable about that fact, but not enough to dwell on. "Sorry" Seth was embarrassed by his obvious slip. The past, the part before I was born, wasn't spoken of often. Jake told me it was like a completely different life, and I was happy to leave it that way.

"No worries." I reached over and grabbed his hand. "We will get you all bound and shackled if it is the last thing I do. You are forgetting that I have all the time in the world and so do you. Think of all the pickings you will have to choose from." I clicked my tongue and shook my head. "You will leave a sting of broken hearts in your wake. I can see it already."

"Oh yeah that's me; a lady's man." We both started laughing and I reached over to crank up the radio as the DJ announced classic AC/DC would be next. Back in Black was shaking the windows and we were both singing at the top of our lungs when our exit came into view. We had made it there in an hour and forty five minutes. Not too shabby. We pulled up to the security booth and got our temporary parking permit. Seth parked in a spot far away from the other cars. He seemed to be even more protective of my car than of me. And that was saying something.

We made our way to the Admissions building. I had a check in my purse for both Seth and my first year's tuition. My family was so grateful for all that Seth had done for us over the years that they felt paying for his education was the least they could do. We made our way to the Cashier's window. The line was short compared to the others on this floor; the line for financial aid serpentined down about four hallways. Our wait was only about ten minutes, while I heard someone talking on her cell phone say she had been there two hours already and she was still about fifteen people back in line. There had never been a time where I was really aware of how useful my family's financial situation was. Now I felt it, and was beyond grateful. When we got to the window, I gave the clerk both Seth and my social security numbers. When she saw my name, her bored tone became animated and jovial.

"Ms. Cullen, it is so nice to meet you. Your family has been the talk of the administration. Their donation was so generous." She said it a little louder than I would have liked and I heard a murmur of disapproval behind me. This was no way to start my first day among normal people.

"Thank you." I said in a low tone, hoping to decrease her volume as well. "I have a check for the remainder of Mr. Clearwater's and my tuition. I believe this is enough." I handed her the check and she quickly added up some figures on her adding machine.

"Perfect". She still was talking too loudly for my comfort and I was so happy when she handed me my receipt. "Have a great term you two." She called as we walked away. The looks that greeted us as we walked past the people in the never ending line were less than friendly. Great. Way to not blend in.

Seth put his hand on my back and I knew he saw how nervous I was. He gently pushed me towards the stairs and once we were outside I was finally able to breathe.

"Well that didn't go the way I planned." I mumbled. Seth laughed and put his arm around me.

"Oh they were all jealous. They probably thought I was your boyfriend." I elbowed him in the ribs and we searched our maps for the bookstore. "Nessie would you mind if we stopped for something to eat before we get our books? I'm starving." His stomach growled and I giggled.

"Not a problem. It will help us get a lay of the land." We quickly found the Husky Union Building on the map and made our way there. The grounds for the campus were beautiful. The leaves were full of autumn colors and they were starting to cover the ground. Seth and I were deep in conversation, so I didn't notice that there was someone stopped in front of me until I had run into them.

"Oh I am so sorry." I said embarrassed. The person I hit turned around and looked down at me. He had a stern look at first and then his face softened. He was about six feet tall and had blonde hair and blue eyes. When he smiled at me, Seth's hand reflexively went around my waist.

"No, I'm sorry. I should know better than to stop in the middle of the road." He quickly put his hand out towards me. "Brandon Rhodes. I'm a junior and I'm supposed to be helping freshmen find their way around, not causing them bodily harm."

I reached out and shook his hand. Once he had my hand in his, he moved his other hand so that mine was sandwiched in his grasp. "Renesmee Cullen. This is Seth Clearwater. Is it that obvious we are freshmen?" I looked up at Seth and he was staring at how Brandon was shaking my hand. Then his eyes became hard and he glared at the stranger's face. I tried to gently pull my hand away, but met with resistance. I then used more force and he released me.

"The map is a dead giveaway." He laughed and then turned so he was talking directly to me and had his back to Seth. "So is there anywhere I can help you find? Your residence hall perhaps?" I heard Seth clear his throat with disgust and I looked up at him, trying to tell him to stand down with my eyes.

"I think we have it under control Brandon. Thank you anyway." I reached around the overly friendly man and gently squeezed Seth's arm. "It was nice to meet you." Seth started to walk in the direction the Union Hall again, my arm wound through his. Suddenly Brandon grabbed my arm stopping us.

"Wait. Just out of curiosity, where is your residence hall?" I turned and he winked at me. Suddenly there was nothing attractive about this man at all. He reminded me of a used car sales man. I didn't want to make another bad impression though, so I remained polite.

"We live off campus." I smiled and something registered in his eyes. He quickly looked up at Seth and Brandon's confidence faded.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I should have realized that you two were together." He looked apathetic as his gaze moved past Seth and me.

I laughed involuntarily, and Seth reached over and squeezed my hand. Brandon suddenly looked hopeful again and stared at me. Seth quickly adjusted his body so that I was slightly behind him.

"Renesmee is my brother's girlfriend. My older brother." The emphasis on older was deliberate and all the hope washed off Brandon's face. "Nice to meet you Brandon, was it? You have a nice day." Seth turned and pushed me towards our destination. He kept his hand on the small of my back until we were inside the cafeteria. I didn't look back at him because I could tell by how he was breathing he was annoyed.

We each grabbed trays and made our way around to the various stations. Each one offered a different kind of food. Because of my indifference to human food, I grabbed the only thing I ever did in these situations, a Coke. Seth settled on a double cheeseburger basket, two slices of pizza, nachos and six doughnuts. We paid and I followed him to a table in the farthest corner of the dining room. We set across from each other and Seth just stared at his food. I took a deep breath before I spoke.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry if I didn't handle that well back there." He kept his head down, but raised his eyes to look at me through his thick black lashes. He started to slowly shake his head from side to side, closing his eyes and taking deep breathes. "Seth, do we need to leave? Are you ok?" I was starting to get worried. The very last thing anyone needed was for my friend to explode into a werewolf.

He sighed and lifted his head to look me straight in the face. "I can't talk about it, but don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong." He couldn't talk about it? Another order from Jake? But about what?

I reached over and patted him on the hand. "Well whatever it is, let's just get the rest of our stuff done and get home." He quickly started eating. Just then my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller id and it was Jake's home number.

I quickly hit the answer button. "Hello?" I was just starting to go through Jacob withdraw, so this was going to be a perfect fix.

"Hey Baby. How's the most beautiful freshman in the world doing?" He sounded jovial, hopefully that meant he was adjusting to the situation.

"I don't know. But I'll ask her when I see her." He laughed and closed my eyes and imagined his face. "So what spectacular thing do you have planned for when we get home? You jetting me off to Rome for pizza? Sailing down the coast? Hot dogs and Marshmallows on First Beach?" I laughed and he clicked his tongue in disapproval.

"Well we just did the first two things last week, so First Beach it is." He was definitely in a better mood than when I left. But I still hated having this distance between us.

I looked back over to Seth who was eating quickly and scanning the room at the same time. I lowered my voice and turned to face the wall before I spoke; making sure no one was in earshot. "So what's the big deal using your Alpha mojo on poor Seth. You are causing him more grief than is really necessary. And no he didn't say anything, as you know; I figured it out on my own."

Jake sighed, and I was expecting to hear him laugh, but instead his voice turned acidic. "Let me talk to him please." I looked apologetically at Seth and handed him the phone.

"Hey Jake." Seth said hesitantly. I was trying to establish some kind of eye contact with him so I could ascertain what Jacob was saying to him. Seth's eyes were fixed on his tray and he not once wavered. "No everything is fine." There was a short pause and then Seth answered, "There was just one time. I took care of it though. Everything is fine." Seth finally looked up at me and winked. He was smiling now and I knew whatever crisis was brewing had been averted. "No problem man. I'll see you when we get back." He handed me the phone back and continued to quickly finish the remaining food on his tray.

"Ok, you are killing me here mister." I said once I returned the phone to my ear.

Jake was now laughing and that made me feel better. "I just told Seth not to let any guys too close. I didn't want some upperclassman trying to sweep you off your feet." He chuckled. So Seth really was my guard dog. Poor guy.

"Jacob Black, do you not trust me at all? That is a very cruel thing to do to Seth. He should be able to enjoy this and not have to be constantly on lookout if some guy is hitting on me. Shame on you." I was trying to sound stern, but secretly I was flattered.

"Can never be too careful when it comes to you baby." I sighed and shook my head at Seth who was smiling as he quickly finished his last slice of pizza. "Now finish up and come home. I miss you."

I laughed. "Nice try, but your Alpha orders don't work on me. I think maybe I'll stick around here a little while longer. I hear there is a big blow out on frat row tonight."

"Let me talk to Seth again." He said trying to sound tough. We both laughed. "I love you Baby. I'll be waiting at your house."

"I love you too. See you soon." I hung up and looked at the phone as I turned it over in my hands. I was flattered, yes, that Jake wanted to protect me, but I was also wondering if the day would ever come when I would be perceived as a strong woman; someone who could take care of herself.

I heard Seth sigh and lean back in his chair. "I'm stuffed." He patted his stomach and I giggled as burp escaped, much louder than he expected. He set back upright and looked around the room embarrassed. Luckily we were far enough from everyone, I don't think anyone heard.

We grabbed our trays, clearing the table and headed out the door towards the bookstore. It was crowded and kind of overwhelming. The line for the register wound back through the aisles and along the back wall. Seth took my hand and led us through to the shelves upon shelves of books. I had our class schedule in hand and we started from the top. Writing, Algebra, Biology and Music Appreciation. Fourteen Credits. We grabbed two of everything and then went over to the memorabilia. We grabbed t-shirts for each of the pack and got into the back of the line. We were surprised by how quickly the line moved. Even with the length, we were to the front in about 20 minutes. I noticed that we got lots of stares, but no one approached or spoke to us. I imagined that Seth probably looked very intimidating. But when I looked at him, I saw a kind and gentle soul. We were directed to the next available cashier, paid for our purchase and made our way out to the car. We took the long way, exploring more of the campus. As we walked past the residence halls, and the stream of students with boxes and parents looking dazed, I heard Seth sigh. I looked up at him and he was staring at his feet.

"What's the matter Seth?" He reminded me of a kid who was picked last for a game. He didn't raise his gaze, it remained on his feet.

"Do you ever feel cheated? Like that should be us? We should be going out on our own?" I heard the sadness in his voice and I wasn't sure what to say. I had never known anything different. I was born a freak, but everyone else in my family had known what it was like to be normal. I wound my arm around his waist and he put his hand on my shoulder.

"If you wanted to live here, I am sure you could talk to Jake. He can be reasonable." But I didn't want Seth to even think about leaving. I had already lost too much of my family already.

Seth laughed and shook his head. "I have a job to do Nessie. I couldn't let my family down, it is just sometimes I wonder why me? Why any of us? It just seems like fate is cruel sometimes." His train of thought was distracted by two small, blondes that ran past. "Oh yeah, I'm gonna like it here I think."

I smacked him on the chest and he laughed. The mood was lightened and by the time we made it to the car, we were talking about the bonfire that would no doubt be waiting when we got home.

I climbed in the driver's seat and we were speeding towards home. Seth and I could talk about anything and make the conversation last. There was never a pause. We just flowed from one subject to the next. Music, books, Movies, the Pack. It didn't really matter. I knew that the ease we had around each other would make these trips back and forth so much easier.

As we got to Crescent Lake, the road wound easily and the sun was glistening off the water, creating a horrible glare. I didn't see it until it was too late. There in the road was a deer. Just standing there like a statue. I didn't even see it first; Seth did.

"Nessie". He screamed and I saw it and slammed on my breaks at the same time. The sound of the deer hitting the hood was louder than I would have imagined, but they were nothing compared to the sound of the deer's hooves breaking through the windshield. The legs of the deer were only through the windshield for a moment and then they were gone. The car spun wildly and hit the guard rail. There was a sharp drop off on the other side and then the lake was about twenty feet below. The car's back end hit the railing and broke through. Seth tried to grab the wheel, but it was too late. The car's back tires were already over the embankment and before I could even take a breath, we were flipping backwards . I heard and felt three things and the same time. Seth, swearing, the hood of the car hitting the water and finally I felt my head hit the steering wheel. I felt Seth moving beside me, but everything was in slow motion.

Water started pouring into the car. I felt Seth thrashing and I couldn't figure out what he was doing. Then suddenly he was through the windshield and out of the car. I took a quick breath as the water covered my face. I was upside down and my head wouldn't focus. Then I felt strong hands pulling on my seatbelt as my lungs gave out. I saw Seth's eyes; his frightened eyes. And then they were gone.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Wait a Minute. What?

Jacob

I hadn't slept worth a damn for the past week. And when I did the dreams were horrific. In every one, somehow, Nessie was being pulled from me. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't hold on. In would have hold of her hand and then I would feel her slipping. Then I could see her slowly being pulled away from me.

I had talked to Bella about it and she seemed to think it was just my anxiety about Nessie starting school. I had to admit, the fact that she would be around all those people, those men, didn't set too well with me. But I trusted Nessie and I would fight till my last breath if it ever came to that. God I hoped it would never come to that. My alarm went off, just as there was a knock on the door. I heard my Dad greet Seth and I got dressed and headed out to the living room. He was so excited. Unfortunately, that made my mood about today even worse. I didn't want her to go. I wished she would just stay here and have Edward teach her. But Edward and Bella thought that this was important, and I knew that Nessie had to have an opportunity to see what the world had to offer.

Seth looked at me and instantly caught my mood. He took a deep breath and tried to calm down. "You ready to go Jake?" He looked at the floor so that he wouldn't have to look in my eyes.

"Yeah, let's go." I slapped my Dad on the back and walked out the door. We ran without phasing towards the cottage. I needed Seth to do something for me, and I knew that if I asked him he would, but I didn't want Nessie to know what I was asking. I didn't want to have to use my power as an Alpha, but this was important, and I hoped Seth wouldn't mind too much.

We stopped about five minutes before we reached the cottage. Seth looked at me, anticipating what would be coming next.

"Seth I need you to do something for me. I'm going to tell you this as your Alpha because I don't want Nessie to know." Seth nodded his head. "You are to protect her, especially from men. If anyone hits on her or does anything inappropriate, you are to, as discretely as possible, get her out of the situation." Again, Seth nodded. "And no matter what, don't tell her I told you to do this." He smiled and winked.

"You know Jake you could have just asked. I would have done it anyway." But then he paused. "But you are probably right about the not telling her order. Nessie does have a way to get me to say more than I want to." He laughed and sprinted ahead of me toward the clearing that surrounded Edward and Bella's house.

Seth reached the door first and knocked. I heard Edward invite us in and I slowly followed into the house. I was looking at the floor, I felt like a jerk. When everyone else was so happy, I just wanted to curl up in a corner and hide until this day was over. I saw Nessie in the hallway and I went to her room. She was behind me and heard her greet Seth.

"I'll be just a few minutes Seth." She followed me into the room, closing the door behind her. I soon as she turned, I had my arms around her. I wanted her touch to be burnt into my skin. I wanted her scent to fill my nose. I wanted her to still feel like she was in my arm when she was gone. I didn't want to see this big step for her as a step away from me, but it was easier said than done. I ran my hands over her soft hair, kissing the top of her head because that was the only part I could reach; I was holding her so tight.

"I'm not so sure about this." I was trying not to cry, but that is all I wanted to do. This was the farthest she would have ever been away from me without a member of her family with her. I knew that Seth would protect her, but I still would have felt better with her in a cement tower somewhere. My own personal Rapunzel. Nessie pushed back and looked up at me. She smiled slightly and I started rethinking my decision about going to school myself. But I knew that she needed to do this. I would have to let her go in order to keep her. But I hated that logic.

"It will be fine. Just like I'm on a shopping trip or something. Besides how much trouble can I get into with Seth there? He's almost as much of a worry wart as you are." She put her hand on my cheek. _I love you. Forever and a day Jacob Black. No distance or experience we have separately will pull us apart; because what you go through I go through. And vice versa. I will miss you and will be racing home to you every time I go. _I closed my eyes and listened to her sweet words in my head. "I need to finish getting ready. The sooner we leave, the sooner I come home." This brought me back to reality, and she was right. The quicker she left the sooner she'd be home. I gave her a quick kiss. I didn't think I would let her leave if I pushed anything more. I quickly walked out the door, and went into the living room.

I stood by the window looking out over the small lawn that surrounded the cottage. In my mind I was replaying memories of all the time spent on that lawn over the years. I could see Nessie when she was four running around in her favorite overalls. Wanting horsey rides when I was human and wolfy rides when I wasn't. I saw the picnics we would have. She went through a phase when she was about 8 where she would make me pb & j sandwiches every afternoon. She would make a whole stack of them and if I didn't finish every one she would cry because she though I didn't like them. Then I could see her at seventeen. That summer night we had spent lying under the stars. The first night that I saw her through new eyes. The moonshine made her hair shimmer like silk. She had rolled on her side and kissed my cheek when the conversation lagged. I felt that simple kiss all the way to my toes. And then just last night as I kissed her goodnight on the path to the house. It all went too fast. This day came too damn fast. I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. He gently squeezed it.

"I couldn't agree more." He whispered and went back to his seat next to Bella. Bella and Edward went back to giving Seth some inside information they had discovered on their excursions to the campus last week. Seth stood up and turned as Nessie walked into the room. She walked behind me and put her arms around my waist. I grabbed her hands to keep them there and she kissed my back.

"So you better have something fun planned when we get back mister." I could tell she was trying to make me feel better. So I would put on my best poker face. I wanted this to be a special day for her. Just because I wasn't looking forward to it, didn't mean I should ruin it for her.

"I'll figure something out." I turned so that I could put my arms around her and pull her to me. I didn't want any distance until there had to be. I looked over to Seth who was standing by the door. I wanted him to understand that I was trusting him with the most precious thing I had in the world. "You better bring her back exactly the way she is now, or you will have me to deal with. Do you understand me?" Seth looked at me with full comprehension of what I had just said. He knew the responsibility I had given him and he also knew better than to take for granted that taking care of Nessie would be easy. But at the same time, he was the one person I trusted more that anyone to keep her safe. I pulled her back from me and lifted her up so that her face was the same height as mine. "Be careful please. I will be here waiting for you." She put her arms around my neck and I gave her a kiss appropriate for a public display. At the end of the kiss she kept her eyes closed and it made me smile. When she opened her eyes, the look on her face made me smile even more.

"One more please. This has to last me all day." She was begging me now and that was more than I could take public place or not. I kissed her as if I wanted to leave my mark. She put her hand on the back of my neck. _When I get home, you and me under a blanket mister. I want your hands on me. I want to start up right where we are leaving off. _She pulled back from me reluctantly. "I love you. I'll miss you." She kissed my cheek and I put her feet back on the ground. I looked over towards Edward, and he was just shaking his head, smiling slightly at Nessie.

I let my hands fall to my sides "I love you too." She turned to walk to the door and I wanted to let her know I was okay. I reached out and gave her a swat on the butt. "Now hurry up so you can get your butt back home." She was laughing now and that made my anxiety flare even more. I just wanted this day to be over. She took Seth's arm and Bella and Edward were giving them reminders about all the things they had told them. I really couldn't hear what they were saying. My ears were ringing and I felt like I was about to lose it.

I needed to touch her one more time, so I hurried over to the door and ran my hand down her hair as Seth led her outside. "Remember what I said Clearwater." Seth gave a quick nod and they were on their way down the path.

I stood in the doorway and watched them start to run. I drew in a ragged breath and felt Bella's hand on my back.

"She'll be home before you know it. What do you want to do today? Whatever you want to keep you occupied." She was trying to help and I appreciated it. But I had already made plans for today. I was going to go home and try to catch up on sleep and sulk.

"I'm pretty tired. Haven't been sleeping too well. I think I'm going to go home and catch up on my beauty sleep." I never looked at her. My eyes were stuck on the spot where Nessie had disappeared. And then there she was. Walking towards me. I couldn't get to her fast enough. She jumped at me when I got close enough and I kissed her. She felt so small in my arms, but she held everything I would ever need in that little package.

She kicked her legs up so I was carrying her and looked up at me. "Walk me to my car?" I just kissed her all the way down the path to the main house. I walked slowly through the creek, not wanting to get her wet. Once we got to the other side, I could hear Seth revving the engine of Nessie's car. I was hoping that Nessie would let Seth drive. She wasn't as good of a driver as he was and I knew that he would be more cautious behind the wheel than she would. I set her on her feet and we walked towards the car.

"Go ahead. You can drive there, but I'm driving home." Thank God. Hopefully I could get Seth to try to convince her to let him drive the return trip too.

I stuck my head into the driver's window. "Try to convince her to let you drive both ways. Much safer for both of you." I whispered to Seth. He smiled and nodded. Seth was very aware what can happen when Nessie drove. I had taught her to drive on my old Rabbit. On her first solo trip around La Push, she had managed to back into a light pole and T-bone Charlie's cruiser. The fact that Bella and Edward got her the Bugatti still kind of boggled my mind.

I gave Seth a reassuring slap on the shoulder and walked Nessie to the passenger side of the car. I opened her door and helped her get in. As I slowly shut the door, she rolled down the window. Poker face man. Poker face. I kept saying to myself. I leaned into her window. "Have a good day Baby. I will be here waiting for you to come home." I kissed her and fought the urge to rip the door off and drag her from the car. I pulled back and took in her face one more time. Then I focused on Seth. "Remember what I told you brother."

Seth gave me a look that set my mind at ease somewhat. "No problem man. Don't worry. We'll see you tonight."

I ran my hand across her cheek as I backed out of the car. "I love you baby. Have fun." I poked her nose with my finger. It was something I had done since she was little. Every time she went somewhere without me. I took a step back, but stayed low so I could look into her eyes.

Her eyes never left mine. "I love you too. You better be ready for me when I get back. I'll be ready to put my feet up after a long day." She was acting like she passed out and I laughed despite myself. "See you soon love." The car slowly moved forward. Nessie leaned out the car window and waved at me as they drove away. Just before they turned the corner, and she wouldn't be in view anymore she yelled back to me. "I'll miss you." She blew me a kiss then she was gone.

It felt like a rubber band was attached to the car and my heart, and it was getting stretched tighter as she drove away. I hated feeling this way. I lowered my head and started to walk back to La Push. Before I got very far though, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Bella had snuck up on me.

"You doing okay Jake?" She hugged me and I fell apart. I felt so stupid. This was a good thing. I knew that. I knew that Nessie needed to be in the real world, but I was so afraid that what I offered her here would seem so insignificant compared to what she could have with someone else. I was tied to this place by blood and obligations. I made any future for her limited.

"Bells, I'm just so afraid of losing her. To an accident, a psycho, or to a life that I can't give her. She is so special; she deserves more than a life here. More than a life in La Push." I couldn't look Bella in the eye. I was ashamed of the fears I felt, no matter how rational they may have been. I trusted Nessie. I trusted our love for each other, but I didn't trust fate. Let's face it. Fate has screwed me over on numerous occasions.

Bella wiped a tear away that was running down my cheek. "Jake. I know you and I know Renesmee. You two are going to build a wonderful life together. You are already off to a great start. Don't over think it. Trust her. Trust yourself. It will be fine." I took a deep sigh, and finally looked at her. Bella had been my best friend for so long. She knew me better than almost anyone, with Nessie probably being the exception. She ran her finger under my eye. "Now no offense my dear friend, but you look like hell. Go home and get some sleep." She hugged me and ran back to her house.

I stripped down and phased. Just before I reached the clearing that led into La Push, I phased back and redressed. I walked up the road to my house and was greeted by my Dad and Embry. I wasn't in the mood for small talk, so I just nodded at them and headed towards my room. I lay on the bed, hoping that sleep would come and be peaceful. I drifted off without even knowing it. I realized I was dreaming, because it felt like I was floating. It was black, but my vision slowly came into focus.

I was floating above a crowd. It was a Wedding. I could tell because of all the flowers and everyone was dressed in white. I heard the Wedding march sound. I was behind the minister, and could only see the groom from the back. He was tall, with short black hair and wearing a white tux. At first I thought it was me, but I looked up the aisle and I was walking the bride towards the groom. She had a vale over her head, so I couldn't see who it was. I placed the bride's hand in the grooms and they both turned towards the minister. I finally saw that it was Seth. He was the groom. I looked back at myself and saw Nessie standing next to me in the front row. The rest of the family was there. The bride turned towards Nessie and me and raised her vale. I couldn't see her face. But I heard her whisper, "I love you Daddy."

I woke with a start. It was better than the dreams I had had the past week, but still, Nessie and I had already discussed the possibility of us having children someday and we both agreed that it was too risky. Carlisle didn't even think it was possible. And Seth, imprinting on my daughter. That would be too weird. I am sure that Bella and Edward would get a kick out of it.

I looked at the clock. Four hours had passed. I felt a lot better and I decided that I would call, just to see how things were going.

I went out into the living room and it was empty. I figured that my snoring must have driven everyone away. I picked up the phone and quickly dialed Nessie's Cell. It only rang twice before she answered.

"Hello?" She sounded excited, and I hoped it was from seeing my number on the caller ID and not by some hunky upper classman.

"Hey Baby. How's the most beautiful freshman in the world doing?" Now that I had slept, I was in a better mood. My dream was also making me laugh a little. That would be just my luck.

"I don't know. But I'll ask her when I see her." I knew that hearing from me had been the reason she was chipper and that made me laugh. "So what spectacular thing do you have planned for when we get home? You jetting me off to Rome for pizza? Sailing down the coast? Hot dogs and Marshmallows on First Beach?" She laughed and I clicked my tongue like I always did when we had this conversation. This was a long running joke with us. We always did the same thing. Only real variation was whether we were on the beach, my house, her house, or the movies. Not a lot of excitement in our world, but it was a happy world none the less.

"Well we just did the first two things last week, so First Beach it is." I was just so happy to hear her voice that I think it was conveying through the phone.

There was a pause and then Nessie said, "So what's the big deal using your Alpha mojo on poor Seth? You are causing him more grief than is really necessary. And no he didn't say anything, as you know. I figured it out on my own."

Well the fact that she knew that I had given Seth an order about something means that there had been some kind of incident. She would have had no idea unless Seth had to step in for some reason. I sighed, "Let me talk to him please."

"Hey Jake." Seth sounded like he was afraid to talk to me. Never a good sign.

"Is something wrong?" I wanted to try to calm his fears, but the curiosity was killing me.

"No everything is fine."

"Something must have happened, otherwise she wouldn't have known about our conversation."

"There was just one time. I took care of it though. Everything is fine." Seth was trying to calm my nerves, but it wasn't working too well. I just had to trust him and hope for the best though. Nothing I could do from here.

"Well thanks for taking such good care of her for me. I appreciate it." I really did appreciate it. Seth always had been a good friend. He would have given his life for any of us without a second thought. If fate intended on him someday being my son in law, then I guess I could do a hell of a lot worse.  
"No problem man. I'll see you when we get back." There was a pause while he handed Nessie back her phone.

"Ok, you are killing me here mister." She was more curious than upset, I could tell by her voice.

I started to laugh, because I could just imagine poor Seth. Nessie's interrogations were never pleasant. And she can be so persistent. I thought the truth would save both Seth and I a huge headache. "I just told Seth not to let any guys too close. I didn't want some upperclassman trying to sweep you off your feet."

"Jacob Black, do you not trust me at all? That is a very cruel thing to do to Seth. He should be able to enjoy this and not have to be constantly on lookout if some guy is hitting on me. Shame on you." She was trying to sound all tough, but I just closed my eyes and all I saw was a kitten trying to get its neck hairs up.

"Can never be too careful when it comes to you baby. Now finish up and come home. I miss you."

Nessie laughed. "Nice try, but your Alpha orders don't work on me. I think maybe I'll stick around here a little while longer. I hear there is a big blow out on frat row tonight."

"Let me talk to Seth again." I could have bantered with her like this all day, but that wasn't getting her home any faster. We were both laughing now. "I love you Baby. I'll be waiting at your house."

"I love you too. See you soon." And she hung up.

I stood there with the phone in my hand for second. In my mind I was with Nessie. I didn't hear any voices until someone waved a hand in front of my face.

"Earth to Jacob." Quil was the one whose hand was in my vision. When I blinked, he proceeded to smack me on the forehead. This sent a growl rumbling through my chest and caused both he and Embry to retreat to the couch and sit down.

"So are we having a bonfire tonight? Steph has the night off and I was hoping we were. I'm broke." The pack and I do odd jobs around the reservation. We don't make a lot of money, and let's face it, being a werewolf is not high on the income scale. I had turned into the neighborhood mechanic, so I always seemed to have more money than the rest of my pack, but not much.

"That's the plan. My funds are wearing a little thin myself." I walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bag of chips from the cabinet. My stomach was growling and I hadn't eaten all day.

"I'll go over and raid Seth and Leah's house. Sue always stocks them up pretty good. We can see if Sam and his group want to come too. Emily will hook us up." Quil stood while he was talking, making his way to the door.

"Give me a second. I'll go with you. Got nothing better to do." I ran into my room and grabbed a clean T-shirt. It was the AC/DC shirt that Nessie had given me for my birthday last year. I pulled on a pair of shoes and we headed out the door.

The rest of the afternoon was spent gathering supplies and getting the wood together. The rain that threatened earlier never really came through and the sun was reflecting off the ocean. It was going to be a beautiful sunset. I just hoped that Nessie got back in time to watch it together.

"What time is it?" Embry was impatient for Steph to be done with work. I could relate.

I grabbed my pocket watch. "3:30", I said. Time had gotten away from me. It had been almost two hours since I had called Nessie. I realized that I should probably be heading back to the house. "I'm going to head over the Nessie's. You guys got it from here?"

They all grumbled and I started jogging in the direction of the cottage. I had only been running for about five minutes when I heard a wolf's howl. It was Quil. I quickly phased, wondering what danger was here we hadn't detected.

_Quil. What's wrong? Has someone crossed the boundaries? _I could feel his anxiety as I ran closer to him.

_Jake, there's been an accident. Billy just found us. Seth called Edward. They were in a car accident. Nessie is unconscious and the car is at the bottom of Crescent Lake. There was a deer in the middle of the road and Nessie was driving and they lost control. _He paused, waiting for my reaction.

_Wait a minute. What? _I was in disbelief. Shock. I stopped running and phased back without even realizing it. Quil met me where I stood and phased too.

"Jake?" Quil stood there looking at me. I saw him, but my brain didn't seem to be working. "Jake, we need to get back to the main house. Bella is calling Carlisle and Edward went to go pick up Nessie and Seth. We need to get there and help. She will be looking for you." He grabbed my arm to lead me in the direction of the main house.

I didn't move. I just looked at him, trying to process what he had said. "What?" And then everything started to replay in my head. Nessie was hurt. They had gone off the road. The car was at the bottom of a lake. Edward went to get them and bring them home. Bella was calling Doc. But Doc was at least three hours away. What if she needed him now? I needed to get there. I needed to be there when she came home. I started running and phased in mid stride. Quil was behind me trying to calm me down.

_She'll be fine. It's not the first time she's passed out. Probably just the stress from the accident._ His attempts at making me feel better were not working. Nessie had passed out before, but always from food issues. I didn't know what this was from. She was still human enough to get head injuries and broken bones. Mind you she healed almost faster than I did, but still, an internal injury could be fatal, or at least I thought it could. We reached the main house, phased back to our human forms and dressed. Bella was pacing around the living room when we came through the door.

"Jake. I just spoke to Edward. He's almost to them. Carlisle is on his way. He said he would be here in about two hours. I'll need some help getting his office set up. We won't know the extent of any injuries until Edward gets there." She was starting to fall apart. Vampires can't cry, but there is an equivalent and I've seen it before. I put my hand on her shoulder and she pulled me into a hug. Normally, when Nessie was concerned, she was the one who calmed me. I wasn't used to this and I began to think things were a lot worse than I was imagining.

I took a deep breath and pulled her back. I leaned down so I could look in her eyes. "What do we need to do to get ready?" Bella closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Damn. I've got too may thoughts going through my head at once." Bella looked up at the ceiling and then over to the staircase. "Right. Jake, go into the back of the garage. There is a hospital bed there and a bunch of other equipment. Bring it up to Carlisle's office. Quil, go see Charlie. Tell him what has happened and let him know we might need blood. See if he can pull any strings at the hospital. If he can't we'll have to wait for Carlisle. I'll go up and get his office ready for all the stuff." We all ran off to perform our tasks.

I quickly found the equipment and made several trips up the stairs. Carefully placing it where Bella instructed. I needed to keep moving, because if I stopped, I knew the reality of what was happening would come crashing down. I was just bringing up the last monitor when Bella's cell phone rang.

"Edward?" There was a pause and she was looking at the floor. I wanted to rip the phone out of her hand, but I knew that would be a very bad idea. "I don't understand. Why is she not waking up then?" Crap, she wasn't awake yet. "Ok, I have almost everything ready here, just get her here. Carlisle is still about an hour and a half out. Tell her we love her. Is Seth ok?" Seth. I hadn't even thought about him. I was searching Bella's face for an answer and she finally looked at me and smile. I knew then he was ok. But Nessie was still unconscious. Why? "Be careful my Love. We'll be ready and waiting." And Bella hung up.

I looked at her and she wouldn't meet my eyes at first. This couldn't be good. "Bells. What's going on?"

She finally looked up at me and the worry pained her eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 – Sleeping While Awake

I was wet, but warm and rocking back and forth. I could hear Seth. He sounded like he was crying.

"Come on Nessie. Wake up. Please." He kept repeating it over and over.

Then I remembered the accident. I tried to look at him but my eyes wouldn't open. I couldn't move.

_Seth I'm here. I'm fine. _I was trying to will him to take my hand. I hoped that I could communicate with him at least to let him know I could hear him.

He was holding me tight in his arms and then I suddenly felt one hand move away from me. I heard the sound of my cell phone being turned on. He was calling someone. Please Seth be smart about this and call my Dad and not Jake.

"Edward. Nessie won't wake up." He was crying harder now and I heard him take a deep ragged breath. "There was a deer in the road. Nessie didn't see it and we hit it going about 120. She lost control and we ended up in Crescent Lake. I heard her hit her head the steering wheel and she swallowed some water before I could get her out of the car." He paused; listening to what I was sure was barrage of questions. "I got the water out of her lungs, and she is breathing, but nothing else." Another pause. "We are about halfway around the lake. You will see our skid marks. The car is completely submerged and I am below the road out of sight." Seth took another deep breath. "Edward could you get word to Jake?" I couldn't even imagine what would be going through Jacob's mind when he found out. I just hoped he wouldn't kill the messenger. "I didn't think about that. I will. Hurry Edward." And then I heard the phone disconnect and slowly Seth took my hand.

_Took you long enough._ I teased trying to make him calm down a little.

"Nessie. Thank God. Can you move anything? Do you hurt anywhere?" His grip on my hand became stronger and he held me tighter.

_My head is killing me, but other than that I feel fine. I can't move anything though. Are you ok?_

Seth let out a soft laugh, brought my hand up and kissed it. "I'm a hell of a lot better now that you're talking to me." Suddenly the light through my eyelids was very bright. Seth must have moved his head so that he was no longer blocking the sun. "Are you cold?"

_No. I'm not cold. Is Dad on his way? _Now that I knew Seth was ok, I could worry about the next thing, my car.

"Yeah, Bella was going to call Doc and get a hold of Jake. They will be waiting for us at the house when we get there." I could hear cars drive by on the road above us.

_My car? Seth, where is my car?_ He was quiet for a really long time and then squeezed me a little tighter again.

"It's at the bottom of the lake Sweetie. It's gone." I felt him shift under me and I was now lying with my head on his lap and he still had one hand holding mine and the other was softly running through my hair. "But it is just a car. As long as we get you back to 100% do you really think anybody's going to be caring about that?"

_Do you think Jake will be mad at me? _Of course he will be mad at me. I was going way too fast and I almost got one of his pack killed. Every time I make progress on the maturity scale, I seem to slide back down just as fast.

Seth lightly laughed. "No, Jake won't be made at you Nessie. Me on the other hand, well I have a feeling that Doc better keep his schedule open for me for a while. I might need to have a few bones set."

Of course Jake would hold Seth responsible even though it was by no means his fault. I would have to put that fire out before it had a time to flare.

I continued to try to make some form of movement, but nothing. I was starting to get frustrated and screamed in my head.

Seth pulled his hand away for a second and then grabbed it again. "What the hell was that? Are you hurting somewhere?"

_No just frustrated. Damn it. Why can't I move? And my head really hurts. Did I hit it on something?_

"The steering wheel. You're lucky you are so hard headed." He laughed. There was a long stretch of silence between us and then Seth let out a sigh. "So what do you want to do now? I guess charades is out of the question."

I laughed and sent him an image of me smacking him in the back of the head. I figured I had Seth as a captive audience. Why not take advantage of it and ask him some real questions. _What would you be Seth if this life had not been chosen for you? What does Seth Clearwater want to be when he grows up?_

He laughed and squeezed my hand. "So now we are going to get all introspective and shit. Pardon my language." I think was the first time I had ever heard him use a word harsher that shucks. "Hey at least you can still blush. That is good to know." He paused again and I could tell he was gathering his thoughts. "I guess above all, I want to be a good husband and father like my dad." That surprised me a little. Seth didn't talk about his father ever. "As far as if I could do any kind of job, I think I would want to be a cop. I think I'm pretty good at this serve and protect stuff." We laughed at that together. I had a question to ask him, but I was afraid of upsetting him. I decided that having a near death experience gave me the right to throw caution to the wind. I could always blame the head injury if he got upset.

_Were you upset when your Mom married Grandpa Charlie?_

Seth squeezed my hand again. "No. In a way it seemed kind of fitting. Dad and Charlie were best friends. He and Billy were like extra Dads to me when I was little. I think my Dad would be happy to know that Mom is with a good man who loves her and Leah and me." I heard something in his voice. Not really sadness, but more of the sound of a son missing his father.

_Would you tell me about him? Your Dad. _Seth proceeded to tell me stories about his early childhood. As he told me of fishing trips and birthdays, I would ask questions and while I listened, I was trying to get anything on my body to move. Just as I was starting to lose hope, my big toe on my right foot slightly rubbed across the inside of my shoe. Thank God. I didn't tell Seth though because I wanted to have more progress before I got his hopes up.

I am not sure how much time passed, but Seth made it fly by with his animated storytelling. He stopped mid-sentence suddenly and said "Your Dad's here." He no more got the word out than Dad was grabbing my hand.

_Hi Daddy. _And I heard a sigh of relief escape him.

"She still can't move or anything." Seth let the worry paint his voice again.

"From the looks of the bruise on her forehead, I would guess she has a brain injury that is affecting her neurologically. Unfortunately it is one of those injures that will only heal it time. We'll just need to be patient." There was a pause as I felt my Father's hand on my cheek. "Seth are you ok? I'm so sorry. Thank you for taking care of her."

"I'm fine. I'm just sorry that I didn't do a better job." Why was he blaming himself? I was driving and he saved my life. But of course I would have expected no different of a response from any one of Jake's pack. "Does Jake know?"

"Bella was trying to get in touch with him when I left. I need to call her and give her an update before we leave." There was no sound and then I could tell that Dad was talking to Mom.

"I'm with them Bella. Mentally she is fine and communicating with me." He paused while listening. "I think she has a closed head injury that is affecting her. I won't know more until Carlisle looks at her. Have you been able to get in touch with him?" Again another pause. "He is fine. Worrying himself sick about Nessie and Jake, but other than that he seems to be fine. I'll tell Nessie you love her and we will be there soon." I felt Dad's hand brush my cheek again. "Bye my love."

_Dad, is Grandpa coming?_

"He's on his way. Seth, I'm parked on the other side of the lake by the boat slip next to the trees. I didn't want attention when we put Nessie in the car. I'll carry her, you phase and we will meet you there." My Dad lifted me into his arms and took off at full speed. In what seemed like seconds he stopped and I heard the sound of clothes rustling next to me. Seth must have been getting dressed.

The arms around me felt warm again as Dad passed me back to Seth, who I now assumed was setting in the back seat.

On the drive home, I continued to try to move more. I could now move all my toes slightly and was discreetly trying to move my fingers. I didn't want to give Seth and Dad any false hope. Dad would ask me questions and Seth would relay the answers, even though Dad heard them before he did. My head still hurt, but the pain seemed to be dulling. Either that or I was getting used to it. The car ride was long and I was getting impatient.

I heard the car tires hit gravel. _Are we home? _I asked.

"Yup, looks like it's going to be a full house. Everyone is here." Dad chuckled slightly, but worry still filled his voice.

As the car rolled to a stop I heard the door open and felt myself gently being lifted from the car.

"Grab her hand Jake. She'll talk to you." I heard Seth call from the car.

I felt his familiar hand take mine. _I'm going to be fine. I love you._

And then his warm lips were on mine as he carried me into the house.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

There is Nothing Louder Than Silence.

Jacob

"Nessie is able to communicate with Edward or Seth touches her, but she can't move or talk, or even open her eyes. She keeps saying her head hurts and Edward thinks she could have a brain bleed and swelling that is keeping her under. Seth said she hit her head on the steering wheel and that she swallowed a lot of water before he could get her out of the car." We had immediately switched rolls again, because as soon as the last words left her, she had her arm around me and was steadying me. "She's going to be ok. Edward is confident that it will just take some time. Mentally, she is where she has always been. It just seems to be neurological."

I sat down hard on the floor by the hospital bed. I should have been there. I should have been driving her. We all knew she hadn't had enough experience driving. I was continuing to silently beat myself up when we heard the front door open. Quil came running up the stairs followed by Leah.

"Charlie is working on it. Sue is on her way with Charlie. I told her Seth was fine, but she wanted to be here." His eyes looked down at me, and he walked over and put a hand on my shoulder.

Leah looked at Bella and her attitude started to seep through. "How's my brother. Have you heard anything yet?"

Bella walked over and gently rubbed Leah's arm. Leah recoiled and took two steps back. "He is fine. They are on their way back now." Bella headed down stairs and we all followed. I knew I would be spending a lot of time in that room and I didn't want to be there now, letting my mind go to the worst case scenario.

We were all pacing around the living room when we hear the car in the drive way. It was Charlie and Sue. They parked and ran quickly to the house carrying a cooler.

Quil opened the door and took the cooler from Charlie, taking it into the kitchen. Sue went to Leah and they started talking quietly and Charlie came to stand by Bella and me.

"I called in a few favors. I couldn't get much, but hopefully it will help." Bella reached out and squeezed Charlie's arm. "Any word yet?" Charlie tried to keep on his cop face, but there were tears behind his eyes and a shake in his voice.

Bella repeated what we knew and as she was finishing we heard more cars racing down the driveway. Carlisle's Mercedes raced into the garage, followed closely by a black Escalade with Emmett behind the wheel. The rest of the Cullen's were in the house in an instant, quickly getting an update from Bella and then racing to different parts of the house.

Finally, we heard one more set of tires. I ran out of the door onto the porch, followed by the rest of the family. Before Edward even came to a complete stop, I was opening up the back door of the Volvo. I reached in and slid Nessie out of Seth's arms. She looked like she was sleeping and there was a huge purple and black bruise on her forehead.

"Grab her hand Jake. She can talk to you." Seth said before I had her completely in my arms.

I grabbed her hand and instantly she started to sooth me. _I'll be fine Jake. My head just hurts. It will be ok. _

I leaned down and kissed her as I quickly took her into the house and up to Carlisle's office. "I love you baby. You're going to be fine. I'm so sorry I wasn't with you."

_Stop it Jake. It wouldn't have made a difference if you were with me or not. I still would have been driving. Please make sure Seth is ok. He saved me. I would have drowned if he hadn't acted so fast._

I laid her down on the bed and looked up at Seth, who was standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets. I think he was afraid I was going to reprimand him. "Thank you brother. Are you ok?"

Seth looked at me and tried to smile, but I knew he wouldn't be ok until Nessie's eyes were opened and she was walking around. "I'm fine. It just happened so fast. I couldn't do anything to stop it."

Carlisle appeared in the room and asked everyone to leave so he could properly do his tests. I squeezed Nessie's hand and kissed her cheek. "I'll be right back."

_Go. I'll be fine._

I was the last to leave the room and I slowly closed the door behind me. I sat on the top step of the staircase and Seth sat next to me. He put his head in his hands and covered his face, slowly shaking his head from side to side.

"Jake I am so sorry. I tried. It all happened in a split second." He raised his face to look at me. "One second we were singing and talking about the bonfire, and the next thing I knew we were upside down underwater." He ran his hand over his face. "She hit her head so hard. Anyone else but Nessie…" His voice trailed off, but he didn't have to finish his thought. I already knew. Anyone else would be dead.

I put my arm around his shoulder. "You did everything you could. She is alive. If she had been alone, there wouldn't have been any chance." I was trying to comfort him, but my mind was still in the room behind that damned closed door.

I suddenly heard yelling from the living room and recognized it immediately as Leah.

"It like no one in this house even gives a crap that she almost killed my brother, just as long as Nessie is ok. I mean my God; she shouldn't even be alive anyway. Even in this freak show, she's the stand out."

Seth and I ran down the stairs and saw the anger on the faces of everyone in the room. As we came up to Leah she turned and ran out of the house into the yard, phased and started running. Seth and I followed. There was no way I was going to let her get away with that. I knew she had been worried about Seth, but that outburst was completely unacceptable.

_Leah stop. That's an order. _I didn't give orders very often, but I also didn't want to be too far from the house in case Nessie needed me.

_Fine Jake. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that your sweetie pie is hurt. I'm sorry that my whole existence is occupied by someone that I don't give a crap about. And I'm sorry that I have no choice in the matter. _Leah had mood swings often. There were many times over the years that she had thought about leaving the pack and going out on her own. Seth and I always convinced her to stay. But at this point I just wanted to tell her to leave.

_Leah. You are my sister. I love you, but you need to stop this. We are all part of a family. Nessie is Jake's imprint. She is my friend. She is all of our friend. You are the only one who is making this difficult. I am fine. The accident wasn't her fault. _Seth was once again trying to wave a white flag to his sister. She wasn't having any of it though. Personally I think she had been looking for an excuse to leave.

_I need to get way from here for a while. You don't know how difficult this is for me. I have to listen to how much you all are in love and how happy you are. My life is crap. _She was rocking back and forth wanting to run away. Well today is going to be her lucky day. Maybe this will be the best thing for all of us.

_If you want to go, go. I'm not going to beg you to stay here. But I've been out there by myself, remember. You still won't be completely away from us. You never will. We will be right here if you change your mind, but I will not have you creating pain and conflict when there is no need for it. _She could be a pain in the butt, but she was part of us, and I'd miss her.

_Seth, come with me. Just for a while._ She was afraid to be alone. I could tell, but personally, I think it is exactly what she needed.

_No Sis. My life is here. I am happy. I'll miss you. Take care of yourself. Don't stay gone too long. _Seth turned and started back towards the house.

_Tell Mom I'll call her. I don't know if I'll be back Jake, so take care of him for me._ With that she started to run again.

_I will. We are here if you need us. Take care of yourself Leah. I hope you find what you are looking for._ She didn't answer and I phase back so I couldn't hear anything she gave up involuntarily.

I ran up to Seth, who was waiting in the trees looking at the house. "You ok?" Leah was his sister, and he loved her. Seth had lost too much in his life and I knew that he would feel this one more than the rest of us could even begin to understand.

Seth took a deep breath and then patted my back. "I'm just trying to figure out what to tell my Mom. Crap." He put his head down and headed towards the house. When we got back inside, the living room was empty and we heard laughter coming from Doc's office.

Laughter. I looked up and said a silent thank you. I looked over at Seth and his face mirrored the relief I felt. We took off racing each other up the staircase.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 Baby Steps

Renesmee

I could feel Jake going up the stairs and I instantly knew where he was headed; Grandpa's office.

"I love you Baby. You're going to be fine. I'm so sorry that I wasn't with you." The worry and guilt he was feeling was seeping out with his words. I just wish that he wouldn't take all this on himself.

_Stop it Jake. It wouldn't have made a difference if you were with me or not. I still would have been driving. Please make sure Seth is ok. He saved me. I would have drowned if he hadn't acted so fast. _I wanted to calm him, but I also wanted to deflect any anger he may have had towards Seth. I knew that Jake would hate himself later if he got angry with him after Seth had done nothing but save my life.

Jake laid me on the bed, never letting go of my hand. "Thank you Brother. Are you okay?" There was no anger in his voice and that made me feel so much more at ease.

I continued to try to move my toes and the fingers on the hand that Jake wasn't holding. I was concentrating so hard, I didn't realize that my Grandfather had entered the room and was hurrying people out.

I felt Jake squeeze my hand and kiss my cheek. "I'll be right back." I could tell that he wanted to stay, but I wanted to let Grandpa know my progress and hopefully he could tell me how to speed things up.

_Go. I'll be fine._

I felt Jakes hand linger for a second and then he slowly let go, leaving the room. It was quiet then and I felt my Grandfather's hand in mine.

"How is your head Nessie?" His voice was soothing, but businesslike. I knew he was trying to see me as a patient now. I knew this would be hard for him, but he had had decades of practice.

_A little better. I haven't told anyone else, but I can move my toes. I have to concentrate really hard, but I can feel them move._

Grandpa quickly removed my boots and socks. "Try to move your toes now Nessie." I concentrated and I could feel my toes curl slightly. "Very good sweetheart." Grandpa's façade crack slightly from his relief. He grabbed my hand again. "Can you move your fingers?" I tried and I felt my hand slightly squeeze his. "Very good."

_Do you think I will be ok? _I had a good feeling that I would be, but I also knew that the brain was a complex thing.

"It looks as though the paralysis is slowly retreating. My guess is you will be able to open your eyes next. It seems to be coming back at the extremities first. It is a very good sign Nessie." He kissed my hand and then went about doing other tests.

I had all the normal senses. I could feel pain, but the farther up a needle was poked into my arms or legs, the slight movements I could muster disappeared.

I decided to focus on my eyes and mouth. I wanted to be able to communicate normally. I wanted to see Jake face. I concentrated and I felt my eyes start to flutter. After what seemed like hours, but I knew it wasn't, I was able to get my eyelids to come open.

"Very good Nessie. You will be back to normal in no time. I'll go get your parents." He dropped my hand and I was able to focus my eyes and blink. I then tried to get my mouth to work. I just wanted to get one word out. I knew that as soon as I got started, my brain would start to kick in.

"Nessie. Thank God. Nice to see your beautiful eyes Sweetheart." Mom leaned over me and ran her hand across my cheek.

"Carlisle said you are making a lot of progress. Won't be long now." Dad was holding my hand smiling down at me, relief filling his eyes.

I wanted to try again to speak. I concentrated, closed my eyes tight, took a breath and said the one thing that always gave me strength.

"Jake?"

It wasn't above a whisper, but they heard it. Mom kissed my cheek. "He had to deal with a pack issue. He will be right back."

Suddenly I was worried that Jake had decided to take this out on Seth. I looked anxiously over at my father.

"It's not that Nessie. Seth is fine. Leah is going away for a while. I think she just needs a break." I knew it was more than that, but I would wait for Jake to tell me when he was ready.

Dad propped the bed's headrest up just as the rest of my family came in. They all expressed relief when they saw my eyes open and by the fact I was talking a little.

_I'm so sorry about my car. _I sent the message to my Dad and Mom. I felt horrible that they had spent so much on it and in a blink of an eye it was gone.

Dad laughed, stroking my hair. "Don't even worry about the car. We will get you a new one; a safer one. What would you like?"

Suddenly a baritone voice piped up from the back of the crowd. "I vote for a tank."

Everyone laughed. I concentrated and managed to croak out, "Very funny Uncle Emmett."

There was some shuffling of the crowd, and then Jake and Seth appeared in the room. Mom and Dad stepped back and let them take their places.

"Hey Baby, so good to see those beautiful eyes of yours." Jakes gaze never left mine.

"I love you" I whispered.

Jake leaned in and kissed me tenderly, and then brought his eyes back to mine.

I looked over at Seth and was able to move one of my fingers to touch his hand that was next to mine on the bed.

"Thank you." I was able to smile at him and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Get better ok, because I suck at taking notes and I need my study partner." Seth smiled, squeezed my hand and left the now empty room.

Jake went and grabbed a chair and set it beside me. He sat down and his hands never left me; one always holding my hand, the other stroking my hair, my cheek. He would encourage me, but not push me.

By the end of the evening, I could move all my limbs to some degree. I was exhausted.

"I'm going to let you get some sleep Baby." He stood to leave, but I squeezed his hand.

_Hold me until I fall asleep. Please._

Jake raised the bed rail opposite him, lifted me so he could lay beside me. He slid his arm under me and pulled me to his chest. My eyes closed and I just listened to him breath, but I could hear him whispering over and over, "Thank you."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 – Give Me Sticks and Stones Any Day.

Renesmee

I had recovered fully by the end of the week and Seth and I started school as scheduled. Seth drove back and forth, and I really didn't fight him on it. My parents had replaced my car with a Volvo C70 Convertible. It was midnight blue and I loved it. Washington in the fall and winter is not top down weather, but being as I am the only one who can drive with a top down in the spring and summer, I think the rest of my family was trying to live vicariously through me.

The term started out great. Jake and I spend as much time together as school and studying allowed. Seth and I were meeting people and making acquaintances. Being who we were, making friends was a luxury we couldn't afford. But if I had to choose between my family and Jake, or normal; there would be no contest.

In November things started to change. Seth and I had made it through midterms and we were getting ready for the Thanksgiving holiday. We got back from our last day of classes before the break and I ran as fast as I could to the cottage, knowing that Jake would be there waiting. I threw the door open and Mom and Dad smiled at me.

"How was class?" Mom asked. She and Dad looked at each other then back to me, reading what must have been a puzzled expression.

"Jake must be running late. I am sure he will be here soon." Dad read my question before I could speak it.

"Thanks Dad. Class was fine. I'm glad it is vacation though. I need a break."

Seth waved at my parents and then leaned down to me. "I'll go see what's keeping him. Are we getting together tonight?"

I smiled, "Thanks Seth. Yeah, movies. Remind that man of mine that it is his choice this time, so he better pick something good." Seth waved again at my parents and then headed out the door.

I went towards my room. "I'm going to lie down for a while. Please have Jake wake me when he gets here." They nodded at me and I closed the door behind me.

Something felt off. There was a pit in my stomach and I couldn't put my finger on exactly why I was feeling this way. I knew it was no big deal that Jake wasn't here, but it had never happened before. It felt almost like when a storm was approaching. The air pressure just felt heavy.

I put my head on the pillow and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. I woke to a warm hand lightly touching my cheek.

"You better wake up sleeping beauty or we are going to be late for the movie." The room was dark, but Jake's always seemed to make his own light. I quickly put my arms around his neck and pulled him to me. He kissed me quickly, but pulled away. "Come on Ness, get ready to go. I'll meet you in the living room." He reached back and removed my hold on him and exited my room.

That pit seemed to grow. I got up and put my shoes on, brushed my hair and looked at myself in the mirror. It was almost as if I could see a black cloud forming over my head.

I went into the living room and Jake, Seth and Quil were talking to my parents. It seemed cordial, but not as friendly as usual.

"I'm ready." I smiled and practically ran to Jake's side. He looked down at me and smiled, but not my usual smile. This one seemed forced.

"Let's go. See you guys later." Jake looked at my Dad and something unspoken passed between them. There was a look of sadness in my Dad's eyes. Suddenly Dad looked at me, having noticed that I was aware of their exchange.

Dad smiled at me. "Have a good time sweetheart. I'll see you when you get home."

With that, Jake took my hand and led me out the door. Seth and Quil ran ahead of us and I ran slower, hoping to figure out if there was a reason for this apprehension I was feeling.

"Jake, are you ok? Is something wrong?" Jake stopped then and wrapped his arms around me. His breathing was shallow and I felt the tension he was carrying.

"I'm fine Baby. I just have a lot on my mind." This was his standard answer, but this time felt different.

"You know you can talk to me about anything. I'm here for you." He quickly kissed me on the top of the head.

"Do me a favor and let's just drop it for tonight. I really have been looking forward to this movie and I don't want to have to go through the Spanish Inquisition before it starts." He chuckled it out, but his remark hurt. He seemed so unlike himself, it was like I was missing him even though he was standing right there.

He started to run then and I followed, staying several yards behind him. When we got to my car, Jake held his hand out for the keys and I held them above his hand, not dropping them. I was hoping that a little playful flirting might bring him out of his mood.

"You can have the keys for a kiss." I closed my eyes and stuck my lips out cartoonishly.

Jake gave me a quick peck, grabbed the keys and went to the driver's side without opening my door. "Get in Ness. We're going to be late." We all climbed into the car, Seth and Quil in the back seat. The three of them talked on the drive to Port Angeles. Seth and Quil would talk to me, but Jake just looked at the road.

When we got to the theater, I felt like what ever had been bothering him, he put on the back burner. He held my hand during the movie. He would lean in and kissed me. I placed my head on his shoulder and he put his head on mine, keeping me close.

The ride back home was great too. Jake held my hand, talked to me about my day, and about what I might want to do on my vacation. The pit in my stomach started to close.

Once we got home, however, the beginning of the evening repeated itself. Jake, Seth and Quil walked me home. Seth and Quil said good night and started to walk away to give us privacy, but Jake stopped them.

"Wait for me guys." He gave me a quick kiss. "I have plans tomorrow Ness, but I will be by on Sunday." He started to walk away. I suddenly felt a wave of panic hit me.

"Jake." I called after him. He turned to look at me, and the annoyed expression that covered his face sent a fissure through my heart. "I love you."

He smiled only half way and said, "Yeah. Love you too." Then turned he turned and they were gone.

I heard the door open behind me. I turned to look at my Dad. The tears I had been fighting spilled down my cheeks. Dad came out and pulled me into a hug.

"Did I do something wrong Dad?" I sobbed into his chest. "I don't know what I did."

Dad just held me tighter. "You didn't do anything Sweetheart. And what is going on with Jacob is far beyond either of your control. He is going through a major change right now. When he is ready he will talk to you about it, but for the time being, just try to be patient. Remember he loves you. When he is ready to share what is happening he will."

Dad walked me into the house and to my room. "Now go and get some sleep Sweetheart. You have had a long week. This won't seem so bad in the morning." He kissed my cheek and I attempted a smile.

I got ready for bed, climbing under the covers and tossed and turned for what seemed like hours. When sleep finally did come, the dream it brought with it made me wish I would have just stayed awake.

I was standing in the clearing where Jake and I had gone hunting that morning after my birthday. Jake was holding me, kissing me. Suddenly I heard a deep growl from behind me.

Jake looked over my shoulder and whispered, "Just stay behind me. I'll keep you safe." Suddenly I heard more growling and we were surrounded by Jake and Sam's packs. "I love you Baby. Don't forget that. No matter what happens. I will always love you. I'm so sorry."

Suddenly, Sam, in wolf form leaps at us. His teeth went into Jake's arm and he started to drag him away from me. The rest of the wolves pounced on him then and I screamed as they ripped him apart. Suddenly I was surrounded by darkness. I was alone. I couldn't see anything, but I started to walk forward. As I took a step, the ground disappeared under me and I was falling.

I woke up covered in sweat. The sun was just starting to turn the sky pink from the east. I was still tired, but I didn't want to go back to sleep, afraid of repeating that horrific dream. I knew Jake wouldn't be by today, so I decided that I wanted to drive to Estacada and see the rest of my family for the day.

I got up and showered, dressed and knocked on my parent's bedroom door. My mom came to the door, smiling. "Are you ok Nessie?"

"I'm fine, I was just wondering if you would mind if I go see the family today. I need to get away and clear my head a bit. It is freeways the majority of the way and I will drive safely." She opened the door more so I could see my father.

"Just promise you'll be careful. Be sure to give them all our love." Dad knew how troubled my thoughts were. A day away would do me good.

I blew Dad a kiss and gave Mom a hug. "I'll be back tonight. I love you ." And with that I was out the door running full speed to my car.

The drive went well and after a long talk with Uncle Jasper, I decided to give Jake space. He obviously was dealing with something that was personal and when he was ready to share it with me he would.

The rest of the term was hot and cold. Some days Jake was the man I knew and loved. Affectionate, thoughtful, funny. Other days he was a cold acquaintance that gave me pecks on the cheek and talked at me, not to me.

On the way home from our last final, my car started to make a strange thumping sound. I had called Jake to ask him if he would look at it. My Jake answered the phone.

"Sure Baby. Bring it by in the morning; I'll take a look at it. I miss you so much. I have to take care of some stuff tonight, but you can help me under your hood tomorrow." He laughed and I felt my heart speed up. "I love you. How were your finals?"

We talked the whole way home, and Seth was beaming in the seat next to me as we included him teasingly in the conversation. We ended the call as we pulled into the driveway. Seth and I congratulated each other on our first completed college term. He ran towards La Push and I ran home.

The next morning I woke, spent extra time on my hair and makeup. Jake and I hadn't seen a lot of each other lately and I wanted to make myself irresistible. I ran over to my car, got in and headed towards Jake's house. About a mile from Jake's my car sputtered and then just died.

I took a deep breath, turned my four way flashers on and took off through the woods towards Billy's little red house. I wasn't running fast and the wind shifted. Suddenly Jake's sent filled my nose. I wanted to surprise him, sneak up on him like I used to. I was down wind of him and as I approached I saw he was talking to Seth, Quil, Embry, Paul and Jared.

Jared reached out and patted Jake on the back. "We'll get it all figured out. You're not alone man. How about we head up to Sam's and Emily will make us breakfast and we can sort it out.

Jake raised his head and gave a quick nod. "That sound like a great…Shit. I told Nessie I'd look at her car today. God, you know by now I was hoping that I was done babysitting her and that she could handle some of this stuff herself. I've got so much of my crap to deal with right now. "

I stumbled backwards. Jake's words hit me like a gunshot. The pack was walking away from me. Suddenly Seth turned and saw me standing there. I was crying. I couldn't catch my breath. I looked at him, shook my head, silently begging for him not to reveal my presence, and ran back towards the main house. I ran in, up the stairs and threw open the door to my Dad's old room. There was money stashed all over this house, but this was where my emergency ID's were hidden too. I grabbed a bag out of the closet and filled it with my ID's and cash. I then ran to my Grandparent's room. I sat at my Grandparent's writing desk and quickly wrote a note.

_I realize now that I have depended on all of you too much. I do not want to be a burden to you. I am going away for a while to grow up and figure out how to stand on my own. I will pay you back what I have taken. _

_I love you all more than I can say. I am sorry for the trouble I have caused. Please take care of each other and I look forward to the day we will all be together again._

_All my Love,_

_Renesmee_

_PS. Please tell Jake I love him. I want to be the woman he can depend on, not one that he has to always take care of. Please tell him I'm sorry._

I ran downstairs and set it on the dining room table. Then I started to run. I didn't have a car, and even if I did, it would have been too easy to track. I would pick one up on the way. Jake's words continued to ring in my ears and the wind against my face dried my tears. I then started to wonder, how long before he missed me, and the worry that the relief of me leaving would be greater, fractured my heart even more.

I didn't know what had changed, but something had. Maybe it was the worry from the accident. Maybe it was the time we spent apart while I was at school. Maybe he was wrong about his imprint and just didn't know how to tell me. Whatever it was, when I came back to Forks, I would be a woman. I would be able to take care of myself.

But for the time being all I was, was heartbroken and alone.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 Does the Good of the Many Really Out Weight the Good of the Two?

Jacob

Nessie recovered quickly. I cannot tell you how relieved I was when she was walking around. It was decided that she would continue at school, but my one request was that Seth drive. I think that Nessie would have suggested that anyway, but she let me be the protective boyfriend and that made me feel better.

Edward and Bella got her a cute little Volvo convertible. It fit her much better than the Bugatti. I would find myself trying to keep busy while she was away. I had a lot of mechanic jobs lined up and the pack kept me occupied while Nessie was at school. Time passed quickly through the first few months. I should know by now not to get comfortable. That's when all hell breaks loose.

It was a typical Friday. I had gone to tell Nessie and Seth goodbye and was on my way back to my house when I heard someone approach me. I turned and it was Sam. I hadn't seen him for a few days, so I went to greet him, but the look on his face stopped me cold.

"What is it?" That look made all social pleasantries go out the window.

"Jacob, the elders and I need to talk to you. Before we go, I need you to know something. I love you like my brother. I would never want to cause you pain. Whatever decision you make when all of this is said and done, I will respect it and I will be there for you as much as I can."

I looked at him for a second and then I had to fight the urge to run away. Something big was about to happen. I felt it in my bones and my heart started to ache. "Sam. What is it?" I wanted to know before I was cornered in a room with the Elders.

"Come on Jake. They're waiting for us." Without another word, Sam started running toward the Res. I followed, lagging behind slightly. I didn't know what was going on, but I knew I didn't like it.

The Reservation has an administrative building. Kind of like a city hall. When we got there, Sam led me to a back meeting room. I had been to this room a few times to discuss the "State of the Pack".

Waiting in the windowless room for us was my Dad, Sue, and Quil's Grandfather. I walked in and sat in a chair closest to the door. Sam closed the door behind us and sat on the opposite side of the table, next to the others in the room.

No one would look at me. They were all staring at their hands. Finally I cleared my throat. I was going to get the ball rolling because the suspense was killing me.

"So what is going on? Sam was being all cryptic. Is there something regarding the Tribe's safety?" I was looking around to each of them. Only Sam had raised his eyes to look at me. Sadness and fear were all I saw as he stared at me. But it was my Dad who broke the silence.

"Jake, Sam came to us yesterday and told us he was going to quit phasing. So at the beginning of the year, your two packs are going to be merging."

I looked at Sam. He had given me no warning about this. "What brought this on? I thought that you had adjusted well to our lives here?"

Sam smiled slightly. "Emily's pregnant. I don't want to watch my wife and child grow old while I'm frozen in time." He looked back down to his hands.

"Ok so I get more members in my pack, you all act like you are delivering me a death sentence or something." I was relieved that this was all it was. It would take a little more time to coordinate everyone and we'd have more ground to cover, but it wasn't the end of the world.

My Dad looked up at me with tears in his eyes. "That's not all son. We have discussed the effect of having you as Alpha, with the imprint you have. Some of the Elders feel that Nessie is too big of a danger to the tribe. While she is here, threats will continue to come; we will continue to gain new members to the pack."

I looked at all of their faces now as they started to raise their eyes to me. There was sadness in Dad and Sam's eyes; hurt and anger in Sue's and Mr. Ateara's.

Sue finally spoke and when she did, her anger lashed out at me like a whip. "Because of Renesmee, my son was almost killed and my daughter left. Is it fair that your happiness gets to put the rest of the tribe's lives in danger and constant turmoil?"

"Some of us feel that you should ask Renesmee and the Cullens to leave. They have endangered us long enough. As Alpha, it is your responsibility to take the tribe's wellbeing into consideration in every aspect of your life. Having vampires and halfbreeds as close as they are will only cause more pain in the tribe and continue to put us in danger." Mr. Ateara's voice was full of anger.

I was confused for a second, and then that was replaced by pure rage. I started to shake and Sam came behind me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "Jake calm down; no decision has been made yet. Just try to calm down and let's get this resolved."

I looked at my Dad and the anger on his face now was directed at the other two members of the group. He looked back at me, trying to keep his voice calm. "Son, we are deadlocked in a decision. Two of us want you to send Nessie and the Cullens away. Then we can go back to our…" his voice was full of mocking, "nice, normal, peaceful way of being." He sent a glare at Sue and Mr. Ateara. Then my Dad looked at me. "And there are two of us who want you and Nessie to have a long and happy life together. We know that the rest of the pack would have to go through all the pain you would if Nessie was gone. "

Sue looked at me. "The choice then is yours." There was a pleading in her voice. "I ask you to please think about what is best for all of us and not just yourself. You are now the leader of this tribe, Jacob Black. And as leader, your needs and wants come second."

I put my head in my hands. I couldn't believe what they were saying to me. I knew how hard this life that has been forced upon me had been. I didn't want anyone else to have no choice in their future. At the same time, they were asking me to take who I lived for, my very reason for being and just throw her away. They were setting there asking me to break Nessie's heart. I had seen what time away from her was like. I had felt it. I was now being forced to take even more responsibility for my people and being asked to basically kill myself in the process. I felt the pressure hunch my shoulders.

I stood suddenly and hit the table. Sue and Mr. Ateara jumped back. I looked over the table at them. "How long do I have to decide?"

My Dad looked up at me, and the only other time I had seen him cry was when my Mom died, but a single tear escaped and ran down his cheek. "The first of the year. That is when Sam will stop phasing."

I turned and as I did Sue called after me, "Remember Jacob, our whole culture is in your hands."

My anger right then had a target. I turned and looked directly at her. "Sue, just remember, if you get the outcome you want in this, I will make sure that you are the one who has to tell your husband why he will never be able to see his daughter and granddaughter again. So I guess for you as well as me, this is a lose, lose situation." I turned then and ran out of the building, with Sam right behind me.

"Jake." He called and I stopped once we were in the trees.

"What Sam? What more does anyone want from me?" I slumped down to set on a fallen tree. Sam stood over me.

"I haven't told any of the others about all of this. It is up to you if you want their opinion or not, but the choice ultimately will fall on you." He knelt down to look me in the face.

"What would you do Sam? If you were me, what would you do?" At that moment, I wanted someone else to make the decision for me.

"All I can do is fall back on my experience. It wasn't pack related, but you saw what my imprinting on Emily did to Leah. The woman she became is nothing like the girl I once loved. And all of the pain we went through during our transformation. The thought that others could be saved from this screwed up life, well that kind of warms my heart." He chuckled. "But at the same time, I can't imagine what my life would be like without Emily. Even when I am away from her as I am now, I feel that part of me is missing." He put his arm around my shoulder. "I am not going to tell you what to do Jake. But what I will say is not one of those people in that room has ever felt for anyone the way that you feel for Renesmee or I feel for Emily. They are asking you to basically cut out your own heart. It will change you, and that will change the pack. Your pain and anger will seep into every one of them. So you are going to have to try to figure out the lesser of the two evils." Sam stood then and left me alone with my thoughts.

I went back home in a daze. I had been told my whole life that nothing was as important as the tribe. But that was before Nessie was born. I went to my room and lay on the bed. I was suddenly exhausted, but the pain took over and I couldn't hold back the tears. I cried myself to sleep.

The next thing I knew, Seth was bouncing on my bed.

"What the hell are you doing?" I snapped at him.

"You are in the dog house man. Nessie is a little pissed you weren't there to meet us. She told me to tell you that it was your turn to pick the movie and it better be good." I growled at him. "What?"

"Seth I don't have time for a movie right now. And I don't think it would be a good idea for me to be around Renesmee." I sat up and swung my legs to the floor.

"Since when do you call Nessie by her whole name? What's going on?" Seth sat next to me; looking at me waiting for an answer.

"I can't get into it right now, but fine, I'll play babysitter to the kids tonight." I was being a jerk, but I was mad at the world.

I dressed quickly and when I came out into the living room, Quil was waiting in the doorway. "Where are you guys going?"

"Movies, you want to come?" Seth was excited, I am sure, about being around someone in a better mood than me.

"Sure. Clare is staying with her grandparents tonight, I'm free." He shrugged his shoulders and started out the door.

We started running towards Nessie's, but Quil and Seth hung back.

"So what's going on with Mr. Personality tonight?" Quil laughed. "Normally he would be ecstatic about Nessie being on vacation."

"I think he just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He was fine this morning, but who knows. I'm sure he will be better once he gets his Nessie fix."

That sent a stabbing pain through my chest. I knew there was no way that I could just cut Nessie out of my life. So I would see how it went to distance myself. I would try tonight to see if I could start to slowly build a barrier between us. Rationally I was telling myself that her life would be better if she was to leave La Push. The whole world would be open to her. So I made up my mind. I would start to build that barrier.

We got to the cottage and Edward was waiting in the doorway. He motioned Quil and Seth inside and asked to speak to me for a moment.

"Jacob, I caught your thoughts on the way up here. What is going on? Why are you going to try to push Renesmee away?" There wasn't anger in his voice, he was more curious and worried than anything.

I put my hands in my pockets and looked down. "I've been given an almost impossible decision to make." I looked up at him, and though we had been advisories over the years, I respected his opinion. "Edward, do you think it is ever ok to put your own wants and needs ahead of your families?"

Edward smiled and I was sure he got the whole conversation from earlier involuntarily played back in my head, "Jacob, I think that what you will need to do is find a way around the decision. Fortunately, your wants and the tribe's wants are not mutually exclusive. I would think really long and hard about the conversation you had today. Try to make one particular member of the council's opinion change. There is something lost that can be recovered, and I think it would take the pressure off of you."

Great, Edward had turned into Yoda. "Is Nessie ready to go?"

"She asked for you to wake her when you got here. Go ahead." I walked into the house, and Edward followed. Then I proceeded into Nessie's room.

I took a deep breath and walked to her bed. She looked so peaceful. I was going to have to figure out a way to make this all work. Most importantly in the equation, Nessie could not know about the Elder's vote. I knew her well enough that she would take herself out of the equation to save me pain and I didn't want that.

I sat on the bed and slowly started to run my hand across her cheek. Her eyes flutter as she was coming out of her dream. "You better wake up sleeping beauty or we are going to be late for the movie." She opened her eyes and all my resolve started to crumble. I knew right there that there was no way I could live without her. I was going to have to find another way for this to work. Nessie wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me to her for a kiss. I didn't want to be distracted right then. I had a lot to figure out. I gave her a quick kiss and reached up to unlace her hands from the back of my neck. "Come on Ness, get ready to go. I'll meet you in the living room." That probably came out harsher than I wanted, but what can I say, I am not a very good actor.

I stood quickly and went to the living room. Everyone else was talking, but I was lost in my own world. I didn't even hear Nessie until she was beside me. "I'm ready." And she smiled up at me.

Suddenly the solution hit me. I would get Leah to come home. If Leah was home, that would probably change Sue's vote.

I looked to Edward, and although his eyes looked sad, he nodded slightly. "Let's go. See you guys later." I took Nessie's hand. Edward said something, but I didn't hear him. I was heading out the door. I was looking forward to the drive. I needed to think and driving was one of my favorite ways to do that.

Seth and Quil took off full speed for the main house. Nessie and I were still holding hands and she had slowed down. She stopped completely and looked up at me. "Jake, are you ok? Is something wrong?" Crap I wished I was a better actor.

I wrapped my arms around her and held her close. It felt so good to have her next to me. I don't know how I could have even thought of living my life without her. "I'm fine Baby. I just have a lot on my mind."

"You know you can talk to me about anything. I'm here for you." I kissed the top of her head, and I was unable to contain all the frustration from earlier, unfortunately they leaked out into my words to her.

"Do me a favor and let's just drop it for tonight. I really have been looking forward to this movie and I don't want to have to go through the Spanish Inquisition before it starts." And I just started to run then. I knew that I had said the wrong thing, but if I tried to take it back, I would have to explain everything. That was something I didn't want to have to do until all this crap was resolved.

When we got to the car, I put my hand out for the keys. I just wanted to be on the road so I could think. She held the keys above my hand. "You can have the keys for a kiss." She was teasing me, but I was not in the teasing mood. I kissed her quickly and took the keys from her, crossing to the driver's door.

"Get in Ness. We're going to be late." Everyone got into the car.

I was in my thinking zone. I occasionally would participate in the conversation when necessary, but I was putting together a plan to get Leah home and Sue to change her vote. By the time we got to Port Angeles and the theater, I felt much better. I was able to be myself again. I held her close to me, letting just the presence of her take away all the stress of the day. When the movie was over, we held hands the whole way home.

When we got pack to the cottage, I found myself back in planning mode. I needed to talk everything out with Sue tomorrow and try to find Leah. Seth and Quil started to go towards home. I needed to have a pack meeting tonight; there was an order I had to give.

"Wait for me guys." I called to them. I gave Nessie a quick kiss. "I have plans tomorrow Ness, but I will be by on Sunday." I didn't look back at her. I had too much to do, and I knew if I looked at her again, I would stay.

When we got into the trees, I stopped running and Quil and Seth came to stand in front of me.

"I need you guys to go and get Embry and meet me at First Beach. I need to have a pack meeting." They both silently nodded and headed towards La Push while I went straight to the beach.

Just as I got there, Seth, Quil and Embry were visible coming out of the trees at the edge of the beach. They all walked up to me silently; their eyes never leaving me.

"As of right now, you are all under orders to not be phased at the same time I am. The only exceptions are if someone's life is in imminent mortal danger, or I call for you to. Do you understand?" They all nodded their heads looking confused. I didn't want them knowing what was going on until the time was right. "I will be able to explain everything soon; I just have a few things to take care of. Seth, I will be distant for a while, so I need you to keep an extra eye on Nessie for me."

"Of course Jake." He wanted to ask more, but he knew better.

"Tomorrow, I will be phased all day. Meet me here again at 8:00 tomorrow night and I will give out patrol assignments." I turned then and ran towards home.

The next morning my talk with Sue went well. She agreed that if I could get Leah to come home and stay home, she would change her vote. So my hunt was on.

For the next few weeks, I searched for Leah. She was there, I could hear her, but she was being stubborn. Poor Nessie had to put up with so many mood swings from me. I was keeping this secret from all the people close to me and it sucked beyond belief.

Finally, the week before Nessie was out of school for Christmas break, I got Leah to agree to come home. She had a whole list of demands; added responsibility in the pack, things for her house and for me to be her errand boy. Of course I agreed to everything and she came home.

Sue called an emergency meeting and changed her vote, and Mr. Ateara also said he could understand that he had been hasty with his decision.

So I spent the rest of that week, running around, trying to keep Leah happy. We had agreed to keep her return quiet, but on Friday, I told her it was time to bring her back into the pack. I was just leaving her house when my phone rang.

Nessie was having problems with her car and needed me to look at it. I missed her so much and now that the Leah problem was under control, I was feeling like my old self again. I told her to bring it by the next day, and we talked for the rest of her drive home. I had told her I had a pack meeting later that night and I wouldn't see her until the morning.

I then went to Sam and Emily's. I told Sam it was time to let both packs know the change that was coming. He went around, gathered his pack and we all met in the woods outside of my house.

They all welcomed Leah back, but she was still stand offish.

"I need everyone to phase. My previous order has been rescinded."

Both packs phased and then Sam spoke to his pack.

_I am no longer your Alpha. You will belong to the pack of Jacob Black. _

Suddenly voices crowded my head all talking on top of each other.

_STOP._ I ordered and it was quiet. Then I replayed all the events of what had happened.

_You could have just told us Jake. There is no way in Hell we would ever make you give up Nessie. _Seth was the first to respond.

_Wait a minute. Is that the only reason you asked me to come back? You wanted me to help you keep your little half breed? _Leah then bombarded us with images of her running away again.

_Leah Clearwater, you are ordered to stay on this reservation. You may not leave unless you have permission from me. _I had had enough. I had gone through a month of hell because of her.

_Fine. _Leah became very quiet then.

After rehashing everything, we all went off to our homes. I assigned Paul and Leah to patrol. But I told them to each make individual loops. Paul was my brother in-law after all. I didn't want to torture him too much.

I went home and got the first good night's sleep I had had in a long time. I woke up to a pounding on the front door.

I dressed and opened the door to see Paul standing there, seething. "Can you please meet us out in the woods?"

I followed him and was met by Seth, Quil, Embry, and Jared. They all shared the same rage filled look.

"What's up guys?" I actually had to stile a laugh because the expressions on their faces were pure frustration.

Paul was the one to explain. "So last night we are doing our patrol. Leah was quiet for the majority of the night. Then right as the sun was coming up, she phases back to two legs. I ran over to see what she is doing and I find her outside my house, a large knife in her hand and she is slashing my tires. I asked her as calmly as I can 'What the fuck do you think you are doing?' And she proceeds to tell me that if she can't leave La Push, none of us can."

I slowly looked at all of them then. "She got all of your tires?"

Jared nodded his head. "Sam's too." I put my head down and let my frustration take over. Jared patted me on the back. "We'll get it all figured out. You're not alone man. How about we head up to Sam's and Emily will make us breakfast and we can sort it out."

I gave him a quick nod. "That sounds like a great…" before I could finish my sentence I remembered that I had made plans with Nessie. All I wanted to do was be with her and now I have to deal with more crap from Leah. "Shit. I told Nessie I'd look at her car today. God, you know by now I was hoping that I was done babysitting her and that she could handle some of this stuff herself. I've got so much crap to deal with right now." We all started to walk out of the woods, but I noticed that Seth had stopped.

I turned to look at him and he slowly turned his head towards me. There was horror and tears in his eyes. He then turned away from me, quickly undressed and phased, running deeper into the trees towards the main road. The rest of us followed suit, not sure what he saw.

_No. No. NO._ Seth was panicking as he got closer to the road.

_What did you see Seth? What is it?_ He then replayed Nessie's face as she heard the words I'd said. She had thought I was talking about her. I caught her scent and surpassed Seth, only to find her car on the side of the road, empty with the hazard lights on.

_The cottage._ I said and we all ran there, but it was empty. The only other place I could think she could be was the main house. We got there faster than I think we ever had. We all phased back and started calling her name, searching rooms. I was up in Edward's old room when I heard Embry call my name.

When I got downstairs they were all surrounding the dining room table. Embry handed me a note written in Nessie's handwriting. I read it, but I had to read it three more time before it hit me. She was gone.

I stepped back, hitting the wall behind me. I slid to the floor as my legs gave out. I had done everything I could think of to make this all work out, and then I went and screwed it up anyway.

Tears filled my vision and the ringing in my ears was deafening. I could only say one thing. "Renesmee."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 – One is the Loneliest Number

Renesmee

I ran all the way to Port Angeles as close to the road as possible, hoping that the cars and trucks would make it harder for me to be tracked.

I didn't like leaving this way, but I could tell by what Jacob said and how he said it, staying was no longer an option. I had three different sets of false ID's in my bag as well as about $30,000. That made me a little nervous, but let's faces it; a mugger wouldn't stand a chance.

Once I got to Port Angeles, I went to the Amtrak Station. I accessed the internet on my cell phone; I had three cities in mind where I would go, all close enough to family where I felt safe, but big enough that I could hide. I did a name search in Portland for Vanessa White. There were five listed in the white pages, so instantly I made up my mind. Portland it was. And I would, for the time being, be Vanessa White. I knew I needed to get off the streets. Once I was in a car or on a train, Jacob and the rest of them couldn't track me. I would have bought a car here, but Jake knew most of the dealers from side jobs he had done. There wasn't a direct train from Port Angeles to Portland so I ran to the window and bought a ticket for the train to Seattle that had just called final boarding.

I made it just as the porter was removing the stairs onto the train. I hurried and got my seat, putting my head against the window and fought back tears. As the train was pulling out slowly, I saw them. They ran to the platform and stopped as the end of my train passed by them. Jake and Seth were looking around frantically. My parents would be stuck at home because it was a beautiful sunny December day. As their figures became smaller I could see Jake bend down and put his hands on his knees. It was a position that I had seen many times when he was frustrated. This hopefully would be the last time I brought about that posture.

I closed my eye and just went numb as the movement of the train soothed me. I was ashamed of the way I had left, but there was no going back now.

The trip to Seattle went quickly and I found myself on the train platform trying to decide if I should buy a car here, or wait until I got to Portland. I didn't want to draw any clues to my new location, so I decided to buy a car and drive down. That way if they did get lucky and were able to track a bill of sale, it would be here and not where I was.

There was a dealer just down from the train station. On the lot was a bright red 1999 Volkswagen Jetta. It looked straight and in pretty good condition. Jake had taught me enough that I knew what questions to ask and I knew what to look and listen for. I offered the Dealer $3500 cash and he took it willingly. I needed to get on the road.

Portland was still a risky city to go to. The rest of my family would only be about 20 miles from me, but I had the luxury of being able to be outside when they had to be in. I knew where they frequented and I knew that if I got into trouble, they would be close.

It took me four hours to get to my destination. The first thing on my list was finding a house, then a job. I would put school on the back burner for a while. I didn't have enough money to live and go to school; beside, the whole point of this was to grow up.

I knew which neighborhood I wanted to live in. On one of my last shopping trips with Aunt Alice, she took me to the Hawthorn District. I had loved the atmosphere. Aunt Alice said "I've lived through the hippie years once; I don't want to do it again." So I knew that there was little chance of me running into my family there. It was a pretty self-contained area too. I knew that I would be able to find a job, and there were a lot of older homes that had been converted into apartment.

I took the exit that dropped me into downtown Portland and I took the Hawthorn Bridge across the Willamette River. I started looking for FOR RENT signs. I was still too close to downtown, but I looked anyway. I drove past small markets and pubs. Then I got into the heart of the district. I found a parking spot and started to walk. There was a community bulletin board on a wall next to a small bar. There were items for sale, weight loss gimmicks, and then I saw it.

_For Rent _

_Studio Apartment. Part of a six apartment house. Private entrance. Top floor. Great Neighbors._

_$525 a month._

The flyer looked brand new and all of the phone number tear offs were still intact. I took out my cell phone. This would have to be the last call I made from this phone. I didn't want them to start tracking me. I would go tomorrow and get a new one.

I got the address and it was just three blocks from the main street through the district. I walked to the house and I stood for a second looking at it. It was white, three stories and had huge white pillars framing a large front porch. It reminded me of the southern mansions Uncle Jasper had told me about from his childhood. There was a set of stairs that led up to a door on the third floor. That must be it. The man I talked to on the phone told me to knock on his door, #1, and he would show me the place. I went up the porch steps, opened the front door and immediately to my left was #1. I knocked and I heard someone walking quickly towards the door.

The door opened and standing there was a very attractive man. He in his early twenties stood about six feet two, black hair and crystal blue eyes. His facial features were soft and friendly, and his body, well it couldn't rival Jake's but it wasn't bad for a mortal. He smiled at me and I realized I had better introduce myself.

"Hi. I just called you about the apartment." I put my hand out. "I'm Vanessa White."

He took my hand and quickly shook it. "Brian Reese; nice to meet you. Just one second and I'll grab the keys." He jogged back around a partition, which I assumed led to the kitchen. He returned, smiling, jingling the keys in front of him. Something about his personality reminded me of Seth and that calmed me slightly.

I stood back and let him lead the way. I followed him up the stairs and through the door to the apartment. It was a large room, with no separation between the main living space and the kitchen. The kitchen had a small refrigerator and an even smaller range. It had windows on all the walls which made it very light. I walked into the bathroom and it had a porcelain claw foot tub with a shower head that jetted out high above the tub on the wall. There was a pedestal sink and mirror and that was all.

I walked back out to Brian. "I'd like to take it. Is there paperwork that needs to be filled out?"

Brian smiled at me. "Well you see the thing is, this my family's building. I am managing it, and I go more by getting to know a person rather than an application." He smiled at me and suddenly I was very nervous. "Tell me about yourself. Are you from the area?"

"Actually, I am from a small town in Alaska. My extended family is there, but I've been without immediate family for a while. I just decided that I needed to change, new scenery." I smiled. The lie about my family made my heart hurt.

"Do you have a job lined up?" Brian's smile seemed to cover his whole face.

"That's next on my list. Don't worry, I have plenty of savings to last for some time and I will start looking for work this afternoon." I really wanted to stay here. Something about Brian and the apartment made me feel safe.

"Well Miss White, I am a person who goes on my gut instincts. So as long as you have first and last month's rent, welcome to the neighborhood." He held the keys out to me.

I took them and retrieved my wallet from the duffle bag, careful to conceal the contents. I had transferred some of the money to my wallet just for this purpose. I counted out $1050, and handed it to Brian.

Brian took out his own wallet and placed the money inside. "I'll have a receipt for you when I get back to my place." He looked up at me and smiled. "You know, I might be able to help you with that job shortage you have too. Stacy, the tenant in #3, works at the Bagdad and they are short a counter person. And I work at the Starlight as a bartender, and we are short a waitress. You are 21 right?

Luckily we had my ID's redone right after my last birthday, putting me at 21. It made it easier when you had to disappear if you didn't have restrictions.

"I just turned 21 in September. I don't have any real work experience, but I learn fast and I'm not afraid of work if that helps."

His smile widened even more, which I didn't think was physically possible. "Why don't we go downstairs, I will get you your receipt and then I'll introduce you around. Are you going to need help bringing up your stuff? Where did you park?"

"I really don't have anything but this and my car. I parked down the way and walked." He looked at me as if my admission had piqued his curiosity. But he didn't pursue it. He just ushered me out the door and down the stairs. When I got to the bottom, I looked up at my new home. I tried to let the excitement take over and scour out my profound sadness. I already miss Jake. I wish that he was here with me and that this was our home. For the first time in my life, I wished that I was normal. Because if I was normal, I wouldn't know what it was like to have been the imprint of the most amazing person on the planet. But most importantly, I wouldn't know what it was like to lose him. I pulled up the collar of my coat as a cold breeze tickled my neck.

For the first time in my life, I felt cold.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17- Please Just Let Me Explain.

Jacob

I got myself back on my feet. She didn't have that much of a head start and hopefully we could stop her before she got farther.

"Jared, Embry go and find Bella and Edward. We know they aren't at the cottage, so they must be hunting because it is too sunny for them to be in public. Paul, Quil go and deliver Leah to Sam. Tell him what happened, all of what happened. I want Leah delivered to her mother and for Sue to know she is her responsibility. I can't worry about her right now. Then ask Sam to come here and wait for all of us get back. If Edward and Bella get back before we do, do what they need done." I paused, "And tell them I'm sorry." My voiced cracked, but I didn't have time to fall apart now. "Seth, we're going to follow her scent. Hopefully we can catch up to her. We all ran out in opposite directions, stripping our clothes and phasing.

_It looks like she went toward Port Angeles. The diesel from the trucks are messing with her scent though._ We were running almost parallel with the road, following her scent. Seth was getting frustrated. _You don't think she did that on purpose do you?"_

_I think that is exactly what she did. _For the first time, Nessie's level of intelligence pissed me off instead of made me proud. _I don't believe this is happening. I was trying so hard for her not to know what had been going on, but then as usual, I go and screw everything up._

_This wasn't your fault Jake. I should have stopped her. It was just the look on her face, _he replayed it in his mind and it made me wince, _I think it stunned me for a minute. But we'll catch up to her and explain. It will be fine._

We made it to the outskirts of Port Angeles and phased back, dressing. We continued to follow her scent, but it was getting more difficult the closer we got to the city. But I suddenly became aware of where we were and I knew where she had gone to.

"She's at the train station. She'd want to get off foot ASAP, but she wouldn't risk buying a car here." Her sent still lingered in the air as we entered the station, leading us to the ticket window. We then ran full speed to the platform. Her sent disappeared when we reached the trains. I noticed one train in the distance to my right and one that was just leaving to my left. I leaned down and put my hands on my knees.

Seth put his hand on my back. "Let's find out where those two trains were headed. She has to be on one of them."

I didn't move for a minute, fighting back tears. "Shit" I muttered under my breath. I then slowly stood and we went to look at the departure board. One train was going to Seattle, which she probably wouldn't have taken because she had enough of a head start she could have just run there, and the other was headed to Billings, Montana, with lots of stops on the way.

I started to shake and Seth led me out of the building. "Let's go back to the Cullen's and see what they think and if they've heard anything. We'll find her."

As soon as we got to the forest perimeter that surrounded the city, we phased. We cut through the trees and made much better time on the way back. When we came into the house, Bella ran to me and pulled me into a hug. That was more than I could take. I collapsed to the floor. Guilt, regret, and fear over took me. "I'm so sorry Bella. I'm so sorry."

"Shh, Jake, this wasn't your fault. It was just a huge misunderstanding and really bad timing. Not the first time it has happened to us." She got on her knees in front of me and took my face in her hands. "Renesmee loves you, and she loves her family. She thinks she is doing what is best for us right now. But I also know how much we all depend on each other. Not for all the trivial stuff, but for maintaining who we are. She will come home, but in the meantime, we will do everything we can to find her and let her know she made a completely wrong assumption."

I was starting to gain some composure. Edward came in then and I stood. "I'm sorry Edward." I Looked at the floor, afraid of any accusation he would have on his face.

"Jacob, I am very proud of the way you handled the situation you were presented with the past month. Unfortunately, none of us in this family have the best timing and we always seem to draw the wrong conclusions about things. We will find her and it will be fine." He then took Bella into his arms and kissed her. He looked into her eyes and then drew her closer to him and looked at me. "I just got off the phone with the family. They are on their way. What did you find?"

"We followed her trail all the way to the Amtrak station in Port Angeles. She boarded a train either going to Seattle or Billings."

Sam came in then, followed by Charlie. Sam put his arm around me and led me to a chair. "Why don't you sit down? I'll get you something to drink."

Everyone came into the living room then and took seats. Charlie sat next to Bella. "I issued an APB, but even with my authority, not nearly enough time has passed for me to do much more. What do we know if anything?"

Edward filled him in on the details they knew from me then he added some of his own. "For security purposes, we all have five sets of alternate identification. She took all of hers, plus about $30,000 in cash."

Charlie and I both put our heads down at the same time. Crap, she really did want to disappear. How the hell would we find her now? Charlie cleared his throat and looked at me.

"Jake, Sue feels horrible about what's been going on. She, Sam and Leah filled me in on everything before we came over here. I am so sorry. But I know how much Nessie loves you, and while I don't understand it, nor do I want to, you guys are two halves of a whole. She will be back."

"Thanks Charlie. Tell Sue thank you too, and the best thing she can do for me right now is to keep Leah as far away for me as possible."

Charlie nodded his head and looked back to Bella. "I'm going to go back to the station and see if I can't put some more feelers out. Let me know if you hear anything." He hugged her and stood, patting me on the shoulder before heading out the door.

We all sat in silence for what must have been hours, because the sound of tires on gravel brought us all to our feet. We saw Emmett's Escalade and Carlisle's Mercedes follow the drive around the house, towards the garage and less than ten seconds later, the six of them were standing in the living room.

Rosalie was glaring at me, but the rest of the family came and hugged me, asking how I was holding up. We filled them in on all the details and then we all gathered around the dining room table trying to brainstorm where she could have gone.

"I think she probably went as far away as she could. I know that if someone had hurt me like that, I wouldn't want to be within a thousand miles of them." Blondie looked right at me, and I was seriously thinking about leaping across the table to vent some of my frustration on her.

Edward took care of it though. "Enough Rose. If you can't be helpful, then go upstairs and leave us alone. There has been enough unintentional damage done without you causing some on purpose. Now I need real ideas, places to start."

We were all quiet, thinking and when Jasper spoke, we all jumped. "I don't think she will go far. She has never been away from us, and I know that thought of it scares her. My best guess is that she will either go to Seattle or Olympia. She might even end up in Portland, because we are so close to there. She would want to know that she had a backup plan if she needed it. Nessie is impulsive, but strategic. She is not going to run around halfcocked without thinking and planning for worst case scenarios. She's also a romantic. My best guess is that even though she ran from you Jacob, she wants you to find her. It won't be long before she starts dropping breadcrumbs for you to stumble across."

"That sound like Nessie. On our drives back and forth to school, she would talk about how she wanted to experience different things, but she would always talk about all of us doing it together, or her and Jake going places." Seth looked at me. "I'll help you look for those breadcrumbs man until she's home."

"I think that Jasper is right also. Nessie can be impulsive and stubborn, but she is not stupid. She knows that while who we are gives us freedoms, it also limits and isolates who we can let in our lives. My guess is we can cross Seattle off the list because she knows people there. So I would think she is in a large city either in Washington, Oregon, Idaho, Montana or possibly California. She is going to want to be somewhere she can get back to us quickly." Carlisle put a comforting arm around Esme as he spoke.

Alice looked around the table. "So I guess we just have to wait."

Wait. I didn't like that idea at all. But the reality was that our search radius was too big and she would have to come back when she was ready, or when she wanted me to find her.

"Well that is not exactly what I'm suggesting. I will contact a private investigator I've used before with Nessie's aliases and have him keep an eye out for any suspicious activity. But I think she is going to start to drop those breadcrumbs soon." Jasper looked at me, "She can't stay away from you and not feel pain. She needs you. She needs all of us. I hope that you understand that Jacob. Edward told me what you have been going through. The choice you had to make. I wanted to let you know that I am proud of you, how you handled everything." Then he smiled, "But fate can be a real bitch sometimes."

We all laughed, but there was no enjoyment in it or in the room. By the time we finished our brainstorming session, it was getting dark. "Go home Jake. Get some sleep." Edward led me to the door and my pack followed. They all escorted me home and Dad was waiting for me when I walked in.

"Any news son?" His eyes were pleading.

"No, nothing. I just have to hope that I can bring her home soon. Dad, I don't know what I am going to do without her. It's like I can't breathe." I slumped on the couch and he wheeled over to me.

I put my head in my hands, fighting the tears I would let flow when I was alone. Dad put his hand on my shoulder. "You are strong son. You will get through this and she will come back to you. You deserve happiness. I am so sorry that I could not prevent this happening. I tried everything…" his voice trailed off with regret.

I looked up at him and half smiled. "This is not your fault Dad. I know that you did everything you could. Now I guess we just have to be patient and keep the faith." I stood, because I was about to lose it and I didn't want my Dad to see me that way. "I'm going to get some sleep." I hugged him quickly and went to my room.

As I lay in bed, I wondered where Nessie was. Was she safe? Was she alone? God I hoped she wasn't scared. The tears came then and I took a picture I had of her on my nightstand and held it so the moonlight could make it more visible. When she came home, not if, but when, I was going to do things so differently. There would be no more waiting. There would be no room for her to doubt me or us. I would tell her and show her every minute of every day how much I loved her.

I ran my finger over her face in the picture, letting the tears finally break free. I whispered, "I love you baby. Don't give up on me. Please just come back to me so I can have a chance to make this right. Stay safe." When the dam of my emotions finally broke there was no stopping it. And as I finally floated to my Nessie in my dreams it was on a river of tears.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18- She Works Hard For The Money

Renesmee

After Brian introduced me to my neighbors, I decided that I would stay in a hotel for the night and get an early start in the morning. I needed at least a bed and some clothes.

I drove back down Hawthorne towards downtown and went to Lloyd Center Shopping Mall. Aunt Alice and I had gone there many times on my visits and I knew the stores well. I transferred more money into my wallet and locked my duffle bag in the trunk. I was parked in the parking structure and entered the mall through Macy's. I quickly picked up some sheets, towels and kitchen things, deposited them into my car and headed back into the mall for clothes. I went to Victoria Secret and picked up some underwear. I had never had the guts to do this when shopping with my family. But this time I went a little overboard. I was imagining what Jake would think of them. I found myself picking things out I knew he would like, even though the possibility of him seeing them seemed remote now. I was floating through the mall in a state of denial. Anytime the reality of my leaving started to creep in, I'd find a way to push it out again. After I had about ten bags of clothes and shoes, I headed back towards my new apartment. I dropped off the things I had bought, only leaving some pajamas and a change of clothes in the car. I then headed to a store Brian had suggested would give me a good deal on a mattress. I got just a box spring, mattress and bed frame. I had already spent too much on clothes and I really didn't need more than that. They agreed to deliver and set it up for me at 9:30 the next morning.

On Brian and Stacy's suggestions, I stopped by the Bagdad and the Starlight to get job applications on my way to my hotel for the night. The Bagdad was a movie theater that also had live music and comedy shows. It had a restaurant and bar attached and after a certain time of night, it became a 21 and over establishment. It looked like it belonged in the 1920's. There were murals painted on the walls and ornate chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Stacy was working and introduced me to the manager. He looked to be early twenties and extremely tall and rail thin with Jet black hair. His name was Evan and he was friendly and very quick witted. I like him a lot and we talked for about twenty minutes before he handed me the application.

"This really is just a formality Vanessa. The job is yours if you want it." He affectionately grabbed my arm as he spoke.

"Please call me Nessie. And of course I want it. Thank you so much." I liked the atmosphere here and I could see me passing the time easily.

"Nessie. That's cute. Like the sea monster." I smiled at him, but fought back a tear as the memory of how I got my nickname washed over me. "So can you start day after tomorrow?"

"That would be great. I'll bring this back tomorrow if that's okay?" I held up the paper.

"Perfect. You can fill out all the paper work then too so you won't have to deal with it later." Well one job down.

I walked the short distance down to the Starlight. It was dark now and the sound of Blues music came drifting out of the building that was still half a block away. I walked in and felt a little shell shocked. This was my first time ever in a bar. I had never had alcohol, and both Jake and my Dad would kill me if they knew I was here. Or at least I knew one of them would.

Brian was working behind the bar. He smiled and waved me over as I entered. I sat down and he threw a glass up and caught it.

"What can I get ya? Shirley temple? Roy Roger? Screaming Orgasm?" I giggled must have blushed because he just smiled and winked at me.

"Actually I'm looking for that job you mentioned to me. But I'll take a coke in the meantime."

"Hey there, slow down. We don't allow party animals in here." He poured me a coke and put a piece of paper on the counter. "Well it just so happens that today is your lucky day, because not only am I your landlord, I am the manager in this establishment. You working here is a win, win situation for me. I can work the hell out of you, thus making sure I get my rent."

"I've never waitressed before." I warned him, but he just shook his head.

"As you can tell, we are a very laid back crowd. The average age in here is 45. And the majority of them are regular locals who come to listen to the music more than anything. When you get to know them, you can place their order without even asking and they tip really well."

"Well thank you Brian. You've been my lucky charm it seems." I reached in my purse for my wallet. "How much do I owe you for the coke?"

"Nothing, just be here tomorrow at 4:30. Did you get the Job at the Bagdad too?"

I smiled, "Yeah."

"Well Evan and I are pretty good friend. I'll give him a call and we will coordinate your schedule. Where are you staying tonight?" Suddenly, I felt a little uncomfortable. I wasn't naïve enough to think that this was all good luck.

"I'm staying at a hotel tonight. It has been a really long drive and it will be my last splurge for a while. Speaking of which, I am tired. I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks again Brian, for everything." I grabbed the application and stood.

"No problem Vanessa. Get a good night's sleep."

"Please call me Nessie, Brian. I've been called that so long, I don't know if I'll even answer to Vanessa anymore."

"Well then, till tomorrow Nessie."

I left and walked back to my car. I drove back to downtown and stayed at one of the hotels by the convention center. I missed my home, I missed my parents but the worst part was without Jake, I felt like half of me was missing. I fell asleep crying, rubbing my necklace.

When I woke the next morning, I felt like I had been beat up. So much had happened in a twenty four hour period that it didn't seem possible. My whole life had changed.

I showered and got dressed. I left the hotel and drove to my apartment. It was still only 8: oo when I got there, so I decided to walk to the Starbucks on the corner for a Mocha. There were very few human foods I liked, but coffee was one of them. After getting my fix to go, I walked back and started to unpack my bags from the mall. There was a small alcove in the back of the room by the bathroom with a dowel place in to make a makeshift closet. I had forgot to buy hangers, and there were no drawers for all my newly purchased underwear, so I removed the tags, folded everything nicely and stacked them on the floor of the closet.

I unpacked the kitchen wares in the three cabinets and two drawers that were available. Luckily there was a department store just down the street. After my bed arrived my plan was to go and get some cleaning supplies and necessities.

I was shocked when my bed was delivered right on time. After the men set it up, I handed them a tip and they looked at me like I had two heads. I made my bed and realized I had forgotten to buy a pillow and a blanket.

I walked the two blocks to the Fred Meyer's. It was a one stop store. I got some cleaning supplies, the rest of the bedding I needed, personal hygiene and paper products.

When I got home I put everything away, looked around and started to cry. I was proud of what I had accomplished, but there was no one to share it with. I went to my purse and pulled out my wallet. In the change compartment was a picture of Jake. I took it not too long before I started school. I looked at it through my tears and ran my finger across his face. "I miss you." Then I started to talk to him like he was really here. "So what do you think? I did good huh?" I slumped down on the bed and sighed.

I had filled out the applications last night in the hotel and I had nothing else to do but wait. I decided that I might as well go and hunt while I had time. I could be to the forest in about twenty minutes.

I got dressed in a pair of low rise jeans, a red turtleneck and a denim vest. I put on a pair of white running shoes and headed out the door, grabbing my coat. I didn't think about where I was going, but as I got closer to where I would hunt, I started to wonder if my family would be there hunting too. I decided to drive farther up the mountain to one of the ski resorts. I parked at the farthest edge of the lot, closest to the tree. I quickly exited my car and disappeared from view. I ran for about thirty minutes until I was sure I was away for any humans. I got the scent of an elk herd ahead and easily took down a female and a buck.

By the time I got back to my car it was 1:00 and I decided to head back home, park my car and make my rounds at my new employment. I left the car at home because I was able to find a parking spot right in front of the house. On street parking was all that was available, so I was very happy for such a prime spot.

I walked to the Bagdad and talked to Evan while I did my paperwork. Brian and Evan had completely coordinated my schedule, so I was working six days a week and splitting my time evenly between the two places. I left telling Evan I would see him the next day and walked down to the Starlight. It was a Sunday afternoon, so the place was pretty much dead. Brian was patient and showed me the ropes. As the clients picked up, I started to get the hang of things.

And so began my new life. If I wasn't slinging pizza and beer at the Bagdad, I was carrying drinks at the Starlight. The next few weeks were semi tolerable. I enjoyed spending time with my new friends, but they weren't Seth. I liked my new house, but my parents and family wasn't there. Brian occupied a lot of my free time with movies and coffee, but he wasn't even close to being Jake.

Two days before Christmas there was a huge snow storm. Portland, even with being at the base of a mountain, doesn't get them very often. The whole city came to a standstill. Most places closed due to lack of business, but Evan decided to keep the Bagdad open so the people in the neighborhood had somewhere to go. I was working the counter, and selling tickets too. Not a big fete since we had about fifteen customers. I heard the bells from the beginning of the movie chime through the open doors of the theater. "It's a Wonderful Life" was the matinee.

I looked across the street and at first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. But then I knew what I was seeing was real. Coming out of a small New Age store across the street from where I stood was my Uncle Jasper closely followed by Uncle Emmett. I held my breath as I watched them. I wanted to run across the street shouting "I'm here" and I almost did too, but Jake's words came back into my head. I stayed firmly planted to my spot. If I was meant to go home now, they would see me. Just then a customer opened the door next to me. I saw Uncle Jasper start darting his head around. They had caught my scent. I quickly crouched under the counter. I waited a few beats and then I peeked over the counter and they were still there arguing. Maybe it was just wishful thinking that they had caught my scent.

Uncle Emmett stuck his hand in his pocket and headed down the street. Uncle Jasper stayed for a second. I was still hiding under the counter, just peeking over so I was hidden. His eyes were still searching, and then he focused on the marquee to the theater. His eyes slowly scanned down and I could see the pain and frustration in his eyes. He then sighed and followed Uncle Emmett down the street.

When I was sure they were out of sight, I wiped a tear away. "Merry Christmas. I love you guys." I whispered and went back to work.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 – Merry Christmas Darling

Jacob

The next two weeks seemed to last for years. The Cullens headed back to Oregon, but Bella and Edward stayed. They wanted to be here in case Nessie came home.

I got into a routine that I hated. I would wake up after only about three hours of sleep a night. I would toss and turn all night, wondering where Nessie was, if she was safe, if she was alone and worst of all if she wasn't. In the morning, after I would do my best zombie impression while taking a shower and eating breakfast, I went to work on integrating Sam and my packs. Sam had given up Alpha power, but there were still difficulty getting all of our members to communicate. It was getting better though. After working with the pack, I would work on any mechanic jobs I had lined up for a few hours. Then I would run to the Cullen's big house to check to see if Nessie had decided to come home. When I found it empty, I would head to the cottage, where Bella, Edward and Seth would be waiting. I would walk in and Edward would say, "Nothing yet" and then I would plop down on the couch while Bella cooked dinner for Seth and I. We would spend the rest of the evening making small talk and then Seth and I would phase, run the perimeter a few times. Finally I would drag myself home, talk to my Dad for a few minutes and go to bed, only to start all over again.

This morning I woke up and looked at my watch. My heart sunk when I realized the day. December 21st. Alice, Blondie, Carlisle and Esme would be coming today to get the house ready for Christmas. Since Nessie was born, we had made a big production of Christmas. Alice went decoration crazy. Everyone spent way too much money, and the pack took advantage of the Cullen's efforts to make things as normal and traditional as they could. Esme baked cookies and always made a huge dinner on Christmas. We all came together, initially for Nessie, but after all this time, it just wouldn't seem right if we didn't now. I think we were going all out this year, hoping for a Christmas miracle.

So today my routine went out the window. Seth knocked on my door at 9 am. I was dressed and ready.

"Is Edward meeting us as the house?" Seth looked tired. He and I had been great company in our misery.

"Yeah, yeah had to pick up the saw." Seth turned, walked out the door and I followed.

"I'm just not feeling it this year man. This really is the last thing I feel like doing." Seth started to jog as we got to the edge of the tree line.

"Me either, but if Nessie does decide to come home for Christmas, we want her to have it seem like always. Or at least that's what they tell me." We didn't run as fast as we could. I think we both had been dreading this day ever since Alice and Edward told us we should continue traditions as if she was here.

When we got to the house, the doors to the garage were open and the light was on. The clouds were dark and a few snowflakes were starting to break free. Last year it had snowed the night before we did this and it was crystal blue skies. Nessie and I had gotten into one hell of a snow ball fight. The sky today seemed to echo the contrasts between the two days perfectly.

We walked into the garage and Edward was putting oil into the chainsaw. He didn't look up, but he sighed.

"I know that neither of you want to do this, but it is what we should do. I think we will all feel better if we keep things as normal as we can." He laughed and shook his head. "Normal. That's ironic huh?" He looked up and there was pain in his eyes. Nessie's absence had taken its toll on him as well. "Besides, Bella and Alice really need this. They haven't shown it as much, but on the inside they have been slowly coming apart. Please try to remember that while we go about trying to get the Christmas spirit in this house."

He crossed in front of us with the chainsaw in his hand and ran out towards the trees. Seth and I followed. Edward and Bella had been out the day before to find the perfect tree. Edward knew exactly where he was going. It was our job, as it was every year to get the tree on December 21st and then come home, set it up and work on the rest of the decorations as the women decorated the tree. We men were just the elves sent out to perform various tasks.

We cut down a 9 ft Douglas Fir and Seth and I each grabbed an end. We carried it in silence as the snow started to pick up. Just as we were crossing the creek, Carlisle's Mercedes was pulling in.

"Why did Emmett and Jasper stay behind?" Seth asked

"There is a big storm coming in and they needed to finish weatherizing the house. They are also behind on their shopping. They said they would be up in a few days."

We set the tree on the deck, turned the hose on and sprayed the tree off getting rid of any excess dirt and old needles. We then carried it into the garage to dry.

By the time we got into the house, Esme was already in the kitchen pulling out baking sheets and flour. Edward and Carlisle went upstairs to have a private discussion. Blondie shoved past me into the kitchen to help Esme and Alice and Bella were formulating their game plan.

There was a knock on the door and the rest of my pack entered. Alice smiled slightly, but our little pixie was obviously running low on fairy dust.

"Jake why don't you all go out to the garage and bring in the decorations? You might want to take the keys to move the cars out. They are buried in the back."

Bella crossed over to the side table and opened the drawer. She reached in and grabbed four sets of keys. I took them and the pack headed outside.

I handed the keys to Carlisle's Mercedes to Jared. The keys to the Edward's Volvo I gave to Paul. Embry held his hand out and I dropped in the keys to Bella's Ferrari. The last set of keys was mine and they knew it. I had fixed Nessie's car about a week ago. They all knew that I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to move it but me.

I got behind the wheel and inhaled. It still smelled like her. I turned over the engine and followed Embry out into the driveway. The others got out and headed back in the garage, but I just sat for a while. The snow started to pick up and I began to wonder if it was snowing where Nessie was. I hoped she was inside where it was warm. "I miss you baby" I said softly. I turned off the car and got out to help the others carry the boxes inside.

Alice directed where each box would go and we went in our different directions. Edward and Carlisle came down and set up the tree stand before going out to get the tree. This was usually Emmett and Jasper's job, but they took it over this year. They placed the tree in the stand and Alice guided it straight. Edward strung the lights and then grabbed one of the boxes whose contents needed to find a home.

Nessie and I had been in charge of fireplace mantle every year. I walked over and cleared off the "everyday" decorations and set them on the coffee table. They would go in the box I had when it was empty. Bella walked up behind me and handed me two stockings.

"New additions to the mantle this year." She smiled and walked away. I looked at them and they had Paul and Jared's names on them.

I opened the box and right on top was a picture of Nessie setting on Santa's lap on her first Christmas. That picture had actually been taken in February and Emmett was playing Santa. On her first Christmas, we all had our hands full. I placed it in its spot. That was followed by another picture of her with Santa and then three group family pictures of all of us in front of the tree. I placed the stocking holders on the mantle, evenly spaced. My pack's stocking were hung on the wall surrounding the fireplace. I took the pictures off the wall that concealed the nails throughout the year and hung them. All but Leah's; I set her's aside. I still hadn't talked to her. She was trying to make amends with Seth, but he avoided her as much as possible. I placed Jared's stocking where Leah's usually was and retrieved a hammer and nail from the garage to place Paul's on the wall as well. The mantel was long. It was a good thing because we probably all wouldn't have fit. I started to put the stockings in the designated order. First was Carlisle's, then Blondie's. Next was Jasper's, then Bella's. I grabbed the next in the box and it was Esme's. It went at the opposite end of the mantle on the end. Next to her's was Emmett, then Alice's. Edward's was place next to Alice and then I came to mine, which went next to Bella. I stood and looked into the box and there was just one thing left. I picked up the dark red velvet stocking. I ran my hand across her name, stitched in gold thread on the white cuff. I smiled as the memories of the excitement over what she had found inside over the years. I closed my eyes and let the memories hit me. I wanted to feel sad. I didn't feel right trying to pretend that everything was as it had always been. She should be here, beside me. This wasn't right. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt good.

I carefully placed her stocking on its hook and stepped back. I took a deep breath and felt Bella's arm wrap around my waist.

"You did a great job as usual." I didn't say anything; I just put my arm around her and held her close. "The tree is done. What do you think?"

I turned and it looked like it could have been in a magazine. It was perfect. Or at least it should have been.

"You didn't do too bad yourself." I said squeezing her a little closer to me.

Edward came up and stood in front of us. I think he knew that I needed to get out of there. I needed space.

"We've got it from here Jake. Why don't you head home? You look like you could use some sleep."

We all said goodnight then and went in our separate directions as the snow really started coming down.

I stayed away the next day, just calling Bella to check in. She told me I was expected the next day to sample all the cookies and I told her I wouldn't miss it. It had snowed six inches overnight and the pack and I had a snowball war to relieve some tension. It felt good to laugh, but when it was done I crashed hard. I spent the rest of the day in bed.

The following day, the guys showed up about 2:00, ready to go do some cookie eating and watch some movies; yet another tradition. I was going to have to join them later. I had just gotten a call that the Reservation's snowplow broke down and they wanted me to take a look at it. I told the rest of them to go ahead and I'd be there when I was done.

The damn thing had just thrown a belt and it took me about fifteen minutes to repair. I took my time though walking to the house. When I got there everyone was in the living room lying out on the floor or on the couches in front of the fire. Jasper and Emmett hadn't arrived yet, but I expected them to pull in anytime with the amount of pacing Blondie and the Pixie were doing. We saw the lights of the Escalade come around the bend of the driveway in front of the house.

Without any warning Edward passed me in a blur and opened the door that led to the garage. He looked back at me and smiled slightly. I was confused. What had he picked up that I missed?

Emmett came in then with Jasper following.

"Don't get too excited Brother. Mr. Cautious to a fault wouldn't let me look for her."

Jasper crossed in front of him to stand in front of Edward.

"I was afraid we would spook her. But at least now we know we were right. She didn't go far." Jasper smiled and looked at me. That is when it hit me and I crossed the room in three strides followed closely by Seth and Bella.

"You found her?" I was trying to hold back tears of relief, but also trying not to rip them apart for not bringing her back.

"Yes. She is in Portland. We caught her scent briefly. I don't know if she saw us, but it was definitely her." Jasper put his hand on my arm. "I know this is difficult, but you just have to be patient. The fact that she settled so close to us means secretly she wants to be found. We should give her some more time, and if she doesn't come home, we can make it look like an accident that we found her. She needs time to heal. She needs to be able to do this on her terms. But her terms have a time limit." He looked around the room. "I think we can all agree on that." We were all silent, but nodded our heads.

No one wanted to finish the movies. There was a mixture of joy and sadness at the news that we knew where Nessie was. The rest of the guys went home, but Seth and I stayed. Alice put on one of the Christmas CDs as it started to snow again. Sometimes fate gives us what we need when we need it. One of Nessie's favorite songs came on then and last Christmas she had told me, while we were setting in front of the fire listening to it, "I hope that I am never separated from you this time of year, but if that day ever comes, imagine me singing this to you." I remember I laughed at her and I told her I better not ever have to. But here I was just a year later and I closed my eyes and imagined that she was singing it to me.

_Merry Christmas Darling_

_By The Carpenters_

_Greeting cards have all been sent_

_The Christmas rush is through_

_But I still have one wish to make_

_A special one for you_

_Merry Christmas Darling_

_We're apart that's true_

_But I can dream and in my dreams_

_I'm Christmas-ing with you_

_Holidays are joyful_

_There's always something new_

_But every day's a holiday_

_When I'm near to you_

_Oh the lights on my tree_

_I wish you could see_

_I wish it every day_

_Logs on the fire _

_Fill me with desire_

_To see you and to say_

_That I wish you Merry Christmas_

_Happy New Year, too_

_I've just one wish _

_On this Christmas Eve_

_I wish I were with you._

As the song ended, I opened my eyes and Edward came and knelt in front of me.  
"I know how hard it is to know where she is and not go and get her. Trust me, I'm fighting it myself. But if we go now and she's not ready, she will just run again. Can hold on until the spring, April at the latest? If she is not back by then, we will bring her home. In the meantime, I will be making trips down to check on her and you are more than welcome to come. I can observe her from a distance and pass on how she is to you. It is the best I can do for the time being." He stood and put his hand on my shoulder. I looked at the floor because I didn't want him to see the pain I was feeling. "You are doing so much better than I did. You will be together again; Jake don't lose faith now." He crossed back to Bella and I looked at the snow continuing to pile on the porch from the window.

I guess that watching her from a far would have to do. I wanted to give her the time she needed. I just hoped that the time would bring her back to me, and not push her farther way.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20 – Time Sure Drags When You're Miserable

Renesmee

I volunteered to work at the Bagdad on Christmas. Only about five customers came in for each showing. We were showing "It's a Wonderful Life", "A Christmas Story" and "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation". It gave me way too much time to think.

I spent the whole day wishing I was home. I imagined what the house looked like, Jake and I decorating the mantel, the smells coming from the kitchen and the presents under the tree. Plus I had a discovery. Christmas songs should be classified as torture devices. I heard "I'll Be Home for Christmas", "Merry Christmas Darling" and "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" one right after the other. It is no wonder the suicide rate rises during the Holidays.

The next week was spent recovering. Brian tried to drag me out of my funk, but the only thing that would have helped me was a red brown wolf who made my heart beat. I went hunting twice and read Jane Eyre and the Historian. The latter made me laugh, but there were parts that weren't too far off the mark.

Brian had me scheduled to work at the Starlight on New Year's Eve. I was glad that I would be busy. This would have been the first year that Jake and I could have celebrated properly. Usually we had a bon fire on First Beach with the whole family and both packs. Then we would count down the New Year and set off bottle rockets. Jake would lift me up and kiss my cheek and say "One year down and infinity to go." I would giggle and then he would take me home, tuck me in and say, "This year will be the best yet." I was just thankful that when the ball dropped and for a few hours after I will be too busy to dwell on the fact that this would have been the first year for me to give Jake a proper New Year's kiss.

I stood in the mirror giving myself the once over before walking the short distance to work. I was working a double shift. I actually volunteered. Brian had told me to be festive and have fun. I chose a cap sleeved white blouse, a skinny metallic gold necktie, skinny black jeans and black converse high-tops. I pinned my hair up on the sides and I let my curls run down my back. I was wearing gold fake eyelashes and bright red lipstick. The final touch was a small, very high top hat I pinned so it was leaning slightly to the right.

"You can get through this." I said it out loud, but ever since seeing my Uncles I had been wondering how much time would have to pass until I could go home. To be honest, even though I left, I really wanted Jake to come and drag me home. I wanted the grand romantic gesture. But I also wanted to know that he came for me for no other reason that, imprint or no imprint, he loved me. The longer I was away I was also realizing that if Jake and I were ever going to build a future together we were both going to have to make changes towards a life that was ours and not one that constantly was intertwined with our families. Now that I had my own home, I wondered what a home with Jake and only Jake would be like. What it would be like to be able to share a home, bed and life with him, somewhere we could just be together without my parents, his Dad or the pack constantly around.

I got my coat on and walked down the stairs. Brian was just coming out the front door as I got to the bottom. He quickly walked over to me and laughed.

"Love the hat. You are sure to make a killing in tips tonight." I opened my coat and he shook his head. "I take that back. You'll do ok. Now if you would have shown some cleavage you would have made bank. Come on I'll walk with you." We made small talk until we were a block away from the bar. He suddenly stopped and grabbed my hand. "So Nessie, do I get to be the first one to give you a kiss in the New Year?"

He took me completely off guard. I pulled my hand gently out of his and smiled at him. "I guess I haven't been completely honest with you Brian. I have a boyfriend, or at least I think I do. It's hard to explain. The point is my heart is somewhere else, with someone else. But you are a great guy. I enjoy spending time with you."

Brian smiled at me and then winked. "Well thank you for your honesty. Now I will be honest with you. I like you. I've liked you since you knocked on my door. This maybe boyfriend is not here, I am. You need to know that I am your friend, that is not going to change, but I don't give up that easily." He took my hand again and brought it to his mouth and kissed it. "Now let's get ready for the drunken fools."

I followed him in and felt more homesick than ever. I didn't want to lead Brian on. I wanted Jake. Damn it. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't I have just stayed at my car that day? I would have never had to hear what Jake thought. I could have just lived in the dark. I didn't belong here. But for the time being I had to pretend like I did. The thought of anyone else touching me, kissing me, made me sick to my stomach; even Brian who was good looking, kind and funny. He wasn't Jake. I had had enough. I needed to know if Jake truly meant what he had said, or if he had changed his mind now that I was gone. Hopefully absence had made his heart grow fonder.

I ran up to Brian. "I have to run home for a few minutes. Is that okay?"

He smiled at me. "Go for it, just don't take too long."

I walked quickly, trying to control myself. I climbed my stairs and opened the door. I pulled out my new cell phone and dialed the number to the person I knew would be honest with me about what really waited for me if I was to go home. I knew that it would come up unknown number, but I hoped he would answer it anyway.

"Hello" There was apprehension in his voice.

I pause and he said again "Hello".

"Seth?"

There was the sound of a door opening and closing as he said "Hold on."

I waited for what seemed like an eternity.

"Nessie? Is that you? Where the hell are you?" There was a combination of emotions in his voice, but I didn't hear any anger.

"I'm close. Seth how is he?" I loved everyone at home, but that is the questions I wanted answered most.

"He is devastated Ness. You need to understand something. What you heard is not what you thought you heard. He was talking about my idiot sister. Leah had been giving him grief since Thanksgiving. He thought he had gotten the situation under control and that night she had pulled some more crap. He was talking about babysitting her, not you. He loves you. We all do. We want you to come home."

I let out a sigh. I had overreacted. Not an unusual thing for me, but this time I had really created a mess.

"I'm in Portland Seth. I have to work tonight. There are people here that have been really great and I don't want to leave them in a lurch. I want to come home. I miss you all so much. It has hurt so bad being away from Jake. Do you think he is too mad for me to come home in a few weeks? I need to give notice at my jobs." I was trying to show not only Jake, but myself that I was growing up and not acting purely on impulse.

"Don't you understand, he is not mad at you; he never has been. Nessie, Jake has been barely functioning without you." He paused then. "Did you say jobs as in plural?"

I laughed. "Yeah, I'm working at a movie theater called the Bagdad, and also, now I'm not sure you should tell Jake this, he might freak out…"

Seth cut me off. "Oh God, you didn't become a stripper did you?"

I laughed, "No you jackass, I'm a cocktail waitress at a bar call the Starlight. That is where I'm working tonight. I have tomorrow off though, so I can come home for the day and get everything straightened out hopefully and them come back here and tie up loose ends."

There was a pause. "Nessie, you sound different."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing Seth?"

"I think it is a good thing. What do you want me to tell everyone? Your whole family is in town. I'm at Sam's right now, everyone else is at your Grandparents' place."

I smiled, "Tell them I will see them tomorrow, I love them and Happy New Year." I started to cry. "I've missed you Seth."

"I've miss you too Sweetie. I can't wait to see their faces when I tell them."

"I've got to go. You have my new cell number now. I won't have it with me tonight, I'll be too busy. I'll call when I'm on my way though. Bye Seth. Love you."

"Love you too and I'll see you soon!"

I hung up the phone and let what I had just heard wash over me. "Jake really does love me." I whispered.

I checked myself in the mirror to make sure I looked okay. I looked better than okay. For the first time in almost a month, I looked happy.

I looked around my apartment and I was proud of what I had accomplished. I knew now, that if need be, I could survive on my own. I just never wanted to have to do it again.

I put my coat back on and jogged back to the bar. Business was still light; it was only 4:30. I walked up to Brian who was looking at me suspiciously.

"You look happy. Something happen?"

"I am happy Brian, but I don't know if you will be. I'm giving my two week notice. On the job and the apartment. I've decided to go home."

His smile faded slightly and then he shook his head. "I knew you were too good to last. Well I guess we will just have to make the most of the next two weeks my friend."

I laughed and headed back to the break room. I hung up my coat and put on my apron. It was going to be a busy night. Two popular local Blues bands were playing and they always brought in extra people, plus we were having door prizes, drink specials and no cover. Brian had warned me that every year they do this and every year they are filled to capacity.

The evening started to fly by. As I talked to the regulars and made polite conversation with the people I didn't recognize, I knew I was getting closer to going home.

The bands were great and before I knew it, the announcement was made that it was two minutes to midnight. I grabbed a big tray of champagne glasses and started to pass them out at the back half of the room. I then made my way to the band that was on stage and gave them all glasses, leaving one for myself.

The countdown started.

30

29

28

27

I couldn't wait for it to be over because then I could say I get to see Jake today. I get to go home today.

26

25

24

23

22

I looked back and Brian had moved from the bar and was standing behind me

20

19

18

17

16

15

14

"You sure you have to leave?" he said above the crowd.

13

12

11

10

9

8

"I am positive. I left my heart there and I need to be with him."

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

I yelled "Happy New Year" as a glass touched mine and a hand grasped my waist.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21 – Auld Lang Syne

Jacob

I barely made it through Christmas. The Cullens invited me over to spend Christmas Morning with them like I had since Nessie was born, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So I phased and ran the perimeter all day. I didn't even go over for Christmas Dinner. I couldn't decide if knowing where she was made me feel better or worse.

Edward and I had decided that the day after Christmas we would drive down and see if he could find her, check her thoughts and see how she was doing. I actually had never been to Portland. Dad isn't much of a traveler, and since the whole wolf thing, I've been pretty confined to the Res.

We left early in the morning and crossed the Interstate Bridge that connected Oregon and Washington. Traffic was pretty light because it was a Sunday and everyone was recovering from all of their holiday merriment. I was glad the weather was cooperating in that the sky was dark and Edward wouldn't be confined to the car. The ride down was awkward. Not a lot of small talk going on.

Edward took the 405 exit that dropped us onto the back side of downtown. He looked at me from the corner of his eye.

"This isn't the area where they caught her scent, but it is a good place for me to start. There are a lot of little districts here that she could be." We slowly made our way through the streets. There was a big open square, Pioneer Court House Square, where there was a large amount of homeless kids. I was secretly hoping that she avoided this area.

"I was just thinking the same thing." Edward smiled.

We made our way closer to the river. The Willamette River cuts Portland into two pieces basically. We had our choice of bridges to cross.

"We're going to take the Hawthorne Bridge because that is where Emmett and Jasper where. Hopefully I can get a read on her."

We crossed the bridge and dropped into a neighborhood where the income levels seemed to dip. It was full of old houses and business. It was nice though. I could see Nessie here. As we drove up the street, I saw Edward smile.

"I've got her."

He pulled over and I looked at him, anxious to hear, but scared at the same time.

"Is she ok? What's she doing?"

He smiled and looked at me. "She is reading. Jane Eyre. But her mind keeps drifting. She is thinking about you. Now she is looking around her house and wondering if you would like it. She is proud of herself." He paused. "I have never heard her be this way. She has changed a lot in such a short time." He went back to listening. "She is wishing that the two of you had a home. You are there in everything Jake. She has decided to go hunting. She is going up in the Mount Hood National Forest. I think we should head back. She will know we are here if we try to follow."

I nodded my head. We went back to the freeway and headed north. All the things that Edward had told me got me thinking. In the few short weeks that Nessie had been away, she had accomplished more that I had in the years. I had been using the pack as an excuse. Yes it was my job and my obligation, but I could have and I should have been preparing and building a life for Nessie and me.

I spent the trip in silence. There was really no point in talking to Edward about it, he knew what I was going over in my head anyway. When we arrived home, I thanked him for the ride. I was getting ready to leave when he stopped me.

"Jacob, would you mind stopping by tomorrow? I would like to talk to you about something, but I need to talk to the rest of the family first."

"Sure. What time?" I could never tell since they didn't sleep. I just hoped he wouldn't say the butt crack of dawn.

"About 9. And Jacob, everything will work out as it should. I have no doubt about it." He smiled and went into the house.

I ran home. Seth and Quil were waiting for me.

"So did you find her?" Seth jumped to his feet as soon as I opened the door.

"Yeah. She is right where Jasper said she'd be. She seems to be doing well." I smiled slightly, although I knew it was wrong for this to make me feel better. "She's missing me something bad."

Seth patted me on the back. "Of course she is."

Quil leaned back on the couch as I sat in the recliner by the door. "So what's the plan?"

I sighed. "Well as far as when she will be home, I agree now that we have to let her make up her mind. I hope it won't be long." I looked at them both and leaned forward placing my elbows on my knees. "In the meantime, I am going to need your help. I want to make some changes. I have to start to plan and build a life for Nessie and me. I want to get a home for the two of us. I need to get my own steady income. I just don't know how I'm going to fit it all in."

My Dad came wheeling into the living room. "I couldn't help but overhear son. I think I have an idea. Let me make a few calls."

I was stunned. And then I was pissed at myself. I was wishing I would have grown up and started thinking these thoughts a long time ago. If I had been on top of everything, I would have already had a house and money in the bank when Nessie and my relationship progressed. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

I took the guys out to patrol so Dad could make his calls without me hovering. When I got back, he was grinning from ear to ear.

"Did you get good news?" God I hoped so because I could really use it right now.

"Yes I did, but I can't tell you yet. I do need you to take me with you when you go see Edward tomorrow though. I'll fill you in then."

"Dad, what's going on?" I felt completely left out of the loop.

"You have to wait. We still have some loose ends to tie up." He smiled and wheeled himself into the kitchen. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Nope."

"Good then make me dinner." I laughed and went in to fry us up a couple of burgers.

I could hardly sleep with the events of the day running through my head. Now that I knew where Nessie was when I closed my eyes, all I saw was her there. I wondered what she was doing; if she was in one of the businesses. Most importantly where she was laying her beautiful head and if she was dreaming of me. Then to top everything off, my Dad and Edward being all cryptic; it made me feel like I was blindfolded and standing in the middle of a really crazy circle of people. I finally fell asleep, but it seemed like seconds later that my alarm was going off.

I showered and got dressed. Dad was already dressed and ready when I came into the living room.

"Let's go," he said as he wheeled himself to the door.

We didn't talk at all on the drive over, but he had a stupid looking smile on his face. As I pulled to a stop in front of the house I looked at him.

"You better be careful not to cough up feathers from that canary you swallowed." I laughed, got out of the truck and helped him into his chair. Before I could get him into the house, Charlie's cruiser pulled up behind me. He got out and had the same stupid grin on his face.

"Morning Jake." He walked past me, put his hands on Dad's chair and wheeled him into the living room. I stood there on the porch for a second and then shook my head and entered the house.

When I got to the living room, I was kind of taken aback by what I saw. Charlie had wheeled Dad to the end of the large white couch, where he was setting next to Bella. Edward was next to her, with Jasper on his right. The Pixie was on the floor at Jasper's feet. In the chair beside me was Esme and Carlisle was behind her. She reached up and grabbed my hand. I looked down at her and she smiled up.

"Good Morning Jacob."

Emmett was standing behind the long couch and Blondie was behind him with her arms crossed. And finally, scattered around the room was my pack. Every single person in the room had the same goofy grin on their faces.

Carlisle motioned to the other chair in the room. "Have a seat Jacob." I crossed and sat, half expecting something to come jumping out at me.

"Ok, I give. What's up?" I looked right at Bella. I knew she would be my best chance for letting me in on the secret.

"Billy why don't you and Dad start?" Bella looked at them and smiled.

Dad and Charlie looked at each other and Charlie motioned for Dad to begin. "Well after you got home and told the guys what you wanted to do, I got an idea. It doesn't seem right, all the work all you boys do to keep us safe, so I contacted the other elders and I have a business proposition for you. They want to offer you Frank Long's old garage at the edge of town. We will give you guys all the Reservation mechanic work and you can also take in private work too. Sue is working on grant money to help to equip it and get it fixed up. Well then I called Charlie." Dad pointed to Charlie for him to take over.

"As I'm sure you have heard Jake, the city of Forks is having money problems like anywhere else. Well the city controller decided last month that we can no longer keep a mechanic on staff full time. So we were going to be looking for someone to contract out to take care of the city vehicles. After Billy called, I got in touch with him and he agreed to contract with you. There should be enough work to put all these other knuckleheads to work too."

I couldn't believe it. It was the first sun break I'd seen in a long series of black clouds.

Bella smiled at me. "Wait Jake, that's not all." She looked to Carlisle and Esme.

"Jacob, as I am sure you remember, it is a tradition in this family that we provide private residences for the individual pairs." Carlisle smiled at me. "Well, Edward has informed us that it is time to start on said resident for you and Renesmee."

"What?" I wasn't sure what I was hearing.

Bella came and knelt in front of me. "Jake the family wants to build you and Nessie a home. We've found the perfect place. Far enough away from our cottage not to cause my darling husband any grief, and right on the edge of the Reservation."

"But doesn't that land belong to someone else?" I knew the property was large, but I wasn't sure how large.

Carlisle laughed. "We own all the 250 acres here Jake. We bought it when land prices were cheap. Our property actually comes within a half a mile of the treaty line."

I was in a daze. In a five minute period I had become a business and a homeowner. And the one person I wanted to share it with wasn't here. She filled my thoughts then, and I became excited of the possibilities of the life we could have together.

"I'd like to get with you this week and work on the plans Jake. You tell me what you want, and we'll get it all worked out." Esme looked almost as excited as I felt.

Bella jumped to her feet then and grabbed my hands pulling me up. "So do you want to see the spot neighbor?" She was pulling me towards the door, but I stopped. I turned and looked back into the room.

"Thank you. All of you. I promise that I will work hard and do everything in my power to make Nessie happy and give her a good life." I was fighting back emotions that seemed to be spilling out of me left and right these days.

Carlisle came up to me and took my hand. "You are our family. Don't you ever forget that. Now go see if you like the spot."

Bella, Edward, Jasper, Alice, Emmett, the pack and I took off running parallel with the creek. We had been running for about five minutes when we slowed. Up ahead of us was a clearing that hugged the bank of the creek. I looked to back to Bella.

"So what do you think? Perfect huh?" She was pretty proud of herself.

"Yes it is." I saw Nessie here. I suddenly had a vision of what our house would look like; Nessie and I setting next to the lake and maybe, just maybe, our children playing in the yard.

"Would you like a minute?" Edward placed his hand on my shoulder. I nodded and everyone left.

There was still about six inches of snow on the ground, but I had been by this spot plenty of times over the years. I stood by the creek and just let my mind drift to her.

"Can you believe it Baby? Our life is going to be great, I promise." I took a deep breath and then followed behind the others.

The next few days, the pack and I spent our time running patrols and working on the garage. It had three bays, two of which had operating lifts. It needed to be painted and there were no other tools or equipment. Sue told us she would have news on the grant money soon and in the meantime, we would all pool what we had from our own personal tool boxes.

On New Year's Eve, the pack and I had been invited over to the main house for some football in the snow and dinner. Esme and I were going to go over house plans. I was really looking forward to that. I had a vision of what I wanted and Nessie had told me over the years what her dream house would be. I refused to let it look like a Barbie house though. I drew the line at pink doors and shutters.

Since I was working on the plans the teams were uneven, so I sent Seth to go and ask Sam if he wanted to play. We had been designing the house most of the day, and Esme looked at her watch suddenly.

"Oh my, it is 4:30 already. I better get some dinner started." We had been working at the dining room table. I stood up and stretched, as Esme headed into the kitchen. Suddenly the doors to the back yard flew open and Seth was standing there with a huge smile on his face. Everyone else was pushing behind him to get into the house. He walked over to me and put both hands on my shoulders, looking directly into my eyes.

"Nessie just called me." I started to shake. "Jake she wants to come home."

I hugged him and then pulled back. "Is she on her way?"

Edward laughed behind him and hugged Bella.

"She plans on coming up for the day tomorrow. She is working two jobs and wants to give them notice before she moves home."

I smiled. Two jobs. That's my girl. Then something hit me.

"Seth you told her what happened? That I wasn't talking about her right?"

"Yeah, that is why she called me. She was afraid you were still mad at her. She has to work tonight, or I think she'd have been on her way by now." Seth looked down then.

"Where is she working?" Seth wouldn't make eye contact and Edward let out a quiet growl.

"She didn't want me to tell you, but I don't think it is any big deal. She's working as a cocktail waitress at some place called the Starlight. That's where she is tonight, but she also is working at a movie theater."

Jasper stepped forward. "The Bagdad?" he asked.

"Yeah"

Jasper just smiled and shook his head.

Alice ran forward to stand in front of me. "I have a great idea."

"I love it" Edward said behind her.

"Why don't we all get dressed and surprise her. We can be there in plenty of time."

I smiled and nodded my head. I'd see her tonight. She'd be in my arms tonight. I looked at my pack. "You guys want to come?"

They all had imprints they wanted to spend the evening with expect for Seth. So they went home, and Seth and I were escorted upstairs to shower and get ready. When I was done with my shower, Alice had set clothes out on the bed for me. I swear she has a hidden closet full of clothes in my size. I put on the black jeans, and white t-shirt. I pulled on a black pair of cowboy boots and pulled my hair back into a pony tail. I slid on the black sports coat and headed downstairs. Seth and the rest of the family were waiting for me. I looked at the clock and it was just before six.

Seth and I got into the Volvo with Edward and Bella, and the rest of the family piled into the Escalade. We were all laughing and reminiscing the whole drive. It was the best I had felt since before Thanksgiving. By the time we got into downtown, we had formulated a plan to help me be one hell of a romantic guy.

We got into the Hawthorne district at 11:45. We had driven around for a while, killing time to put the plan into place. We parked several blocks away from the Starlight and we could hear the music from where we parked. Edward stopped and we all looked at him.

"She is so happy. She is excited to see us."

We walked to the open door of the bar. The bottom half of the windows were painted black, but the top half was clear. We looked inside. Jasper held up Alice so she could see. There she was. She looked adorable. I had to concentrate on breathing so I wouldn't pass out. She was passing out champagne and she went to stand at the edge of the crowd as the countdown started.

"Go get your girl." Seth smiled at me and I made my way through the crowd. I saw a man come and stand behind her. She was smiling and talking to him. As the countdown ended, I was close enough to hear her say Happy New Year and the man behind her hit his champagne glass to hers just as I grasped her waist.

I turned her to me and lifted her so her face was even with mine. "One year down and infinity to go." I kissed her and she wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled me to her and her tears hit my cheeks. I pulled back and she smiled at me. "Sorry Baby, but I couldn't wait."

"Thank God." I set her down on the floor, but she didn't release her grasp around my neck. She pulled me to her and the whole room disappeared while through her hand on my cheek she sent me, _I love you. I love you. I love you._

I pulled back and smiled down at her. "How long until your shift is done? There are more people who want to see you."

She looked around me and talked to the man who was standing behind us. "Brian, I'm taking my fifteen."


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22 – Where the Heart is

Renesmee

Jake took my hand and started to lead me out the door. Before we got outside, he turned once again and kissed me. There was so much passion and love in that kiss that I almost passed out. He pulled away from me and smiled, "I've got a lot of time to make up for."

He then picked me up and carried me out the door. Standing there was my family. They all surrounded me and for the first time since I left, I felt like a whole person. After we had all exchanged hug I had a question that I needed to ask.

"Uncle Jasper, Uncle Emmett? Did you catch my scent that day you were across from the Bagdad?" I had been wondering what they had been arguing about and if it was me.

"We sure did. I wanted to drag you butt home, but this one," he pulled Uncle Jasper into a head lock, "he decided it was better to let you come back when you were ready."

Uncle Jasper quickly escaped and smiled at me. "As usually I was right." He pulled me into another hug and whispered in my ear, "I missed you so much."

I placed my hand his neck. _I missed you too. But do you and Dad think you could manage for Jake and me to have some alone time? _I looked at my Dad and he kind of cringed but nodded slightly. _I would really appreciate it. I love you guys._

Dad put a hand on Seth's shoulder. "What do you say we leave Jake here, and the rest of us go back to the Estacada house? Nessie and Jake can come by in the morning and we can all catch up."

Jake and I told everyone goodnight and then we headed back inside. I still have three hours left of my shift. I led Jake over to the bar where Brian was looking at me amused. He came over to us and stuck his hand out. "You must be the boyfriend?"

Jake took his hand and silently sized him up. "That would be me. And who might you be?"

"I am the boss and landlord." I suddenly knew that I would have to step in and play referee.

"Jacob Black, this is Brian Reese." They silently shook and pulled their hands away. I leaned over to Jake and pushed him down on a stool. "I have to get back to work. Be nice. I'll be back to check on you in a minute." I placed my hand on his neck and told him I had plans for him when my shift was done.

The rest of the night was a blur. I wanted to be alone with Jake, but at the same time, I knew we had a lot to talk about. I would go by and check on him while I filled drink orders. Brian and he seemed to be getting along ok. Towards the end of the evening they were talking cars and Monty Python movies, so I figured that was a good sign. By the time we announced last call, the place was pretty much dead. I started to clean up tables and Jake came behind me and put the chairs up. Our hands would touch as we worked by each other. When I moved on to a new table, he would run his fingers down my back. I was trying to remain professional, but all I wanted to do was attack him right there in the middle of the bar.

By the time we had cleaned all the tables, and every customer was out of the building, Brian looked at me and smiled, "Why don't you head out. I've got it from here."

"Are you sure? I don't mind helping you finish."

He looked at Jake and winked, "Get out of here. Who am I to stand in the way of young love?"

"Thank you Brian." I ran back and grabbed my bag and coat. Jake was waiting for me by the front door. "Have a good night Brian. I'll see you on Tuesday."

He just waved and I pulled Jake through the door. As soon as we were outside, I put my hands around his neck and pulled him down to me. I need to feel his mouth on mine; to know that he was really here and not a dream. His kiss deepened and he lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist. We completely forgot where we were. Suddenly there was a loud voice behind us. We turned and Brian was in the doorway laughing at us.

"You have a perfectly good room less than four blocks away. I suggest you move all this," he motioned his hand in a circle, "inside before you get arrested and you call me to bail your asses out. Now shoo before I turn the hose on you."

I blushed and took Jake's hand to lead him down the street. I could hear his nervous laughter beside me.

"Well that was embarrassing. But I guess better your boss than your Dad." He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed it. "I've missed you so much Nes. I'm sorry for everything that happened. I was trying to make it so you wouldn't worry about stuff and then it just got all messed up. I know I was jerk."

"That doesn't matter now. We are together and I want nothing more than to build a future with you. Without you, there isn't much worth sticking around for." I looked up at him and smiled as we crossed the street and made our way the final two blocks to my apartment.

"Which one is yours?" Jake asked, looking around at all the large houses on the two blocks.

"The one up ahead; the white one with the staircase on the outside there. My apartment is upstairs." I ran ahead of him and up my stairs. He was following close on my heels. I unlocked the door and motioned for him to enter. "Welcome to my humble abode." He walked past me and looked around. I was suddenly nervous about what he would think of the place. I still had just the bare essentials, but I had added some touches here and there.

He turned and took me in his arms, raising me to his face. "I love it. But you could make a cardboard box feel like home." We started up again where we left off outside the Starlight. I pulled away from him slightly and ran my fingers across his face.

"Would you mind if I take a quick shower. I'm feeling a little grungy." I also had on my boring cotton underwear and that just would not do.

"Go ahead. I'll be right here waiting for you when you get back." He gave me another long kiss and I ran to the closet, grabbed a matching aqua marine pushup bra and thong. I closed the bathroom door behind me and almost started hyperventilating. I quickly got into the shower, shaved my legs, exfoliated everywhere, and washed my hair twice. I got out, dried myself to the point of turning red from the towel put on my pretty underwear and towel dried my hair. I applied a little makeup, lotion and some perfume. I wrapped myself in my large white terry cloth robe and slowly opened the door.

As I entered the main living area, I saw Jake standing with the front door open, looking out into the night. He had lit three of the candles I had place around the room and all the lights were off. I walked up behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist and let my hands slide up his chest. I kissed his back and he held my hands. "I've been lost without you. I tried so hard to do what everyone else wanted me to do and I almost lost you because of it." He turned to look at me then. I looked up into his eyes and I started to feel a fire burning inside of me unlike anything I had ever felt before. "Renesmee, I want to show you how much I love you. I want us to have not more distance between us. If you aren't ready, I understand, but I want you to know that I am. I don't want to wait anymore."

He closed the door behind him, and I untied my robe. It fell open just enough to see the satin bra outlining my breasts at the cleavage and a delicate aqua marine triangle below my stomach. His breath caught and I started to unbutton his shirt. "I don't want to wait anymore either. We've been patient long enough. I want you Jacob. I want to be with you in every way possible." Jake slid his hands into my robe and around my waist. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around him. His eyes never left mine.

"Are you sure?" I had never been surer of anything in my life.

"Make love to me Jacob."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23 – I Think We've Waited Long Enough

Jacob

As I was leading Nessie out to see her family, I stopped and turned to her. I needed to feel her. I needed to taste her. I needed to know that she was real and she was here. I kissed her pressing myself to her, wanting to be as close to her as possible. I pulled her back from me and the expression on her face made me smile, "I've got a lot of time to make up for." I lifted her into my arms and carried her out the door to where the Cullens and Seth were waiting. I sat her on the ground and they all descended on her, giving her hugs and saying how happy they were to see her.

I had made up my mind about something, and I needed to convey it to Edward. I figured I owed him that much. While Nessie was talking to the family I sent Edward my thoughts.

_Edward, I know I promised to be honorable and wait to be with Nessie. But if she is ready, and it is what she wants, I think we have waited long enough. I just wanted to be honest with you. I hope you understand._

Edward looked quickly between Nessie and me, cringed and then nodded. He then got everyone to leave, I don't know why, but he must have been feeling generous. "What do you say we leave Jake here, and the rest of us go back to the Estacada house? Nessie and Jake can come by in the morning and we can all catch up." They all made their way to their cars and Nessie took my hand and we went back inside.

Nessie still had a while to work, so she led me to the bar, where the man that had been standing beside her when I came in, was pouring drinks. I sat down and he walked over to us, hand extended. "You must be the boyfriend." It made me feel a hell of a lot better that he knew that Nessie had a boyfriend. But I had also seen the way he was looking at her. Maybe he was one of those guys who didn't care if she was spoken for or not.

I took his hand and squeezed it a little too hard probably, "That would be me. And who might you be?"

"I am the boss and landlord." This guy wasn't going to back down. I didn't know whether to be impressed or pissed off.

Nessie sighed and stepped closer to me. "Jacob Black, this is Brian Reese." We gave a quick hand shake and then pulled our hands away. I looked at Nessie and she winked at me. "I have to get back to work. Be nice. I'll be back to check on you in a minute." She placed her hand on my neck. _I am so glad we get to be alone tonight. I've missed you so much. I've been dreaming about your hands on me mister. I hope you took a nap today and ate your wheaties because I have some plans for you. _She then sent me images of her in a black lace bra and underwear, lying on a bed surrounded by candles and me kissing my way up her leg. If she wanted to make it so I couldn't leave the bar stool without embarrassing myself, she was doing a damn good job of it. She left me then and went back to her tables.

"Can I get you something Jacob?" Brian seemed friendly enough, but I still didn't trust him.

"Coke would be great."

He put ice in the cup and filled it and set it on the counter. I went to reach for my wallet but he just shook his head. "It's on the house unless you want to add a kick to it." Nessie gave him a drink order; he filled it quickly as she smiled at me. She was good at her job, and I was proud of her. Brian walked up and topped my soda off. "So I'm expecting the Spanish Inquisition to start anytime now about what your girl has been up to."

I laughed, "No one expects the Spanish Inquisition." Brian laughed at that too.

"Python fan huh? I should have known that Vanessa would have a boyfriend I couldn't even hate. Crap, I guess that means I'm going to have to let her leave without a fight." That was the first time I had heard anyone refer to her by her alias. I realized that here she was Vanessa White. But she was still mine. Brian and I passed the time talking about different things, but nothing too personal. He wanted to get a car and asked my opinion. We talked about movies and sports. Before I knew it, he said, "I'm getting ready to call last call; Nessie will get out of here a lot faster if you want to help her with the tables and chairs." I nodded and went over to put the chairs on the tables after she cleaned them. I couldn't help but touch her when she was that close. My whole body ached for her.

When we put the last chair on the last table, the bar was empty except for Brian, Nessie and me. Brian came around the end of the bar, and threw his towel on the counter. "Why don't you head out? I've got it from here."

Nessie looked between the two of us, "Are you sure. I don't mind helping you finish."

Brian looked at me and winked, "Get out of here. Who am I to stand in the way of young love?"

Nessie started to run towards the back room, "Thank you Brian."

Brian smiled at me, "You are a lucky man."

"I know." I crossed to the door.

Nessie came back with her coat and purse. "Have a good night Brian. I'll see you on Tuesday." Brian waved at us and Nessie pulled me out the door.

As soon as we were outside, she grabbed me and pulled me into a kiss. Suddenly, my passion for her became so strong, I couldn't control it. Our kiss deepened and I lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around my waist and I cupped her beautiful ass in my hands. I could feel myself growing hard under her and I hoped she could feel it too. She tightened her legs around me, grinding herself to me.

"You have a perfectly good room less than four blocks away. I suggest you move all this," he motioned his hand in a circle, "inside before you get arrested and you call me to bail your asses out. Now shoo before I turn the hose on you."

Nessie was so embarrassed. She blushed and grabbed my hand. I couldn't help but laugh as she led me down the street. Walking was a bit uncomfortable though.

"Well that was embarrassing. But I guess better your boss than your Dad." I kissed her hand. "I've missed you so much Nes. I'm sorry for everything that happened. I was trying to make it so you wouldn't worry about stuff and then it just got all messed up. I know I was jerk."

"That doesn't matter now. We are together and I want nothing more than to build a future with you. Without you, there isn't much worth sticking around for."

We crossed the street and the blocks suddenly were filled with huge houses. "Which one is yours?"

"The one up ahead; the white one with the staircase on the outside. My apartment is upstairs." She dropped my hand and ran up the stairs. I quickly followed her. I was amazed by her. She unlocked the door and motioned for me to enter. "Welcome to my humble abode."

I walked into the large room. There was a small kitchen area, a chair, a bed and a night stand. There were candles all around the room, and a floor lamp and table lamp on her nightstand. There wasn't much here, but it was perfect. "I love it. But you could make a cardboard box feel like home."

Before I even knew what was happening, we were kissing again, consumed by this need that was finally taking over. I wanted to slow down a little, but I just couldn't. I wanted her too badly. She pulled away from me then.

"Would you mind if I take a quick shower. I'm feeling a little grungy." I almost offered to join her, but I wanted everything to be perfect.

"Go ahead. I'll be right here waiting for you when you get back." I gave her one more kiss and then watched her get some clothes out of her closet and close the bathroom door behind her. I went around and lit some of the candles, turning off the floor lamp that Nessie had turned on when we entered. I crossed to the front door and opened it, looking out into the lights of the city. We were in the middle of a normally busy neighborhood, but this time of night, it was so quiet you felt like you were in the middle of nowhere. As I stood there, I let my decision run through my head. I wanted Nessie, I needed her. We had been patient, and we were going to build a life together. I know Edward wanted us to wait, but when you have forever, there shouldn't be timetables. I was going to ask Nessie to marry me, someday soon, but neither of us believed that for us to be intimate, we had to be married. I hoped that she was ready. I knew she thought she was, but thinking and doing are two different things. Then the worry of if I would hurt her or not came into my mind. It would not only be my first time making love to Nessie, it would be my first time ever. I had only been interested in Bella, and then I imprinted on Nessie. Since that day, there was never anyone else in the world for me. I knew eventually my feelings for her would progress to where they are now, and I wanted to share this part of me only with her. I was lost in my thoughts when I heard the bathroom door open.

I didn't turn, but she came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. As her hands slid up my chest, her touch sent a wave of desire through me, building stronger. I grabbed her hand to prevent me from attacking her. I needed her to know I was ready, that I wanted to take this step, make this commitment with only her. "I've been lost without you. I tried so hard to do what everyone else wanted me to do and I almost lost you because of it." I turned and looked at her. She was more beautiful than I ever remembered her being. She was in the bathrobe and her hair was still damp, falling down her back. The lights from the candles and the open door danced across her face. "Renesmee, I want to show you how much I love you. I want us to have not more distance between us. If you aren't ready, I understand, but I want you to know that I am. I don't want to wait anymore."

I closed the door and as I did she opened her robe. Under her robe she was wearing a sea green bra that pushed her breasts together and her underwear was just a small piece of matching satin. I was so hard that zipper was starting to be a problem and when she reached over and started unbuttoning my shirt, it didn't help matters.

"I don't want to wait anymore either. We've been patient long enough. I want you Jacob. I want to be with you in every way possible." Her voice had a husky quality that I had never heard before.

I slid my hands under her robe, running them along the bare skin of her stomach. She gasped slightly as my hands ran down the thin string on the back of her thong and I lifted her up gently squeezing her ass in the process. She wrapped her legs around me and with her eyes still locked on mine, she started to circle her hips against me. I was so hard under her, there was no doubt she knew what she was doing was having the desired effect.

I wanted to know she was absolutely ready for us to take this step. "Are you sure?"

Her eyes drooped slightly and she leaned in, her mouth just an inch away from mine. "Make love to me Jacob."

I kissed her deeply as my hand held her to me. I walked her over to the bed and she let her robe fall to the floor before I gently lay her on the bed. I stepped back and looked at my Angel. Finally, tonight we would give each other everything. She smiled at me and the whole rest of the world disappeared.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 – Finally

Renesmee

Jacob kissed me and walked me towards the bed. As we were walking I slowly took my arms out of the robe I was wearing and let it fall to the floor. He walked to the edge of the bed and leaned down, placing me on the pillow. He stepped back and looked at me. The expression on his face was one I wanted to commit to memory. After so many months of waiting, the time was finally here. I felt a fire inside me start in my stomach and move south. Just looking at him in the candlelight, his shirt opened and exposing his stomach muscles and his jeans hung low on his hips.

I leaned up on one elbow and turned towards him, running a finger from the center of his chest down to his belt. He closed his eyes and I heard a shudder in his breath. He kneeled on the bed beside me and I gently pulled the shirt the rest of the way off of him. I ran my nails lightly up his chest to the side of his neck. He moved to lie down beside me and he ran his hand down my hair.

"You are so beautiful. I love you so much. I need you Nessie. I've wanted you for so long. You need to tell me though if I hurt you." I saw the apprehension in his eyes. "I don't want to hurt you."

I leaned into him, grabbing his hand and pulling myself closer to him. "Jake, I want you. I love you. I want this. I ache for you." He quickly pulled me into a kiss, one that completely took my breath away and stoked the fire in my stomach. I felt heat radiating throughout my whole body.

Jake rolled me on my back and started to kiss his way down my neck. As he got to my shoulder he ran his hands down to my breasts. He had always been so careful not to cross lines with me, and he hesitated for a second.

"Don't stop Jake. Please." I whispered and his hands rubbed over my breasts through the satin cups of the bra. He found the hook in the front and as he kissed into my cleavage he undid my bra, letting it fall open. He raised himself up and his eyes scanned down my body. For a moment I was self-conscious, but then he smiled so seductively at me, my nipples cried out for his touch. He moved down my body and I felt on my leg, through his jeans, how hard he was. I gasped slightly as he kissed the side of my right breast and his tongue grazed my nipple. It sent a sensation through me that I never knew was possible. His hands were concentrating on my breasts as him mouth moved between them. I could hear him whispering my name and "I love you" over and over. I placed my hand on his neck to show him how good it felt and he moaned. His hands moved down my body and his fingers hooked into the sides of my thong. I held my breath as Jake slid his fingers along the inside top of them and slowly slid them down my hips. He moved down my body and stood again, looking at me. I was completely naked laying there on the bed. I could tell from the look on his face that he was nervous. I wanted to make this completely enjoyable for him. I didn't want him to look back on this night and think he had to do all the work.

I slid down the bed and stood in front of him. He looked at me, quizzical about what I was doing. I looked up into his eyes and ran my hand down his chest, placing it to rest on the fly of his jeans. His eyes closed and his breath faltered. He opened his eyes again and looked down at me as I unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned his pants and slid them off of his hips. He had on a pair of black jockey underwear and I let my fingers run up the length of him straining to be released. There was a small pool of moisture at the tip and when I started to run my fingers across it, Jake put his hands on my waist and moved me back onto the bed. On the way down, I put my hands on the side of his underwear and removed it down his body.

"I want to look at you. I want to look at the man I love." He stood there as my eyes made their way up and down his naked body. For a split second I was terrified when I took in the size of his erection. I wondered exactly how it would fit. I had had the whole birds and bees talk with my mom, but the logistics never seem as important as they did now.

I looked up at him and smiled weakly. "I don't want to cause you any pain Nessie. You have to tell me if I do." His eyes were pleading with me. "I love you so much. You are my whole world."

I took his hand and as I moved myself back up the bed, I pulled him down with me. He positioned himself over me and moved down my body slightly. I felt his hand at my waist and he looked into my eyes. I ran my hand down his face and we just looked at each other as his hand slid farther down my body. I suddenly felt his hand between my legs and my need for him exploded. I wanted to feel him inside me. In all the times we had been close to this moment, I had never wanted him as badly as I did at that moment. He slowly ran his finger between my fold and he leaned in and kissed me as he gently pushed his finger inside me. A stabbing pain went through me followed by a want for more. He leaned himself to look at me as he moved inside me. I ran my hand down his back, placing my hand on his neck letting him again feel what he was doing to me.

"Oh God", he whispered and he slowly removed his finger.

"I want you Jacob. I want to feel you inside me. I need you now." When the words came out of my mouth it didn't even sound like me. But it was all of my desire for him flowing out of me.

He kissed me again as I widened my legs to let him rest between them. I felt the tip of his erection at my opening and I was nervous and excited all at the same time. I knew if it was painful I would need to hide it from him. He would stop if he thought I was in pain. Slowly, looking into my eyes, he entered me. The pain was something I had never felt before, but again it was followed by wanting more of him; all of him.

"Nessie are you okay?" He slowed and pulled back slightly so I wrapped my legs around him and pushed him deeper inside me. As he moved every nerve in my body came to life. I could feel him everywhere.

"Don't stop Jacob. I want all of you. I need all of you." I panted as he slowly thrusted inside me. I moved my body to match his and he leaned down, kissing my neck and whispering my name in my ear. My whole body felt like it was being consumed, and if felt amazing. Suddenly from deep inside a sensation started to build. It was something I had never felt before. At first it frightened me, but then it felt so good, I started to ride the wave as if overtook my body. I was moaning and didn't even realize it until Jake kisses muffled it. I let Jake feel it. I passed it on to him.

"Oh God Nessie. That's right. Come. I can't last much longer. Come with me." As he said those words my whole body contracted around his. I heard him cry my name as his body released itself inside me.

When the wave was over, I felt boneless. Jake's body collapsed on top of me and I held him close to me. "I love you Jacob Black. I want to share everything with you. And I want to do that as often as possible."

He was still inside me and his laughter sent another wave starting. "I couldn't agree more." He kissed me as his body left mine and he lay beside me. I snuggled up against his chest and started to drift off to sleep. Jake reached down and grabbed the covers to put over us. "I have a lot to tell you. So much has happened it just the last week; you aren't going to believe it." I heard the word, and I wanted to listen but sleep seemed to be winning my battle to stay awake.

"What's happened?" I slurred and Jake laughed.

"Sleep now Baby. We can talk in the morning. I am so in love with you Renesmee Carlie Cullen that I can't stand it. And I am planning on making love to you as often as humanly possible." He kissed my forehead as sleep over took me.

I felt safe, loved and at peace. I drifted off knowing that in the morning I would get that repeat performance, hopefully followed by encore after encore.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25 – Worth the Wait

Jacob

I looked at my Nessie and suddenly all of the waiting made sense. No other time would have been as right as now. Tonight, after so much time apart and uncertainty, everything was happening as it should. I watched as the candlelight danced across her skin. She turned on her side and placed one finger on my chest. That one touch almost shattered me. I closed my eyes and tried to maintain control as she ran her finger down to my waist. I slowly went down to my knees at the side of the bed before my legs gave out completely. Her eyes locked on mine as she slowly took my shirt off of me. As it fell to the floor beside me, she ran her nails softly up my chest, letting her hand rest on my neck. I wanted to have her in my arms, to feel her body next to mine.

I moved to the bed, lying down beside her. I didn't want anything to be rushed tonight. I wanted to experience all of her, and savor every second. I looked at her beautiful face and I realized that I had so much I had to say that I couldn't remember if I had since seeing her tonight. I ran my hand over her soft hair and I could see her amazing soul through her eyes. The fear of the unknown of what was about to happen still was clinging in my mind. "You are so beautiful. I love you so much. I need you Nessie. I've wanted you for so long. You need to tell me though if I hurt you."

She looked at me with such trust and I was more worried than ever that this first time together would not go as we had dreamed.

"I don't want to hurt you."

She took a deep breath and pulled herself so she was tight against me, looking into my eyes. I felt her breath on my skin and her smell intoxicated me.

"Jake, I want you. I love you. I want this. I ache for you."

I couldn't restrain myself any longer. I pulled her into a kiss and I felt like I would explode. I wanted to taste every inch of her, I wanted to see her and feel her with nothing between us.

I rolled her so that she was on her back and I started to kiss my way down her body. I ran my tongue down her neck and let her sweet scent fill my head. I wanted to block out everything but her. As I worked my way down her shoulder, my hands moved farther down her body. Out of habit, I stopped before I reached the desired destination. I rose up slightly and then Nessie's voice brought me back to the fact that there was no more waiting. This was what we had wanted and had longed for for so long.

"Don't stop Jake. Please."

I ran my hands over her breasts. I was now on the verge of going farther than we had ever gone before. This was the line that I danced on so many times; always pulling away at the last minute. I moved down her body slightly so that I could see her. I had, many times, imagined what Nessie would look like naked. I held my breath as I found the hook to her bra placed in between her breasts. I lightly ran my hand over the satin that covered them and slowly unhooked the clasp.

I didn't think it was possible for me to get any harder than I was, but the sight of her bare breasts made my jeans suddenly tighter. I felt Nessie's breath become shallow and I looked down at her and smiled. I moved slightly farther down her, rubbing myself against her leg. In all of my fantasies about this beautiful woman, none of them had done her justice. Her breasts were perfect. I move my mouth to her, kissing the side of her right breast. I ran my tongue across her nipple. I tasted her, and before I knew what was happening, my mouth was devouring her breast. I could feel her slightly arch her back and hear her moan softly under me and that just made me want her more, which I didn't think was possible. I kept moving between her breasts. "Nessie, I love you."

Suddenly, Nessie moved her hand to my neck and sent me a sensation that almost made me go over the edge. Every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire. I realized that was how I was making her feel and I wanted more. I wanted her to feel more. I slowly moved my hands down her body, reaching the thin waist band of the blue thong she was wearing. I ran my fingers just under the band and I felt Nessie holding her breath. I moved to stand so I could take her in with my eyes and as I did, I removed the last barrier the kept her from being completely and totally mine.

I stood there, committing her image to memory. As I looked at her, the fact that this was my first time doing this too flooded over me. What if I wasn't good? What if it didn't last very long? And I was still scared to death that I would cause Nessie a lot of pain.

Nessie slid down the bed and stood in front of me. My eyes scanned her body and as I did, I started to wonder how she was so good at being so damn sexy. I felt like a borderline idiot, and standing before me was a mighty seductress. She looked up at me and ran her hands across my chest. Her touch brought a fire to my skin that traveled where ever her fingers moved. Nessie slowly moved her hand down to the front of my jeans and I had to close my eyes and concentrate so I could maintain my cool. When I opened my eyes again, I looked down at her as she removed my jeans. I felt such relief to be free from those confines. Nessie ran her fingers across my underwear, and as her fingers got to the tip of me I couldn't wait any longer. As I gently grabbed her to push her back on the bed, she somehow removed the very last article of clothing between us. She gently pushed me back so I was standing in front of her.

"I want to look at you. I want to look at the man I love." I watched as her eyes scanned my body. I saw her eyes widen as she truly saw me for the first time. I could almost see the look of doubt on her face, wondering how and if we would fit together. Then I started to wonder the same thing. I had seen so many movies about what a first time was like for a woman that they would be in pain with an average man. Well because of my freaky DNA, I was no average man. But then again, Nessie was no average woman.

"I don't want to cause you any pain Nessie. You have to tell me if I do." I just wanted everything to be perfect. "I love you so much. You are my whole world."

She reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me to her as she moved back to lay on the pillows. I felt her body under me, her nipples hard against my chest. I just looked into her eyes as my hand moved down to her waist. I wanted to try to do this in stages. I thought it would be better. My hand moved down to her thigh as I moved my body slightly lower and positioned myself to her side. I moved my hand slowly up the inside of her thigh and I let my fingers run along the wetness I found there. I slowly moved one finger, looking in her eyes as I entered her. She winced slightly and then looked at me as I moved into her deeper. Her body wrapped around my finger as I moved in her. Nessie ran her hand down my back and sent a sensation through me that made me know that I couldn't wait any longer.

"Oh God." I wanted to be inside her. I needed to take her as mine. I slowly pulled my finger from her and as I did her desire for me came pouring out.

"I want you Jacob. I want to feel you inside me. I need you now."

I kissed her deeply as I positioned myself between her legs. She was so wet and I wanted her so badly, I had to concentrate not to just plunge myself inside her. I looked into her eyes as I slowly entered her. She was so tight and her body was pushing against me as I steadily made my way deeper inside her. I saw the pain color her face and I started to pull myself out of her.

"Nessie are you okay?" I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if I should stop, or keep going.

Nessie made the decision for me. She wrapped her legs around me, pushing me deeper into her. "Don't stop Jacob. I want all of you. I need all of you."

I worked my way deeper inside her with each thrust. She was moving against me, and soon I was all the way inside of her. I kissed her, letting her body wrap around me, sucking me deeper inside. I had never imagined making love to Nessie would feel this good. Being one with her would be this amazing.

Suddenly I felt Nessie's body start to contract around me. She moved her hand to my neck and I could feel her orgasm build. I knew I couldn't hold out much longer, especially with her sending me what she was feeling. I moved faster, we were moving together harder. My whole body started to tense and I knew my release was not going to wait much longer.

"Oh God Nessie. That's right. Come. I can't last much longer. Come with me." I felt the walls that surrounded me contract. Nessie's orgasm brought mine with it. As I released inside her I felt more alive than I ever knew possible. There was not a feeling in the world that compared with this. The sensation seemed to last forever, but was still over way too soon.

My body was motionless as Nessie held me close. "I love you Jacob Black. I want to share everything with you. And I want to do that as often as possible."

That made me laugh and I felt the walls that still contained me squeeze slightly. I slowly left Nessie's body and I felt exhausted but happy.

"I couldn't agree more."

Nessie moved into my side, placing her head on my chest. I pulled the covers over us. I realized that I hadn't told her about any of the changes that had taken place back home.

"I have a lot to tell you. So much has happened it just the last week; you aren't going to believe it."

Nessie's words were slurred with exhaustion, "What happened?"

I laughed because I knew that no matter what I told her she wouldn't remember. "Sleep now Baby. We can talk in the morning. I am so in love with you Renesmee Carlie Cullen that I can't stand it. And I am planning on making love to you as often as humanly possible."

As she drifted off to sleep, I was so thankful for my life. As messed up as it may seem to outsiders, because of all the craziness, I had Nessie.

As I started to drift off to sleep, I laughed to myself slightly. Nessie and I would have to come up with a great way to block our thoughts from Edward. Worst case scenario, at least I wouldn't die a virgin.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26 – Starting of a Brand New Day

When I woke the next morning, I thought I was dreaming. Could it be possible that Jacob was here, with his arms wrapped around me after making love to me last night? As I moved slightly his arms tightened around me and I felt his kiss on the top of my head. I looked up at him and we started right where we had left off the night before. We made love all morning and finally decided we had prolonged the inevitable long enough. It was past noon and my family would come to us soon if we didn't make our way to my Grandparent's house.

Jake and I took a shower together and then as we were dressing, I remembered that last night he had told me he had big news to share.

"So what are the big changes that have happened? I'm sorry I fell asleep last night before you could tell me." I looked over to him and he was lounging on the bed in just his jeans, watching me dress. A big smile came to his face and he stood and crossed to me. I had on my jeans and a bra, with a cream colored turtle neck in my hand. He wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead.

"Well you are looking at a future business and home owner." He laughed and I pulled back from him passing him a questioning look. "Billy and Charlie have gotten the tribe elders to give me that old abandoned garage at the edge of La Push and they got me the contracts for Forks and La Push to do the service work on their vehicles. It will give the whole pack and I a way to make a living."

The joy that spread through me was indescribable. I knew how the Pack was limited on their opportunities. I was beyond ecstatic that finally others were seeing it as well. "Well that is the business part, but what about the house side of the story?" He let me go and walked back to the bed, putting on his shirt in the process.

"Well apparently, your family has decided that you and I need to have a place to settle down in. They have given us a piece of land, next to the creek and close to both the cottage and main house and a short run to La Push for us to build a house. Esme and I have been working on plans and once you sign off on them, we will all get started on building." So much had happened while I was away, but even more happened in that instant. Jacob and I were going to have a home together. We were going to build a life together. Without even realizing what I was doing, I found myself screaming and running towards the bed. I tackled him and started kissing him. Jake started to laugh under me and pushed me back.

"Baby could you do me a favor. As much as I love this, I need you to get dressed for me." I slid off of him and crossed back to pick up my turtle neck.

After I slid it over my head, I gave him a fake pout. "What are you tired of me already?" Jake stood and crossed to me again.

"Never baby, it is just that when your Dad picks this moment from my thoughts, I would like you to be fully clothed." Jacob got down on one knee in front of me. I held my breath when I realized what he was doing. I felt the tears fall down my cheeks and I was too much in shock to stop them. "Renessme Carlie Cullen, I love you with all my heart. You are my reason for being on the earth. You are what makes each day worth living. Will you spend the rest of eternity with me as my wife?" He held out a small red box and opened it to reveal a ring I had seen before. It belonged to my Grandmother. She had told me that Grandpa had given it to her shortly after he changed her. It was a round diamond surrounded by opals. I remembered telling her when I was very young that someday I wanted Jake to give me a ring just like that one. It was before I understood about imprinting, but she had known.

I had no doubt that she gave it to Jake, to fulfill yet another of my dreams.

"Of course I will marry you Jacob Black. I would be honored to be your wife." He slowly slid the ring on my finger and I lowered down to my knees and kissed him. I pulled back from him and smiled. "It is a good thing that Aunt Alice can't see our futures. If she could she would be pounding down the door ready to discuss wedding plans."

"Are you going to let her plan it?" Jake laughed and shook his head, "Never-mind, stupid question." He pulled me to my feet. "Finish getting ready, we need to get going, and we might want to think of something to keep your Dad from killing both of us."

I laughed, "If you want my Dad to ignore your thoughts, just sing that stupid Chicken Dance song, and he will avoid you like the plague. Trust me." I kissed him and then went to finish getting ready.

As we were walking to the car, we ran into Brian. He looked at us and just shook his head. "Well I didn't think I would see you two leave the apartment. Tired of each other already?"

"Family obligation, but I will let you be the first to congratulate us. Jake and I are engaged." I held out my hand so he could look at the ring. Jake held me a little tighter and when Brian held out his hand to him, he quickly took it.

"Congratulations." Brian pulled me into a quick hug. "Let me give you an engagement present then. Don't worry about the notice. You two go and start your life together."

"Are you sure Brian, I don't want to leave you shorthanded." I didn't want to stay, but I would follow through with my obligations.

"Vanessa, go. Just drop the key off when you are ready. And I will be expecting a wedding invitation!"

"You got it. Thank you Brian. I really didn't want to go home without her." Jake shook his hand again.

"No problem, no get out of here before I change my mind." Jake and I got in the car and we made our way to Estacada. It wasn't a long drive, about 30 minutes. Jake told me about the plans for the house and I talked about now that I was going to be going back, I could continue with school and not have to miss Winter term.

The driveway to the house was not that much different than the one in Forks; a very nondescript dirt road. It was lined with trees and like the house in Forks, it opened up to a large yard. The house, on the other hand was completely different. This home was what could be described as a log cabin from the outside. It was three stories, with large windows and decks that exited off of almost every room. The walkway to the front door was lined with hanging baskets filled with poinsettias and Mount Hood stood as a perfect back drop to the setting. I loved this house, not as much as home, but where ever I felt my family, I couldn't help but feel at home.

Before the car even came to a stop, my family was waiting for us on the front porch. I quickly exited the car ran to my mother. I told them all of Jake and my engagement and they all gave their congratulations and we went inside and started to catch up.

I carefully watched my father and he was pacing, rubbing his temples. Leave it up to my Uncle Emmett to make an awkward situation even more uncomfortable.

"You doing okay there Edward? You are looking a little green around the gills." He laughed and punched Jake in the shoulder. Jake looked like he was about ready to bolt for the door.

"I'm going hunting if anyone wants to come." My Dad made his way towards the door. "It's like Oktoberfest in my head and I'm getting a headache." He walked by Jake and whispered something to him I couldn't hear and then he was out the door followed by my Mother, Uncle Emmett and Aunt Rose.

Aunt Alice crossed to me and grabbed my hands. "So what do you want to work on first, the wedding or the house?" I had already made up my mind about one thing and it was going to be a special gift just for Aunt Alice.

"Well I am handing all the wedding plans over to you, so make it wonderful as I know you will. As for the house, I think Jake has a really good start going. What I really want to do is grab my fellow Husky here and get registered before we end up with only basket weaving and bowling classes available." Jake kissed me and then followed Grandma into her den. Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper retreated to the computer in their room, leaving Seth and I to use the laptop in the living room.

"I'm so glad you're back Nessie. I've missed you." Seth hugged me and when he did, I felt this peace come over me. Almost like when I was with Jake, but not as strong. "Nessie you okay, you're looking at me funny."

"Yeah I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night." Seth actually giggled and I punched him in the arm.

"Hey"

We both laughed and got registered for our classes. Two of which we could take online, so we only would have to go into the school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. When we were done, Seth went to the kitchen to get a drink. When he did, I felt this over powering urge to follow him. But again not as strong as the urge to find Jake was. I sat there for a minute and I felt like I was missing something. I had missed Seth when I was gone, but this as different. Suddenly I started to hyperventilate. I stood quickly and went to my Grandfather's office. I knocked and he invited me in.

"It is so good to have you back Nessie." He hugged me and I sat in the chair on the opposite side of his desk. "To what do I owe this visit?" Grandpa always knew when a visit wasn't just a visit.

I took a deep breath and tried to organize my thoughts. If history was repeating itself, there was nothing I could do about it now. "Grandpa I have a question about anatomy and physiology. Particularly my anatomy and physiology."

He just smiled at me and nodded his head for me to continue.

"Well since Jake and I are starting a life together, I wanted to go over the chances of us conceiving a child. I know we have talked about this before, but I just wanted to get this straight in my own head. Since I don't have anything close to a normal menstrual cycle, there is almost no chance of me conceiving is that correct?"

He looked at me and smiled. "When we talked about this before you had no menstrual cycle at all. Are you experiencing one now?"

"I only bleed for one day about every other month." That had only started about a year ago.

"Well that changes everything Nessie. The appearance of a cycle of any kind gives hope for the chance that you and Jacob can have children." I started to cry instantly for two reasons. First of all, I was overjoyed at the fact that Jake and I might be able to raise a family, but more pressing was the fact that I thought it could be happening sooner than we planned. "I hope those are happy tear." I just shrugged my shoulders and he came and knelt in front of me. "What is it Nessie? I thought this would make you happy."

I looked at him and I knew I had to tell him. I knew that because of all the problems my Mom had while carrying me, the sooner my Grandfather was involved the better it would be for everyone involved. "Nothing makes me happier than the thought of starting a family with Jake. It is just that, well because of our past conversation, Jake and I were intimate last night without protection." He nodded and I saw his doctor mask being put into place. "Well I remember what Mom and Jake said it was like when she was pregnant with me, how they didn't want to be away from each other. Just now when I was with Seth, something felt different. And when he left the room, it was like I had this need to follow him. It felt a lot like when Jake is away from me, but not as strong. You don't think I could be pregnant do you?" My Grandfather jumped to his feet. He ran to the door and called for my Grandmother and Jake.

"Is everything alright dear?" Grandma quickly came into the room, followed by Jake.

"I have to run to the hospital for some supplies. I need you to stay here with Nessie while I'm gone." He hugged Grandma and as he started out the door Jake grabbed his arm.

"What is it Doc? Is there something wrong with Nessie?" Jake's eyes settled on me full of worry.

"I will let her fill you in on the good news; because it is good news." Grandpa looked at me and winked. "Remember that young lady. This is nothing but good news." And he was gone before I could smile in return.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27 – Knock Me Over With a Feather

Jacob POV

Before we had left Forks last night, Esme had pulled me aside. She had handed me a small red box and told me it contained a ring that Nessie had expressed she wanted to receive from me.

"When you are ready, give it to her. Share and build a life with her Jacob. Love each other." She had kissed me on the cheek and then left me alone with my thoughts.

Now as I was filling in Nessie on all the news and progress we have made, I realize that now is the right time. I didn't want to wait anymore.

"Esme and I are working on the plans and once you sign off on them, we will all get started building." Nessie squealed and tackled me, forcing me back on the bed. I was ready to propose, but I realized that Edward deserved more than a repeated image of Nessie in a bra and jeans while I asked her to marry me.

"Baby could you do me a favor. As much as I love this, I need you to get dressed." She slid off me, and I almost decided to remove her clothes instead of having he dress, but I wanted to take this step to make sure that what we had just been through, the separation, never happened again.

I watched as he pulled her shirt over her head and she gave me a sexy little pout. "What are you tired of me already?"

As I stood from the bed, the butterflies hit me. I wanted this to be romantic, but I didn't want it to be cheesy. I should have talked to Bella about how to do this, but then again, she is Nessie's Mom, and she would have freaked out. As I got closer to her, the butterflies disappeared and a peace washed over me.

"Never baby, it is just that when your Dad picks this moment from my thoughts, I would like you to be fully clothed." I took a deep breath and got down on one knee. Nessie started to cry, but I could tell they were tears of joy. "Renessme Carlie Cullen, I love you with all my heart. You are my reason for being on the earth. You are what makes each day worth living. Will you spend the rest of eternity with me as my wife?" I held the ring out to her and she gasped. Her beautiful face lit up and I realized that this was the happiest moment of my life, up till this point.

"Of course I will marry you Jacob Black. I would be honored to be your wife." I put the ring on her finger and she went to her knees and kissed me. She started to giggle and pulled back from me. "It's a good thing that Aunt Alice can't see our futures. If she could she would be pounding down the door ready to discuss wedding plans."

Crap, I had forgotten all about the Pixie. I guess a small, simple wedding will be out. "Are you going to let her plan it." As soon as the words came out, I knew there would be no other option and I laughed. "Never mind, stupid question." I helped her to her feet and then my worry from last night hit me square in the head. How was I going to keep Edward from killing me when he realized that Nessie and I had, well you know. "Well finish getting ready, we need to get going, and we might want to think of something to keep your Dad from killing both of us." I played it as a joke, but in the back of my mind, I knew in my case it was an actual possibility.

Nessie laughed. "If you want my Dad to ignore your thoughts, just sing that stupid Chicken Dance song, and he'll avoid you like the plague. Trust me." She kissed me and finished getting ready.

On the way out to the car, we ran into her friend Brian. He agreed to let Nessie out of her obligations there so she could go home with me. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but there was something about the way he looked at Nessie. It didn't make me jealous, it was more like he was calculating. I was glad she would be away from him.

We talked on the drive to Doc's and it was so nice just to be with Nessie again. As soon as we got to the end of the driveway, I started to sing the Chicken Dance song in my head. So while I was aware that Nessie had told the family of our engagement, I didn't hear anything that anyone had to say. All I kept thinking was …. Da Da Da Da Da Da Da clap clap clap clap. Over and over. We sat in the living room. Nessie was setting next to me which was not helping. I concentrated harder and suddenly I heard Edward's voice in my ear.

"I appreciate your effort my friend, but Nessie is an open book. Just take care of her, that is all I ask."

I looked at him and he gave me a slight smile before exiting the house followed by Bella, Emmett and Blondie.

Nessie wanted to register for classes with Seth and sent Alice and Jasper to work on the wedding and Esme and I went to work on the house plans in her den.

Being around Esme is easy. She is so kind and she has always just seen me as Jacob. We had been working on the plans for a while when Seth came into the room. He gave me a strange look and then came to look at the plans.

"This looks really nice guys." There was a shake in Seth's voice that I had never heard before.

"You okay man?" I looked at him and he looked away quickly.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Why?"

"You just seem a little jumpy that's all." Just then Doc called Esme and I to his office. Seth stayed behind, his head over the plans. I looked back at him as I passed through the door. Something was definitely up.

When we got to the door, Doc's face was a mixture of excitement and worry. Esme saw it too.

"Is everything okay dear?"

"I have to run to the hospital for some supplies. I need you to stay with Nessie while I'm gone." He hugged Esme and started to walk away, but that wasn't going to happen without some kind of answer.

"What is it Doc? I there something wrong with Nessie?" I looked at her and she was crying. What had happened in the short time I was in the den? And is that why Seth was acting so funny?

"I will let her fill you in on the good news. Because it is good news." Doc looked at Nessie and winked. "Remember that young lady. This is nothing but good news." And before I could say anything else he was gone.

I crossed to Nessie and knelt in front of her, placing my hand on her face. She leaned into me and her tears increased. "Baby, what's going on." I was trying to sound as calm as possible. We all know what can happen when I lose my temper.

Nessie looked at Esme. "Grandma, could you please give Jake and me a few minutes?" Esme nodded her head and left the room.

Nessie took a deep breath. She closed her eyes, then quickly opened them, locking on mine. I was starting to go a little crazy. Patience is something I lacked.

"Jake I love you. Please don't forget that. What I am going to tell you is not definite, it is just a possibility so I need for you not to get your hopes up, but most importantly, not get angry." She gave me a half smile and for some reason I felt like I was going to be sick. I nodded my head so she would continue. "When Seth and I were alone earlier, he hugged me, and I felt a connection, not as strong as the one I have with you, but I had never felt it before. Then when he left the room, I wanted to go with him." I felt a growl form in my chest, but I was able to stifle it before it could be heard. "I came up here to ask Grandpa if there was any chance that I could be pregnant because I remembered what you have all told me about when Mom was pregnant with me and how the two of you felt connected." All of a sudden as the realization of what she was saying hit me, I found myself flat on my butt. I looked at her, but she was just silent, panic covering her face.

"Nessie, I thought Doc told you that you couldn't have kids?" I remember her being so upset when he told her, I was upset too, but I had resigned myself to the fact that it would be just the two of us before that. I didn't want to see her go through what Bella did.

"Well, something changed. I started having a period about a year ago."

"When? You never even told me, I think I would have known." I knew enough from being around Leah that Nessie's scent would have changed slightly.

She smiled at me. "Remember those few times that Mom and I went on those girl only hunting trips?" I nodded my head. "Well, we actually went to Seattle and stayed in a hotel for the night. It only happened about every three months and only for about a day."

"Why didn't you tell me?" This seemed like something big to keep from me.

"I was embarrassed. The only people that knew were my parents and the only reason why my Dad knew was because I couldn't keep it from him. I really didn't think that it was enough to make a difference."

Then everything she had just told me fell into place. "So what you are saying is that there is a possibility that you are pregnant with Seth's imprint. Is that right?" I realized that my voice might be harsher than I wanted to be. And then the dream I had had on the day of Nessie's car accident came flooding back into my head and I started to laugh. I looked back to Nessie and she was crying and looked hurt.

"Jacob Black, I just told you I think I am pregnant with your child and you are laughing at me?"

"No Baby. I am going to wait until Doc gives us a definite before I get excited, because I will be excited. It is just that I had a dream, a while ago where I was at a wedding giving the bride away and Seth was the groom. The beautiful girl on my arm said, "I love you Daddy." So right now, I am feeling sympathy for both Seth and your Dad because right now, I want to put Seth through a wall, even though I know it is not his fault and hug him and tell him I understand, because he is in the den right now freaking out and doesn't have a clue why." It all made sense. And at that moment, I was 99.9% positive that Nessie and I were going to have a baby. Oh my God. Nessie and I were going to have a baby.

The events that happened next, happened so fast that I couldn't react. The door was flung open and I was being lifted off the floor and thrown to the wall. Edward was pinning me there, rage covering his face. "You Son of a Bitch." He growled at me and the last thing I heard was Nessie scream.

"Daddy Stop."


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28 – Stuck in the Middle

Renessme's POV

I didn't even have time to process what Jake had said to me. Suddenly my father had him pinned against the wall, a growl filling the room.

"You Son of a Bitch." I had never seen my father act this way and I thought at that moment Jake's life was truly in danger.

"Daddy STOP!" I screamed and started towards them, determined to do what I had to keep them from hurting each other. Before I could make any progress, Seth was standing in front of me, blocking my path. I looked around him and saw my Dad step back, confused. Then I saw Jake's eyes and he was looking at Seth seething.

"Step away from Nessie. Clearwater I mean it. Stay away from her." Just as I had never seen my father react as he had, Jacob's reaction took me off guard as well.

"Jake, calm down, I was just keeping Nessie out of harms way. That's all." Seth took a step to the side, but placed his hand on my arm.

Jake closed the distance between us and came within inches of Seth, staring him down. "I said, step away."

Seth gently released my arm and took a few steps away from me. The look of hurt and confusion on his face, made me want to comfort him, but I knew that would just make matters worse. So I focused my attention on the immature shape shifter with a short memory span in front of me.

"Jacob Black. You of all people should appreciate what is going on here and cut Seth some slack. Behave yourself." He looked down at me and sighed. Then he very sheepishly looked between Seth and me. He put his hand on my face and kissed my forehead.

The short silence was broken by a very unexpected sound, my Father's laughter. Jake looked towards him and my Dad crossed to us. Dad took a deep breath, closed his eyes and when he opened them, they were shooting daggers again.

"I am not going to lie and say that I am not disappointed, in both of you." His eyes crossed to me and I felt my own eyes fill up with tears. "But now we just need to get through this with everyone, and I do mean everyone, healthy." Then a smile crossed his face and he slapped Jake on the back. "That being said, karma is a glorious thing." He walked over to my mother who was standing in the doorway with a confused look on her face.

"Would anyone care to share what is going on here?" She looked to my Dad and then back to Jake and me.

_Daddy, I wanted to wait to say anything until Grandpa got back. Please. _I sent my thoughts to my Dad and he nodded his head, still laughing.

"All will be revealed in time Love." Daddy kissed my Mother and started out the door. "Jake, Nessie, I will take your Aunts and Uncles downstairs, but I think you might need to have a discussion with Seth." Daddy crossed to us and looked back to make sure the others had left. He leaned in and whispered low enough for the others not to hear. "You were in his shoes once, remember what he is going through." Jake nodded and Daddy left the room, closing the door behind him, leaving just Jake, Seth and me.

"Jake I swear, I wasn't trying to hurt her, you know that right?" Seth looked like he was about to cry and I crossed to him. I gave him a big hug and he sighed. "What's going on Nessie? I feel really weird and you guys are acting strange..." He voice trailed off.

"Seth have a seat." Jake took my hand and went to sit in one of the brown leather wing back chairs, pulling me into his lap, while Seth sat on the matching sofa opposite. "I'm sorry for the way I acted. What is going on is not your fault. Trust me on that. I know from experience." Jake put his head on my shoulders and took a moment to collect his thoughts. "Seth do you remember how a while back we had that long talk about how Nessie and I couldn't start a family?" Seth nodded his head. "Well signs are pointing to the fact that we might not have had all the information. There is a good chance that Nessie and I are going to have a baby."

Seth jumped to his feet and wrapped us both in a hug. "That is great. I am so happy for you guys." But he pulled away and looked at us. "But wait a minute. I didn't think you two had..." he motioned with his hand, "yet."

I blushed and looked down, but then returned my gaze to him. "Well last night we..." I motioned with my hands. "Then when I saw you today, something was different. There was this pull between us."

Seth started nodding his head. "I know. It was so weird. I all of a sudden it felt like I needed to protect you. More than usual I mean." Suddenly understanding covered Seth's face. He fell back on the couch and a tear rolled down his cheek. "But it is so fast. How could we know so fast?" The look on Seth's face changed when he looked at me. Suddenly the love I saw there took my breath away. I heard Jake growl behind me and I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Sorry."

"We have so many questions yet to be answered. Lets face it, even for us this is fast. We don't even have confirmation that we are going to have a baby yet. And then there are the other questions that will arise if we get confirmation. This baby will be part vampire, part human and part shape shifter. We don't know how long the pregnancy is going to be. We don't know if I'll have complications like my mom did. We don't know any of it." I felt Jake's head rest on my shoulder again and the weight of the word I had just spoken hit me like a ton of bricks. I started to cry and Jake wrapped his arms around me trying to comfort me.

Seth came and knelt down in front of us. He looked older somehow. "I love you guys. I hope you know that. And I am here for you both no matter what. I won't get in the way, I just ask that you try to remember and understand what me and the little one are going through." I smiled at him and Jake patted him on the arm.

"Welcome to the party Brother. I promise I will do my best."

Just then my Grandfather returned. "Nessie, would you please follow me to the room down the hall? Gentlemen, stay here please." I kissed Jake and squeezed Seth's arm.

"You two behave yourselves." I looked back to them before I left the room. They both smiled at me and nodded their heads. I followed my Grandfather down the hall to a makeshift hospital room.

"Set on the bed please Nessie. Would you raise your sleeve please?" We found out during my childhood that I was capable of bleeding, and Grandpa had drawn my blood over the years for research purposes. He had to work quickly however, because my body healed at a remarkable speed. Once he had filled four test tubes, he removed the needle from my arm and went to work. I sat there is silence, watching as Grandpa put my blood through machines and under microscopes. I lay back on the bed and the warm light above me, pushed me into sleep. I found myself slipping into a dream.

I was setting in a large rocking chair. I had the most beautiful child in my arms. Her hair jet black had a small pink ribbon clinging to a few strands. The chair was turned towards large window that looked out over the creek. I was humming to her one of my father's compositions. I was happy. I was complete. Suddenly a shadow came into my vision. I turned to see Brian standing there. But not the Brian I knew. He was dressed in his normal, casual attire, but his eyes were bright red.

"Brian, what are you doing here?" Terror flooded through me and I held the baby tighter.

Brian smiled and my stomach lurched. "It is nothing personal Nessie. You were just a means to an end. Now be a good girl and give me the baby." I pulled the baby closer to me and ran. As I went through the door, which my mind told me would take us to the kitchen, I suddenly found myself in a stone cell. I looked down and the baby was gone, but I was now very pregnant. I slowly turned and took in my surrounding. The stone ceiling was high and the only light coming in was from a window high on one wall. The room contained a bed and a wash basin and that was all. As I turned Brian was standing in the door, the only exit from the room.

Brian's face turned hard and his lips pierced together. He just shook his head. "So be it." He stepped back and swung the large stone door in place.

I sat up quickly in bed and my Grandfather crossed to me. "Nessie are you alright?"

I smiled at him. "I don't know, you tell me." He gave me a stern look. "I'm fine, just a bad dream."

Grandpa took my hand and smiled. "Well I can't give you a definitive answer yet, it is too soon, but judging by the increased hormone levels in your blood, I would have to say that congratulations are in order. I would also have to say that we are going to have to monitor you very carefully. We have no idea how your body will react to this pregnancy or what the genetic make-up of the child will be. But one thing can be assumed from your and Seth's reactions to each other. It looks like you are having a girl."

I let the emotions overtake me; a mixture of joy and fear. Jake and I were going to have a family, but the stories of my mother's pregnancy kept filling my head. I would do anything for this baby, I was just afraid that I wouldn't be as strong as my mother. And everything was happening so quickly. Jake and I have had barely just a heartbeat of time together, now we were changing again.

And then there was Seth. He was one of my best friends. Would this change our friendship?

For so long I tried to convince everyone that I was a grown woman. But here I sat, feeling like a scared child.


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29 - Welcome to the Party.

Jacob's POV

We watched as Nessie left the room with Doc. Once the door closed behind them I watched as Seth let out a breath he had been holding and ran his hand over his face. I was remembering all those conflicting emotions I had when Bella was pregnant with Nessie. The poor guy was going to be in for a rough time.

Suddenly I felt like I had just been smacked on the back of the head by a baseball bat. I was going to be a father. Nessie and I were going to have a baby. I slumped back in my seat and closed my eyes.

"Jake are you okay?" Seth's voice was wary and full of apprehension. I opened my eyes and looked at my good friend. He was like a brother to me, and now suddenly, he would take a new role in my life. This was the man who would be to my daughter what I had been to Nessie. As much shock as I think I was in, I was comforted by that fact. I trusted Seth more than I trusted almost anyone.

"I'm gonna be a Dad. Crap, only me." I laughed slightly. "Nessie and I finally are together. One night. That was it and now I'm going to be a dad."

"We don't know that for sure yet." Seth was trying to be supportive, but the excitement and worry in his eyes told a different story. I raised my eyebrows and he shook his head. "Okay so we do know, but still let's wait for Doc."

We sat in silence for a long time and then there was a knock on the door. Edward entered and sat in the matching wing back chair next to mine.

"How are you two holding up?" He had calmed since pinning me against the wall, but I still was on guard.

"Not so good. Do you have any idea what Nessie could be facing? There has never been anything like us before has there?" I closed my eyes and images of Nessie's birth flashed through my head. The pain that Bella had to endure. I didn't know if I could be a strong as Edward was.

"Jacob you will all be fine. Nessie is strong, and this child is more human than anything else. Remember that. And Seth, I expect you to give this one as much grief as possible." He winked at me and sat back in his chair.

"Do you hear anything from Doc?" I was getting impatient.

Edward concentrated, "Not yet, but Nessie seems to be dreaming." He smiled and then his face turned dark. "That's strange." He stood and crossed to the door. He then turned and looked at me, and the level of concentration on his face was one I hadn't seen before.

I stood and crossed to him. "What is it?"

"It's like something is blocking her dream. I saw the start of it, she was setting in rocking chair, holding a baby, but then it just went blank. I can hear everyone else, but Nessie is just blank."

He quickly opened the door and went downstairs. And just as quickly he returned. "Bella isn't blocking her." He concentrated again and shook his head. "She's awake now." He smiled then and motioned for us to go back into Doc's office. We started the waiting game again, but luckily it was a short round.

Doc opened the door and told me to go be with my girl. "We'll be down explaining to the family. That is what Nessie asked for me to do. She's scared Jacob. I know you are also, but we will do everything in our power to get all of you through this." I stood and quickly left the room, heading down the hall to Nessie. I looked in the open door and she was setting on the bed, looking at the floor. She looked so small. I hated myself for a split second, but then I realized that I couldn't hate the fact that Nessie was carrying my child.

She heard me enter the room and looked to me with tears streaming down her face. I was quickly in front of her, picking her up in my arms and cradling her against my chest.

"Jake, I'm scared." I kissed her forehead and gently rocked her in my arms. "I'm sorry."

"Baby you have nothing to be sorry about." She looked into my eyes, and I didn't think it was possible for me to love her more than I already did, but my love now wasn't just for her, it was for our child also. "This is a miracle Nessie. We are going to have a baby. We will get through this." I sat on the bed and lay back, placing Nessie next to me.

"How is Seth?"

I laughed. "He's confused and scared. But excited. He is finally feeling that what he's been waiting for, without even knowing it, is finally here."

We lay there is silence for a while, just listening to each other breathe. Then I started to wonder again about Edward not being able to see Nessie's dream.

"Baby, what were you dreaming about earlier? Your Dad said he felt blocked somehow."

She sighed, "It was nothing really, to be honest, I only remember setting in a rocking chair, holding our daughter. I don't remember anything else, just waking up."

There was a knock then on the door and I looked to see the family standing there. Seth was standing in front of the group, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. Nessie sat up and motioned for him to come over to us. Seth practically ran to the bed and pulled us both into a hug. I heard him whisper "Thank you," and then released us to take a place at the head of the bed on Nessie's side. I just shook my head and glared at Edward who looked like he was trying really hard not to burst out laughing.

_Keep laughing GRANDPA! _I passed the thought to him and he glared at me. Bella noticed the exchange between us and slapped his arm.

"Edward, behave."

Then leave it to Emmett to take the focus off of us.

"Babies having babies. What has this world come to." There was the sound of a sudden intake of air, and then Edward and Jasper threw themselves at Emmett. The three of them went rolling down the stairs. Their women stood at the top of the stairs shaking their heads. "Okay. I get it. Not ready to joke about it yet." They all returned to the room and Emmett looked at us sheepishly. "Sorry."

"So Nessie, Jake, we all talked and the family is moving back to Forks. I want to be there in case you need us and we need to get your house built as soon as possible." Doc smiled and the family circled the bed.

"Are you sure? I hate to have you put in any kind of danger." Nessie looked at all of her family and the worry seeped out in her voice.

"We are safer in Forks than anywhere else, and right now it is important we are together as a family." Jasper grabbed her foot and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"So I guess we head back home." I was hoping that my voice didn't give away my desire to get on the road as soon as possible. Edward looked at me and nodded.

"Nessie I want you to stay here and take a nap. We have some arrangements to make." Doc ushered everyone out of the room.

"Daddy, would you guys mind going to my apartment and packing up my things. I really just want to be done here and go home." Nessie smiled weakly at us and I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

"We'll take care of it Baby. No worries. Get some sleep." She slightly nodded her head and closed her eyes. Once we were in the living room I looked at Edward. _I asked her about her dream and she didn't remember any of it. _Edward's eyes quickly looked at me then I could tell he was trying to put pieces together. _Do you think this I something we should worry about?_ Edward gave me a quick nod and then looked at Bella, pulling her to him and kissing her.

"Well let's go and get Nessie's things moved." Edward motioned to Jasper, Emmett, Seth and me. Edward, Seth and I got into his Volvo, while Jasper and Emmett took the Black Chevy Silverado pick up.

We drove in silence, with Seth fidgeting in the back seat. Suddenly his voice broke the tension that was filling the car. "Okay what aren't you guys telling me?"

Edward and I looked at each other and sighed. He looked at Seth in the rear view mirror and smiled. "We were just trying to figure out what was going on with Nessie's dream earlier. When Jacob asked her about it, she didn't remember what it was about either. It is just a little odd that's all. Everything is fine my friend."

Seth breathed out a sigh and looked out the window. When we pulled in front of Nessie's apartment, I was very glad that we picked up before we left. I think that seeing a messy bed might just push Edward over the edge. As I was walking towards the stairs, Brian came out on the porch. The sky was grey and it was starting to snow; perfect weather for vampires.

"Hey Jacob. You guys getting Vanessa's things?" Brian leaned over the porch railing, looking at each of us. Most people would be intimidated seeing the five of us, but he barely blinked.

"Yeah, we are going to be leaving tonight. I'll drop the key by when we are done." As I was finishing talking I heard a small growl rumble in Edward's chest. I turned and looked at him and his gaze never left Brian.

"Tell Nessie I will call her soon. I plan on making a trip up to Seattle and maybe we can get together." Brian waved and went back inside.

I looked at Edward again and his eyes met mine. _What was that all about?_

Edward leaned in and growled, "He was blocking me."

When we got to the top of the stairs I looked behind me as I opened the door and Jasper was still standing staring at the porch.

"Jaz you coming?" Emmett sounded annoyed, but when Jasper's gaze found us, we all stopped dead in our tracks. He motioned for us to go inside and we did, closing the door behind us.

"What is it?" I had seen Jasper angry quite often, but never like this and the curiosity tested my patience.

"Jacob, how well does Nessie know that man?" He was pacing and the look on his face was indescribable.

"I don't know. I think they are friends, but she hasn't been here long enough to know he too well. What is going on?" I was losing my patience.

Jasper stopped and looked at Edward who's hand started to shake and another growl escaped, this time much louder. "The emotion coming from that man was pure rage. He has a mask in place and there was something that I haven't felt in a long time. I could feel him blocking his true emotions and when I tried to send an extra dose of rage his way, he deflected it back to me." He ran his hand over his face. "Something is not right. There is something more going on here."

Seth looked between all of us, and suddenly became the voice of reason. "Well whatever is going on, let's get Nessie's things and get her away from here." We all jumped into action and had the truck loaded in less than thirty minutes. Seth and I walked the key to Brian's apartment. When he opened the door, there was a woman in the room with him. She appeared to be in her early twenties, black hair pushed flat to the sides of her head by a skull cap. She was wearing a lot of make-up and when she saw me, a small smile played on her lips. There was nothing friendly about it though.

"Here you go Brian. Thanks again." I started to leave and he motioned to the girl.

"This is Vanessa's friend Stacy. They worked together at the Baghdad." He looked back to her and when his eyes settled back on me, the friendliness that was there earlier was gone.

"Tell Nessie I hope we can see each other again soon. I'm gonna miss her." There was something about what I saw in Stacy's eyes that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

I felt Seth grab my arm and pull me towards the door. "I'll give her the message. Bye." I turned towards the door and Brian called after me.

"Hope to see you again Jake."

The last thing I heard as the door closed behind me when we stepped out on the porch was Stacy's laughter and it sent a chill through me that made the winter air seem warm.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30 – Knife in the Back

Renessme's POV

Four months had passed since I moved back home. Much to everyone's relief, my pregnancy seems to be mirroring that of a normal human pregnancy. It was now April and I am starting my fourth month. I was starting to show and my belly had become the favorite resting place for both Jacob and Seth's hands. I am very proud of the way Jake has handled this situation. Only occasionally does a jealous growl escape his lips.

When we moved back, Jake and I moved into my father's old room in the main house. Dad wasn't too happy about the fact that we decided to wait to get married until after the baby was born. Aunt Alice was in charge of the wedding plans and she told him that she needed time for her masterpiece and to get his head out of the turn of the century. While officially I wasn't Mrs. Jacob Black, I sure felt like it.

The garage was taking off and between working there and doing pack duties, Jake was exhausted. Plus add in the fact that almost any spare time he had, he was working with my Dad and Uncles on our home. We had to wait until spring to get started, but it was coming along now. Every day a new wall went into place. The windows were being delivered next week and I was excited that it was really starting to look like a house and not a pile of Lincoln Logs.

Seth and I finished our winter term without a hitch. He drove us back and forth to Seattle, and the bond of friendship we had only strengthened with each day. We would talk about the future and when we did, I often thought about that conversation Seth and I had the day of the car accident. That day he sounded almost resentful for the life he was born into. Now all I heard was optimism. And I knew it was all because of Sophie. Jake and I had decided to name our daughter Sophie.

I woke up this morning with Jake's arms tight around me. He nuzzled into my neck and sighed.

"I don't want to get up. I've got too much to do today." He kissed my neck and I turned in his arms to look at him.

"I tell you what, you go and take my test in Western Civ and I will go and work on Grandpa's cruiser." He kissed my nose and chuckled.

"No thanks Baby." He scooted down the bed and kissed my slightly expanded baby bump. "Sophie, your mommy must not care about passing her courses if she wants daddy to take her test." He looked up at me, gently rubbing my stomach. "Somebody grew overnight it looks like." He but his head on my stomach and, while I had felt flutters from the baby before, this time I felt her move. Jake froze. He quickly lifted his head, eyes wide. "Did she just move?" I nodded my head. He put his hand and his mouth on my stomach. "Can you do that again Sophie? Please for Daddy?" I felt her kick right where his mouth was and he laughed. "Love you Cub."

Much to Aunt Rose's dismay, that was the nick name we had decided upon for the baby. Jake and Seth actually came up with it together and Jake liked to use it as often as possible when Aunt Rose was in the room.

We both got ready for our days. We went downstairs holding hands and found, my mother and father setting in the living room with Seth. He had spent the night because we had stayed up studying for our test. Jake looked at Dad and the silent exchange brought smiles to both of their faces. Jake then turned to Seth.

"Hey guess what?" Seth shrugged his shoulders. "Sophie kicked me in the mouth this morning." Seth's eyes widened and he came and knelt in front of me.

"Way to go Cub. I hope you kicked him hard." He placed his hand on my stomach and right as he did, Sophie started to wiggle. Seth let out a laugh and leaned in closer to me. "Hey baby girl. Calm down. No beating up your mommy." Seth stood and gave me a hug. Jake pulled me close to him and I touched his arm.

_Calm down my love. He is just excited._

Jake nodded his head and kissed me.

"Well we had better get going; I want to go over our notes again when we get there." I waved to my parents, kissed Jake and grabbed Seth's hand, leading him out to the garage. "Love you all. We'll see you when we get back."

"Jake do you want me at the garage or the house when I get back?" Seth always went to one or the other as soon as we came home.

"Meet me at the garage. I've got a full schedule today." Jake then ran to me, pulling me into a deep kiss. He kissed Sophie and looked at Seth. "Take care of my Babies." This had become the standard goodbye to which Seth always smiled and nodded.

It was a beautiful spring day. The sky was blue and everything was turning bright green. I loved the spring. I put my head back and let the sun fall on my face.

"Hey Ness?"

I turned my head, but kept it resting against the seat. "Yeah?"

"What does it feel like when Sophie moves?"

I laughed and tried to explain. "It's like I've got a little ball in there rolling around."

"Is it okay?" Seth reached his hand out.

"Go ahead." I closed my eyes and started soaking up the sun again. As soon as Seth's hand touched my stomach, Sophie started moving again. She obviously was very aware of the men in her life. I must have dosed off, because before I knew it, we were at the college.

Seth and I went into class early and went over our notes. Soon the class started and the test was handed out. I finished early and whispered to Seth I would meet him out in the courtyard. He nodded, concentrating on the question he was answering. I grabbed my bag, turned in my test and went to set on one of the benches so I could enjoy the rare appearance of the sun. I had my eyes closed and my head back when a shadow moved in front of my vision.

"Nessie?"

I opened my eyes and jumped to my feet giggling when I realized it was Stacy.

"What are you doing here?" I gave her a hug which she returned.

"Brian and I came up on vacation and we thought we would check out the campus. We were going to call you to see if you wanted to go out to lunch or something." I couldn't help but smile because we had become friends in my short time in Portland.

I looked around, "Where is Brian?"

"He's over there reading one of those silly information plaques. Come on let's sneak up on him and surprise him." She grabbed my hand and started to pull me toward one of the covered walk ways that lead to the courtyard.

"I just need to keep an eye out for my friend. He will be looking for me." She giggled and nodded her head.

When we got to the middle of the walkway, I saw a van, and Brian was standing next to it, arms folded and smiling. I smiled instinctively, but then I noticed his eyes. They were crimson. Stacy's grip on my arm became like a vice and she turned and blew a powdery substance into my face. Suddenly I felt my muscles lock. I could breathe and blink my eyes, but that was it. Brian walked to me and the dream that I have tried so hard to recall came flooding back to me. As Brian approached, I could hear Seth calling my name, searching for me. Brian picked me up and lay me down in the back of the waiting van. As the doors closed I heard the panic in Seth's voice and Sophie delivered her strongest kick yet. A tear ran down my face.

Stacy was driving and she slowly drove off campus. Through the back windows of the van I saw the familiar sights go by. After about five minutes I was able to move my toes. As the effects of whatever Stacy blew in my face wore off, I turned to Brian who was setting beside me.

"Why?" That was the only thing I could think of to say to him.

He smiled and his red eyes gleamed. "You see Renessme," he emphasized the fact that he knew my real name; "your Auntie Alice isn't the only one who can see into future. About three years ago, as my ability was become known to me, I was approached by a nice man named Felix. He told me his employer would reward me handsomely if I focused on this little girl." He pulled out a picture of me when I was about four. I was being held by my father. "Well I did, and I suddenly saw you, and that thing inside you. My new friend Felix was in pieces and so were who I assumed to be his employers. But what got me to work with them so enthusiastically was I was there too.

So they paired me up with Stacy, who happens to be, do you prefer Witch or Sorceress?"

Stacy laughed, "Sorceress sounds better."

"Well then, Stacy is of the Sorceress persuasion. She was able to block your family's abilities and helped me find a way inside your head. I back tracked your future to find where we would meet up. Your future seems to be subjective up to a certain point, but that things, well where she ends up if I didn't intercede is iron clad."

"So you planned everything. What so you could be immortal?" I felt my stomach turn.

"Not all of us are as lucky as you sweetie. You were born into royalty. Others of us claw our way up kicking and screaming." He face got hard and I saw hatred in his eyes.

We didn't speak for the rest of the ride. I knew that there was no way that I could get away from him. I had no idea what Stacy was capable of and Brian obviously could see any move I was going to make. The van pulled into a large building. Brian opened the door and reached for my hand to help me out. I refused to take it and gingerly stepped out of the van, covering my stomach with one arm.

We were in an airplane hangar. I looked around and standing in front of me were faces I vaguely recognized from our encounter in a field so many years before.

"Don't fear Renessme. We mean you no harm. We have known your family for years. All we want to make sure of is that your child will not be a threat to our way of life. You will just need to stay with us for a while." The figure in the black hooded cloak drifted towards me. When he reached me, he removed his hood and smiled.

"Aro" was all I could say as the recognition hit me.

He clapped his hand together, "You remember me. How delightful." Aro's vision focused on Brian. "Go ahead. We have no more use for her." I tensed for a moment, thinking he was talking about me. But then I watched in horror as Brian leap on Stacy. Before she could react, he had drained her completely of her blood and left her in a lifeless heap on the floor. I was surrounded and ushered into the waiting private plane. I had no choice but to go. There was a single seat next to one of the windows. I sat down and started to cry, but then I remembered it wasn't just me. Sophie stirred inside me and I tried to pass comforting thoughts to her.

_It's alright Sophie. Mommy's here. It will all be alright Cub._ I didn't really believe it for a minute, but that was my worry to bare, not hers.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31 – Sucker Punched.

Jacob's POV

"Take care of my babies." I had called that same goodbye to Seth ever since we got back. I smiled, thankful as I watched them pull away from the house. I felt Bella's arm around me and she pulled me into a hug.

"You look happy my friend." I laughed and pulled the hug tighter. When we pulled away from each other, Edward was looking at me smiling.

"Thanks for giving me the heads up for Seth's reaction. That was priceless." Edward slapped me on the back and smiled. "I know this is not easy for you, and although I hate to admit it, you are handling it much better than I did."

I shook my head and opened the door. Esme stuck her head out of the kitchen to stop me. "Jacob, come back for lunch will you? I'm making something special. Bring the rest of the boys too." I nodded my head and took off running towards the garage. Edward was soon at my side, and when I passed the construction site of our house he waved and broke off, stopping to get to work. Emmett and Jasper were already slaving away and Blondie glared at me as I passed. I reached the garage and Charlie was waiting for me. Quil, Embry and Jared were all talking with him.

"Morning Jake. How's Nessie doing?" We hadn't told Charlie about Nessie being pregnant yet. We had been able to keep our mouths shut so far. Since Nessie is starting to show now, we have been keeping them apart, using the excuse that she has been busy with school as to why he hasn't seen her. The last thing I needed right now was Charlie freaking out on me because he was going to be a Great Grandpa.

"She's good Charlie. She and Seth have a big test today. You just want basic tune up on the cruiser right?" Change the subject Jake, change the subject.

"Yeah, Embry is going to be driving me back so I can bring in the back up while my deputy patrols. You think you will be done with this one when we get back? The backup cruiser has been acting off; needs to be gone over with a fine tooth comb."

"No problem Charlie. This one will be ready to go. Don't want to risk you missing out on any action." We all laughed at the thought of any real action in Forks. Well any action that Charlie would have to deal with.

Embry and Charlie took one of the spare vehicles we had at the garage for such an occasion, and Quil, Jared and I got to work on the cruiser. I realized while I was elbows deep in oil, that I had left my cell phone at home. I would pick it up at lunch. I passed on the events of the morning and they were all so happy about Sophie moving around and they laughed at Seth's reaction.

"Poor guys got it bad already." Quil sympathized, shaking his head.

Charlie came and dropped off the other cruiser and left with the freshly tuned up vehicle. My stomach growled and I remembered Esme's request.

"Hey guys lets close it up. We've been invited for lunch at the main house. Esme's cooking." The guys quickly locked everything up and we ran by the construction site to get to the house. It was empty, but they had made a lot of progress. When we got to the house, the family was in the dining room, and there was a whole spread of food on the table. Roast beef sandwiches, potato salad, olives, pickles, chips and a huge chocolate cake.

"What is all this for?" Embry asked, smiling at Esme.

"I had some food that was going to spoil, so I figured I might as well use it." She gave us each a hug and then settled in next to Doc. I heard my cell phone ring, even though it was in my bedroom.

"Will you please go and answer that dog? It has been going off for the past twenty minutes." Blondie looked irritated and Quil offered to go get it since he said he had to use the facilities anyway. We sat down to eat. Just as Quil got to the bottom of the stairs, cell phone in hand, we all watch in horror as Alice fell to the floor and started having what appeared to be a seizure. At the same time, Edward grabbed the sides of his head and let out a gut wrenching scream.

We all ran to their sides and Edward recovered more quickly than Alice. Her eyes were fixed on the ceiling and her face was blank. She wasn't responding to Jasper's panicked voice.

"What is it?" Bella was running her hand along Edward's face.

He shook his head and looked at me. Just then my phone rang again and I looked at the read out. It was Nessie's number.

"Baby, you okay?" My eyes never left Edward. He quickly grabbed the phone from me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Seth, come home. There is nothing you could have done. She's gone. Get back here as soon as you can and we will go from there." Edward closed the phone and all of our eyes settled on him.

He knelt down next to Alice and she was starting to recover slowly. She looked at him and gently shook her head. Jasper picked her up in his arms and carried her into the living room all of us following.

"What is going? What did you mean by she's gone?" I looked at Edward and my pack that was there; they had moved in behind me.

"Since that day we moved Nessie out of her apartment in Portland, I asked Alice to try to keep eye on Brian and Stacy. She hadn't been able to locate anything on them. Just now, it was like a dam broke loose. All the information she had tried to obtain since that day on both of them hit us in one big wave. Stacy was a witch. She had put a protection spell on herself and Brian to block us. He is a precog like Alice, but he can see Nessie. He was contacted by Felix to watch for her in exchange for immortality. He lured her into a trap of trust, and then waited patiently for the time to strike. Apparently, Brian saw that Sophie posed a threat to Aro and the rest of them. Today they struck. Nessie finished her test early and went to set in the sunshine on a bench outside her classroom. Stacy approached her, because Brian couldn't; he has already been changed. She lured her to a covered walkway and paralyzed her with a powder of some kind. They loaded her into a van and she is now on a plane with Aro and the rest on the way to Italy." Edward's face was hard, but his voice masked his emotions. The rest of the family was not quite as calm.

Jasper tried to remedy that, and it only helped slightly. He still had Alice held tight in his arms and tried to speak as calmly as possible. "Why did it all come at her like that?" He looked at Edward who looked towards his sister with so much sympathy. He knew that the information that cause him so much pain had been filtered through her and it was worse for her.

"Brian killed Stacy. Fed off her. She had outlived her usefulness."

I was shaking. But I was still clinging to a sense of disbelief. "How Edward? Why? I thought they had learned their lesson the last time."

Doc crossed to me, trying to calm me. It wasn't working. "They did learn their lesson. This time the acted without asking." Just then his cell phone rang. He put it on speaker.

"Hello."

There was a small laugh and a pause before the bastard spoke. "Carlisle my friend. How are you?"

"Aro, you have my granddaughter, how do you think I am?" There was an edge to Doc's voice I had never heard before. Sometime during the start of the conversation, I realized that I had fallen to my knees, Bella and Edward on either side of me.

"Renessme poses a threat to us at the moment. Or should I say her and the shape shifter's child poses a threat. She will be staying with us for observation until the child is born. At that time we will be able to determine what action will need to be taken in regards to the child, and Renessme will be able to come home." He had such contempt in his voice. My shaking increased and I heard Embry whisper in my ea r.

"You have to try to stay calm man. You can't phase now." I nodded my head and took a deep breath.

"I would like to talk to my daughter Aro." Edward's voice was like ice water.

"Edward, I take it the whole family is there. Of course you can talk to your daughter. I assure you she has not been harmed." There was a sound to the phone being passed and then a sigh.

"Daddy?" The sound of Nessie's voice brought tears to my eyes that I couldn't contain.

"Renessme, are you okay? Have they harmed you?" Bella was speaking, and the sadness in her voice added salt to my wounds.

"I'm fine. Sophie's fine. Jake are you there?" She was starting to cry.

"I'm here baby. I love you." I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible.

"Please don't be mad at Seth. I left him, it wasn't his fault. I heard him calling for me, but I couldn't talk." She was crying harder and my heart was cracking. "I want to come home."

"I know baby. I love you and Sophie so much. We will figure this all out. Please be safe." My voice cracked at the end.

The phone was taken away from her then and Aro's voice was back on the line.

"No worries my friends. She will be fine and we will give you updates often. We are only doing what needs to be done to keep our way of life safe. I know you understand." Then the phone disconnected.

There was silence for a moment and then complete chaos. Everyone had their phones out, calls being made to all of our allies from the field so many years ago. The pack and I just sat there watching, knowing there was nothing we could do. My mind went to Seth. He must be completely panicked. I knew this wasn't his fault, and he would be beating himself up enough for both of us. His whole world just got taken with mine.

Edward and Bella came and knelt in front of me.

"Carlisle, Edward, Alice and I are going to Italy. Tonya and Eleazar are meeting us there as well as Kate and Garrett. We are still trying to get a hold of Siobhan and Zafrina. Stefan and Vladimir are a little harder to get in contact with, but we think we can. The next question is, do you want to come with us? They would probably not let you come into the compound, and we will not be able to protect you." Bella had her hand on my shoulder.

"It is my feeling that it would be better if you stay here this time. As well as I know the Volturi, they will not be letting Renessme go at this time. We will have to do some negotiating and get them to see the danger to themselves if they do not cooperate. Your being there will only put extra stress on Nessie and Sophie. I think you should stay behind this time, but we will send for you as negotiations proceed." Carlisle was calm and as much as I wanted to go, I knew what he was saying was true. It still didn't stop me from feeling like a coward.

"Don't even think that for a minute Jake. You are doing what is best for Nessie, Sophie and the rest of us. We would be distracted trying to protect you and when we call for you, we will want you all to come." He looked at the pack and Alice came to stand behind him. She still wasn't her normal self, but she was smiling none the less.

"You need to wait Jacob. You will have your time. With as muddled as Aro's future just became, I have a feeling we will be able to have some fun." She leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Have faith my friend. I have not put all this time in on the wedding for nothing." She ran back to Jasper and he embraced her, the love for her flowing from his eyes.

I looked down and nodded my head in agreement. I would have been an easy target without the rest of my pack.

Edward looked at Bella and placed his hand on her cheek. "You are going to be getting quite a work out my love."

Bella was the best defense our side had. "You know me, I love a challenge." He kissed her and they retreated to their cottage to pack.

Seth arrived just as the others were leaving. We filled him in on everything and by the end of the story, Quil and Embry had to carry him to the couch. I sat beside him and he put his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry Jake. I let you down again. I sorry." He was crying and I motioned for the rest of the pack to leave us alone.

"You couldn't have prevented this Seth. If this had gone down any differently, we probably would be planning your funeral on top of everything else. Now we just have to trust that we will get our girls back, because we will get them back." He nodded in silence. After he calmed down I called for my pack to return.

"Get everyone together in field. Tell Sam I need to speak to him too and Leah. We've got a fight to prepare for."

I wanted to fall apart, but there was no time. We were out of practice and either we all came back from this, or none of us did.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32 – Counting Flowers on the Wall

Renessme's POV

I wasn't sure how long it had been since I was taken. I tried to count the way the sun changed through the window in my "room". I was in a stone turret. The only light coming in was from a window high up on the wall. It rained a few times and water poured down the walls. The bed was uncomfortable, there was a form of a toilet behind a screen on one end of the room and only twice had I been allowed out to shower. To the best of my knowledge I had been in this place for two weeks. I had had no other contact with my family, and the only person that came to talk to me was Brian. And that was a completely one sided conversation. He tried to explain his side of why he had betrayed me, but all of his words fell on deaf ears.

I was hungry. The only food had been a human every couple of days, which of course I refused, and a bowl of oatmeal every morning. Sophie kept moving and making her presence more and more known. Every time someone would approach outside in the hall, she would go completely still. As soon as they would leave, she would kick and I could feel her turn. At times it was painful and I tried to calm her as best I could.

Finally one day, Brian appeared at my door and threw in a clean set of clothing for me. "Get dressed. You have company. Be on your best behavior, and no funny business." He shut the door behind him and I quickly changed. I had been given a brush and a wash basin, so I cleaned myself as best I could. Suddenly the door flew open and Aro entered extending his hand to me. I refused to take it and kept my hand protectively on Sophie.

"Well Renessme, your family has decided to pay you a visit. You must be so excited to see them." Aro's voice brought with it a swift kick from Sophie and me instantly losing the oatmeal I had consumed that morning. "I see you still have all the disgusting qualities of humans intact." Brian grabbed my arm and pulled me along as I tried to hold myself together. As we got closer I knew my father could hear me.

_Daddy, I love you. I want to go home. But be careful please. I love you._

I was trying to not sound panicked, but I didn't think I was doing a very good job of it. I was lead into a large round room. There were three thrones against one of the walls and Aro crossed to his chair and sat. I was then lead to the middle of the room, where a large drain seemed an ominous sign in the middle of the floor. "Sit down." Brian's voice held none of the warmth or compassion his human version showed. He pushed me down roughly and I winced as my knee hit the stone floor.

"Bring them in." Aro called from his throne. They were surrounded by their guard and their wives, just as I had remembered them from that day in the field.

I lifted my head as the door in the back of the room opened. First in the room was my Grandfather. He was followed by Tonya and Eleazar. My parents were the next into the room followed by Aunt Alice, Garrett, Zafrina and Stefan and Vladamir. They all stood in a line and my family looked down on me smiling.

_I'm fine. Daddy I've missed you guys. Is Jake okay? _Sophie gave me a swift kick. _And Seth?_

Daddy gave me a gentle nod and all eyes focused once again on the three vampires in their thrones.

"Carlisle my friend, it is so good to see you. I wish that it wouldn't take a crisis for you to visit us." Aro's voice once again made my stomach lurch, but I was able to keep everything under control this time.

"Might I suggest Aro that I would come and see you more often if you would quit threatening my family. What you have done, taking Renessme like this, it is completely unwarranted and unacceptable." I had never heard this tone in my Grandfather's voice before. It was so stern. Even when I was disciplined as a child, he never even come close to speaking like this.

"We are only preserving our way of life Carlisle. We have very reliable information that the child Renessme is carrying is a threat to all of us. We are only taking all the necessary precautions. I can't imagine that you would do anything less to protect your family. It is just that a member of your family is a potential danger to mine." Aro's words came out smoothly, almost lyrical. He was trying to make the others in the room see his point of view.

My father let out a growl and I saw the guards around the Three stiffen. "Our family has never hurt any of you. We have only wanted to live our lives in peace. This is the second time Aro that you have threatened my daughter. I can see that you believe what this person has told you, but I can see what he sees. His visions are muddled. They are constantly changing even more than Alice's. One second, Sophie is a danger, the next she is a savior. Why is it that you only believe the negative?" My father tilted his head slightly and then smiled. "Why are you so threatened by us Aro? We do not want your job, we do not crave the power you have. My family only wishes to live a quiet life."

This brought a laugh from Caius and he grabbed Aro's hand. Again my father growled and my mother put her hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"I'm sorry, Caius and I are being rude. We were just wondering how quiet of a life you truly want? I mean letting your daughter mate with a shape shifter, that can promote some very interesting family reunions."

I turned my head to glare at Aro, and as I did, my head started to swim. I could feel myself fall back on the stone floor before I could do anything about it. I suddenly had no control over my body and then I heard my father take a sharp intake of breath.

"Sophie?" He was obviously hearing something that none of the rest of us could. I couldn't move, I felt Sophie move inside me, but it was calm fluid movements. "Can I move closer to my daughter please? The baby wishes to speak to me."

"You can stay there. Obviously we can hear her from there. We just ask that you give us both sides of the conversation." Caius' voice was like fingernails on a chalk board.

My father laughed. "Well Sophie isn't too fond of the fact that she is hungry and that her mother is cold." There was a pause. "She is asking where Daddy and Seth are. Sophie they are at home. It wasn't safe for them to be here." All I could see was the ceiling, so I couldn't see anyone's reaction to the fact that my child was able to communicate with my father.

"Can she tell you what she is? What can she do?" Aro's interest was beyond peaked.

"She says she is Sophie and if you want to see what she can do, Daddy, Seth, Uncle Emmett, Great Grandma, Aunt Rose and Uncle Jasper need to come. Wait, Quil, Embry, Paul and Jared too. She says she will not hurt you. There is only one in this room that needs to worry. She is giving her Mother back control again."

I felt my body start to twitch and I sat up suddenly. I looked to my father and mother. They both looked worried.

"Very well. Bring the people that the child wishes to be here. We will also gather witnesses. We will meet in the open field outside Mazzolla, two months from today. For the time being, Renessme and Sophie will stay with us." Aro, statement seemed concrete. I knew that the next two months would be lonely and that Sophie and I would be counting the minutes until we could be with Jake and Seth. I was also filled with a new fear, not of my child, but for my child. It was obvious now more than ever that Sophie was special.

"You must feed her Aro. Human food. The baby and Renessme need it to survive. She needs to be someplace dry and warm. The conditions you have her in now are no better than a prison. Is she your prisoner or your guest?" My father's voice was just as concrete in return.

"Of course, we will upgrade her quarters immediately. Now if you will excuse us, we have a tour coming momentarily and I am sure you would all like to be gone before they arrive. We will see you two months from today my friends. We will be in touch with further details Carlisle." Aro, motioned towards the door my family and friends had arrived through.

_Daddy give everyone my love. Tell Jake and Seth not to worry we will be fine and we will see them soon. I love you._

Brian had a hold of my arm and I looked back over my shoulder as the door closed, giving me one last vision of my parents and Aunt Alice's smiling faces. They were being brave and I returned the gesture. Brian deposited me back in my room, shutting the door behind him. I rubbed my stomach.

"Hey Cub, give me a warning before you take over next time. I hit my head." I felt Sophie do a roll and then she became still. I was suddenly very tired and I lay down. As my eyes closed the only thing I could see was Jacob.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33 – The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Jacob's POV

The rest of the family left two weeks ago. My pack and the remaining Cullens and I have spent our time training and working on the house. The Pack kept things caught up at the garage, and I spent as much time pacing as I did anything else. Bella called every other day to keep us up to date. They never had much news, and the not knowing how Nessie and Sophie were doing was killing me.

We got news yesterday that they were finally going to see Nessie. The Volturi had agreed to a meeting. Now once again I paced and waited. Seth and I were dead on our feet. There had been no word as to what they had found out. I was getting impatient and Blondie wasn't helping things out at all.

"Can't we put the dogs outside? They are giving me whiplash with all the pacing." She was painting her nails and seems too calm.

"At least we are showing some concern. Make sure you don't break a nail Barbie." I couldn't hold it in anymore. It had been two weeks of snide remarks and accusations.

"Listen to me mongrel, it is your fault we are in this situation in the first place. If you would have just been able to control yourself when you went into heat, Nessie would be home with us right now." We all watched in horror as Seth launched himself at her. He phased in midair and landed on top of her chest, causing the red fingernail polish to splatter against the white couch and floor. Before he could even get his feet under himself, Seth was flying across the room, hitting one of the walls and sliding down to the floor. I ran to him and Emmett ran to Rosalie. "Control your pet." Rosalie was brushing herself off and glared in our direction. Seth had phased back to human form and it was clear that his shoulder was either broken or dislocated. Esme quickly entered with new clothes and we helped Seth quickly dress.

"Rosalie, shut up." We all stood in shock as Emmett's voice echoed through the room. "You've been running your mouth, and I'm done listening to you giving Jacob and Seth anymore grief. How would you feel if I was in Nessie's position? Well I know how I would feel, so give them a break." There was a moment where the room got very quiet, and we all couldn't believe what we had just witnessed. Blondie pushed Emmett, but he didn't budge and inch and then she ran up the stairs.

Jasper was making his way over to help me set Seth's shoulder when he suddenly stood and looked out the glass doors to the driveway. "Alice." He ran out the door just as the sound of the tires on the gravel was heard. We all made our way outside and I was instantly excited by the fact that Nessie might be in the car. The Black Explorer stopped and Carlisle, Alice, Edward and Bella exited. My heart sank when I realized the car was empty.

Carlisle's eyes focused on Seth, "What happened? Seth come with me, let's get you fixed up."

Seth looked hard at Doc and refused to move. "Where are Nessie and Sophie?" Doc sighed and looked at Edward.

"Seth, let Carlisle fix you first and I will tell you everything, but it is a long story and you don't want your shoulder to heal improperly. They are fine though, I will tell you that much. Now let's go." Doc and Edward guided Seth up to Doc's office as the rest of us settled into the living room.

I crossed to Bella and she pulled me into a hug. "Jake, I'm sorry we couldn't bring her back, but so much happened yesterday. Edward will be able to tell you everything. Apparently there are pieces that I don't even know yet. He wouldn't tell me because Sophie told him to wait until you and the rest of the Pack was here. You need to get Quil, Embry, Paul and Jared here as quickly as possible so we can fill everyone in at once."

I pulled back from her, shocked by what she had just said. "Wait, Sophie told Edward?" She nodded and then handed me my cell phone. I took a deep breath, calling Quil telling him to get the other three and come to the main house.

Seth, Doc and Edward were coming downstairs from the office just as my requested Pack members were arriving. Everyone took a seat except for Edward and me. I went to stand behind Seth who was sandwiched between Bella and Alice. For some reason, I took that as not a good sign.

"I'll just get those who weren't in Italy up to speed and then I will let everyone know what you need to know. When we arrived in Italy, it took a while for our witnesses to arrive as well. It wasn't until the day before yesterday that Vladamir and Stefan arrived. Carlisle contacted Aro and requested a meeting and for us to see Renessme. We brought our witnesses and were lead to the chamber where they do their feeding. I could hear Nessie's thoughts before we even got inside. I could see where they were keeping her, and that she was hungry and cold." I heard a growl rumble in both Seth and my chests. "She was trying to reassure me that she and Sophie were fine. She asked about both Jacob and Seth. We tried to reason with Aro, but I could see what Brian had told them. In his vision, the whole Volturi was nothing but smoking piles of ash. But I also saw from Brian's vision that there was another vision he saw. One where he was being torn apart and there was amusement on Aro's face. I tried to convince them that there were many options of what the future held, but it did no good towards them changing their minds." Edward looked at Bella and Carlisle and nodded then focused his eyes on Seth and me.

"Jacob, you might want to set down for this next part." Bella slid closer to Seth and I took a seat next to her. She took a hold of my hand and I looked at her. A small smile turned up the corners of her mouth.

"I am right here Jake." Her calm tone seemed to only be making matters worse. I looked back at Edward and he took an unnecessary breath to calm himself.

"Suddenly while everyone was talking, Nessie fell to the floor, it appeared she had passed out, but as she was falling, I heard an unfamiliar voice. She told me it was Sophie and that, to quote her, 'Mommy will be fine, I just need to borrow her strength for a minute.' She then started to show me things, images of the whole family and finally finished with images of Jacob and Seth. She had seen all of us through Nessie unknowingly passing our images on to her with her gift. I asked if I could get closer, basically so I could check on Nessie, but Caius refused. Sophie then told me to ask them for food and to be put somewhere warm. She told me not to worry that she would protect Nessie." Edward sighed and looked at Bella and gave her a slight smile. Bella squeezed my hand and looked at me, trying again to calm me.

"The rest of this, even those that were in the room don't know. Aro asked what Sophie was and what she could do. Sophie told me to tell them her name and then showed me images of everyone in this room and said that she would only show them if we all came together. She would only show them if we all were there. She then showed me an image of Brian being burnt from the inside out, and told me to tell them only one needed to worry. This is what she wanted me to tell you when we were away from there and all together. She said, 'I am the best parts of all that love me. I share parts of all of your powers, but mainly I can control the physical actions of those around me. When we all meet, I will demonstrate what I can do on the man that betrayed my mother and caused us to be away from Daddy and Seth. Do not worry. I will take care of Mommy. She will be safe. I am not human, vampire or shape shifter, but a combination of all three. I am immortal, but I will grow at a normal rate, stopping when I want to. Once I am born, I will forget this time. I will not regain these memories until I stop aging. So you will all need to help me learn how to use my ability.' Then she let Nessie have her body back. It was determined that in two months we will all meet in Italy in a field in Mazzollla. I know that is a long time for you to wait, but Aro wouldn't waver, I knew that and it gives Nessie and Sophie time to gain strength. And it gives us time to train for a worst case scenario."

I let go of Bella's hand and raked it over my face. The room was quiet and as usual, it was Emmett that broke the tension.

"Well congratulations Jake. Leave it up to you and Nessie to outdo Edward and Bella. I didn't think it was possible." His booming laugh at first seemed out of place, but then others in the room started to join him; most surprisingly Edward.

Edward crossed to me and sat on the coffee table in front of me. "I know this is scary Jake. But you need to look at the good things in this. Right now, we need Sophie to be all she is. I could see not only Alice's visions of the future, but Brian's as well. When Sophie finished speaking, I could see through him, peace, and all of us together." He reached over and grabbed Bella's hand. "Plus you and Nessie will get time to enjoy Sophie as an infant and you will get to spend a full childhood with her." He laughed slightly and looked at Seth, "Sorry my friend looks like you aren't going to get the accelerated version Jake did."

Seth tried to smile, but a tear rolled down his cheek. "Will you excuse me please?" He stood and crossed the room, walking outside. I quickly followed him.

Seth stopped at the edge of the creek, reaching down and grabbing a rock. He skipped it over the water and then suddenly fell to his knees. I sat beside him, waiting for him to speak first.

He looked at me with tears freely falling from his eyes. "How can they be making jokes? Nessie and Sophie are still with those monsters. They could be doing God know what to them." He looked back over to the opposite bank of the creek.

I put my hand on his shoulder, "I know Seth, I feel the same way. What we need to understand though is they have been dealing with all this crap a lot longer than us. Now is not the time to be scared, although I am, more than I can say. We have to prepare for whatever could happen when we are all together. We have to trust each other and trust Nessie and Sophie. I would love nothing more than to get on a plane and rip each one of them to pieces, but I would be walking into a death sentence. You know that right?" Seth looked to the ground and nodded. "And the last thing that Nessie and Sophie need is for something to happen to us. We need to spend these next two months getting ready. I want us to be able to handle whatever they throw at us. And then when we get our girls home, we need to prepare for how to help Sophie control what she can do. I think it will take all of us working together." I was coming apart inside, but I needed to hold it together for Seth. I guess you could say I was having a "What Would Edward Do" moment.

Seth nodded and we stood and returned to the house where everyone was busy making battle and travel plans. Jasper was on the phone obtaining passports for the Pack. The farthest any of us had been from the Reservation was Portland. It was decided we would charter a private flight. Reservations were made and then after all the travel plans were done, we set about making a training schedule. Then there was a schedule made for finishing the house.

I wanted a home to be waiting for my girls when they came home.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34 – Sitting Waiting, Wishing

Renessme's POV

After my family's visit, I was moved to a very comfortable room. I had a constant fire in the large stone fireplace on the wall opposite my four poster bed. There were plenty of blankets and I was given three meals a day. I had my own bathroom and I was able to take a bath whenever I wished. There were walls of books, and since I was confined to my room 24-7, that was how I occupied my time.

I kept track of the days by keeping a journal that was provided for me. On the evening of my twenty-eighth day in this room, I finally had a visitor. There was a knock on my door and before I could answer, Brian entered. He was smiling and except for his eyes, he seemed like my friend from Portland. But as soon as he entered the room, Sophie started kicking violently, trying to get my attention. I put my hand on my stomach, which has grown rapidly over the last few weeks, and sent her calming thoughts.

"How are you feeling this evening Nessie?" Brian smiled and casually sat down in one of the chairs by the fire. This was the first time anyone had spoken to me since I had been in this room. People would come and bring me my food, stoke the fire, bring me fresh clothes and linens, but they never spoke to me. I spent a lot of my time talking to myself and Sophie, but it still took me a second to realize that words needed to come out of my mouth.

"I am as well as can be expected Brian. Sophie and I want to go home. We miss our family." I crossed as far from him as I could. I wanted as much space as possible. When I turned he was standing directly behind me. He smiled down at me and Sophie kicked me so hard that I almost doubled over.

"This will be over soon Nessie. I wanted to talk to you, and hopefully you will be able to understand my position better." He took my arm and led me back to the chairs by the fire. Reluctantly I sat down opposite him. I looked at the fire as he spoke. Sophie had a very negative reaction anytime my eyes focused on him.

"They would have found you and brought you here whether I helped them or not. At least this way you were transported without anyone getting hurt. I planned it so that your friend wasn't involved. He very easily could have been killed. You know that right? I could have taken him out if I wanted to."

I closed my eyes and saw Seth's face; the memory replaying of him frantically looking for me in the courtyard at the college. Suddenly I felt my body go stiff. I was able to focus my eyes on Brian and I watched as he was picked up out of his chair and thrown across the room. He crashed into the stone wall, breaking a small table as he slid to the floor. Once he was on the floor, I had control over my body again. I put my hand on Sophie, trying to convey to her that she needed to behave. We were at a disadvantage here. I had no way of keeping her or myself safe.

Brian was back on his feet and there was a mixture of fear and anger covering his face. He walked back to the door exiting my room. He turned to me before leaving.

"There are only two ways I see this playing out Renessme. One good for you and your, well whatever it is, and one that is good for me. Odds are in my favor, I hope you realize that. I hope you enjoy your solitude. This is the last visit you will be receiving." He left, slamming the door behind him.

Sophie instantly calmed when he left and I lay on the bed and cried myself to sleep. When I woke up, there was breakfast waiting and I wrote in my journal as I ate. I had started to tolerate human food; in fact I was craving it more and more.

"You know what Sophie, your Daddy and Seth are going to be very happy if you only eat human food. That means they won't get bit as much." I felt her hand run gently along the inside of me. When it was just the two of us, Sophie was very gentle. She would turn and stretch, but it wasn't painful. I wished that she would communicate with me somehow. I would try to send her images of our loved ones, and I wasn't sure whether she got them or not. I knew she heard me though. Anytime I mention Jacob or Seth she would get very excited.

So that was how my days continued. I wrote, ate, slept, read and talked to Sophie. I told her stories that Billy had told me when I was a child. I told her about all of her Aunts and Uncles. I explained Baseball to her and how much fun it will be to watch with Great Grandpa Charlie. Every day she got stronger and bigger. Before I knew it, I was writing my sixtieth entry into my journal. One way of another this ordeal was ending today.

I was brought a new dress and when I looked at myself in the mirror I couldn't help but be amazed.

"Sophie, your Daddy is going to be so surprised when he sees us. We are huge." I pulled the dress tight around my stomach and turned sideways. It was a very loose fitting purple dress, nothing special. I wanted to make myself look as good as possible to try to calm some of the hostility I knew would be coming from my family's side of the line. I brushed my hair and pulled the sides up, securing them with a barrette that I had found in my room. I slipped my feet into black ballet slippers and sat on the bed, waiting to be escorted to where we were meeting.

There was a knock on the door and Aro, Brian and Felix entered. Aro smiled and clapped his hands together.

"Renessme, you look lovely. Sophie has grown so much. Are you ready to see your family?" Oh now he was the friendly host. I nodded and followed him out the door. I was taken down a long hallway and onto an elevator. We then made our way down one more hallway to a door that opened to the outside world. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the first breath of fresh air I had in almost three month washed over me. It was twilight, the sun was still turning the sky a golden yellow on the horizon, but there were no rays reaching us. Aro got into one of the six waiting SUV's. I got into another. My traveling partners were Brian, Felix, Jane and Alec.

We drove in silence as the sky turned black, but the moon was full and the stars were scattered across the heavens. It reminded me of the skies on the bonfire nights on First Beach. I was suddenly homesick and terrified that I would never see them again and that Sophie would never be able to go home. I closed my eyes and took a ragged breath. My companions didn't say anything, but all wore condescending smirks.

After about an hour of driving, the car stopped. We all exited our vehicles and standing about three hundred yards away in the distance was a large group of people. As we walked closer, I realized I didn't recognize any of them. When we got to the crowd of what was probably eighty people, Aro started greeting everyone. Marcus and Caius looked unfazed and followed their brother through the crowd of red eyed vampires, and they were followed by the rest of the people that occupied what had been my home for the past two and a half months. Felix and Brian had a hold on each of my arms and they practically carried me to the front of the crowd. When we got there, I had a moment of déjà vu. It was like the memories I had of that day in the field as a child. But I was on the wrong side. I looked and saw our family and friends, standing in a line. Vampires and shape shifters. My parents, Sophie's Sand colored wolf and my russet colored wolf in the center and my Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles standing on either side. The rest of the pack was close behind Jacob and Seth and our allies from that battle so many years ago, as well as some new faces, filling in the gaps.

Aro took my hand and led me to the space that separated the two sides. My father and Grandfather joined us.

_Daddy, we're fine. I don't know what she is going to do. I'm scared._

My father looked at me and smiled. He was calm and I had to believe that we would all be okay.

"Edward, Carlisle, it is so nice to see you. I have to say it is quite an interesting crew you have assembled. The shape shifters are simply fascinating. Don't you think so Felix?" Jane, Felix and Alec had come to stand behind Aro and me.

"I'm just wondering how they would taste." Felix laughed and my father and grandfather growled. Sophie kicked and it was so painful that I fell to my knees. I heard Jake howl and I knew he would be having a hard time staying on the line.

"I'm fine Jake. Sophie is just stronger than she used to be." I yelled to him and lifted my head and brought my eyes to his. He had his head down and shifted his weight from side to side. My mom was running her fingers through the hair on his neck trying to calm him.

"Well I guess we are all here, just as requested. Now we must wait for Sophie to make herself known." Aro looked at me as I returned to standing. I felt all eyes on me and I became self-conscious.

_What if she doesn't do anything?_

I had just sent that thought to my father when Sophie once again gave me a sharp kick. I gasped and fell into my father's arms. He leaned forward as he lowered me to the ground and whispered in my ear, "She wants me to tell you she is sorry, but she needs to use you again. We are right here Nessie don't be scared."

My body went rigid and Dad gently placed me on the ground and kissed me on the forehead. My vision started to darken and I heard my father once again whisper, "See you when this is all done sweetheart. Don't worry, we will all be fine."

The last thing I heard was a howl as my vision went black and I lost all of my other senses at once.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35 – Unfinished Business

Jacob's POV

The next two months were spent staying as busy as possible. Between work, training and finishing the house, we only had time to sleep when the days were done. Not that I enjoyed that much. My dreams were filled with visions of Nessie, cold and scared. She would be searching, calling my name and I could never get to her. I would wake in the morning and it felt like I hadn't even slept at all.

We had decided that we would leave a week early and stay in the town of Siena. It was a distance from where Nessie was being kept, but that distance was a good thing for the time being. It would give us a chance to meet up with the rest of our group and get organized.

The night before we were to leave, the final touches were put on the house. I did a walk through with Alice and Bella, making sure everything was perfect so that when Nessie came home it would be our home she got to settle into. The main living area was open with lots of windows overlooking the creek. There was a large stone fireplace in the middle of the room that was open on both sides. Esme and I designed the house to be a combination of all the things we loved about the main house and the cottage combined. When we started up the stairs to check on the bedrooms, I heard a noise and cautiously went down the hall towards Sophie's room. When I got there, I motioned for Alice and Bella to stay back. Standing there, holding a small wolf stuffed animal was Seth. He was looking around the room, lost in thought.

I crossed back to Bella and Alice, "I'll meet you guys back at the main house. I need a minute with Seth." They both smiled and quickly left. I walked into the room and at first he didn't notice me. When he finally became aware of my presence he looked embarrassed.

"Sorry Jake, I didn't know anyone else was here. I guess I should have asked if I could come up here." Seth turned and put the stuffed animal back in Sophie's crib. The room was decorated in pink, yellow and white. Bella, Alice and Blondie had spent three days shopping to get it set up. On the dresser was a copy of the picture the Seth had given Nessie on her birthday of the three of us on First Beach. That seemed like such a long time ago and it hadn't even been a year yet.

I walked to Seth and put my hand on his shoulder. "It's alright. I know from experience that you will be spending as much time in this room as any of the rest of us, if not more." I had wanted to wait until after we were back from Italy to give Seth a surprise I had planned, but I knew that Nessie would agree and now seemed like the perfect time. The kid needed something to make him feel better. "Seth, would you follow me? I want to show you something." I walked down the hall, past Nessie and my bedroom, which was next to Sophie's. At the end of the hall was a staircase that led to the attic. No one knew about this project except for Esme, Edward, Bella and me.

I opened the door and we went up the private staircase to the attic. When we go to the top of the stairs, Seth looked around and looked at me confused. This space was a complete apartment. It had its own kitchen, bathroom and living/bedroom. I smiled at Seth and walked into the center of the main living area.

"Welcome home my friend. That is if you want it to be." I couldn't help but laugh as his mouth fell open. "I figure you are going to be here most of the time anyway. Plus Sophie is not going to like it if you aren't constantly available. So what do you think? You want to live here with us?"

Seth looked at me and nodded. He crossed and sat in one of the recliners we had put in the apartment. He put his hand on his face and leaned back. He then looked up at me and took a deep breath.

"How are you holding it together so well Jake? I am falling apart here. I haven't even got to see Sophie yet, and being away from her is killing me. How are you not going crazy?"

I crossed and sat in the other recliner. I turned it towards him and put my elbows on my knees and leaned forward. I suddenly was very tired. I looked down and all the emotions I had been holding in for the past three months suddenly broke through. I couldn't fight the tears anymore. I brought my eyes up to his slowly.

"The truth is Seth, I'm not. I've stayed busy, and that is the only thing that has kept me from getting killed by going to Italy months ago. Nessie and Sophie are all I've ever wanted in this world. The fact that in a split second that could be permanently taken away from me, I just can't think about it. When I see Nessie this week and when we get them back, because we will get them back, this will all be just something I can think of as a bad dream. We need to concentrate on the result we want. You need to prepare yourself that what we might see in Italy is going to hurt. Our girls might have been hurt. Our pack, our family could get hurt. Our training, that is what we need to be concentrating on right now." As I ended my speech I had checked my emotions again and I was ready to get this over with.

"Jake, thank you. For all of this. For everything." I stood and put my hand out. He took it and I helped him to his feet.

"That is what families do." And I saw him now, as more than a member of pack, as more than my brother. I saw him as my son. I was so glad that he would be the one to help take care of Cub.

The next morning we all drove to the small airport outside Port Angeles. Tanya and her group from Denali were there waiting for us. We all boarded the private plane that had been chartered and took our seats. My pack and I talked amongst ourselves nervously. This was the first plane trip any of us had taken. Edward and Carlisle went to the cockpit. One of the many skills they had acquired over the years. We took off and spent the next several hours sleeping, well my pack at least, and looking out the windows. We made a stop to refuel in Boston before going on to another small airport outside of Siena, Italy.

Before we landed, Bella came and knelt in the aisle beside me.

"How are you holding up Jake?" I looked at her and smiled. No matter what had happened or would happen in the future, Bells was my best friend.

"I'm doing okay. I never thought that this would be the reason why I was on a plane. I had hoped that Nessie and I could go to Europe for something happier than this." I chuckled, "Hell I never thought I'd ever go to Europe."

Bella laughed and stood, messing up my hair, which I had cut short, as well as the rest of the pack for the upcoming battle. "I promise you will come back for happier times. This is going work out fine. I can feel it."

I looked across the aisle to Jasper and Alice. She was rubbing her forehead, but a small smile came across her face. Jasper sent a wave of calm over the whole plane as we started to descend into Siena. There were cars waiting for us, and we drove in a caravan through the narrow streets of the city. I felt like we had been transported in time. It was dark and there was a soft yellow glow coming from the windows of the houses which all shared walls. There was no space in between the only way you could tell one from the other is the colors were different. We were jostled as we went over the cobblestones and we opened our car windows, taking in the smells in the air; fresh bread, garlic, basil, beef and fish. There was also a warm summer breeze. It was June. The realization of that took me by surprise. June was almost over already.

We drove to the outskirts of the city. It was pitch black the only light was from the stars, but with our enhanced vision we could see the rolling hills and the soft glow from the city behind us. We pulled through a gate onto a long dirt driveway. The road curved in every direction and at all different kinds of angles. Finally in the distance we saw a large house. Well to be honest it looked more like a castle. We all pulled up to the front door and exited our vehicles. Maggie, Siobhan and Liam were there to greet us. My pack stayed back as the rest of our group exchanged greetings. Edward came to us smiling.

"We got a place big enough so that you guys will have your own wing. I can imagine how uncomfortable this week will be for you. Let me show you where you will be staying. Bella, Jasper, Alice and I will be staying there with you if you don't mind." I returned the smile and he led the way into the house.

There was a glow coming from every room. Candles were lit and it was beautiful. All the furniture looked really old, but I was sure that most of the stuff here was worth more than my dad's house. Edward took us up two flights of stairs and down a long hall. We walked past two rooms, and the third room we came to Edward indicated it was for Quil and Embry, followed by rooms for Paul and Jared to share and one room for Seth and me to share.

We all set our bags in our rooms and came back to the hall. Edward motioned for us to return the way we came. "We've had a meal prepared for you. The rest of us are going to catch up ." Edward led us back downstairs and to the dining room where there was a feast prepared. We were left alone and we all ate, talking about the house and what could be waiting for us in the week ahead.

As the week went on, new vampires would arrive. I didn't know half of their names. The pack and I kept to ourselves. The property was huge. We were able to phase and go through training exercises with Jasper and Emmett without the risk of a "normal" human seeing us. We ate our meals alone and no one ventured into our wing of the house.

The day finally came. When we woke in the morning we all were anxious. The vampires went out to feed, spread in every direction; the pack tried to rest and conserve our energy.

As the sun started to set, we all drove to a place ten miles from the field we were to meet. We left our cars and ran the remainder of the way. None of us knew what to expect. We were relying on Bella to keep us safe from anything the Volturi could surprise us with as far as special mojo, and the rest of the plan was to follow Sophie's lead.

We all stood in a loose formation as the sun disappeared and the full moon lit up the field as if it was midafternoon. A crowd began to form on the opposite side of us. This whole scene reminded me so much of what happened back home so many years ago. The main difference was the Nessie wasn't there. The pack and I ran to the tree line at the edge of the field and phased. When we returned we were met with gasps from the crowd opposite of us. They had never seen anything like us.

We heard cars pull up and the vampires across from us parted and Volturi arrived. Bella leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Stay here, beside me, all of you. I can't protect you if you get too far away." I shook my head and Edward turned to look at me.

"Jake, trust Nessie and Sophie. I need you to stay here and be safe. If the time comes, you will know. But for now, let Sophie do what she brought us all here for. They started this, let her finish it."

_I will try Edward, but I make no promises. _

Nessie was brought to the front of the crowd. She looked beautiful and Sophie had gotten so big. She looked back and forth over our side and then her eyes stopped on me.

_She looks okay Jake don't you think? _Seth was trying to convince himself as much as me.

_She looks beautiful._ I was losing my patience. I wanted to get this show on the road.

Aro led Nessie to the center of the gap between. Edward and Carlisle joined them and they started to speak. Aro's guard came and stood behind him, but Edward and Carlisle were alone. I looked up at Bella, trying to convey that I didn't like the fact that there was no extra protection for them. Bella looked down at me and winked.

"I've got them cover Jake. As soon as Nessie is clear I will have her too." She smiled down at me and put her hand on my back.

I heard Aro start to speak, but I was paying more attention to Nessie that to what was being said. Then I heard one of the guards behind her say "I'm just wondering how they taste." Nessie looked back at him and then she fell to her knees. I let out a howl before I could control myself. I wanted to run to her, but Bella kept repeating "She will be fine" and running her hand through my fur trying to calm me.

Suddenly Nessie's sweet voice cut through the night, "I'm fine Jake. Sophie is just stronger than she used to be." She stood again and looked at me and smiled.

_Jake what do we do? _Embry was whimpering behind me.

_We wait. We follow Sophie's lead._ The certainty and confidence in Seth's thoughts took me by surprise.

Aro was getting impatient but suddenly the mood changed again. I heard Nessie gasp and she fell into Edward's arms. Her body was stiff and he lay her down on the ground. He stood and took several steps away from her.

"Sophie has asked me to speak for her. She wished to show you what she is capable of and to keep her word that only one person in this crowd has anything to fear from her." Edward turned and looked at Seth and me.

_Is Nessie really okay Edward? _I needed that confirmation.

Edward gave me a quick nod and smiled. I wish that I could have heard what Sophie was saying to him.

"Again, these are Sophie's words and not mine. She asked that her Uncle Emmett come forward." Emmett chuckled and ran to Edward's side. "This is a demonstration of what it is that I can do. Don't be frightened Uncle Emmett. My Mommy made me believe this is something you would enjoy." Without warning Emmett was lifted off of the ground and was sent flying around above the crowd. He was laughing as Sophie sent him buzzing our heads. After a few minutes, Emmett was set down gently in exactly the same spot he took off from. He was laughing and bent down and put his hands on his knees. He stood up and clapped his hands.

"Cub, you and I are going to have a hell of a lot of fun together." He looked at Edward who motioned him to get back in line. Emmett ran back to his spot beside Blondie and got his game face back on.

Edward took a deep breath and cocked his head to the side. "Because of what I am, I do not fit into any of the categories that have been established. But I also have other abilities. I can use other's powers. I can hear thoughts like my Grandfather. Like now, Aro is thinking of all the ways he could use me to further his ambitions. I can calm a crowd like my Uncle Jasper." A wave of calm came over us, breaking through Bella's shield. "I can even us Jane's power." We watched as Jane's vision turned to Brian and he doubled over in pain. It was short lived however and he quickly stood. Jane looked frightened and annoyed.

Aro came forward, looking down at Nessie as she lay lifeless on the ground. "You have not shown us yet why we should not fear you." He was trying to sound soothing I guess, but it came off as condescending.

Edward smiled, looked back to us and then focused on Aro. "She never said you shouldn't fear her, she just said that only one of you in the crowd had anything to worry about." I could tell Edward was listening intently to Sophie; suddenly he nodded again and turned to our side. "Sophie asks that Emmett, Jasper, Bella, Jacob and Seth come forward to protect her mother." We all did as instructed. Edward kept us about five feet away from where Nessie lay, motionless. I took a deep breath and inhaled her scent into my lungs. I knew I missed it, but not how much until I smelled her again. "If you do not wish to get hurt, might I suggest that you and your people move away from Brian."

Suddenly Brian stood alone opposite us. He started to run away, but he was thrown into the air and brought back to hover above where he had been standing.

"Please. Nessie, we were friends." His pleading just made me angrier. Seth and I both growled and Edward put his hand on my back to keep me where I was.

"That is why you are going to be the example Brian. My mother trusted you. I want all here to be witness that I could have harmed anyone here, but I chose to only make an example of the person who brought pain and suffering to my family." Edward's eyes got wide and he looked at Brian. The rest of us followed.

Brian was brought higher off the ground and there was a loud cracking sound as his back bent back in an unnatural position. There was a scream that cut through the night as his body started to glow. Suddenly flames shot from his stomach and his body started to burn. The screaming stopped, but there was a panic spreading through the crowd in front of us. Within a matter of seconds, Brian was nothing more than a pile of ashes on the ground in front of us.

Aro laughed and clapped his hands. "Amazing. Your family just continues to surprise me."

Edward stepped forward. "Sophie wants to know if you have seen enough and if you will let her and her mother go home without further incident?"

Aro looked down at Nessie and laughed, "I don't think we really have a choice. But I hope that we can come and visit. I would love to see how this little one's powers develop as she grows." The rest of the Volturi were leaving and Aro was bringing up the rear. He turned and looked at us smiling. "Until we meet again my friends." They all quickly got into their cars and drove away.

Edward looked at me and smiled. "Go phase and come back. They are fine."

The pack and I ran back to the tree line, phased, dressed and returned. Nessie was still not moving and Doc was over her taking her vitals. I knelt beside her, grabbing her hand. There was nothing there but black. Then I heard a small giggle being passed through to me.

_I love you Daddy. See you soon. _It was such a sweet voice. Sophie's voice. Even after what I witnessed, she was my daughter. My little Cub. And I was so proud of her. I leaned forward and kissed Nessie's stomach.

"I love you too Cub. Now go to sleep and let me talk to your Mommy." I felt her move and then Nessie's hand squeezed mine. I brought my eyes to hers and she was trying to focus. "Hi Baby." I leaned down and kissed her. She pulled my face away and looked deep into my eyes.

"You're really here?" I kissed her again and she sighed. "You're really here."

Seth stood quietly behind me. I turned and looked at him smiling. "Go ahead and get your fix. I don't think Nessie minds." Nessie smiled at him and he eagerly knelt down and put his hand on her stomach.

"I'm proud of you Baby Girl. Now rest and get strong. I can't wait to see you in a couple of months." Seth stood and Bella pulled him into a hug.

I lifted Nessie up in my arms. She placed her head on my shoulder and kissed my neck.

"Jake can we go home now?"

I closed my eyes and took in the fact that the woman I loved and my daughter were safe in my arms. "Yes Baby. Let's go home."


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36 – Home

Renesmee's POV

Jake carried me as he ran. We were surrounded by all of the people I loved most in the world. Sophie and I were safe. I drifted off to sleep and when I woke, I was being strapped into an airplane seat.

"Jake where are we?" He was leaning over me, buckling my seat belt. He leaned in and kissed me.

"We are on a plane home. Just sleep Baby. You need your rest, both of you." He leaned down and kissed by stomach before setting in the seat next to me. Once his seatbelt was secured, he put his arm around me, pulling me to him. I rested my head on his shoulder and inhaled his scent. It didn't matter where we went now as long as we were together. I drifted off to sleep and I didn't wake again until we were descending to the small airport in Port Angeles. Everyone was excited to be home. You could feel the energy filling the plane.

I looked to the seat across from me and Seth was smiling. Sophie gave me a swift kick and I put my hand on my stomach. Seth leaned forward and did the same.

"Excited to be home Cub?" He smiled and Sophie kicked his hand.

I laughed slightly at all of the trouble I knew Jake and I had ahead of us. While I was a child, we caused more than our share of grief for my mother and father. Jake and I were constantly getting into trouble. He would indulge me more than they wanted and I took advantage of that. As I watched this interaction between Seth and Sophie, couldn't help but think that Jake and I were in for a very bumpy ride. Just then my Dad leaned over my seat, kissing my forehead.

"And just think you have to go through a full childhood. This is going to be so much fun to watch." He laughed as I slapped his hand. My normally reserved Father was getting too much enjoyment out of this and nothing had even transpired yet.

I drove back to Forks with Jake and the rest of the pack. They caught me up on all that had been happening while I was away and once we got to the main house, they all said goodbye and took off towards La Push. Instead of going inside, my whole family, including Seth, stood and smiled, looking at Jake.

"Are you ready to go home Baby?" I looked at him confused. I had just assumed that we were home. Jake and I had been staying at the main house since we returned from Portland. I nodded and he picked me up, running into the trees that surround us. My family followed and after about five minutes, they all slowed to a walk. I knew we were on our way to the site of our home that was being built, so I just imagined they were taking me to show me the progress. But as we entered the clearing, I couldn't hold back the tears of joy.

There was a low white picket fence with a gate that opened up to a cobblestone pathway; lush green grass glisten in the sunlight that broke through the trees. The creek bubbled in the background and there were flowers edging the walkway. To the left was a playhouse and swing set. I laughed at the fact that it would be awhile before it got any use and my Dad leaned forward and whispered, "We've had a hard time keeping the wolves off it." I laughed and Jake and Seth looked guilty.

The house was exactly like the sketches my Grandmother had drawn. It was a sunny yellow with white trim. There was a wraparound porch on the main floor and balconies off of the bedrooms upstairs. There were hanging baskets containing ferns evenly spaced on the overhang. We walked into the interior and it was as if I had spent every day of my life here. It was open and airy and felt like both of the houses I had called home over the years and been combined into perfection. Jake carried me from room to room and each was more beautiful than the next. Sophie's nursery was my favorite though. She kicked wildly as I looked around the room. She was seeing it through my eyes.

When Jake told me that Seth would be living with us as well, I was relieved. I was going to suggest it, but I was afraid of how Jake would react to that suggestion. Everyone left, including Seth who went to his house to pack. The house was quiet, but it was perfect.

Jake carried me up to the master bedroom. It was like stepping into the tropics. The bed had netting around it and there were palms and rich greens, browns and red. Jake laid me on the bed and climbed in next to me. I looked at him and without saying anything, his lips molded to mine. We continued to kiss until we were both out of breath. He sighed and closed his eyes.

"This is going to be a long three months." I looked at him confused. "Baby, I am afraid we are going to have to not go beyond second base until Sophie is born. Cub is just a little too aware of her surroundings." I laughed and then frowned. The fact that I would have to wait another three months at least before Jake and I could make love was not something I wanted to think about.

"I feel like we just took a step backwards." I was pouting and he was being the strong one.

He pulled me tighter against his chest and stroked my hair. "Having you hear like this, both of you, that is all I need to make me happy. I'm so glad you are home safe." His voice cracked and I turned my face to his. He suddenly looked tired and it was as if all the events of the past year had hit him at once. Tears started to roll down his cheeks and I tried to calm him. "You have no idea how good this feels." He whispered in my ear as he pulled me even closer. We both drifted off to a peaceful sleep, knowing that the next day would begin the way that they always should. Together.

July and August flew by. Jake and the pack were busy at the garage. The rest of the family had been sticking close to home, watching me with great anticipation. None of us knew what to expect when Sophie was born. She had not taken over or used her ability since we were in Italy, but she did have one heck of a kick. We all had decided to trust in what Sophie had told my Dad. That she would not remember what she could do and we would have to show her.

My due date came and went, and nothing. I was as big as a house. Every morning before he left for the garage, Jake would carry me to the main house so that I wasn't alone. I was waddling now and Uncle Emmett got a lot of amusement out of it.

So September 6th started as any other day. Jake deposited me on the couch and kissed both Sophie and me, followed by Seth telling us goodbye, giving me a hug and putting his hand on my stomach so Sophie could give him what I had come to think of as a high five. I watched as they would run towards La Push and sighed, falling back into the couch. Uncle Jasper and Uncle Emmett brought over the Monopoly box and started to set it up. The rest of the family was going hunting, leaving me in their capable hands. I felt energized today. But what I wanted to feel was contractions. I was ready to have Sophie in my arms and off of my bladder.

When the house was empty except for the three of us, Uncle Jasper announced that I got to pick my token first. Uncle Emmett glared at me, trying to send me a message. I knew what it was. He wanted the race car.

I gave him a wicked grin and picked up the silver metal car, setting it on the go space.

"Renessme Carlie Cullen, you know I am always the race car. Pick something else." My hulk of an Uncle was pouting.

"Quit whining and be the shoe. It fits you better anyway." Jasper grabbed the cannon and put it next to my token.

"How'd you like a shoe up your ass?" Uncle Emmett sighed and grabbed the top hat. "I'll take this because I look damn sexy in a hat." He flashed us a goofy smile and Uncle Jasper and I rolled our eyes.

After about an hour the properties were distributed and Uncle Emmett had landed once again on Baltic Ave which had a hotel. He shook his head and threw the rent money at Uncle Jasper. All of a sudden, my back started to tighten up. It intensified and as it did, a glass of ice water I had setting on the end table next to me lifted up and flew through the air, hitting the wall and shattering. Uncle Emmett and Uncle Jasper looked at me confused.

"Nessie?" Uncle Jasper sent me a wave of calm and I shrugged my shoulders. "You and Sophie okay?"

"Yeah, I just had a pain in my back, but it is okay now." We all stood to go and clean up the mess the glass left. As I crossed the room another pain ran from the front of my stomach straight through to my back. I doubled over and the couch we had been setting on slid across the room. Then my feet were wet. All three of us looked at the puddle under me and the realization hit us all at once. Before we could say anything another contraction hit and this time it was Uncle Emmett that went flying and hit the wall.

"I'm sorry." I was trying to breathe through the pain and I knew that it was Sophie's reaction to the contractions that was causing the people and objects to be moved. I doubled over and felt the pain subside. I took a deep breath and laugh at the look of shock on my Uncles' faces. They didn't say anything and I waited for them to go into action. They both just stood there looking at me.

"Guys, I need one of you to call Jake and the other to call Grandpa." They just stood there staring at my stomach. "Guys?" They didn't move. I crossed back to the end table where my cell phone was. I quickly hit the speed dial for my grandfather.

"Nessie?" he answered on the first ring.

"Grandpa I'm in labor. Can you come back?" Another contraction hit and one of the large windows that looked out over the lawn shattered.

"Of course. Nessie what was that." I couldn't speak as the contraction reached its peak. As it subsided I took a deep breath and tried to explain.

"Sophie is acting out a bit from the pain. I'm so sorry." I looked at the broken window and started to cry.

"You need to stay calm. Don't worry about anything but breathing through the pain. We are on our way. Where are Jasper and Emmett?" He sounded slightly annoyed.

"They are in shock I think. They are both just staring at me." They still hadn't moved, even when the glass shattered behind them.

"Give Jasper the phone please Nessie. Put it up to his ear." I crossed and did as instructed. Uncle Jasper blinked and then focused his eyes on me.

"Okay Carlisle. Are you on your way?" He was back with me now, but Uncle Emmett still looked dazed. "Okay." Uncle Jasper took the phone from me and picked me up. He kicked Uncle Emmett as we passed, causing him to come back to the present. "Clean up the mess and meet me upstairs."

Uncle Emmett ran toward the kitchen to get the mop and broom and I was carried upstairs to the hospital room that had become a permanent fixture of my Grandparents' house. Uncle Jasper placed me gently on the bed and as he did another contraction hit. He reacted this time, sending a wave of calm over Sophie and me. It didn't diminish the pain, but all that was broken this time was a mirror.

Uncle Jasper flipped open the cell phone again and pressed one of the speed dial buttons. There was a pause and a smile came over his face.

"Thanks Jake, I think you are pretty cute too." There was another pause and Uncle Jasper looked at me and smiled. "You and Seth might want to get over here. Sophie is about to make her debut."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37 –Daddy's Little Girl

Jacob's POV

As Seth and I left the main house towards the garage, something deep inside me was telling me to stay. I just chalked it up to the fact that every time Nessie would make the slightest face, we all thought she was in labor. But I noticed out of the corner of my eye as we ran that Seth kept looking back in the direction we came.

"You okay Seth?"

"Yeah, just got a feeling. Can't put my finger on it." We picked up the pace. No doubt we would feel better once we were elbow deep in the Tribe's plow and sander we were getting ready for winter.

When we arrived at the garage, Quil and Embry were already working. They had the classic rock station blaring in the background and they were discussing the Seahawks. Embry was leaning under the hood of the sander; he tilted his head up and smiled. I made a gesture for him no to give away our presence. Seth and I each grabbed one Quil's ankles that was sticking out from under the truck and pulled.

"Shit." There was a sound of something snapping and a loud splash. When he was visible, Quil's face was covered in oil. Seth, Embry and I couldn't breathe; we were all laughing too hard. Quil took off his shirt and wiped his face, not making much progress.

"Oh sure, it is all fun and games until someone gets my boot up their ass." He marched off to the bathroom to clean up and Seth and I got down to work.

Paul and Jared showed up about an hour later and we had all the bays of the garage humming. It was a good day filled with small talk and there seemed to not be a worry in the world.

My phone rang and I looked at the caller ID and noticed it was Nessie. I exited from under the vehicle I was working on; sat up and flipped open the phone.

"Hey there Beautiful." Hearing her voice would only make the day better.

"Thanks Jake, I think you are pretty cute too." Jasper's voice on the other end of the line caught me completely off guard.

"Jasper is everything okay?" I heard the wrench Seth had been using drop to the floor and instantly he was standing beside me.

"You and Seth might want to get over here. Sophie is about to make her debut." I heard a loud crash and then someone yelling.

"Jasper what was that?"

Jasper laughed slightly, "Well it appears that Sophie is no too happy about the contractions. Emmett seems to be her punching bag. I've been trying to calm her when they hit, but I missed that one. I think Emmett just went through one of the windows downstairs."

"Please take care of them until we get there. We are on our way." I hung up and grabbed Seth's arm. "It's time." I looked around the garage at the rest of the pack. "Finish up here and then get my Dad and bring him to the main house. I don't know what to do about Charlie."

Bella had sat down with Charlie after we got back from Italy, and I think the information of all that had happened and the fact he was going to be a Great Grandfather at the age of 42 didn't go over too well. None of us have talked to him since. Any work he needed done on the cruisers he had his deputy bring them by.

"I guess have Dad call him before you leave." Seth was bouncing, waiting for me at the open bay door.

"Good Luck" we heard them all yell as we ran to the trees.

I was going to be a father. In a very short amount of time, I would get to hold my little girl in my arms. Crap, I was going to be a father. And my sweet little girl would be capable of doing anything she wanted. I had stopped running and realized I was hyperventilating. How were we going to do this? If I try to punish her, she will throw me out a window too. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and Seth was standing in front of me.

"Jake, you need to hold it together." His voice was completely controlled and when I brought my eyes up to his, he looked older than he had not even ten minutes ago.

"Seth, it is hard enough to raise a child, but our child can rip us apart if she wants to. How am I supposed to do this?" I was in full panic mode now.

Seth put his hand on my arm and pulled me so I was standing straight. "You aren't going to be doing this alone. We will all be there. All of us will have Sophie's best interest at heart. It is not going to be easy. For God's sake she is your and Nessie's child. She will be a handful, but she is our handful." I was able to breathe again. "No we need to get there, because I don't want either of those girls' wrath if we don't make it in time." I laughed and we started to run again.

We got to the house just in time to see Emmett go through the French Doors. He landed on his back and growled. "Sophie, I will remember this. Play with your Uncle Jasper for a while."

I walked over and offered him my hand. "Sorry Emmett."

"Hey Jake its fine, keeps me on my toes. I think that it is pretty cool actually. I can see lots of fun over the years." Emmett was lifted about ten feet off the ground and slammed into the porch so hard the boards broke underneath him. "Go see if you can calm her down. It's gonna take us weeks to get this place back in order."

Seth and I entered the house and went up the stairs where the whole family was crowded into the makeshift hospital room on the second floor. Edward crossed to us, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm glad you are here. Jake go be with Nessie; Seth talk to Sophie and see if you can calm her down." I crossed to Nessie who didn't realize I was there until I took her hand.

"Jake." She was exhausted and the pain and worry was written all over her face. "Cub is not happy."

"I don't imagine so. It probably hurts like hell getting squeezed like that." Another contraction hit and Nessie let out a moan as a wave of calm spread across the room. We all heard Emmett fall down the stairs, cussing as he hit hard at the bottom.

"Cub, I'm right here. You need to try to give your Uncle Emmett a break." Seth put his hand on Nessie's stomach and I saw Sophie move to rest herself under his touch. I wished I would have known what was going on when Bella was pregnant with Nessie. The bond that Seth and Sophie shared was so strong already. I would give anything to take back all the anger and hostility I felt toward Nessie then.

"I need to examine your progress Nessie, who do you want to stay?" Doc came to the foot of the bed.

"Just Uncle Jasper to help keep Sophie calm. I would like this to be between Jake and me. I hope you all understand." Everyone came and gave her a kiss and supportive words and then left. Seth was the last to leave. He kissed Nessie on the forehead and then leaned down and kissed her stomach.

"I'll see you soon baby girl. I love you." Seth looked at me and I knew he wished he could stay, but I agreed with Nessie that this needed to be our memory. He closed the door behind him as he left and Doc positioned himself to check to see if Nessie was ready to start pushing.

"Well it appears to be that time. With the next contraction Nessie I want you to bear down and push. Jasper, try to keep everyone as calm as possible." Doc waited for Nessie's cue and as soon as the contraction started, I put my hand behind her back and brought her up to help her push.

Jasper tried to keep us calm, but there was only so much he could do. After about a half an hour of pushing, I was beginning to think Sophie as stuck.

Doc looked up at us and smiled. "Just a few more pushed and she will be here."

Nessie leaned back in my arms she looked up at me and smiled weakly. "I love you Jacob Black." I leaned forward and kissed her as another contraction hit. I bent her forward and she pushed, sending out a scream for the first time.

As the contraction ended I was able to respond. "I love you Renesmee Carlie Cullen." One more contraction and I saw Doc grab a small blue think that looked like a mini turkey baster.

"Nessie one more push and her shoulder's will be clear." I looked down and saw Doc using the blue thing on a Sophie's face. Nessie's final contraction hit and she pushed so hard, I was so proud of her. "Nessie stop pushing now." The next thing I knew, Sophie as there, laying on Nessie's stomach. She didn't cry, she just looked at the two of us with the most beautiful brown eyes. Her black hair plastered to her head. "Jake do you want to cut the cord?" I nodded and Doc handed me the scissors and showed me where to cut.

Nessie and I were both in shock I think as Doc took Sophie to weigh her and get her cleaned up.

"Jake she's not crying. Is she okay?" Panic filled Nessie's voice and it carried over to me. I went to stand behind Doc and as soon as the wet washcloth touched her face, she let out a loud cry. The sound of it brought tears to my eyes.

"Jake I have to finish up some things with Nessie, can you finish cleaning her up?" I nodded and Jasper was there, helping me. We got her all cleaned up and diapered. Jasper showed me how to swaddle Sophie properly.

"I had little brothers, and had to help my mother." Once she was secure in her soft pink blanket, she calmed down.

Nessie's eyes were on us as I turned around, Sophie cradled in my arms. I walked her over and placed our daughter into her waiting arms.

"Sophie, this is your Mommy." Nessie brought Sophie's face to hers and she kissed her nose.

"Welcome to the world Cub. You are so special and so loved." Sophie started to fuss and we both looked to Doc who was standing at the foot of the bed.

"Try to see if she will eat." With that Doc and Jasper left the room, leaving us alone.

I helped Nessie lift off the shirt she was wearing. As soon as Sophie's mouth latched on to Nessie, she began to eat eagerly. Well I can see she took after me in that aspect. Once she was done with her first meal, I held her as Nessie dressed. She was exhausted.

"Do you want to sleep, or are you ready for company?" Nessie reached up for Cub and I begrudgingly passed her over.

"I would like to introduce the family to our daughter. Let Seth come in alone first." I nodded at her and opened the door to get Seth. He fell into the room as the door opened. He must have been leaning against it. The rest of the family made a move to enter and I held my hand up.

"It will be just a minute. We want to give Seth and Sophie some time." They all settled back to where they were waiting, none of them leaving the hallway.

I helped Seth to his feet and closed the door behind him. He took a deep breath and slowly walked to the end of Nessie's bed. I took Sophie from Nessie and walked to my friend. He looked at me and then down to Sophie. She had her eyes open wide, taking him in. As soon as their eyes met, I saw the connection solidify between them. What I had felt for Nessie on the day she was born, was visible all over Seth's face. I tear ran down his cheek and he reached out and gently touched her face.

I held her out to him and he gently took her in his arms. He brought her up to his eyelevel, and smiled the most genuine and peaceful smile. "Hello Baby Girl. I've been waiting for you. We are going to have a great life. I promise." Seth tucked her into his arms and looked at us. "Thank you."

"She's not yours yet Clearwater. You have a long wait ahead of you. At least twenty years." I looked at Nessie and she smiled.

"Eighteen."

Seth's eyes focused on Sophie again. "And what a good time we are going to have."


	38. Chapter 38

Epilogue

Seth's POV

So much has happened since Sophie made her appearance into my world six months ago. So much, but it seems like all I've done is blinked.

Three months ago, Nessie and Jake finally made it down the aisle. Jake asked me to be his Best Man and Alice was Nessie's Matron of Honor. I don't remember much about the ceremony because Sophie was being too damn cute in the front row in Bella's arms. She would look at me and laugh and she kept reaching out to me. Half way through, before the vows were said, I had to pick her up and bring her up front with me because she go so impatient she sent Edward's piano sailing across the floor. Nessie and Jake were so happy. I had to admit that it just felt like a technicality. To all of us they already seemed married. Alice did her usual. The house was floor to ceiling twinkle lights and flowers. The one glaring absence was Charlie. I know that it hurt Nessie that her Grandfather wasn't there. He had kept his distance ever since Bella had told him about Sophie. He had never even seen her. I kept thinking that one of these days he would come around.

Speaking of Sophie; she is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen in my life. She has Nessie's fair skin and Jake's black hair. Her brown eyes are so expressive. She takes in everything and I know she is more advanced mentally than her body lets her be. At times that frustrates her. Emmett is still her favorite punching bag. They have made a game out of it though. Emmett can tell when Sophie needs to vent and he engages her in game of let's see how far you can throw your Uncle. He will start to run in the opposite direction and Sophie will pick him up with her mind and send him sailing. Just the other day she dunked him in the creek first before sending him flying through the trees.

My baby girl is six months old already. She eats human food, thank God. Not that there is anything wrong with the Cullen's diet, but it will make life much easier in the future. She has started eating out of those little jars, and I hate to admit it, but I sneak bites of her desserts. Living at Jake and Nessie's has been great. I think it was smart of them to move me in when they did because I don't know if the house would still be standing if I had to leave every night. You might say whatever Sophie wants, Sophie gets.

Sam is officially retired. He works at the garage with us still and Emily and his new family seem very happy. There are times that I can see the longing in his eyes when we phase and run off on patrol. But I finally understand doing what seems impossible for someone you love. The rest of the pack is doing well. Embry and Stephanie are engaged. I imagine it won't be too long before he also becomes domesticated. Jared and Paul are heading in that direction as well. Which leave the occasional new member, Quil, Jake and me. Quil still has a while to wait for Claire. She is ten now, so I figure we still have another fifteen years with him before he leaves us too. Only Jake and I seem to be members of the lifers club. And every time I look at Sophie, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Leah is gone. She decided to go up to Alaska and try to attend college up there. She was going to stay in wolf form for a while and then return to the land of the normals. I don't expect to ever hear from her again. When Sam stopped phasing it was like the last piece of her that I remembered as my sister died. I think those small moments when their brains were connected was all that kept her from going feral. When that was gone, she decided to leave for good. My mother finally understands. I still see my mom, but it is when Charlie is at work.

Nessie and I are still in school. I have decided to follow in Carlisle's footsteps. I am going to get my medical degree. Nessie is working on a degree in History. I think it is fitting since most of what they teach her, the family lived through. I have a long time left in school, but time is one thing I am not lacking. Sophie has gotten used to Nessie and me being gone three days a week. Edward keeps telling me that it is good to have that time apart, but there are days when the last thing I can do is concentrate when she is that far away from me.

This morning was one of my non-school days. Jake gave me the day off because things at the garage were slow. Nessie was going shopping with Alice and Rose. I woke up early and enjoyed the quiet. Sophie wasn't awake yet, and Nessie and Jake had already left. I made a pot of coffee and started to pick out Sophie's breakfast when I heard her start to wake. I ran up the stairs and peaked around the door jam. She was setting up in her crib and looking towards the door, her eyes still half shut with sleep. When she saw me she smiled and let out a giggle.

"Morning Baby Girl." I crossed to her and she lifted her arms towards me. I picked her up and immediately took her to the changing table. I got her cleaned up and took her down to the kitchen where I had decided on a breakfast of peaches and cereal for the most beautiful girl in the world. I think I got more down the front of her than in her mouth, but after she was done, I got her all cleaned up and dressed in a cute little white and red sweat suit. February was still bringing snow to the area and today was no exception. After she was dressed I grabbed a cup of coffee and she and I sat in the big overstuffed chair in front of the fireplace. I turned the chair to look out the window. The snowflakes were steadily picking up and getting bigger. My hair was still long because of the temperatures, and Sophie spent about twenty minutes running her hands through it and pulling it. I would hold her up and her legs would push off my thighs. It wouldn't be much longer and she would be walking. Then there would be no peace.

I watched as her eyelids started to get heavy. Sophie never fought sleep. Her naptime was something she looked forward to. She settled into my arms, placing her head on my chest. I heard her take a long ragged sigh and I knew she was asleep. As I sat there and watched the snow pile up, I could not have been happier. What the future had in store for the pack, I had no idea. How long it would take me to get through with school, who the hell knew. None of that mattered.

My future, my world, was sound asleep in my arms. As long as I had Sophie, everything else could fall away.

I kissed the top of her head. She was so small against my chest. "I love you Sophie Rae Black. I look forward to forever with you."

I grabbed the blanket that was on the back of the chair and placed it over the top of us. I closed my eyes and followed my angel to sleep.

The End….


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